The Christian faith is under attack more than any other? Huh? What the hell?

Meanwhile in Tibet..

This guy really irritates me.

"This movie is likely another maneuver to capitalize on the new found infatuation of visually oriented youth with bright and dazzling display of the occult, witchcraft and evil. It is another presentation of using evil to fight evil."

Ignorance is bliss...

No, wait...Ignorance is stupidity...Geez...I think I read too much of that whelp's article.

He is just upset that Lord of the Rings is both a better work of fiction and more enjoyable to read than that pile of crap bible he lusts after.

Anybody know how he actually managed to see the movie with his head stuck so far up his ass?

crumbling cavern perils

Ohhhhh...gotta hate those crumbling cavern perils! If there's one thing that makes a movie truly evil and offensive, it's crumbling cavern perils.

Wow, Fb- I am impressed! I agree =)

now for my original post

Nice to see the CAP's unbiased and clearly brilliant review...

Wonder how they would rate the bible.....

Fb-:

I think the CAP guy has a window in his stomach...so he can see where he's going.

explosive startle

Oh, the horror ...

graphic imagery of implement

Does anyone know what this one means?

And if liking this movie, or the books, makes me somehow Satanic, then all I have to say is ...
ALL HAIL THE DARK LORD!

Ouch, Drugs section got knocked to a 65 for a little pipe and beer, that's harsh

After more than 500 movies I suspect I can say with credibility that any of the imagery of evil you have seen before now does not match the evil in The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring.

My favorite part.

Jeez, I've read this stuff many times before but this one takes the cake I believe. I can't understand how some people have no comprehension of the fact that something is a work of FICTION and has no direct effect on your real life. If your kid becomes a sorceror because of....oh wait, there are NO SUCH THINGS AS SORCERORS, or elfs, or orcs, or hobbits. It's not real!!!!

My favorite one out of the Offense to God section was the "claim of immortality". Besides the fact I already touched on (this being fiction). The elves didn't "claim" to be immortal, they freakin' were! Elrond was at the battle with Sauron 3000 years ago, and he was a grown man at the time. I think I would pretty much take him at his word if he says he is immortal.

oh yeah, I forgot, did anybody else notice this line?

NOTE: None of the organizations in the images on this page are paying one cent for the space.

WTF??? So on your front page you are begging for the mythical "reader donations" then clog your content pages with as many ads as StileProcjet and you charge them NOTHING?? Smart. God never said not to charge for adverts.

The stupidity of these people is baffling. If their faith was that strong, why would they have to worry about evil influence? They must be weak.

One of the 20 rings, named "My Precious", possessed the power to give the wearer power of global proportion

The ring isn't named that. It's just what Gollum called it.

LMAO - Did you notice he said the ring was called "my precious" ? I've read the books numerous times and the only one who referred to the ring as "my precious" was Gollum.... Is Cap Also known as Gollum? That would explain a LOT!!!


Rapier

By the way...do you think any of the CAP people actually ever enjoy a movie?

Well, of course he didn't READ the book. It's full of sinful WORDS after all...

Maybe the Christian faith is under attack [by the adversary though the unbelievers] because it is the "right one"
so who gave him the right to decide what the "right" religion is..

So, Moses didn't use supernatural forces to bring down the plagues, split the red sea, and cause water to spring from a stone?



Your right, he didn't, because he was a character in a poorly written book that could never hope to match the genius of Tolkien.

There is at least 1 thing I can say that is good about CAP. It is a tool for ultra-religous parents to censor their kids and that helps to keep the government out of it. It is often funny, and outright silly at times. But hey, their perrogative, and at least he sees the movie and actually gives, albiet very skewed, logic for his reasons, which is much better then saying: that it is bad.......m'kay.

JPH:
CAP did enjoy a movie once. It was Mary Poppins. I think thats the movie that got a perfect score. You should read the review, its pretty funny

Hey, he has 'claim of immortality' in there twice. I wonder if that worked its way into the scoring twice.

Amazingly, he calls this one the most evil film of all time, yet "American Psycho" rated a zero.

My favorite line:

"Therein lies a useful feature provided only by the copyrighted CAP analysis model--an assessment method not possible by any other movie rating system known on the entire planet. There is one other movie rating outfit which has mimicked the CAP model from its start, but that is all it is -- a mimicry. And it does not have the CAP Thermometers. Nor the more than 40 mathematical equations in every report. Nor the Rock-solid investigation standards."

Wow, quite pleased with themselves aren't they.

I was amused by the ganja references in the film. IIRC,
in the book they called it "pipe-weed", but in the movie
Bilbo and Gandalf are smokin' out and Bilbo says something
like "Yeah, you're smoking the best weed in all of Middle
Earth". And then Saruman chides Gandalf about his mind
being clouded by "smoking too much of the Halflings' leaf"
or something to that effect.

Not to mention the dwarf-tossing joke and the Die Hard-esque
"Let's go hunt some Orc" line towards the end. Actually I
thought that stuff was kind of cool as I am not a purist for
the books (which I did enjoy a lot as a youth).

CAP is cool because it actually (as has been pointed out here
before) encourages people to see these movies. The "South
Park" one in particular ("Straight from the pits of hell,"
blah blah) worked for several of my friends: "Wow, that
sounds like a pretty damn good movie, let's go!"

"The one ring conjured in the wearer insane lust"


Whoa... were can I see this version? Boobies? Hopefully. :)

The bottom line is that God clearly commands that witchcraft, sorcery and wizardry are evil.

These people are stuck in the middle ages or something. shiate, Jesus' so-called miracles could easily be interpreted as witchcraft, sorcery and wizardry as well!

A true Christian should know that the protagonists of LOTR should be interpreted as unknowing servants of God. If evil is all they see, they should stop reading the Old Testament.

freakystyley

Jeez


I'm an Evangelical Christian, and this review is, bluntly, bullshiat. It embarrasses me to have this clown even attempt to represent my Faith.

The idiot. Doesn't even know that Tolkien intended that the wizards are all supposed to be angels. Ignores the use of supernatural power by Moses, by Elijah, Samson, by Christ Himself - instead says that they are all bad bad bad.

What a complete and utter waste of time. I had heard of CAPAlert from church, where it was MOCKED. Now I know why.

Jumbotron: Yes, using Math to rate a movie is Christian. However, using Math to prove that the Earth is round is heresy :)! Ha ha ha!

freakystyley

NSFW: WTF!? Mary Poppins!? That movie is just one big acid trip!

freakystyley

"long sequence of dire urgency with explosive sound"
Nooo! Fie on you Satan! Dire urgency is eeeevil.

"Great day in the morning! Three hours!"
CAP swears! At least he didn't use "The most foul of
the foul words"...

Also, I believe the "graphic imagery of implement" is
a pitchfork stabbing.

So when's Jack Chick gonna get onto the LOTR bandwagon?

Boy. CAP outdoes himself this time. We were waiting for this review with as much baited breath as we were waiting for LOTR to come out. LOL

"My Precious". Jeez. He obviously must have watched the crack-fiend edition of the movie, or maybe he was busy being blind or deaf when they call it THE ONE RING.. (It's amazing he got his math right on the total number of rings though, even though the Elven rings aren't REALLY part of the 20..)

Heh. aquestion though.. Raise your hands, how many of us sent this link in? *G*

This guy cracks me up. He starts off by praising the artistry of the movie. Even to the point of saying it will make the impressionable and non-impressionable alike, actually think.

What's great is, he doesn't want people to think. He, like most zombie fundies, are 100% against people thinking. Because thinking makes you question the absolute "truths" of the Bible or fundamentalist dogma, and we can't have that happening, can we?

Explains why fundamentalist Christian media is so derivative. Oh, and the part about the Christian faith being the religion most under attack? Priceless. I'll remember that next time he slams every other non-Christian faith and demms them as "unbelievers."

Actually if I remember correctly, oddly enough one of the movies that CAP Liked was Also Tim Burton's Sleepy Hollow...

I don't recall where the link to it is tho. It threw me way off when I saw that he enjoyed it.

I saw a brand spankin' new Cadillac on my street last night. It had a bumper sticker that said "Clergy".

That bothers me.

fark the religion bashing that we have to wade thru daily, where's the thread for people who just want to gush about the dopeness of LOTR?

Sometimes it scares me to see how completely insane some people in this world can be.

I think that CAP might have actually liked it, just felt that it did wrong to his belief. I mean, just check this out:

"The story is relatively attention-keeping though often dream-like. The scenery is breath-taking. The computer aided choreography made this movie a masterpiece of its own and a tribute to technology. The blending of extremes of imagination with down to earth and believable emotions is masterful. The performers are obviously experienced and compatible with their parts."

I mean, that sounds rather positive to me.

Yeah, until you read the next sentance.

"Such a combination of talents and skills to create an absorbable story is indeed an influence which must be given somber and diligent thought because this is another story of witchcraft, sorcery and wizardry. The opulence and immensity of this book-to-film is truly a contender for your mind especially the impressionable mind."

JPH and Rapier - In the movie (not the book, to the best of my knowledge) - Gollum, Bilbo and Isuldur all call it "precious".

Just read the South Park one. Makes it sound better than it really is :)

HAR HAR HAR!

I don't know why I even posted that - his stupid mistake about calling it "precious" is somewhat justified, I suppose, but the rest of the article is about as relevant and thoughtful as a flaming bag of dog poop on my porch.

In the books, Gollum repeatedly calls the ring "my precious", and Bilbo does once when Gandalf argues with him to leave the ring behind. Isildur doesn't call the ring anything since he is only in the story as a historical reference.
Yes, I'm a geek

I find it interesting that he starts his rant off by saying that the movie is long... and then continues to nag for god knows how many pages.

The religeous banner ads were causing bile to form in the back of my throat so I had to stop in fear of throwing up.