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(Recoil)   Unemployment rate among hot young women holding at zero percent   ( divider line
    More: Obvious  
•       •       •

18891 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Apr 2004 at 3:43 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

59 Comments     (+0 »)

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2004-04-03 12:33:01 PM  
Could this be the hereto unknown "Ass Ceiling"?
2004-04-03 12:45:55 PM  
If I was a "totally smokin' hot young chick" I'd be billing at $500 per hour.
2004-04-03 02:25:04 PM  
Holy shiat, a funny satire link on Fark!!!
2004-04-03 03:13:06 PM  
Good looks help, but certainly aren't everything. The only thing that captures an MBA's attention more than a hot babe is money. When they hire they see dollar signs, not tits.
2004-04-03 03:25:28 PM  
Job market for nerdy History majors = ________

*crickets chirping*
2004-04-03 03:46:48 PM  
I'd hit it? (appropriate for this link somehow, I'm sure)
2004-04-03 03:47:19 PM  
Hot women are sluts! They'll have sex with you if you hire them!

2004-04-03 03:48:29 PM  
Not bad, not bad. Made me grin.
2004-04-03 03:49:10 PM  
Yeah, I avoid the satire links like the plague -- especially the bbspot ones which are way too long and never funny. This, however, was actually somewhat amusing.
2004-04-03 03:49:43 PM  
I am shocked at these findings!!
2004-04-03 03:50:50 PM  
Without reading the article, I can only assume the headline implies that we don't need any more hot young woman! I find that very hard to believe.
2004-04-03 03:51:25 PM  
If all we hired were hot young fillas, eventually the market becomes saturated. Starting from 1978, you'd have to think the job pool would be full of them.

Leading to hot old women hiring hot young women.

Henh henh, alright!

[image from too old to be available]
2004-04-03 03:52:36 PM  
"If you look at the statistics, it's clear that sexy babes are historically the most employable members of the nation's labor pool," said Patterson as his secretary - an unbelievably hot piece of ass that couldn't be a day over 21 - refilled his coffee mug. "And all indications are that this trend will likely continue for the foreseeable future."

Ahahahahaha. Funny shiat.
2004-04-03 03:53:24 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Yes, I definitely do not believe this lady will ever be filing for UI anytime soon.
2004-04-03 03:54:58 PM  
"Hey, if the skirt can even manage to operate a pencil, we'll find something around here for her to do," said Arthur Ceritteno, who owns a mid-sized furniture retailer in the southern U.S. "I always say we're an equal opportunity employer: we'll hire blonds, brunettes, Latinos, Russian girls, whatever. Hell, if the broad - excuse me, applicant - has the assets we need around here, I'll fire somebody to make room for her if I have to. Then everybody's happy."

I thought the above comment was the funniest but then i read this. Sounds like something i'd say.
2004-04-03 03:55:26 PM  
If only I could get a hot young woman to fill out my job application...
2004-04-03 03:57:01 PM  
She might need some foodstamps though. Somebody get that broad-excuse me, young lady-a sammich. ;)
2004-04-03 04:00:43 PM  
huh, I didn't realize the department of labor tracked employment statistics this closely
2004-04-03 04:01:24 PM  
Buck up, OBB! I've gone pretty far with a Philosophy degree with a minor in Poli Sci. Not far enough, mind you, but I'm not eating peanut butter for dinner.
2004-04-03 04:01:35 PM  
I never heard of this satire site until I stumbled across this article. Pretty damn funny, so I submitted it.

Good satire has to have a kernel of truth in it, IMHO.
2004-04-03 04:04:20 PM  
I keep the employment rate up too, I always leave the ladies money after I'm done giving them one.

If only they'd solicited it, and not screamed no.

Keeps cops in work.

/Satan? Is that you?
2004-04-03 04:04:23 PM  
wait sooooo whos gonna make the food?
2004-04-03 04:17:27 PM  
I know it's satire, but when my ex-girlfriend hangs out in my store sales go trought the roof... really!
2004-04-03 04:20:05 PM  
Cat F - Unemployment index only records those that are actively seeking work. Those others are the Peggy Bundys of the world anyway. But if you are desperate, I spilled some M&Ms under the refridgerator.
2004-04-03 04:21:36 PM  
"Its funny cause its true!"
2004-04-03 04:25:58 PM  
in the city of boston for about a year and a half. consensus pick for hottest chick in the city, never heard an argument otherwise from people who've seen her. car-accident-causingly gorgeous. a year and a half i worked with her, we hung out and drank 40's in the park after work during the summer...
god DAMMIT why did i get myself fired from that job...
oh yeah, the boss was crazy
2004-04-03 04:31:09 PM  
Comment lamenting that people are still trying to rip off the Onion in 5...4...3...2...1...0....

Why are people still trying to rip off the Onion??
2004-04-03 04:34:16 PM  
So that is why I can't get a job.
2004-04-03 04:40:11 PM  

gonna have to be hotter next time
2004-04-03 04:43:20 PM  
sure I like m&ms
2004-04-03 04:45:37 PM  
2004-04-03 04:49:41 PM  
Oh is that why yesterday I was reading in the paper about high unemployment figures and today miraculously there are 308,000 new jobs.
2004-04-03 04:53:12 PM  
All those hot women on unemployment must have found jobs.
2004-04-03 04:53:28 PM  
Is it still technically satire when it's 100% correct?
2004-04-03 05:02:43 PM  
You know, appropo of nothing, all the 'hot women' in corporate america NEVER seem to work night shift. They do seem to all migrate up the ladder to our senior corporate building on a fairly regular basis tho.

I'm sure all the transfers are perfectly innocent.
2004-04-03 05:24:20 PM  

oh for standrards

i remember crashing a car once turning round to check out some girl who'd just finished work at a local supermarket

still it made her laugh

that's good

2004-04-03 05:51:00 PM  
I'd hit em
2004-04-03 06:06:29 PM  
Excuse me, but I don't think The Onion has a monopoly on satire. In fact, I don't even think The Onion is particularly funny, and am wary of people who do. I guess if you enjoy "obvious" humor (the kind that doesn't take more than a few brain cells to conjure up), you might like it.
2004-04-03 06:07:50 PM  
Gopher321, I'd promote it!
2004-04-03 06:24:31 PM  
"...the one with the big tits!"

/add your own lead in
2004-04-03 06:36:49 PM  
That's one good thing above becoming an old fart. Totally hot babes don't mean sheAT to me now. Remember kiddies, it's only sexual discrimination if it's in their favor.
2004-04-03 06:39:05 PM  
"Which of these women is most likely to be employed in the QA department?"

A. Owns 5 pagers
B. Has heard of applescript
C. Doesn't know much english
D. Likes stickies

/Tristan Farnon
2004-04-03 06:39:50 PM  
Buggers. I meant(not)in their favor. Another glib comment ruined by a typo. Old farts = bad eyesight.
2004-04-03 07:02:27 PM  
2004-04-03 07:10:10 PM  
BorgHiveMind - I don't give a flying fark.
2004-04-03 07:19:50 PM  
My friend works for a major accounting firm. Some of the women he works with would be fired in a second if they didn't have boobies, and they get a pat on the back and a bonus if they make a spreadsheet, send an e-mail, or remember the difference between a credit and a debit.

Glass ceiling my arse. It's a glass floor if you're hot and slutty.
2004-04-03 08:02:09 PM  
Definately give the hotties a bone us!
2004-04-03 08:36:51 PM  
Dude, this is a farking "The Onion" spoofpaper ripoff.
2004-04-03 09:37:21 PM  
Satire, but truth.
In a city where looks (and in all fairness, WHO IT IS YOU KNOW) matter, it's good to know that the $200,000 worth of education I have in my brain will be put to good use. Thank God I'm not "aesthetically challenged."
It's survival of the fittest.
2004-04-03 10:32:39 PM  
Ex-girlfriend? Did she give a two weeks notice?
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