Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Chicago Trib)   The quickest way to ensure a prospective employer rescinds your job offer is by sending naked selfies to the company's HR manager   (chicagotribune.com) divider line
    More: Fail, job applicants, Elmhurst Police Chief Michael Ruth, St. Charles, gainful employment, Elmhurst  
•       •       •

9293 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Aug 2015 at 11:00 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



91 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2015-08-31 08:24:43 PM  
Subby just confused a lot of porn actors.
 
2015-08-31 08:29:50 PM  
Yah, those have to go directly to the boss.  HR managers have to report that shiat.
 
2015-08-31 09:12:04 PM  
I cleared my cookies like I was told to last time and I still can't read articles from Chicago Tribune
 
2015-08-31 09:14:02 PM  
Sometimes, when I'm half in the bag,
I send naked selfies to HR managers of companies I haven't even applied to.
 
2015-08-31 09:33:07 PM  

bearded clamorer: Sometimes, when I'm half in the bag,
I send naked selfies to HR managers of companies I haven't even applied to.


I'm sure that gives them a good laugh.
 
2015-08-31 09:42:39 PM  
So what was the position?
 
2015-08-31 09:42:41 PM  
Link is farked.
 
2015-08-31 09:48:01 PM  

ransack.: I cleared my cookies like I was told to last time and I still can't read articles from Chicago Tribune


Did you scroll down and click on "not right now"?

Also, clear cache and resrart.

/ works fine for me
 
2015-08-31 09:55:13 PM  

bearded clamorer: Sometimes, when I'm half in the bag,
I send naked selfies to HR managers of companies I haven't even applied to.


I send them to HR managers at companies I USED to work for

/probably recognize me from the photocopier
 
2015-08-31 09:55:46 PM  

fusillade762: So what was the position?


Reverse Cowgirl
 
2015-08-31 10:48:13 PM  

lindalouwho: ransack.: I cleared my cookies like I was told to last time and I still can't read articles from Chicago Tribune

Did you scroll down and click on "not right now"?

Also, clear cache and resrart.

/ works fine for me


When I click not right now, it takes me to their home page instead of the article
 
2015-08-31 11:04:08 PM  

ransack.: lindalouwho: ransack.: I cleared my cookies like I was told to last time and I still can't read articles from Chicago Tribune

Did you scroll down and click on "not right now"?

Also, clear cache and resrart.

/ works fine for me

When I click not right now, it takes me to their home page instead of the article


Here's another link.

I can safely say that in all my years of HR, I never received naked selfies. Thank God.
 
2015-08-31 11:05:08 PM  
Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?
 
2015-08-31 11:05:38 PM  

ransack.: I cleared my cookies like I was told to last time and I still can't read articles from Chicago Tribune


Why would you?
 
2015-08-31 11:06:07 PM  
Damn, I had that job until they saw the angle of my dangle.
 
2015-08-31 11:07:53 PM  
iconsoffright.comView Full Size
 
2015-08-31 11:08:37 PM  

ransack.: I cleared my cookies like I was told to last time and I still can't read articles from Chicago Tribune


It just takes me to the home page on the mobile site.
 
2015-08-31 11:08:38 PM  
What would have been even funnier is if the HR manager didn't say anything, and when he started she started seriously flirting with him and he had no clue what led to her sudden interest.
 
2015-08-31 11:08:54 PM  
What? THOSE WERE CONFIDENTIAL
 
2015-08-31 11:09:59 PM  

The English Major: ransack.: lindalouwho: ransack.: I cleared my cookies like I was told to last time and I still can't read articles from Chicago Tribune

Did you scroll down and click on "not right now"?

Also, clear cache and resrart.

/ works fine for me

When I click not right now, it takes me to their home page instead of the article

Here's another link.

I can safely say that in all my years of HR, I never received naked selfies. Thank God.


What's your phone number?
 
2015-08-31 11:10:29 PM  
I have a nude selfie in the header on my resume, totally saves the extra step of sending it after the fact.
 
2015-08-31 11:11:40 PM  
Huh, when I do that I always get the job.  I guess it's true you've got to go with your strengths.

Of course, proper lighting and camera angle can enhance your assets a lot.
 
2015-08-31 11:12:13 PM  
Well, they asked to see my qualifications,
 
2015-08-31 11:15:24 PM  
What if the job you're applying for is "Naked Selfie Sender"?
 
2015-08-31 11:16:09 PM  
"So who didn't we send a picture to?"
"Lambda-Lambda-Lambda"
 
2015-08-31 11:16:14 PM  
They asked me for collateral and I pulled down my pants...
 
2015-08-31 11:17:45 PM  
Sent a couple naked selfies to my HR manager/supervisor. Of course, I was sleeping with him at the time...
 
2015-08-31 11:18:27 PM  

bglove25: They asked me for collateral and I pulled down my pants...


was waiting for the Dylan reference
 
2015-08-31 11:19:30 PM  
Mobile fail. Goddamn so many people suck at programming.
 
2015-08-31 11:21:01 PM  
It seems odd that a prospective employee would already have the cell number of the HR person. I just assumed for interviewees they would only have the internal office numbers, not a cell number.
 
2015-08-31 11:25:36 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: bearded clamorer: Sometimes, when I'm half in the bag,
I send naked selfies to HR managers of companies I haven't even applied to.

I send them to HR managers at companies I USED to work for

/probably recognize me from the photocopier


Is that when they have flashbacks and start connecting all the dots?
The photocopies...those headless shots from the Xmas party...the scribbles in the bathroom...
 
2015-08-31 11:27:18 PM  
...and here I thought it was to take a dump on the boss' desk after your first lunch break.

Guess I have to review my methods and procedures.

In fairness, I once had to fire a dishwasher, literally 15 minutes into his first shift.

I had just gotten his paperwork, and sent him off to touch base with the other dishwasher who was going to train him. I realized he had left a chunk of his I-9 blank, and went back upstairs to find him, and Jake, the trainer said that he'd sent him out back for a smoke while he got everything together for him, and was going to take him through the opening procedures. So, I went out back to find him, and I did.

He was taking a long toke off a fairly small joint.

Our eyes. Locked. I sort of rolled my eyes in the universal boss sign of "Are you sh*tting me."

He kept his eyes on mine, and continued to take in a long drag. And then he held it, and said, "Uh...are we not supposed to...uh...smoke?"

"Not in the first 15 minutes of a shift, and especially not on your first day. And not in front of your brand new manager" I replied.

"So, am I like...fired?"

"No. You're not even hired since none of the paperwork is filled out. Bye." And I closed the door and locked it behind me.

I have always given him credit for having the chutzpah to not even hide it, and to take that last, long hit, because if you KNOW that you've just boned yourself out of a paying gig, the least you can do is own it. And he did. I'll always give him that.
 
2015-08-31 11:32:25 PM  

skinink: It seems odd that a prospective employee would already have the cell number of the HR person. I just assumed for interviewees they would only have the internal office numbers, not a cell number.


That was strange.

I think there's more to this story, like he sort of hit off with the cute HR drone, suggested they maybe spend a little time together outside of the workplace (a cup of coffee, lunch, maybe a movie - no big whoop), gets her number then BOOM! Wang Pic.
 
2015-08-31 11:33:17 PM  
MRA here. Once again, sexism rears its ugly head. If it was a woman who sent naked pics to HR, everybody would be praising her "independent confidence" and bashing the company for being sexist. But a man does it and everyone is horrified. I bet this guy was a nice guy too, who simply made a mistake, but do women want to date a nice guy? No of course not, they want the alpha bro douche type. Well we men aren't going to take it anymore!! Take the red pill, guys!!
 
2015-08-31 11:34:30 PM  

Arkanaut: What? THOSE WERE CONFIDENTIAL


Would photos of junk count as PII if they didn't include the face?
 
2015-08-31 11:38:05 PM  
Unless you're female. And hot.

And the HR manager is male. And stupid. (Or knows he's going to die before you can get a case in front of the courts.)
 
2015-08-31 11:42:47 PM  

ongbok: What would have been even funnier is if the HR manager didn't say anything, and when he started she started seriously flirting with him and he had no clue what led to her sudden interest.


Funniest would be if she used the photo for his ID.
 
2015-08-31 11:43:36 PM  

Resident Muslim: MaudlinMutantMollusk: bearded clamorer: Sometimes, when I'm half in the bag,
I send naked selfies to HR managers of companies I haven't even applied to.

I send them to HR managers at companies I USED to work for

/probably recognize me from the photocopier

Is that when they have flashbacks and start connecting all the dots?
The photocopies...those headless shots from the Xmas party...the scribbles in the bathroom...


Do... do I know you?
 
2015-08-31 11:44:58 PM  

hubiestubert: ...and here I thought it was to take a dump on the boss' desk after your first lunch break.

Guess I have to review my methods and procedures.

In fairness, I once had to fire a dishwasher, literally 15 minutes into his first shift.

I had just gotten his paperwork, and sent him off to touch base with the other dishwasher who was going to train him. I realized he had left a chunk of his I-9 blank, and went back upstairs to find him, and Jake, the trainer said that he'd sent him out back for a smoke while he got everything together for him, and was going to take him through the opening procedures. So, I went out back to find him, and I did.

He was taking a long toke off a fairly small joint.

Our eyes. Locked. I sort of rolled my eyes in the universal boss sign of "Are you sh*tting me."

He kept his eyes on mine, and continued to take in a long drag. And then he held it, and said, "Uh...are we not supposed to...uh...smoke?"

"Not in the first 15 minutes of a shift, and especially not on your first day. And not in front of your brand new manager" I replied.

"So, am I like...fired?"

"No. You're not even hired since none of the paperwork is filled out. Bye." And I closed the door and locked it behind me.

I have always given him credit for having the chutzpah to not even hide it, and to take that last, long hit, because if you KNOW that you've just boned yourself out of a paying gig, the least you can do is own it. And he did. I'll always give him that.


With every story you tell, I miss working in a kitchen more and more. Gonna have to ignore you eventually. Someday, maybe. aww fark it.
 
2015-08-31 11:47:55 PM  

ransack.: lindalouwho: ransack.: I cleared my cookies like I was told to last time and I still can't read articles from Chicago Tribune

Did you scroll down and click on "not right now"?

Also, clear cache and resrart.

/ works fine for me

When I click not right now, it takes me to their home page instead of the article


You have to delete System32 to get the website to work.
 
2015-08-31 11:51:12 PM  
I immediately thought (dreamed) it was a woman.

Gross either way.
 
2015-08-31 11:52:38 PM  

davidphogan: ransack.: I cleared my cookies like I was told to last time and I still can't read articles from Chicago Tribune

It just takes me to the home page on the mobile site.


Huh. Using an android, works.
I do get screwed up on mobile sites every once in a while, though. Guess it depends on the phone but it shouldn't.
 
2015-08-31 11:56:03 PM  

ransack.: I cleared my cookies like I was told to last time and I still can't read articles from Chicago Tribune


media-cache-ec0.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2015-08-31 11:56:38 PM  
Damn kids and your new fangled technology.

When my dad interviewed new a secretary, he told them to hike up their skirt, sit on a copy machine, make a copy and use the picture as their fax cover letter.

Ah, the good ole days.
 
2015-08-31 11:59:05 PM  
replygif.netView Full Size


The Neg
"At this point, it is inevitable that she will seek out the Hot Assistant HR Manager (the one you're attracted to) and apprise her of this abhorrent turn of events.  Hot Assistant HR Manager
 will then offer her friend the crone HR Manager requisite sympathy even as part of her cannot help but feel stung by her exclusion in the unusual texting."

"A few days go by and a follow up call regarding the interview is placed at a time when Hot Assistant HR Manager is known to be at work.
Once the initial awkwardness is relieved with a little playful humor, which she of course cannot resist, an invitation to a friendly dinner is proffered."
 
2015-08-31 11:59:42 PM  
images.beautyworldnews.comView Full Size
 
2015-09-01 12:00:49 AM  
rebelyell2006: 
You have to delete System32 to get the website to work.

Thank you...that totally did it.   For some reason now my browser on my laptop won't work anymore, but at least that forced me to RTFA on my phone.

You are a lifesaver.    Thanks again!
 
2015-09-01 12:03:06 AM  

fusillade762: So what was the position?


Downward Dog
 
2015-09-01 12:10:29 AM  
Dude should go and run for Congress.
 
2015-09-01 12:17:25 AM  
so is the job still available because I have some pics I've been saving?
 
Displayed 50 of 91 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter




In Other Media
Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report