Is this a joke? Or more to the point- will it work with weed?

Just the other day I was kicking back having a pint after work and this stupid c*nt was like, "that cigarette is really annoying, could you put it out? It's really bothering me and my co-workers". So I look over and apparently it's the meeting of the marketing department for some local company with 10 annoying looking asshats all sitting there around the biggest table in the place all frowning at me and looking at me like I'm doing something wrong. Like I'm one of their farking kids or some sort of leper. So I stand up and I walk right up to their table and I point "See that sign? That says SMOKING SECTION. You have obviously accidentally sat in the wrong place. I'll go get the manager right now and ask him to move you". So this big fat guy starts up with his "hey buddy" bit and I put up my hand and ignored him and got the manager. The manager explained that they were indeed in the smoking section and that they'd have to either tolerate my cigarettes (I was chain-smoking at that point of course) or he could relocate them to the non-smoking section. The fat guy blubbered about how they liked the bar and there was no bar in the non-smoking section and how the view was better in the bar blah blah blah etc. The manager basically said "tough titty". So they all marched out with their noses in the air. I blew smoke at them of course. When they were seated in the non-smoking section, the manager gave them two waiters to keep them happy and came back to the bar, sat beside me, bought me a drink, and lit up a pall mall.

I don't know how old many of you are, but there used to be this silly little punk rock movement called sXe or "straight edge". The gist of it was, don't drink, don't have sex, don't do drugs, don't smoke, don't eat meat, etc. Preach preach preach and preach some more to everyone you know. Annoy the shiat out of them. Show up at every punk rock show and completely fark it up for everyone else. So I'm in Phili for a show at the kyberpass (moment of silence for the kyberpass please............. thank you) and I'm smoking a cigarette and this farking sXe kid walks right up to me and says "You don't need that shiat" and takes my cigarette out of my mouth and throws it on the ground and steps on it, then all gets in my face as if to say "what ya goona do about it". I punched him in the mouth a few times and made him buy me a whole pack at the bar next to the kyber. His supposed friends took off running.