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(Metro)   New condom packaging matches customers to a particular fruit or veg, suggests you take a leek first   (metro.co.uk) divider line
    More: Strange, zucchini  
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5335 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Aug 2015 at 9:05 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



54 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2015-08-31 07:19:37 PM  
No eggplant? That most closely matches my size and color.
 
2015-08-31 07:27:56 PM  
Sad Ugli Fruit joke.
 
2015-08-31 07:36:57 PM  
Do the Brits have a different vegetable in mind when they say "turnip"?

I've been with lots of various dong sizes, but I'm having a lot of trouble visualizing a turnip dick.
 
2015-08-31 08:39:20 PM  
cl.jroo.meView Full Size
 
2015-08-31 09:00:39 PM  
pbs.twimg.comView Full Size
 
2015-08-31 09:07:24 PM  
I got Fig.
 
2015-08-31 09:10:16 PM  

criscodisco: Do the Brits have a different vegetable in mind when they say "turnip"?

I've been with lots of various dong sizes, but I'm having a lot of trouble visualizing a turnip dick.


warosu.orgView Full Size
 
2015-08-31 09:10:42 PM  
I need something shaped similarly to a tennis ball can.
 
2015-08-31 09:12:55 PM  

scottydoesntknow: [cl.jroo.me image 360x360]


You've got this, girl.
 
2015-08-31 09:16:22 PM  
img.21food.comView Full Size

Farker size.
 
2015-08-31 09:17:46 PM  

tjsands1118: [img.21food.com image 331x490]
Farker size.


The jar?
 
2015-08-31 09:17:51 PM  

tjsands1118: [img.21food.com image 331x490]
Farker size.


the jar?
 
2015-08-31 09:19:35 PM  
Something something kumquat.
 
2015-08-31 09:22:13 PM  
pictures.bigfunnysite.comView Full Size
 
2015-08-31 09:22:47 PM  
If you had to compare your penis to a fruit or veg, which would it be?

I'd compare my penis to both. Liberace, Terri Schiavo.
 
2015-08-31 09:23:25 PM  
PSA to Farkers:

Check the expiration date on your condoms next time you are cleaning out the basement.
 
2015-08-31 09:24:09 PM  
leavittbrothers.comView Full Size
 
2015-08-31 09:32:12 PM  

itsaidwhat: tjsands1118: [img.21food.com image 331x490]
Farker size.

The jar?


The jar?
 
2015-08-31 09:38:11 PM  

Your Naught They're: No eggplant? That most closely matches my size and color.


DUDE!!!

You're only supposed to keep the cockring on for half an hour or less.  You need to get the hospital!
 
2015-08-31 09:48:17 PM  
Do they have baby carrots? Asking for a friend.
 
2015-08-31 09:52:00 PM  
Nothing for the ol' Cheese Wheel?

bloximages.chicago2.vip.townnews.comView Full Size
 
2015-08-31 09:52:28 PM  

DrunkenYodaZen: itsaidwhat: tjsands1118: [img.21food.com image 331x490]
Farker size.

The jar?

The jar?


The jar?
 
2015-08-31 09:54:19 PM  
No dog leg?
 
2015-08-31 09:55:32 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2015-08-31 09:56:38 PM  
Plantain?
 
2015-08-31 10:00:08 PM  

Danger Avoid Death: [leavittbrothers.com image 500x269]


...the irony of a digital image, defined using an open standard facilitated by dozens of governments worldwide, is transmitted on the Internet, using a technology developed in part by the United States government to ensure academic and military communication even during significant outages or wartime damage, and displayed using a combination of technologies and methodologies that, again, were developed in cooperation with multiple governments to facilitate consistent display of such information, posted by what is most likely a member of one of the last three generations, out of the seven or so generations recognized in the 20th century, is not lost on me.
 
2015-08-31 10:03:05 PM  
Do they come in string bean? Asking for a friend.
 
2015-08-31 10:04:04 PM  
Baby carrots...that are a little past their prime?
 
2015-08-31 10:05:38 PM  

big pig peaches: Do they come in string bean? Asking for a friend.


Is your other friend the one looking for the gourd shaped one? And not the smooth kind, the one with bumps all over it?
 
2015-08-31 10:15:13 PM  
I thought you were supposed to take the cherries from das fraugarten, not put the damn things back in...
 
2015-08-31 10:16:37 PM  
suburbanwoman.netView Full Size
 
2015-08-31 10:20:21 PM  
Durian?
 
2015-08-31 10:23:47 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size

sizes may vary
 
2015-08-31 10:29:08 PM  
You know, there are a lot of good things about being almost exactly average, one of them is never needing to hunt for condoms that fit.  Married and it's been a while since I had to wrap it up, but back in the day I never encountered an off the shelf condom that wasn't my size.
 
2015-08-31 10:45:28 PM  
Didn't see one for a watermelon. I hate always being left out.
 
2015-08-31 10:48:15 PM  
Japan has a better idea...

i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2015-08-31 10:59:20 PM  
wonder how many will buy the cucumber when they should have bought the baby carrot ?

or buy both and put the cucumber on the top of the bag.


// first question : no comment
// next question: of course and no further comment
// (this slashie intentionally left blank)
 
2015-09-01 12:23:44 AM  

WordsnCollision: Japan has a better idea...

[i.imgur.com image 850x509]


46% of what?
 
2015-09-01 12:28:26 AM  

twohotpumpsofmanlove: If you had to compare your penis to a fruit or veg, which would it be?

I'd compare my penis to both. Liberace, Terri Schiavo.


reactiongifs.usView Full Size
 
2015-09-01 12:29:21 AM  
can you swap them end for end? like a reverse carrot?
 
2015-09-01 12:31:19 AM  

gerbilpox: twohotpumpsofmanlove: If you had to compare your penis to a fruit or veg, which would it be?

I'd compare my penis to both. Liberace, Terri Schiavo.

[www.reactiongifs.us image 250x189]


Apologies if that GIF looks as farked to others as it now does on my system. Was fine in the orig.
 
2015-09-01 12:33:02 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2015-09-01 12:33:29 AM  

gerbilpox: gerbilpox: twohotpumpsofmanlove: If you had to compare your penis to a fruit or veg, which would it be?

I'd compare my penis to both. Liberace, Terri Schiavo.

[www.reactiongifs.us image 250x189]

Apologies if that GIF looks as farked to others as it now does on my system. Was fine in the orig.


I've seen that happen before with that particular Picard gif.
 
2015-09-01 12:44:49 AM  

quantum_jellyroll: [img.fark.net image 810x794]


hahahah!
 
2015-09-01 01:49:50 AM  
Most big honored to catch happy fun time man juice! Go power team on!
 
2015-09-01 02:14:29 AM  
bjdwsm.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
 
2015-09-01 06:55:19 AM  

criscodisco: Do the Brits have a different vegetable in mind when they say "turnip"?

I've been with lots of various dong sizes, but I'm having a lot of trouble visualizing a turnip dick.



Sometimes they look like this:

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size


Although more commonly more like:

encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.comView Full Size
 
2015-09-01 06:59:48 AM  

Fallout Boy: Do they have baby carrots? Asking for a friend.


If your, um, friend happens to be circumsized, then you want to get the baby cut carrot ones instead.
 
2015-09-01 07:31:15 AM  
... I honestly think I don't even want to know. I've made it this far without measuring. My lovers seem to want to repeat the experience. I can be content with that.
 
2015-09-01 08:12:15 AM  
" There's a Leek in the boat!! "

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
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