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(Huffington Post)   Ashley Madison says they're signing up tons of completely real, not at all fake, new users   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line
    More: Unlikely  
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3385 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Aug 2015 at 3:54 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



61 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2015-08-31 01:31:17 PM  
89,000 nigerian princesses looking for your help to move vast sums of money out of the country.
 
2015-08-31 01:43:52 PM  
What, you don't believe us?  Here are their names, addresses, and credit card information:

Aavary Aardvark, 123 Drury Lane.....
 
2015-08-31 01:46:01 PM  
They should email the users who've had their details leaked and say "Look, your wife has probably left you, you really need us now"
 
2015-08-31 02:04:21 PM  
No, really, they're totally not hookers.
 
2015-08-31 02:13:39 PM  
One of the latest sign-ups. Guys, update your profiles.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2015-08-31 02:16:28 PM  
including 87,596 women

Run that through the Ashley Madison equation:

87,596 * .002 = 175
 
2015-08-31 02:18:46 PM  

Dumski: One of the latest sign-ups. Guys, update your profiles.

[img.fark.net image 500x281]


I keep getting lost in the Uncanny Valley, it  almost looks real though.
 
2015-08-31 02:46:37 PM  

Dumski: One of the latest sign-ups. Guys, update your profiles.

[img.fark.net image 500x281]


omgface.comView Full Size


-hits report post button. Repeatedly-
 
2015-08-31 02:50:55 PM  

timujin: including 87,596 women

Run that through the Ashley Madison equation:

87,596 * .002 = 175


No, no!  We can assure you that these are actual women with actual vaginas and actual spouses.  They're actually hot and yet completely unable to meet any randos at local bars for NSA sex!
 
2015-08-31 03:12:58 PM  

factoryconnection: timujin: including 87,596 women

Run that through the Ashley Madison equation:

87,596 * .002 = 175

No, no!  We can assure you that these are actual women with actual vaginas and actual spouses.  They're actually hot and yet completely unable to meet any randos at local bars for NSA sex!


It's okay, I missed a decimal place, it should be .0002 and, therefore, 17.5 women.
 
2015-08-31 03:26:00 PM  
What an Ashley Madison meet-up might look like:

gifwave.comView Full Size
 
2015-08-31 03:57:24 PM  
I was always kinda partial toward her sister, Dolly.
 
2015-08-31 03:57:32 PM  
I bet the reality is fewer than a hundred, total, 99 of which are men.  That is probably the number of people who haven't heard their member roles are public information.

Surprised AM will be allowed to get away with such a massive lie.... but then I am not sure who is regulating them.
 
2015-08-31 03:57:58 PM  
Maybe women signing up to spy on their SO.
 
2015-08-31 03:58:27 PM  

Dumski: One of the latest sign-ups. Guys, update your profiles.

[img.fark.net image 500x281]


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2015-08-31 04:02:20 PM  

GORDON: I bet the reality is fewer than a hundred, total, 99 of which are men.  That is probably the number of people who haven't heard their member roles are public information.

Surprised AM will be allowed to get away with such a massive lie.... but then I am not sure who is regulating them.


Yes, who is in charge of regulating the online adultery business?

/facepalm
 
2015-08-31 04:07:52 PM  

redly1: GORDON: I bet the reality is fewer than a hundred, total, 99 of which are men. That is probably the number of people who haven't heard their member roles are public information.

Surprised AM will be allowed to get away with such a massive lie.... but then I am not sure who is regulating them.

Yes, who is in charge of regulating the online adultery business


funnystack.comView Full Size


Just a suggestion. He's not doing anything these days and he has the experience.
 
2015-08-31 04:08:44 PM  
Things not to do on the internet:

Buy / sell drugs
Buy / sell illegal guns
Click on 4chan links
Cheat on husband or wife
 
2015-08-31 04:08:44 PM  

Dumski: One of the latest sign-ups. Guys, update your profiles.

[img.fark.net image 500x281]


What does she mean, like me laying in bed with a few extra large philly cheese steak pizzas from Dominos kinda turn on?
/got a warm bottle or ranch under you pillow baby, I know you don't like the cold ranch to cool off your pizza, I listen.
 
2015-08-31 04:13:05 PM  

redly1: GORDON: I bet the reality is fewer than a hundred, total, 99 of which are men.  That is probably the number of people who haven't heard their member roles are public information.

Surprised AM will be allowed to get away with such a massive lie.... but then I am not sure who is regulating them.

Yes, who is in charge of regulating the online adultery business?

/facepalm


Based in Canada.
 
2015-08-31 04:25:49 PM  
They're done for, but I'm just counting down until the next skeezy company takes their place. Where there's a market...
 
2015-08-31 04:35:27 PM  
They also have some high, dry land in Florida for a really good price.
 
2015-08-31 04:38:59 PM  

DrunkenYodaZen: Maybe women signing up to spy on their SO.


This is my assumption.
 
2015-08-31 04:56:33 PM  
Well, not really timely, but here:

http://gizmodo.com/almost-none-of-the-women-in-the-ashley-madison-da ta base-1725558944

This Ashley Madison business looks less scandalous and more sad with every passing day.
 
2015-08-31 04:57:58 PM  

LeroyBourne: Dumski: One of the latest sign-ups. Guys, update your profiles.

What does she mean, like me laying in bed with a few extra large philly cheese steak pizzas from Dominos kinda turn on?
/got a warm bottle or ranch under you pillow baby, I know you don't like the cold ranch to cool off your pizza, I listen.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2015-08-31 05:07:53 PM  

Dumski: One of the latest sign-ups. Guys, update your profiles.

[img.fark.net image 500x281]


fark you, that shiat ain't cool, man.
 
2015-08-31 05:16:25 PM  
You wouldn't know them, they're from Canada.

\tip of the hat to nursetim
 
2015-08-31 05:27:14 PM  
Oh great. I wonder what program they're going to use this time as they scour Facebook profiles around the world for random women's profile pics to copy & paste.

Ladies, seriously go get TinEye or something that tracks who's been lifting your social media selfies.  Otherwise you may well end up finding your face on some sleezoid dating site under a fake name, next to fake profile claiming that you're the queen of rimjobs.
 
2015-08-31 05:30:56 PM  

NephilimNexus: Oh great. I wonder what program they're going to use this time as they scour Facebook profiles around the world for random women's profile pics to copy & paste.

Ladies, seriously go get TinEye or something that tracks who's been lifting your social media selfies.  Otherwise you may well end up finding your face on some sleezoid dating site under a fake name, next to fake profile claiming that you're the queen of rimjobs.


What if it isn't fake?
 
2015-08-31 05:32:30 PM  
i729.photobucket.comView Full Size
 
2015-08-31 05:41:54 PM  
" ... Last week alone, women sent more than 2.8 million messages within our platform... "

Some guy has been awfully busy.
 
2015-08-31 06:00:06 PM  
just like hillary.  that business is done and doesn't know it yet.
 
2015-08-31 06:18:06 PM  

timujin: including 87,596 women

Run that through the Ashley Madison equation:

87,596 * .002 = 175


quickmeme.comView Full Size
 
2015-08-31 06:19:09 PM  
Much like Chicago, the dead can join Ashley Madison, often multiple times.
 
2015-08-31 06:22:15 PM  

colon_pow: just like hillary.  that business is done and doesn't know it yet.


Oh, about Hillary?  Let's regroup in 436 and discuss this.
 
2015-08-31 06:23:02 PM  
Bill Evans at Mariposa: Let's regroup in 436 and discuss this.

... That's day,s not minutes.
 
2015-08-31 06:23:19 PM  
Well, hackers are like lightning; they don't strike twice in the same place.  So it's perfectly safe now. Right?
 
2015-08-31 06:26:24 PM  
Fact:  no actual human being has ever used Ashley Madison.
 
2015-08-31 06:33:27 PM  

Pattuq: Fact:  no actual human being has ever used Ashley Madison.


Except for her entire high school football team. That slut.
 
2015-08-31 06:39:25 PM  
So they suddenly got a bunch of women on the site, and it's about 60 times the number of women they had up until now?

I guess being exposed as a fake service is tremendously good marketing.

Unless they're faking those numbers---but why would a company with a reputation as a fake service do something like faking numbers?
 
2015-08-31 06:43:36 PM  

timujin: including 87,596 women

Run that through the Ashley Madison equation:

87,596 * .002 = 175


Actually I think they probably had a huge influx of actual women signing up to the site after they found they SO in the DB and or curious if they could find them on the site.  The sad thing is that a not insignificant portion of them will actually pay the fees to some degree for the more open access to find out what their SO was doing.
 
2015-08-31 06:51:11 PM  
The lawsuits are going to crush them anyway.  Sure another will pop up but AM is gone, hopefully the execs are doing all kinds of CYA that will be illegal and land them in jail.
 
2015-08-31 06:56:06 PM  

GORDON: I bet the reality is fewer than a hundred, total, 99 of which are men.


So, they signed up the Smurf village?
 
2015-08-31 06:57:04 PM  
That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons of history. - Aldous Huxley
 
2015-08-31 07:10:42 PM  

James!: 89,000 nigerian princesses looking for your help to move vast sums of money your waterbed and star wars memorabilia collection out of the country county.


FTF ...

... Users of the website
 
2015-08-31 07:13:16 PM  

GORDON: I bet the reality is fewer than a hundred, total, 99 of which are men.  That is probably the number of people who haven't heard their member roles are public information.

Surprised AM will be allowed to get away with such a massive lie.... but then I am not sure who is regulating them.


The free market.
 
2015-08-31 07:16:02 PM  

MooseBayou: James!: 89,000 nigerian princesses looking for your help to move vast sums of money your waterbed and star wars memorabilia collection out of the country county.

FTF ...

... Users of the website


pfft, I  wish I still had a waterbed.
 
2015-08-31 07:42:54 PM  

timujin: including 87,596 women

Run that through the Ashley Madison equation:

87,596 * .002 = 175


s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2015-08-31 07:45:31 PM  
After being on match.com unsuccessfully for quite a while, I found my wife on Ashley Madison.
That cheating slut...
 
2015-08-31 07:52:00 PM  
Waiting for the lawsuits putting them out of business...
 
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