FARK.com: (899514) Vampires are killing Brazillians. Van Helsing has been alerted

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		Vampires are killing Brazillians. Van Helsing has been alerted (news.bbc.co.uk)		58
		More: Scary

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9507 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Apr 2004 at 9:02 PM | Favorite | share:

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frankenbeans		2004-04-03 02:10:39 PM

that sucks.

Skylark_King		2004-04-03 03:31:23 PM

frankenbeans
No, man... it bites.

InternetSecurityGuard		2004-04-03 09:05:40 PM

They need to hang up some Shell No Bat Strips.

Raizok		2004-04-03 09:06:00 PM

What a misleading headline, I had my cape and top hat all packed and ready to go too :(

SwampyBalls		2004-04-03 09:08:33 PM

Chupacabras?

/DRA

c4mp3r		2004-04-03 09:08:35 PM

"I am like sugar to them."

I_ate_Jared		2004-04-03 09:09:29 PM

call Alucard...
great series, I loved it. That and Cowboy Bebop are the only two anime series that I like.

daveuf		2004-04-03 09:09:38 PM

Oh no! What will happen to the absurdly-attractive female models! I must go and protect them!

SemiotomaticWeapon		2004-04-03 09:10:12 PM

your bat wants... in 3...2...1...

Apparent Nuisance		2004-04-03 09:12:09 PM

"Brazilians."

ViciousXero		2004-04-03 09:12:50 PM

/calls Richter Belmont

EnigmaticJoe		2004-04-03 09:13:13 PM

man, the whole world's gone batty. First Sammy Hagar sees aliens and now this.

jizzmasterzero		2004-04-03 09:13:53 PM

Can't post this for some weird reason.

Here's your vampire.

AlienOmega		2004-04-03 09:17:00 PM

They need a vampire hunter...

...named 'D'.

RockIsDead		2004-04-03 09:20:43 PM

What in bloody 'ell?

germaniac		2004-04-03 09:26:34 PM

28 Days Later?

TheSelphie		2004-04-03 09:27:24 PM

Excellent headline. I've been reading the Dracula novel by Bram Stoker for school, and I love it. The headline definitely brought a smile to my face.

Tiamat		2004-04-03 09:29:06 PM

Van Helsing? Please!

If you're in trouble, if no one else can help - and, if you can find him - maybe you can hire...(machine gun noise) The Jesus

PhroG_XIX		2004-04-03 09:33:19 PM

Tiamat - GREAT little movie.

"If I'm not back in five minutes, call the Pope."

spiffymckracken		2004-04-03 09:35:06 PM

Damn i tried to submit this article, but I got beat to it

sk0undrel		2004-04-03 09:36:30 PM

...and obviously Anne Rice is hard at work incorporating it as one of Lestat's "many travels across south America, and the attacks being blamed on bats by people who refuse to believe in vampires"

/oops, spoiled her new plot. Back to page one. "It all began in 18XX in new orleans (or france..or some other exotic place where they might speak french), when...." :p

brendan727		2004-04-03 09:39:12 PM

Ummm... What did they expect, that the vampires would HELP them? This is, after all, what vampires do.

Etendue		2004-04-03 09:47:46 PM

Oh those Boys from Brazil... wait, I thought they were Nazis... Lost Boys?

Dahne		2004-04-03 09:49:16 PM

They STEAL men's SOULS and make them their SLAAAAVES.

Devoid		2004-04-03 09:52:24 PM

Tiamat wins. I've got the movie, just haven't had a chance to watch it yet.

Weaver95		2004-04-03 09:54:58 PM

You know, I really hate it when someone steals my article link, rewords the headline I wrote just a little bit, and then gets the link greenlighted.

If you're going to take credit for my headlines, at least put some effort into it.

geez.

dracula		2004-04-03 10:03:47 PM

If you don't own Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter, you're missing out. FYI, I'm not responsible for this stuff. The bats are a rogue group.

furiousODN		2004-04-03 10:04:42 PM

Weaver95 I wrote the same headline except it was "Vampires kill 13 in Brazil, Van Helsing on his way" or something along those lines but you don't see my complaining. I'm sure lots of other people had the same idea.

My Dixie Wrecked		2004-04-03 10:05:23 PM

I submitted this with a less funny headline. Props.

Weaver95		2004-04-03 10:08:44 PM

[I'm sure lots of other people had the same idea.]

I'd considered making an off the cuff White Wolf related comment, but thought it'd be too obscure for non-gamer types.

Beppo		2004-04-03 10:14:54 PM

Well that's just peachy. I'm planning a trip to Brazil at the end of this month. Sheesh, everything's ruining peoples' vacations; if it isn't bombs on European railways it's frickin vampires in Brazil.
What the fark is next? Child molesters at Disney World? Oh, wait...

Weaver95		2004-04-03 10:24:53 PM

[Child molesters at Disney World? Oh, wait...]

I thought that was an urban legend? Mind you, it wouldn't surprise me if it was true.

Mouser		2004-04-03 10:31:28 PM

A health ministry spokesman told Reuters news agency government scientists believed the more aggressive behaviour of the bats could be linked to deforestation.

Greater availability of livestock, coupled with less vegetation for fruit-eating bats, could have favoured an increase in the numbers of vampire bats.

History shows again and again
how Nature points out the Folly of Man...

crossbuster		2004-04-03 10:38:18 PM

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter? HOLY CRAP! I must see this movie.

50v137RU5514		2004-04-03 10:43:59 PM

No, No, NO! Vampire Hunter D was one of the shiatiest movies ever.

50v137RU5514		2004-04-03 10:46:21 PM

Weaver95, there a FARK article on it, it says a tigger mascot at disney world molested a child and mother.

ColdFusion		2004-04-03 10:52:46 PM

England Sends Assistance.

Beppo		2004-04-03 10:59:33 PM

Weaver: Nope, it's true.

Weaver95		2004-04-03 11:01:37 PM

[...it says a tigger mascot at disney world molested a child and mother.]

I'm not sure if that's funny or really, really, sick.

I've heard rumors of some serious pedophilla rings working Disney over the years tho. Mostly I just consider them to be rumors...but given disney's draconian control over local media sometimes I wonder if there might be a grain of truth to the stories.

could just be my hatred of the rat cult bleeding thru tho.

Assh		2004-04-03 11:11:16 PM

The world's sexiest vampire.

Rocko2001		2004-04-03 11:20:06 PM

Yummy 1

Yummy 2

Yummy 3

Yummy 4

Yummy 5

Yummy 6

Yummy 7

Yummy 8

Yummy 9

Yummy 10

Yummy 11

DragoonDM		2004-04-03 11:20:17 PM

The fools! Don't they know that you have to REKILL them before they return from the dead?

You simply take out the heart, stab it, grind it up and drink it. Make sure you don't get drunk beforehand.

Akuinnen		2004-04-03 11:22:39 PM

Quick! Call Grand Moff Tarkin!

AlienOmega		2004-04-03 11:25:00 PM

No, No, NO! Vampire Hunter D was one of the shiatiest movies ever.

The original or Bloodlust? Because even though the original wasn't all that great (despite the cult following), Bloodlust rocked.

"It's zombie time!"

Weaver95		2004-04-03 11:26:59 PM

Rocko2001 - I'm repelled, yet oddly intrigued.

RepNatComm		2004-04-03 11:28:27 PM

"A health ministry spokesman told Reuters news agency government scientists believed the more aggressive behaviour of the bats could be linked to deforestation."

"Greater availability of livestock, coupled with less vegetation for fruit-eating bats, could have favoured an increase in the numbers of vampire bats"

A greater availability of shotguns would solve this problem.