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(Wired)   This leech feeds on hippo rectums. Surprisingly, this is not another Donald Trump story   (wired.com) divider line
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5035 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Aug 2015 at 11:44 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



48 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2015-08-31 08:35:17 AM  
Hungry hungry hemorrhoids.
 
2015-08-31 08:53:10 AM  
Rectum?
 
2015-08-31 09:16:10 AM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2015-08-31 09:45:27 AM  
Once in a while a Scott Walker story is necessary.
 
2015-08-31 11:48:31 AM  
Damn near killed 'em.

/oblig
 
2015-08-31 11:52:14 AM  
Well, I guess that would explain their notoriously shiatty tempers.
 
2015-08-31 11:58:53 AM  
Siddall and a game officer prepare to search for leeches. Siddall explains: "Before going into a pool full of angry hippos, I asked the game officer what the rifle was for, to shoot a hippo if it got me in its mouth? 'No,' he replied, 'you'll want me to shoot you before his teeth slice you in half.'"

Hippos are so awesome.
 
2015-08-31 12:00:40 PM  
"I found some big ass leeches!" said some scientist.
 
2015-08-31 12:02:49 PM  
I prefer dead rhinoceros rectum.

/obscure
 
2015-08-31 12:03:52 PM  
Maybe this is why hippos do that helicopter poo thing.
 
2015-08-31 12:04:01 PM  

Barfmaker: Rectum?


Damn near killed em...
 
2015-08-31 12:09:27 PM  
Hippo rectums, butthole leeches, explosive pooing , leach sex  and traumatic insemination...This article has everything
 
2015-08-31 12:10:07 PM  
Why don't they teach this as a career opp in school? Hippo ass leech hunter is something to asspire to. I wanna git me some.
 
2015-08-31 12:12:15 PM  

abhorrent1: Hippo rectums, butthole leeches, explosive pooing , leach sex  and traumatic insemination...This article has everything


A guy could have a pretty good weekend with all that.
 
2015-08-31 12:16:40 PM  
You'd think the words leech and hippo rectum in a headline would be a story about Hillary Clinton. But dems aren't allowed to talk about the ex First Lady. Must suck for democrats, not being able to have a discussion about the person picked by the DNC to be their nomination for a president.
 
2015-08-31 12:19:09 PM  
Came for the tfd reference. leaving disappoint
 
2015-08-31 12:22:37 PM  

fill this here form out: You'd think the words leech and hippo rectum in a headline would be a story about Hillary Clinton. But dems aren't allowed to talk about the ex First Lady. Must suck for democrats, not being able to have a discussion about the person picked by the DNC to be their nomination for a president.


Dude, pull the leech out of your rectum
 
2015-08-31 12:23:14 PM  

fill this here form out: You'd think the words leech and hippo rectum in a headline would be a story about Hillary Clinton. But dems aren't allowed to talk about the ex First Lady. Must suck for democrats, not being able to have a discussion about the person picked by the DNC to be their nomination for a president.


2/10
 
2015-08-31 12:23:38 PM  
I'll take the rectum leech over the rectum (Hilldawg) any day.
 
2015-08-31 12:25:21 PM  
Could there be any more butt puns in the article?

"Happily, a local game officer had gotten wind of the American's quest..."
"Far from getting a bum deal..."
"So these leeches are literally a pain in the ass. "

/na na na na na na butt pun!
 
2015-08-31 12:31:29 PM  
This thread makes me think Dan Savage should hold another contest to come up with a new frothy definition for the word Trump.  Then again, I don't think Trump has come out bashing the gay community (yet), but he's still a horrible person.
 
2015-08-31 12:31:51 PM  
Who wants to name their band "Hippo Ass Leech?"
 
2015-08-31 12:33:13 PM  
I, for one, welcome our new bung hole leach overlords.
 
2015-08-31 12:45:49 PM  

fill this here form out: You'd think the words leech and hippo rectum in a headline would be a story about Hillary Clinton. But dems aren't allowed to talk about the ex First Lady. Must suck for democrats, not being able to have a discussion about the person picked by the DNC to be their nomination for a president.

[Account created 2015-01-01]


n00bs try so hard, bless their sweet hearts.
 
2015-08-31 12:53:57 PM  
Isn't still a Trump story though?
 
2015-08-31 12:54:01 PM  
i.ytimg.comView Full Size


And now you know the REST of the story.

/ RIP, Paul Harvey
 
2015-08-31 12:54:24 PM  

unfarkingbelievable: Who wants to name their band "Hippo Ass Leech?"


I think Hillary already has that trademark.
 
2015-08-31 12:56:54 PM  
Trump is going to be President

He will kick all dirty hippie dope fiend ass out of the country
 
2015-08-31 01:02:32 PM  
Headline was wrong subby, the article was actually about Donald Trump.
 
2015-08-31 01:05:03 PM  
Ahh...the kardashian leech.
 
2015-08-31 01:14:35 PM  
Why people in Africa think Westerners are crazy:

Primus: So what did that American want?
Secundus: He wanted to look at the leeches on a hippo's asss
P: Why would he fly half way around the world to do that?
S: So he can write about them in a book.
P: And then what?
S: Then nothing. They can point at the book and say: "Look, this leech exists."
P: And someone is getting paid to do that?
S: Yes, quite decently even.
P: White people are crazy.
 
2015-08-31 01:30:26 PM  
Whatcha doing, dad?

Oh, hello, Jesus.  I'm making a leech that will attach itself to only hippo rectum.

Uh, a hippo ass leech?  Dad, we need to talk.

What?  This?  I can stop this stuff anytime.

That's what you said when you made the platypus.

That's different.  I had a bunch of left over parts.

Dad, For dad's sake, please step away from the table.

Son, it's either this, or I make another Kardashian.

Hippo ass leech, it is dad.  Hippo ass leech it is.
 
2015-08-31 01:32:27 PM  

destrip: [i.ytimg.com image 850x478]

And now you know the REST of the story.

/ RIP, Paul Harvey


Believe me, you don't want to run into one of these in the bush, especially at night. They have a 0-60 in the range of a Tesla P85D.
 
2015-08-31 01:34:48 PM  

BluVeinThrobber: Came for the tfd reference. leaving disappoint


Hippo Rectum wasn't enough of a reference for you?
 
2015-08-31 01:40:12 PM  
havewindwilltravel.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
 
2015-08-31 01:40:17 PM  
Still better than Taco Bell.
 
2015-08-31 01:40:40 PM  

Carn: Maybe this is why hippos do that helicopter poo thing.


They go into this in graphic detail. Apparently the leech is well adapted to survive and remain in the hippopotamus' rectum, despite the frequent, violent defecation.
 
2015-08-31 01:55:44 PM  
Someone should warn Oprah....
 
2015-08-31 02:00:13 PM  

Dellirium: Someone should warn Oprah....


She has already had them, its the real secret of her diet.
 
2015-08-31 02:03:07 PM  

unfarkingbelievable: Who wants to name their band "Hippo Ass Leech?"


Move over Deez Nutz, we have a new leader for GOP Write-in candidate.
 
2015-08-31 02:11:18 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2015-08-31 02:11:38 PM  
Parasites are amazingly adaptable.

Who would have imagined that a bankrupt real estate dealer would become famous for playing himself on stupid arsehole-based TV shows and then parlay it into a run for President of the United States?

And this rectum leech, too. The hippopotamus is covered in thick, thick skin but the leech found a way. Blood-suckers always find a way.

Hippos, by the way, kill over 3,000 people a year. They are the deadliest large animal (although factoid jokers can sting you with the malaria-bearing mosquito--gotcha! Parasites kill more people than vegetarians! Who could have guessed?). Sharks killed only five people a year in the USA. Humans kill 100,000,000 sharks a year, making them the most dangerous super-predators in the ocean. Some humans use live dogs as bait. Feel free to hate them although the SOBs are just making a living in the only way they know.
 
2015-08-31 02:54:26 PM  

LeroyBourne: This thread makes me think Dan Savage should hold another contest to come up with a new frothy definition for the word Trump.  Then again, I don't think Trump has come out bashing the gay community (yet), but he's still a horrible person.


"Trump" already has a definition.
 
2015-08-31 03:17:17 PM  

unfarkingbelievable: Who wants to name their band "Hippo Ass Leech?"


I dunno but was thinking "traumatic insemination" would be a good name for my Duggar themed cover band.
 
2015-08-31 04:55:36 PM  

DerAppie: Primus: So what did that American want?


I had stopped reading at this point trying to figure out which Primus song you were quoting here, and kept coming up blank...
 
2015-08-31 07:21:17 PM  
"Hippos, especially male hippos, engage in so much combat and they experience so much scraping and ripping and tearing from the teeth of other hippos, the amount of stimulus, negative or otherwise, that a leech in their butthole is going to cause has got to be fairly minimal."

/it's all about perspective
 
2015-08-31 11:10:45 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2015-08-31 11:11:17 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
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