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(WCSH 8 Portland)   "Police said 29-year-old Jordan Toner was driving with seven passengers when he leaned over to join the photo, ran off the road and into a tree"   (wcsh6.com) divider line
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6663 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Aug 2015 at 9:52 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



88 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2015-08-31 08:49:04 AM  
That's a selfie I'd love to see.  Seven dumbasses in the immediate act of realizing they're about to crash.
 
2015-08-31 09:10:49 AM  
At least he lives a life that's free.

/Timpani drum riff...
 
2015-08-31 09:16:13 AM  
These were adults, and none of them thought to say "um, you're driving, how about not being in the selfie?"
 
2015-08-31 09:27:39 AM  
♪ ♫
Jordan
Jordan Toner
He's the greatest guy in history
From the
Town of Orient
He's about to hit a chestnut tree
♪ ♫

i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2015-08-31 09:28:29 AM  
The Jordan Toner was Nike's least successful cross-trainer shoe.
 
2015-08-31 09:42:38 AM  
At least Toner got his name in print.
 
2015-08-31 09:54:48 AM  

grokca: At least Toner got his name in print.


heh, in Comic-Sans no less
 
2015-08-31 09:56:33 AM  
Darwin missed.
 
2015-08-31 09:57:35 AM  
quickmeme.comView Full Size
 
2015-08-31 09:58:28 AM  

Psychopusher: That's a selfie I'd love to see.  Seven dumbasses in the immediate act of realizing they're about to crash.


So, he ran out of Toner?
 
2015-08-31 09:59:43 AM  
Dang. That's stupid.

Science has built a better idiot.
 
2015-08-31 10:00:10 AM  
I've been thinking I need a dash cam for some of the weird shiat I see while driving. People like this guy could get one and just point it inwards...
 
2015-08-31 10:01:43 AM  

nmrsnr: These were adults, and none of them thought to say "um, you're driving, how about not being in the selfie?"


Oh, that's not the only bad decision.

I recognize that car. It's a Mazda CX-5. It only seats 5 people, which means at least three people in that car were sitting on someone else's lap. FTFA, that includes two women in the front seat that were not wearing seat belts.

On the other hand, maybe the fact that the vehicle was packed like a clown car helped cushion the impact?
 
2015-08-31 10:04:47 AM  
To be honest, even having an old school photog riding along could be dangerous. Those flash bulbs explode from time to time. It's the other reason there's a shield in back to keep the bulb-buying customer from getting burned.


encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
 
2015-08-31 10:05:32 AM  
Headed to the Appalachian Trail?
 
2015-08-31 10:11:14 AM  
Darwin nods approvingly.
 
2015-08-31 10:11:43 AM  
dang, that's really in the middle of nowhere.  Yet they managed to get on the Internet and not just the Internet but Fark dot com,

Maine is a different state of mind, nothing else quite like it
 
2015-08-31 10:16:50 AM  

UsikFark: I've been thinking I need a dash cam for some of the weird shiat I see while driving. People like this guy could get one and just point it inwards...


Dash cams are super cheap now on Amazon- I was looking at nice 1080p cams for about $100-150.

I took my buddy to the store on saturday afternoon and I was just chilling in the car while he grabbed cat food and whatnot.

I hear somebody yelling down on the far side of the  street and it's some drunk ass-dude pushing a bicycle at the other end of the block.

He tried and failed no less than three times to mount the bicycle in the span of a single block and ate it hard every time before making it even a pedal or two forward.

Then from the right came this slamming brunette girl on a bicycle, but she could actually bicycle.

I wish I had the dash cam for the brunette.
 
2015-08-31 10:16:54 AM  
Fail, subby? You mean great success.
 
2015-08-31 10:18:53 AM  
Good.
 
2015-08-31 10:21:34 AM  
I'm sure Toner left some skid marks and runs on the seat from that
 
2015-08-31 10:25:39 AM  

"Police said 29-year-old Jordan Toner was driving with seven passengers when he leaned over to join the photo, ran off the road and into a tree"


Jord'n
Jord'n
Jord'n of the Jungle
Dumb as he can be.
Watch out for that tree!
 
2015-08-31 10:27:07 AM  
He forgot to turn on the Cruise Control.
 
2015-08-31 10:31:36 AM  
I'm just glad they didn't hit another car, or pedestrian etc.  How the fark stupid can you be?  These weren't teenagers either.  All in their late 20s.

I'd love to be in the courtroom for that one just hear what the judge says.
 
2015-08-31 10:32:34 AM  

UsikFark: I've been thinking I need a dash cam for some of the weird shiat I see while driving. People like this guy could get one and just point it inwards...


There are cameras that do both.

Here is a great video collection of distracted drivers from both angles:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=22&v=cs0iwz3NEC0
 
2015-08-31 10:34:17 AM  
I found his favorite childhood movie

ecx.images-amazon.comView Full Size
 
2015-08-31 10:35:36 AM  
FTFA ~ "The crash happened Saturday on Deering Lake Road in Orient."

Farking Oriental drivers!
 
2015-08-31 10:38:43 AM  

The Madd Mann: FTFA, that includes two women in the front seat that were not wearing seat belts.


I noticed that, too. I always assumed people grew out of that sort of stupidity somewhere in their college years. Apparently not.
 
2015-08-31 10:43:48 AM  
"Toner was summonsed for failing to maintain control of a motor vehicle due to being distracted."

No, he was quite focused.
Just not on driving.
 
2015-08-31 10:44:51 AM  
FTFA: Two male passengers also suffered injuries including cuts near their eyes and back.

I'm trying to understand if the males injured had cuts on their backs, or back injuries in addition to cuts near their eyes.  Who writes this stuff?
 
2015-08-31 10:48:05 AM  
Will penalties for texting and driving (or using a mobile device while driving) ever approach the penalties incurred for a DUI?
 
2015-08-31 10:53:08 AM  
It's strange how whenever you bend over while driving you veer off the road. I know this, if I drop my phone or something while driving and tell myself before I bend to get it "you are going to veer", I still veer. Everytime.
 
2015-08-31 10:55:27 AM  

thismomentinblackhistory: Will penalties for texting and driving (or using a mobile device while driving) ever approach the penalties incurred for a DUI?


They should.  It's the same thing, except they don't even have the excuse that their thinking was impaired due to intoxicants.  They're just extremely ignorant which makes them just as dangerous IMO.
 
2015-08-31 10:56:38 AM  

nmrsnr: I noticed that, too. I always assumed people grew out of that sort of stupidity somewhere in their college years. Apparently not.


29 is the new 16 "stupid".
 
2015-08-31 11:30:09 AM  
O.O  I was expecting this to be teenagers.  That's an awful lot of stupid in one car.
 
2015-08-31 11:33:41 AM  

thismomentinblackhistory: Will penalties for texting and driving (or using a mobile device while driving) ever approach the penalties incurred for a DUI?


If the cops can make money off it, hell yeah.
 
2015-08-31 11:34:18 AM  

Cold_Sassy: I'm just glad they didn't hit another car, or pedestrian etc.  How the fark stupid can you be?  These weren't teenagers either.  All in their late 20s.

I'd love to be in the courtroom for that one just hear what the judge says.


It seems to me there's not much for the judge to say. He could ask questions, like, "why did you have so many passengers in the car?" or "why did you think it would be a good idea to attempt a group picture while driving?" and no matter what the answer, Jordan Toner would just sound like a dumbass.
 
2015-08-31 11:38:57 AM  
My husband worked a crash a couple years back where a woman ran into the back of a school bus while distracted by her phone.  The bus was at a complete stop with lights and signs deployed, and had just picked up a couple more elementary schoolers.  Her car ended up wedged under the back of that bus and crumbled like a soda can- she died instantly.  The immediate assumption by everyone was that she was probably looking down at her phone  (which later proved to be true via her phone records), due to the lack of skid marks or evidence that she braked at all.  I mean honestly, a bright yellow bus with flashing lights, at a dead stop, and you never even notice it in front of you?  Luckily the few kids on the bus were toward the front and weren't hurt, but damn, people are scary as hell behind the wheel these days.
 
2015-08-31 11:48:33 AM  

Kfer00: My husband worked a crash a couple years back where a woman ran into the back of a school bus while distracted by her phone.  The bus was at a complete stop with lights and signs deployed, and had just picked up a couple more elementary schoolers.  Her car ended up wedged under the back of that bus and crumbled like a soda can- she died instantly.  The immediate assumption by everyone was that she was probably looking down at her phone  (which later proved to be true via her phone records), due to the lack of skid marks or evidence that she braked at all.  I mean honestly, a bright yellow bus with flashing lights, at a dead stop, and you never even notice it in front of you?  Luckily the few kids on the bus were toward the front and weren't hurt, but damn, people are scary as hell behind the wheel these days.


Maybe it was the cold medication.

i.ytimg.comView Full Size
 
2015-08-31 11:52:20 AM  

Smeggy Smurf: I found his favorite childhood movie

[ecx.images-amazon.com image 300x299]


dumb guy crashes car while taking selfie. Classic bit of Internet comedy. Now comes the part where we throw our heads back and laugh. Ready?
 
2015-08-31 11:52:57 AM  
SELFIES!
 
2015-08-31 11:53:26 AM  
So he's a *putting on sunglasses* ... Toner car-tree'dge?

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH......
 
2015-08-31 11:55:35 AM  

Bedstead Polisher: Cold_Sassy: I'm just glad they didn't hit another car, or pedestrian etc.  How the fark stupid can you be?  These weren't teenagers either.  All in their late 20s.

I'd love to be in the courtroom for that one just hear what the judge says.

It seems to me there's not much for the judge to say. He could ask questions, like, "why did you have so many passengers in the car?" or "why did you think it would be a good idea to attempt a group picture while driving?" and no matter what the answer, Jordan Toner would just sound like a dumbass.


Yes, exactly.  If you were really lucky s/he would bust out a Judge Judy type of tirade on their stupidity.
 
2015-08-31 12:02:10 PM  

Rattrap007: Smeggy Smurf: I found his favorite childhood movie

[ecx.images-amazon.com image 300x299]

dumb guy crashes car while taking selfie. Classic bit of Internet comedy. Now comes the part where we throw our heads back and laugh. Ready?


You're way too cool for my parties
 
2015-08-31 12:03:52 PM  
So Toner was shaken up?
 
2015-08-31 12:07:43 PM  
Why would they need a selfie of themselves in a car? It's not like no one's ever seen a car full of people before.
 
2015-08-31 12:20:09 PM  
*Checks article*.  Good they all lived.  I can comment on just how stupid these kids are.
 
2015-08-31 12:21:26 PM  
I hope the tree is OK.
 
2015-08-31 12:21:59 PM  

Kfer00: My husband worked a crash a couple years back where a woman ran into the back of a school bus while distracted by her phone.  The bus was at a complete stop with lights and signs deployed, and had just picked up a couple more elementary schoolers.  Her car ended up wedged under the back of that bus and crumbled like a soda can- she died instantly.  The immediate assumption by everyone was that she was probably looking down at her phone  (which later proved to be true via her phone records), due to the lack of skid marks or evidence that she braked at all.  I mean honestly, a bright yellow bus with flashing lights, at a dead stop, and you never even notice it in front of you?  Luckily the few kids on the bus were toward the front and weren't hurt, but damn, people are scary as hell behind the wheel these days.


pictures.topspeed.comView Full Size


She probably thought "I'm in a Humvee.  If there's an accident, I a-gonna win."
 
2015-08-31 12:53:20 PM  
dick move, asshole
 
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