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(   Apperently bin Laden not dead from cancer, kidney infection, or 8 minute long orgasm. New tape released to Al Jazeera   ( ) divider line
    More: Interesting  
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5234 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Dec 2001 at 5:15 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

104 Comments     (+0 »)

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2001-12-26 05:16:50 PM  
And who the hell can read that?
2001-12-26 05:16:51 PM  
What? A greatest hits compilation already?
2001-12-26 05:17:05 PM  
I want to die from an 8 minnute long orgasm.... please...
2001-12-26 05:18:16 PM  
8 minute orgasm? He may be the devil himself, but what a way to go!
2001-12-26 05:18:26 PM  
I'm sorry. My arabic is kinda rusty. Thanks for posting that link to an arabic site. I can see the pictures.

Thats osama. I would read the caption underneath but I can't UNDERSTAND IT!
2001-12-26 05:18:57 PM  
In that pic, he's using the same hand gesture that Bill O'Reilly does. Weird. Do you think he's watching the Factor?
2001-12-26 05:19:03 PM  
WTF? I should reconsider my liquid lunches cause that looks messed up!
2001-12-26 05:19:41 PM  
Mmmm... 8 minute long orgasm.
2001-12-26 05:19:52 PM  
You mean the Taliban lied?

Say it isn't so!
2001-12-26 05:20:17 PM  
"Apperently", someone didn't use the spell check.
2001-12-26 05:20:28 PM  
The captions say,

"Hey Bush! you couldn't bomb the broad side of a camel! You missed me again! Hah! Bush is a big poopy head!"

that was an approximate translation.
2001-12-26 05:21:09 PM  
Al Jazeera. Is Al short for Allen?
2001-12-26 05:22:14 PM  
Here is a better translation,

"Don't tailgate me or I'll flip a booger on your windshield, infidel"
2001-12-26 05:24:06 PM  
Ok, got a real translation,

"Whoever put the crazy glue on my finger, I'm going to bomb you, infidel."
2001-12-26 05:24:48 PM  
Ugh... Bin Laden is sooooo 2001.
2001-12-26 05:25:09 PM  
Alas, after searching long and hard the translation button could not be found....
2001-12-26 05:25:12 PM  
OK, someone who has the time would you please find a free online translator, turn it into English, and then make it fark-worthy using the pornolizer. Then we can all understand. Thank you.
2001-12-26 05:25:23 PM  
Well, my government translator can only get this,

"Infidel, blah blah blah,infidel blah blah blah infidel."
2001-12-26 05:29:45 PM  
?? ????? ??? ???????
I didn't get this part.....Everything else was crystal clear.
BTW don't forget to read from right to left.
2001-12-26 05:30:16 PM  
i left my proppeler beanie at home so i cant read squigley. can someone tell me where the video is?
2001-12-26 05:31:53 PM  
Translation for caption under picture..." whats the deal with airline food?"
2001-12-26 05:33:34 PM  
More info at
2001-12-26 05:38:04 PM  
I'm a little rusty, but what it basically says is:
He speaks as though very tired in the tape about how the US is trying to destroy the Muslims. Doing it in Afghanistan like it did after the Embassy bombings. Innocent civilians and all that crap. Tape not dated. Eight minute cum not lethal, but exhausing.....
2001-12-26 05:39:48 PM  
google translation:

Nouvelle poubelle vidéo Chargé : le 11 septembre attaque ' la terreur bénie boobies le boomba'
Osama la poubelle les attaques d'appels Chargées contre les Etats-Unis "ont béni la terreur"
Dans l'extrait de nouvelle déclaration enregistrée sur magnétoscope le leader Qaeda Al-accuse l'Ouest de détester l'Islam blooey bombaski FARK!
La poubelle Chargée dit que la déclaration a enregistré 3 mois après le 11 septembre
Le réseau Al-Jazeera de télévision, basé dans Qatar, dit qu'il émettra la pleine déclaration jeudi
2001-12-26 05:40:39 PM  
2001-12-26 05:42:15 PM  
How the hell am I supposed to read that??!!
It looks like a chicken walked across that web page with ink on it's feet!!
For all I know he could be hucking Preparation H. Looks like he's talking about how swollen his O-ring was or something.
Does anyone know of a translation for the tape?
2001-12-26 05:50:56 PM  
"After three months since the blessed attack that took place against the head of the snake, the United States"

What is so bad about snakes?
These backasswards arabs need to watch
the croc hunter once in a while.
2001-12-26 05:51:28 PM  
I heard on CNN that he admits to the attack on this tape. I'm beginning to think he may have done it.
2001-12-26 05:59:32 PM

Which seems to have cnn's first take on the tape.
2001-12-26 06:01:11 PM  
What attack?
2001-12-26 06:07:34 PM  
yyyyeeeeaaaahhhh......I'll take your word for it.

Hey, I wonder what will happen if I cut and paste from that site....lets see....

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2001-12-26 06:11:35 PM  
I listened to the tape and I distinctly heard him say, "All your base are belong to us."
2001-12-26 06:12:20 PM  
Man I wish these motherfarkers would get an English site as big a news source as they are overseas. You would think since they provide so much news from the middle east to the whole world they could get a farking english site!
2001-12-26 06:13:06 PM  
Roughly translated "I have sores on my johnson from packing camel fudge, twelve of my fourteen wives have left me for transvestite midget infidels from a traveling circus, my HMO has cancelled my policy without expalnation, Mohamad H. Christ I have a splitting headache from all the damn fireworks, and to top it off something is interfering with my satelite porno reception"
2001-12-26 06:15:17 PM  
More from the BBC site.​740.stm

"Terrorism against America deserves to be praised because it was a response to injustice, aimed at forcing America to stop its support for Israel, which kills our people," he said."

Bah. Just more of the same crap from him. YAWN!
I think we can stop the military campaign to find him now.
Judging from those pictures in the video, he's not long for this world anyway. Whatever's been eating away at his body....and probably his brain as well, is down to the last stages anyway.
2001-12-26 06:25:15 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
Translation: (Singing) "Well, they'll stone you when you're trying to be so good
They'll stone you just like they said they would
They'll stone you when you're trying to go home
Then they'll stone you when you're there all alone
But I would not feel so all alone
Everybody must get stoned..."
2001-12-26 06:26:42 PM  
translation minus pictures
Bin Ladin : the attacks against america is a praiseworthy terrorism he aims at her incitement to the retraction about israel support that kills our sons
AlQaeda leader talks about villages exterminated and mosques was destroyed uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
An American speaker doubts the band timing ¡ he accuses Bin Ladin of the Palestinian case exploitation attempt as exploited the islam from before uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

AlQaeda organism leader Ossama Bin Ladin said that he was still alive gives and any against what he named the disbelief head america attacks is a praiseworthy terrorism ¡ and he said in a tape that AlJazeera transmitted him at night wednesday the American bombardment proves to be true america grudge on the Muslim ¡ the band confirms that Bin Ladin was alive even before two weeks and refutes the predictions that talked about his murder .

Of what he came in the registered band " after lapse three months appeals to that we talk about some of these events indications . These events clarified many matters very the importance ¡ have was clear by a clearness that the west countries an all at her head america joins from the crusader grudge on the islam what no describes " .

And continued a saying " then and how many villages exterminated except a sin ¡ and how much and quantity if counted today the tents in pakistan put up them no sin to them .. Suspicion mere then america waged this fierce war .. We have seen here their true delinquency " .

And AlQaeda organism leader added " a pollen the American minister of defense and said this from our right .. From their right that they exterminate the nations . Before days they were hit as claimed Sites to the rule in a Khost ¡ they attacked the mosque and the Muslim one in the prayer .. This is the true grudge .. Our terrorism of a praiseworthy terrorism we to the injustice protection " .

Edward and a den
Washington doubts
From his side doubt official American is previous in to is the band fixes that AlQaeda leader who the anticipations by his murder in the violent American bombardment to Torh mountains increased an alive made barren him gives ¡ and an assistant said that the previous American foreign minister is an Ado ard and a den the band do not prove that Bin Ladin was still alive ¡ and accused Bin Ladin by a trier the Palestinian case exploitation as exploited the islam a previous on the limit of his expression ¡ as/also he charged with him the destruction responsibility that befell in afghanistan .

The search about him was still current
Meanwhile and the American special forces seated the scope of her operations in the eastern mountains of afghanistan near a Torh that made barren him ¡ in him washington in a time declared that the military operations will not stop so long as the finding on Ossama Bin Ladin and Muhammad Omar did not complete .

I have make for American special forces are after she finished the celebration by the christmas ¡ he by the company of Afghan forces to Torh area made barren him ¡ in a new movement a search about AlQaeda combatants and Talban who Washington still believing that they is in that area humiliation the news of their escape to a non known side .

An American soldier back his machine gun and other gets ready he clears his weapon in their trench approach of the airport of the international Kandahar in southerner afghanistan
And she may is met iæCi 500 from walker soldiers the American the navy is orders by the readiness to the execution by inspection operations in the caves a search about proofs about Bin Ladin 's place . And the American military officials say the target from the concentrated search in a Torh he made barren him the certainty that this area became not a refuge to who a naming them by the terrorists .

And the journalistic prevention from the arrival to new Sites . And groups from the special forces centralised in a doctrine near from the village an Agham is on the white mountain foot away 30 he spoke to Galalabad south .

And the groups of the American special forces do the caves inspection that was representing the secret AlQaeda to AlQaeda organization . And she was still searching for any indicators that may guide her on Ossama Bin Ladin or on the more likely on his body in the state of his murder during the bombardment .

And said spokesman in the name of the American alliance against what names the terrorism is Knton Kit the air alliance operations and the terrestrial one that penetrate by together with the local Afghan forces will keep in touch until the finding on Bin Ladin and Al-Mulla Amr completes . And a Kit during a press conference in an Islam Abad added that the American forces achieved a reasonable progress and but she will continue the action until she finds Bin Ladin .

Afghans combatants observe the explosions resultant about the American bombardment to AlQaeda organization in a Torh he made barren him ( an archives )
And a Kit once more did not consider faraway that AlQaeda leader killed during the violent bombardment that did by him the American flight on Torh area made barren him in east afghanistan .

By regarding Al-Mulla Amr the American speaker has preferred that he may be in the surrounding mountains by his previous fort in Kandahar . And a Kit declared that the allied forces and the new Afghan provisional government forces were still searching also about other elements from AlQaeda leaderships and Talban regime . And said that he is in what concerns orphanhood AlQaeda the search about all who got involved in what named him the terrorism . And added that the elements of other Talban from the nearest levels are not to them a great importance .

However a Kit did not manage details donation round the judicial proceedings an attribution to the suspended persons . And the United states declared that she wants Bin Ladin 's receipt and all Talban leaderships or AlQaeda who their stop completes in afghanistan or pakistan .

And he was the temporary Afghan prime minister Hamed Krzay that may declare last Sunday that he is ready to Bin Ladin 's delivery to the United states or any international court . And but he said that Al-Mulla Amr 's situation is included within the framework of a national .

An American soldier is on an armor-clad
He looks to explosion site near his camp
In the international airport of Kandahar
Resister pockets
In in this context declared the Afghan foreign minister Abd Allah Abd Allah that he was still there are enclaves resister to AlQaeda organization in southerner afghanistan . And indicated in a press conference by a cable that some AlQaeda combatants were still becoming immune by an especially in the state a Bktia . And added that AlQaeda combatants were still becoming active also in the surroundings of the city of the previous fort Kandahar a Ltalban .

On another level the Afghan foreign minister declared that the international peace-keeping forces will arrive at afghanistan during days to her missions 's practice start by britain leadership . And Abd Allah confirmed that big numbers from these forces will arrive during days to the start of the missions of the protection of the security within the framework of the courses of distance agreement to the authority distribution . And clarified that he now discussions between the provisional government and the British leadership to these forces regarding the final details to the strength size and the range of her spread in the Afghan lands happens .

Surrender negotiations
Meanwhile he said that a delegated is AlJazeera to Kandahar cited from trusted source , the local governments in the states of Whlmnd Kandahar began negotiations with officials from The Taliban in the area of the Baghran of Hlmnd north , regarding a surrender towards 500 from the fortified movement members in Baghran mountains .

And added the sources to a delegated are AlJazeera that Kandahar authorities are the Whlmnd of the negotiation of the officials of The Taliban an on the delivery of their weapons facing is the guarantee of their safety and trial trial fair . And she was news that have informed that found AlMulla Mohamed Omar Talban leader of movement is now in Baghran mountains ¡ and that the American forces attend to a wide attack on the attack example on Sites in a Torh he made barren him if what these negotiations were ãäiÊ by the failure .

Hamed Kirzai
The Afghan government
At the political level the Afghan government met with Hamed Krzay 's presidency wednesday to once the second since her undertaking the authority in Kabul is for the sake of the security repetition and the unity in the countries that the wars scattered during 23 year .

And the meeting dealt with Afghan regular army formation efforts that after a Krzay from the ministry of defence requested the start by regular army formation contains tens thousands of the warrior from the all of the Afghan squads . The leader Mohammad Ata to the French news agency declared that the recruitment will complete on a voluntary basis and he is not on the basis of the habitual conscription . He indicated the increasing support to army principle independent about any political influence and he will not be to him by his function an influence on the government level . And warned that the countries are by variation that will not gain a civilian and democratic government .
2001-12-26 06:33:19 PM  
Kudos to whoever knows how to read that
2001-12-26 06:34:53 PM  
Go to

Sign up for free account then go to and the complete webpage will be translated to english
2001-12-26 06:37:25 PM  
Thats what I did. The above text is what you get
2001-12-26 06:39:28 PM  
Make sure you click on "English Site"
2001-12-26 06:43:18 PM  
I've got a feeling Eihander sells bandwith to Drew
2001-12-26 06:48:06 PM  
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2001-12-26 06:55:56 PM  
So how long before someone takes the screen name "8 Minute Orgasm"?
2001-12-26 07:07:09 PM  
Soldier 1: What did they say?
Soldier 2: Look, I washed for supper!

(a la Saving Private Ryan)
2001-12-26 07:11:33 PM  
How credible is Al Jazeera? Personally I would believe The Enquirer before I would believe them. Besides, he is dead... he may just not know it yet... but he is dead.
2001-12-26 07:22:28 PM  
In that pic, he's using the same hand gesture that Bill O'Reilly does. Weird.

You know, now that you mention it, have you noticed that you never see O'Reilly and Bin Laden in the same room together?

2001-12-26 07:24:00 PM  
"So then I sez to Bush, I sez, 'Oh yeah? You and what army?', and he sez 'This one' and I'm all 'Woah! Dude!' and here we are. Sucks to be me."
2001-12-26 07:26:23 PM  
"How credible is Al Jazeera?"

They seem to be pretty credible. I don't think anyone has claimed they are a biased source (any more than any other network is), they appear to try to show both sides of the issue. I'm not aware of them actually declaring support for either the US or Usama.

They're the only real open network in the mid east, tho', which many different countries' viewers can get access to, and which isn't a mouthpiece for any one regime. Which is why Usama likes to use them for his crap, he knows more Muslims will see it that way.
2001-12-26 07:27:23 PM  
He does look pretty sick in that clip.
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