FARK.com: (891912) Inquiry into abuse of Stephen Hawking dropped

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		Inquiry into abuse of Stephen Hawking dropped (ap.tbo.com)		61
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8707 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Mar 2004 at 5:52 PM | Favorite | share:

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ChewbaccaJones		2004-03-29 12:18:06 PM

Hawking: "(bzzt)...I....like...roughsex...(bzzt)"
jury: "EEeeeewwwwwww"
judge: "Next case"

punkennedys		2004-03-29 12:34:32 PM

i swear i've got the coolest headline ever for when this guy dies.

mrCasual		2004-03-29 01:01:24 PM

No evidence? That's because someone disabled the "Help Me" key on his Speak-N-Spell.

TheOther		2004-03-29 01:20:05 PM

I...have...been...naughty...Mommy.
-SJH

misthop		2004-03-29 01:46:16 PM

<computer voice>
I'd hit it
</computer voice>

/had too

SockMonkeyHolocaust		2004-03-29 03:07:38 PM

When we are done here, why don't you send your wife over for a litlle boom-shaka-laka, boom-shaka-laka, boom-shaka-laka, boom.

/Family Guy

mishratron		2004-03-29 05:56:54 PM

what a freak .....

// double entendre ? perhaps....

rickythepenguin		2004-03-29 05:57:49 PM

When reached for comment, Hawking quipped myahmyahmyhammyah....myahmyahmyhahmyah. Myah, myahmyahmyah; myah, myahmyahmymahmyahmyah. Myahmyahmyha. myah. myahmyha!

/i hate myself

Overbid		2004-03-29 05:59:14 PM

I honestly find the guy attractive. I've never really cared how the package looked; I go more for brains. I'd hit it in 3...2...1....But I would hit it very gently so as not to hurt him or cause speculation of abuse.

TrouserSnakeandLarry		2004-03-29 05:59:17 PM

'Yeah we beat him some, ya know, slap him around a little. But he keeps shiatting his best suits and he wont stop running over the goddamned cat."

TPerrin		2004-03-29 06:00:22 PM

mrCasual

is it bad that I can't stop laughing at that?

JethroQWalrustitty		2004-03-29 06:00:45 PM

Damn! This promised to be so scintillating and, well, HOT!

Grapple		2004-03-29 06:01:50 PM

Did he use that classic excuse of "I tripped and fell down some stairs?"

TrouserSnakeandLarry		2004-03-29 06:02:18 PM

Final lap and Stephen Hawking is holding a low line...Christopher Reeve is attempting to pass....they are neck and neck...John Hockenberry is closing the gap....and it's Hawking with the win!!!

/Ironsides International Speedway

Eagan469		2004-03-29 06:03:02 PM

Mavis Beacon says...

You typed too slow beeyatch!

PhroG_XIX		2004-03-29 06:03:16 PM

"He started it! I swear!! He's got a boxing glove hidden in the chair! Damn you cyborg!! DAMN YOU!!!"

mryoop789		2004-03-29 06:04:34 PM

"here I am using my legs like a sucker!"

the oob		2004-03-29 06:04:35 PM

We almost have a 'celebrity domestic abuse' trifecta here.

21-7-b		2004-03-29 06:06:29 PM

while everybody takes a different route through life and nobody knows how much each person enjoys life or struggles, i find him to be one of the very few truly inspiring indivuals in the world today

RedCelticFlame		2004-03-29 06:10:03 PM

Anyone who would abuse someone in a wheelchair deserves to have laxatives put in their drinks.

Point02GPA		2004-03-29 06:11:14 PM

2004-03-29 05:59:14 PM Overbid~ Dr. Stranglove indeed!

diskop		2004-03-29 06:18:06 PM

I call it the Hawking hole.

/futurama

Lenny_da_Hog		2004-03-29 06:20:29 PM

Isn't this... like, severe deja vu going on here?

I could have sworn that both the accusation and dropping of charges both happened months ago...

/Age-induced dimensia. My anti-drug.

Brewski_OR		2004-03-29 06:21:11 PM

This is the "Ticket to Hell" thread for today.
All who post here go first class.

/just posting cause I want to go along. Hell is gonna be a riot compared to Heaven.

vjp		2004-03-29 06:22:22 PM

Slap me around NOW, biatch!!!

PhroG_XIX		2004-03-29 06:24:10 PM

RedCelticFlame: Abuse someone in a wheelchair by putting laxatives in their drink.... hmmm... sounds promising to me, you might be on to something...

*adds to his to-do list*

/selective hearing

Point02GPA		2004-03-29 06:26:19 PM

If Mr. Steven Hawking is so bright why doesn't he find this Lou guy and give him back that disease?

/Window seat please.

farquah		2004-03-29 06:26:47 PM

He was asking for it.

Overbid		2004-03-29 06:29:39 PM

Point02GPA~
flouride...

Dr. Hawking is bright and sexy, but the best evar was Richard Feynman. I am getting wet just thinking about him...
/off to diddle

Brewski_OR		2004-03-29 06:30:30 PM

....and it was for his own good.

winterlongone		2004-03-29 06:32:05 PM

***bzzz
"i...don't...know...what...did...the...five...fingers...say...to...the...hand. .."
***bzzz

evilcounsel		2004-03-29 06:32:10 PM

"I'm not saying theres no God, it's not for me to say,
I'm just saying the world was not made in a day."

fark the creationists-da da da da DOW!

diskop		2004-03-29 06:33:24 PM

winterlongone

That would have been great but it's face not hand. :(

mrCasual		2004-03-29 06:34:13 PM

winterlongone Damn, you were so close to typing that correctly (still funny, though!)

winterlongone		2004-03-29 06:36:36 PM

there's a special circle in hell for those that cannot even remember comedy brilliance correctly....

/all hail dave chappelle

susansto-helit		2004-03-29 06:41:28 PM

"Yes. You suck. I rule. Who da man? Who da man? Who da man?"

/even more Family Guy

LeroyB		2004-03-29 07:28:33 PM

Mysterious cuts and bruises?

It's all that time travelling he's doing!

Point02GPA		2004-03-29 07:31:50 PM

Overbid~ Not the English thing...your bio.

/ A lot of people say Richard rocked big time. Happy Diddling.

QbasicSucks		2004-03-29 07:41:54 PM

<img src=http://www.jeff-swanson.com/archive/2003/images/studio_1.jpg

Getting slapped up by his ho? Dat don't sound like the Hawkman.

www.mchawking.com

darth_shatner		2004-03-29 07:45:06 PM

All those bruises and Hawking still insists that he "just walked into the event horizon of a black hole"

iamscotto		2004-03-29 07:47:20 PM

What I want to know is why it's Hawking's wife making all the allegations. I mean, why doesn't he just stand up and speak for himself already?

TGIFgrl		2004-03-29 07:53:00 PM

winterlongone You bastard! I'm convulsing at my desk.

bravo bravo!

SonOfSpam		2004-03-29 08:33:40 PM

I'm.....in.....a.....frenzy....!

/Screamin' Stephen J. Hawkings

darth_shatner		2004-03-29 08:37:13 PM

My name is Hawking.
I live on the second floor....

Chipper2		2004-03-29 08:43:14 PM

SonOfSpam
Oh! Oh! Oh! She put the whammee on me

Good one!

Calvin Hobbes		2004-03-29 08:52:38 PM

darth_shatner

Not bad... not bad at all...

kteela		2004-03-29 09:08:33 PM

again?

sigh.

ThatDevGuy		2004-03-29 09:15:38 PM

evilcounsel

That's, you know, relevant.

"Even if there is only one possible unified theory, it is just a set of rules and equations. What is it that breathes fire into the equations and makes a universe for them to describe? The usual approach of science of constructing a mathematical model cannot answer the questions of why there should be a universe for the model to describe. Why does the universe go to all the bother of existing?"

JBalkwill		2004-03-29 09:17:57 PM

It's so obvious Hawkings tripped and fell into a doorknob.

Rashind		2004-03-29 09:19:37 PM

Nobody is beating Stephen Hawking, because the Mighty Stephen Hawking is Crazy as F*ck! If that biatch laid a finger on him he'd give her a Newtonian demonstration of a bullet, its mass, and its acceleration! All his shootings be drive-bys.

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