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(AP)   Guy from New Jersey becomes a cyborg   ( divider line
    More: Spiffy  
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5509 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Dec 2001 at 6:24 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

36 Comments     (+0 »)
2001-12-23 06:28:31 PM  
2001-12-23 06:30:15 PM  
Come on man, this was only 2 FARKING DAYS AGO!!!
2001-12-23 06:31:37 PM  
I'm not even sure what the purpose of this experiment is. This chip doesn't interact with the body in any way, so he might as well be carrying it in his pocket.
2001-12-23 06:32:35 PM  
I could tell you about 2 cyborgs from the Carolinas.
Their names are Jesse and Strom.
2001-12-23 06:34:44 PM  
Later that week, the new cyborg decided to get plastic surgery to look like his hear Jean Claude.
2001-12-23 06:35:04 PM  
The direct union of man and computer is no longer dismissed out of hand.

ummm yeah. How many articles have we seen lately about how farked up MS Windows XP is? Our bodies were not designed by humans and that's why they work so well. Computers crash. I think I can safely dismiss putting a computer in my farking body any time soon. They truly are less reliable than me. And that's saying something.
2001-12-23 06:35:14 PM  
hear should have been hero...i can't %%$@@!#@ type today.
2001-12-23 06:38:57 PM  
Misleading title, I was hoping to see Robocop or something.
2001-12-23 06:39:33 PM  
so farking what? It's 2 little memory chips under his
skin. Calm down people!

If you want to see a real cyborg, tho...
You've all seen CATS, I'm sure
2001-12-23 06:41:12 PM  
This dude isn't a cyborg. They use the same kind of ID system with pets. So when the article says he "turn[ed] himself into a human guinea pig", they really do mean that.
2001-12-23 06:45:07 PM  
We are the Borg.

[image from too old to be available]

Resistance is futile.
2001-12-23 06:46:04 PM  
And in Future News:

Man who put chips in himself dies from silicon reaction. Last word was "Crap."
2001-12-23 06:51:47 PM  
Note it was in Jersey. The reason why most New Yorkers are pissed off is because the light at the end of the tunnel is Newark.
2001-12-23 07:05:50 PM  
ID chips? Can't wait till the Fundies catch wind of it!
2001-12-23 07:16:10 PM  
Isn't this the guy the folks at Wired keep taking the mickey out of?
2001-12-23 07:30:21 PM  
Why did he put a breath mint in his arm?
2001-12-23 07:54:47 PM  
yaaaaay spiffy! this is so goddamned spiffy! I can't wait to have a spiffy chip embedded under my skin so I am identified to every spiffy device in a spiffy meter raidus! I also love pop-up ads and spam and junk mail because they're spiffy and I think a spiffy implant would just make it so spiffy for those marketers to identify my purchasing habits! spiffy spiffy spiffy spiffy!

You don't even have to be an anti-government paranoid to realize that this is a dim farking move. Being able to instantaneously identify any person who passes within a meter radius of a networked reader makes slimy marketing types beat off ferociously. Plus being able to track any 'skeptics' is the wet dream of Popo Bawa, the sodomizing ghost of Zanzibar.
2001-12-23 08:38:39 PM  
Ever see that Earthlink commercial where a guy walks down the street and everybody greets him with spot-on personal information? You don't have to be a Fundie to see the problems here... Plus, with the advent of chips, instead of just ticketing the owner of a speeding car by mail, authorities can ticket all of it occupants for abetting as well...

None for be thanks.
2001-12-23 09:16:35 PM  
Oh this could be also fun too. Tie it into the nervous system somehow and use it to trigger pain. Now all your wife/girlfriend or husband/boyfriend has to do to get you to behave is press the garage door opener. Bzzz

Incidently, how the fark do you power this thing? The article says it can be scanned 4 ft away with radio transmitters. Does it feed electricity off the body to power it's internal transmitters?
2001-12-23 09:22:47 PM  
Does this mean the "blue screen of death" will now be taken literally?

P.S. LordWatson It took a few billion years to engineer the human body, and it still has imperfections.
2001-12-23 09:26:53 PM  
Recovery1: I don't know exactly how it's powered, but I know there are security cards that can be swiped near a sensor to unlock a door. They don't need batteries and they don't need direct physical contact; the presence of a particular energy field will activate them for reading. I suspect this system works in the same fashion.
2001-12-23 09:52:44 PM  
Recovery1, Ben_r:

It gets a tad technical, but it's easy to follow and there's plenty of links:​s_primer .htm
2001-12-23 09:55:51 PM  
Erp, sorry...stoopid html:​s_primer .htm
2001-12-23 09:56:32 PM  
Ahhh, fark it. Can you believe I'm a computer scientist? Sheesh.
2001-12-23 10:00:16 PM  
Frank: Don't sweat it; I think it's a filter to split up lines so the browser doesn't stretch off too far to the right.

Thanks for the information.
2001-12-23 10:10:11 PM  
What is happening is the wand that the guy has sends out a RF signal. This powers the ID chip and triggers it to send out its info. This is the same way that those security cards work (the ones without the magnetic stripe).
2001-12-23 10:21:17 PM  
I want to become a cyborg.
2001-12-23 10:28:15 PM  
Ben_r Sweet, my ego is restored! And no problem...
2001-12-24 12:05:55 AM  
Read the article, people... the chips were implanted in his body to test if they were viable for testing pacemakers and the like, not for human identification. No freedom-loving American would go for that, Fundie or not.

I presume, OrphanedWombat, that the chips were embedded in his skin to ensure that the radio transmissions were strong enough to make it out of the body. Water (and blood, too) tends to impede radio waves. Therefore, if they were in his pocket, it would not test the chips properly.
2001-12-24 12:17:25 AM  
SavMan, I suspect that since similar implants are routinely being implanted into livestock and pets, the basic way in which they work is well understood.
2001-12-24 12:44:37 AM  
This guy is no more a cyborg than an old lady with a hip replacement. In fact, he's less of one, since these chips don't really do diddly-shiat with his body. If I swallow some speaker wire, am I a car stereo system?
2001-12-24 12:45:16 AM  
Nifty. Thx guys.
2001-12-24 02:14:23 AM  
Was I the only one waiting to hear the nifty sound effects from the "Six Million Dollar Man"? Or was it the bionic man? Whatever, you know what I'm talking about. "We have the technology."
2001-12-24 09:12:32 AM  
When I was a kid I used to tape my drivers license and credit card to my leg and pin a handcuff key inside the back of my pants when I went out for a night of wilding. Ah the good ol' days. Kids have it so easy now.
2001-12-24 11:22:09 AM  
Valkhorn stole it from me!

"Lower your shields and surrender your ships. Your culture will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile."

Heheh, not if you're on the Enterprise it's not!
2001-12-24 01:49:35 PM  
Dear Jebus! It's the end times. Read Revelations, it's the mark of the beast, just like in the Omega Code!

I expect some idiot to be screaming the above words from the amphitheater at my old university in no time.

If this turns into a bonafide identity system, I'd be more concerned about someone cloning my chip, just like with the old analog cell-phones. Then I'd end up in prison dancing with some guy named Bubba for a crime committed by the one armed man.
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