"That old boy, it seems like he can't get a break"

Excuse me? Seems to me he got 315 million of them.

This guy continually sets himself up for trouble, how many news stories have we had on him in just the last 6 months?

You'd think this guy would learn to not carry his money-stuffed mattress around with him. A large piggy bank would suffice.

I have a humble suggestion to make to Mr. Jack Whittaker:

"Put Your Money (ALL OF IT) in the Bank and get
yourself a security system - you ignorant tool!!!"

What would I do with 315 million dollars? I'm pretty sure I wouldn't carry it around.

And who says crooks don't read the news?

Considering the penchant this guy has for keeping large wads of cash around, you would think he is suicidal or something. Jeez ass, just write me into your will and I'll go buy you a gun.

I'd move somewhere where nobody knew who the f*ck I was.

Okay, we obviously need a "Whittaker" tag around here.

Good God! He is still in West Virginia? Put that money in the bank - live off the interest - live somewhere besides West farkING Virginia. What a sucko.

What a brilliant deputy.

Hey, if I was some poor fark in West Virginia with nothing but time, coal dust and my daughter's ejaculate on my hands, I'd take my shot, too.

While I've seen pictures of the guy, I still imagine him walking around with a large cloth sack with "$$$" painted on the side.

Tard.

315 million? Buy yourself a safe and a CIWS.

Wow what a great headline. Almost like the one I submitted:

(Charleston Sunday Gazette Mail) [OBVIOUS] A neighbor saw someone go inside Whittaker's Scott Depot home with a flashlight Saturday morning while the family was out of town, Chief Deputy John Dailey said Monday. Police got the call at 2:32 a.m. and officers arrived seven minutes later. One deputy saw someone and gave chase, but the suspect got away. There may have been a getaway vehicle nearby, Dailey said. It did not appear that anything was taken from the residence, said Dailey. The intruder tried to enter a vehicle parked in front of the garage, then entered the house through the garage, Dailey said. Police have not determined how the suspect got into the garage. Whittaker won a Powerball prize of nearly $315 million, the largest individual jackpot ever, on Christmas Day 2002. Since then, there have been three incidents in which money was reported stolen from his vehicle. "They're targeting him because they know he has the money and I guess he's known for having it on him,'' Dailey said. "That old boy, it seems like he can't get a break.''

I have to agree with skinink here - if I ever win a jackpot like that, I look forward to having a number of people killed.

Remember, "It's all relative in West Virginia"

/Thanks, A&F

Are they just having a contest there to determine who's the bigger idiot: Jack or the whole town?! They are running neck and neck -- No comment about coloration of said necks.

skinink

Great plan. Plus, I think assassin's fees are tax deductible.

redistribution of wealth at its finest. One rich dumbass benefits the whole town.

also, maybe Mr Whittaker might want to look into a credit card or perhaps a cheque book.
he needs what, ten twenty grand cash tops. you know, for lapdances.

It wouldn't be hard to disappear. it would be difficult for
this clown 'cause the first thing he'd do in his new locale
would be...get drunk, flash a wad of cash, and start braggin' about it.

Jack Whittiker is Henry Earl with money.

Are you kidding me with this guy? Again? Sheesh!!!

Good argument to not tell a dang soul if you ever win. I know I wouldn't. It would be difficult, but just seeing all the crap this guy has put up with, I think I'd keep it to myself...

Oh maybe I'd tell the hubby. Maybe.

Show me the money

Hire a guard. Give him a gun.

Time to move and change your name. See if Guy Incognito is taken.

"...and I guess he's known for having it on him"

He must have very big pockets.

We have a hi-larious TV reporter 'round these parts who tried to interview him at his house after one of his other robberies. Jack was recovering from surgery and looked like hell, so he shut the door in her face. Unfazed, she got him to open the door, promising just one question, which wound up being: "Are ya bummed, Jack?" He just nodded and shut the door again.

LMfrickinAO Diogenes

It's almost too easy, huh?

poor dope.

haplo53 -- au contraire. Rich dope.

Idiot.

I'd put all the money in the bank...'cept I'd keep enough out so I could do two chicks at the same time.

What he needs to do is give all his money to me. Then people would leave him alone.

This guy needs to get in touch with this Nigerian friend of mine... he's got a really cool deal ready to go. I'll only take a small cut, a finder's fee if you will.

Wait you don't mean Jack Whittaker who lives on 345 Quacker Lane Charleston NC. The same one who has a big blue SUV with the NC plates RT3334 and carries bundles of cash when he goes to strip clubs? Who also leaves every other weekend and uses the spare key underneath the fake rock near the back door?

Hasn't this guy heard of a debit/check card? They work almost every where these days. You don't even need to carry cash, except in smaller amounts.

Here's Jack (in the 10-gal hat) after getting robbed in August.

One day that guy's gonna get bludgeoned or something during a botched kidnapping, and everyone in that shiatty town is gonna be like, "Jack was the nicest guy you could every meet... I don't know who'd want to hurt him... When I found out he was murdered, I was totally shocked..."

Some lottery winners you resent for their lavish living. But Whittaker has given back to the community, specifically the Fark community, far beyond what he has been given.

We salute you (insert obligatory tear).

p.s. ChewbaccaJones: how were you able to write in another font?

Valdemiro

You forgot what lot number he has. It might have been one of the winning lottery numbers.

If this idiot's dumb enough to keep large amounts of cash on himself, his car and his residence, he deserves to get robbed. I'd do it myself if the occasion rose.
/obvious

Anybody got his daughter's number? Heck, for that kind of moolah, I'd go foursome on this ol boy...

mama's_tasty_foods -

Its a JPEG.