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(Chron)   V-v-v-vibrat-t-ting t-t-t-tongue j-j-j-jewelers s-s-s-quab-b-b-ble over p-p-patent-t-t right-t-t-ts   (chron.com) divider line 90
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18450 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Apr 2004 at 11:41 AM (10 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-04-20 11:42:42 AM
Mention "vibrating" and "tongue" in the same sentence, and you've got my attention.
 
2004-04-20 11:43:06 AM
If you haven't smoked from a vibrating bong then you haven't really gotten high.
 
2004-04-20 11:43:12 AM
Why were the tounge jewelers vibrating?
 
2004-04-20 11:43:22 AM
First Janet Jackson put erotic body-piercing jewelry on center stage in Houston.

No she didn't.

I second that, Alexis. :)
 
2004-04-20 11:43:26 AM
vibrating tongue? I'm sure there's a few hummer jokes in there somewhere.
 
2004-04-20 11:43:36 AM
SssssPeeeeaaaaakiiiingggggg innnnnnn tonnnngggueesssss isssssss nowwwwww quiiiiteeee immmmpppposssiblllee, mmuuuuuch leeeessss taaaalkiiiiing noooorrmallllyyyy....
 
2004-04-20 11:43:44 AM
Mabee they can become 911 operators.
 
2004-04-20 11:43:54 AM
worst. headline. ever.
 
2004-04-20 11:46:55 AM
It is just stupid to have tounge jewlery. I have talked near deaf people easier that some of these morons with tounge posts. Then THEY get mad when you can't understand them because they have a lob of steel in their tounge.
 
2004-04-20 11:47:38 AM
Passions in Klein's case escalated last month when attorneys for the companies scuffled at a deposition in San Francisco. Both filed assault and battery charges against each other.

WTF? I've had opposing counsel scream and pound the table -- but I've never gotten into a physical scuffle with one. I don't ever scream back -- being calm seems to piss them off more.

Any other farker/lawyers ever have it happen?
 
2004-04-20 11:48:44 AM
I for one like the title :]
 
2004-04-20 11:48:46 AM
***Texas bans the sale of vibrators, although adult stores tend to get around the law by dubbing them as novelties, medicinal or educational.***


I concur that they are all of the above. I have *learned* that these *playthings* keep me mentally *healthy.* As both health and educational tools, they should be tax deductible.
 
2004-04-20 11:49:22 AM
Vibrating?

Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "tongue in cheek"
 
2004-04-20 11:49:28 AM
vibrators as medicinal huh? interesting..
 
2004-04-20 11:50:05 AM
actually, it was a creative headline, but it just took me too long to read it.
damn public schooling.
 
2004-04-20 11:50:18 AM
A story about two piles of walking excrement in a dung-flinging match. Comedy gold.
 
2004-04-20 11:51:09 AM
talk about a HUMMER.
 
2004-04-20 11:51:26 AM
i wish texas would have become their own country back when they were pushing for it hard. You can buy vibes there but they will put 16 year old kids to death ? im confused.
 
2004-04-20 11:51:43 AM
I remember a photo spread of some skank called Cheyenne or something like that in Penthouse in the 70s...she said her ideal man would have a vibrator implanted in the tip of his tongue.

Ain't progress grand!
 
2004-04-20 11:52:18 AM
Litig8r
PUHLEEZE!!!.....
You *know* that there are no such things as "farker/lawyers" that could even possibly be "lawyers/farkers"......mythical creatures...
/Hey, it's just a little JOKE!!!!
 
2004-04-20 11:52:33 AM
Dirk Tiggler strikes again.
 
2004-04-20 11:54:21 AM
If you want the king of vibrators. Take my car up to 55MPH. If that isn't vibration I don't know what is. I actualy have to tighten bolts in my car every few weeks.
 
2004-04-20 11:55:10 AM
I have talked near deaf people easier that some of these morons with tounge posts.



Huh?
 
2004-04-20 11:58:12 AM
HangMan

talked to near deaf people, sorry the "to" got left out.

/me fail engrish
 
2004-04-20 11:58:47 AM
It is just stupid to have tounge jewlery. I have talked near deaf people easier that some of these morons with tounge posts. Then THEY get mad when you can't understand them because they have a lob of steel in their tounge.

I have read near illiterate people easier that some of these morons with...

/irony enabled
 
2004-04-20 11:59:11 AM
Those things wrap around your tongue...
 
2004-04-20 11:59:52 AM
Crosshair

I have talked near deaf people easier that some of these morons with tounge posts.

Maybe it's not the people with the posts?

/just kidding...
 
2004-04-20 11:59:58 AM
How often do you have to plug your tongue in?

/didn't RTFA
 
2004-04-20 12:00:52 PM
"WE CANT THTOP! WE'VE GOT TO THLOW DOWN FIRLTH!"

/only using caps b/c he's yelling
 
2004-04-20 12:05:52 PM
 
2004-04-20 12:07:13 PM
Thnk t s tme t strt wrtng wthut vwls

(I think it is time to start writing without vowles)
 
2004-04-20 12:08:07 PM
Oh, and regarding this:

Texas bans the sale of vibrators, although adult stores tend to get around the law by dubbing them as novelties, medicinal[sic] or educational.

I really hate legislation based on puritanical religious nonsense. On what authority does a state ban the sale of vibrators? God, I find it hard to have faith in humanity some days...
 
2004-04-20 12:10:15 PM
"How could I steal their idea if I filed my patent before them?" said Eric Klein, president of KPlus. He got the idea for the Tiggler from watching Rosanna Arquette's profusely pierced character in the movie Pulp Fiction explain that her tongue stud served a sexual purpose.

So actually, they both owe Quentin Tarantula
 
2004-04-20 12:10:21 PM
Vibrating tongue jewelry...? Some people really have a difficult time getting off. I'm thinking these devices might appeal to the same crowd as those "clothing-optional" Jamaican resorts, i.e. fat, middle-aged, German sex-tourists, and desiccated, pig-ugly, American "swingers" with genital warts.
 
2004-04-20 12:10:21 PM
Alexis

I really hate legislation based on puritanical religious nonsense. On what authority does a state ban the sale of vibrators? God, I find it hard to have faith in humanity some days...


Just use a cell phone, instant vibrator.
 
2004-04-20 12:11:26 PM
Ever had one of those tongue barbell wearers get it stuck between their lower front teeth while they were talking to you? Yuck! They spray all over then have to manually unstick it. Imagine the vibrator mode being on when it's stuck between their teeth - ewww!
 
2004-04-20 12:11:57 PM
ggggggrrrrrreattttt hhhhhhhheaddddddllllllinnnnnnne
 
2004-04-20 12:14:13 PM
Alexis
...on what authority

On the same authority given by the people who voted for the idjits making these laws. Puritanical community rule and all still pervades...

You do know I'm with ya, right?

Sidenote: Women who become adamant about vibrator-rights makes kittens cry.
 
2004-04-20 12:14:57 PM
I know a lot of lesbians in Texas. Does that mean if they brought vibrators from California, and are using them, they're .....BREAKING THE LAW?? Awwwwwriight! What a great way to get arrested.

"Ma'am? Could you step out of the car and stop moaning?"
 
2004-04-20 12:16:06 PM
I had no idea Texas banned the sale of vibrators. Funny, considering I've bought a few....hmmm...I thought I lived in TX....Oh yeah, I don't use mine, they're just novelties.
 
2004-04-20 12:18:29 PM
i am a cyborg.

/ratbert
 
2004-04-20 12:20:36 PM
Body piercing: Self esteem through self mutilation.
 
2004-04-20 12:23:55 PM
i for one welcome our vibrating tongue overlords.
 
2004-04-20 12:24:26 PM
IB6UB9
looking at that animated gif of the tiggler with Albert Glass' Violin Solo Music from Einstein on the Beach playing is just too hilarious! highly reccomended.

amystang00
thats a shame ;)
 
2004-04-20 12:27:17 PM
Lovelight

Just proves that there's more than one way to make beautiful music...
 
2004-04-20 12:33:22 PM
"I thought, 'That doesn't make a lot of sense...'"

This guy just admitted, however indirectly, that he's never been blown by a chick with a tongue ring.

I think he should try it out first and then make judgements about whether or not it makes sense.

-c
 
2004-04-20 12:35:48 PM
Lovelight
Not to be a nazi, but I believe it's Philip Glass you're listenin' to.

Good info here if you're a fan: Einstein
 
2004-04-20 12:42:07 PM
He's an engineer, chrismac. Preferes his women digital, if you know what I mean.
 
2004-04-20 12:42:43 PM
Ha ha.

My friends and I laughed hysterically for hours after contemplating the fun one could have with a pager set to "vibrate" and a portable phone. I, for one, envisioned many an afternoon spent sitting in a corner some place with the pager in my pants... sneaking it into someone else's pants might be difficult.

And I must say, having been eaten by girls and guys with tongue studs and without tongue studs, I like naked tongues better.

/my 2 cents
 
2004-04-20 12:44:00 PM
I saw these types of things in a sex shop a couple months back. I thought it looked like a good idea, but I wouldnt need one of those on my tongue to get a chick off.

/damn proud of that fact
 
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