FARK.com: (878764) Toddler, who enjoys destroying the house, finds a battery inside remote worth $100,000

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		Toddler, who enjoys destroying the house, finds a battery inside remote worth $100,000 (foxnews.com)		75
		More: Spiffy

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48783 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Mar 2004 at 3:18 PM | Favorite | share:

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Gig103		2004-03-19 08:08:39 AM

"I would have been happy with a year's worth of batteries," she told The Journal News.
Fine, I'll trade a year of batteries for $100,000 :-P

Shut........UP		2004-03-19 08:31:46 AM

now all he has to do is find another $900,000 and he can pay for his expenses until he's 18.

control		2004-03-19 09:52:17 AM

Whoa.

100,000 seems like a lot when you add the extra .00 at the end.

TickleMeElmo		2004-03-19 03:19:36 PM

Toddler, who enjoys destroying the house

That's redundant.

waitaminute...		2004-03-19 03:20:01 PM

Feh. I submitted this yesterday with a misplaced comma.

MooseBayou		2004-03-19 03:20:11 PM

That makes me want to have children.

/maybe

docfate		2004-03-19 03:21:49 PM

Poster, who doesn't know how to uses commas, throws in, some random, commas.

zymurgist		2004-03-19 03:22:23 PM

Wow.

A crumb cruncher actually makes money for ma and pa. Pretty good payback for consigning them to a life of eating mac n' cheese and driving minivans.

MayoBoy		2004-03-19 03:22:27 PM

I heard this same story but the toddler had a hook on his foot.

Killroy69		2004-03-19 03:23:51 PM

I would put 10,000 aside, and when the kid hits 13 or somesuch, I would give it to him for his birthday.

Now, go mow the lawn.

KJUW89		2004-03-19 03:24:31 PM

I liked the second story about the brain tumor causing the man's sex drive better.

/it's not a too-mer

J.Garcia'sRightMiddleFinger		2004-03-19 03:24:42 PM

Wow I like how duracell made the presence of these winning batteries well-known

/sarcasm

Diogenes		2004-03-19 03:25:55 PM

Though he's not even 2 years old yet, Billy D'Onofrio is curious about everything. He fiddles with the family phones and accidentally calls people. He plays with the television and winds up changing channels.

Kid sounds like he's tweeking on meth.

biffrollerskate		2004-03-19 03:25:55 PM

welcome to yesterday's news

milowitz		2004-03-19 03:26:07 PM

Old news.

/sore from being denied

ZzeusS		2004-03-19 03:26:08 PM

I suppose I'm being hateful, but how is this any different than anyone else in the family opening up the remote and finding the purple battery?

skinink		2004-03-19 03:27:47 PM

Yea, but really, what had that kid done for them lately ?

Craphola		2004-03-19 03:28:25 PM

I don't get how this could be a real promotional campaign. Don't most, if not all, Duracell batteries come in clear packaging? What's to prevent someone from just driving around to every store in town and searching all the batteries?

Speaking of which, I've nothing better to do this weekend...hmmm...

denton428		2004-03-19 03:29:31 PM

they will still take a loss on him...

kreskin		2004-03-19 03:29:39 PM

Dumb parents letting the kid play with something that small. He could have so easily eaten the battery and/or choked on it.

Diogenes		2004-03-19 03:29:53 PM

Regarding tumor dude...

Anyone see that NBC Dateline about the Colgate hockey player, Scott Baker? I went to school with him. He had the exact same problem. A tumor was pressing on one of his glands (pituitary, I think), and caused his body to produce an excess of estrogen. He had trouble maintaining his weight, and had no sex drive one way or the other. He finally got examined after running a marathon, at the end of which he noticed he was lactating. When they finally removed the tumor he was a like sailor on leave, for months.

bbomb487		2004-03-19 03:29:58 PM

"How lucky was that child?" said Michele Szynal, communications director of Gillette Co., Duracell's parent. "Just thinking about it makes me smile."
...she said, trying to withhold the rage

lukelightning		2004-03-19 03:33:50 PM

Must have been one of those rare batteries made by Leonardo DaVinci; collectors will pay megabucks for them.

If someone attacks you and you sue them for 100k, is that a "battery worth $100,000?"

Phishy1		2004-03-19 03:36:13 PM

Can we talk about important issue to America. Like the NCAA tourney for example.

trapped-in-CH		2004-03-19 03:38:49 PM

does all our news come from nealenews today?

mc frontalot		2004-03-19 03:39:12 PM

2004-03-19 03:28:25 PM Craphola
I don't get how this could be a real promotional campaign. Don't most, if not all, Duracell batteries come in clear packaging? What's to prevent someone from just driving around to every store in town and searching all the batteries?

I was thinking the same thing. Also, didn't the person who installed the battery notice it was purple? How often do you get a purple battery?

Cygnis-x		2004-03-19 03:39:52 PM

I hate people who find any exuse to talk about their kids.

buntz		2004-03-19 03:41:17 PM

they could have gotten twice that amount for the kid and the house wouldn't be destroyed in the process.

PLUS, the money they won is going directly to feed/clothe and EDUCATE the kid!

The way I see it, George Bailey, you're worth more to this family DEAD than you are ALIVE.

Nastard		2004-03-19 03:41:40 PM

So the toddler was lactating?

ConanTroutman		2004-03-19 03:41:51 PM

"You write down what you wanna say, then you get somebody to add in the commas and shiat,"

buntz		2004-03-19 03:42:21 PM

Which reminds me Cygnis-x have I ever told you how much my daughter enjoys "It's a Wonderful Life?"

KickahaOta		2004-03-19 03:45:32 PM

You can see the label inside the package if you just tilt the package at exactly 25 degrees.

/too much caffeine

Caractacus Potts		2004-03-19 03:46:22 PM

Speaking of which Cygnis-x , while my wife was out of town, I taught my daugter to say "I need to drop a dog log" instead of "I have to go poo poo".

Clawed Le Mew		2004-03-19 03:46:41 PM

Brat.

crispin-glover-lover		2004-03-19 03:47:38 PM

was it vincent's kid? he doesn't need the money! damn rich people, always winning more. bastiges.

/got nuthin'

Calvin Hobbes		2004-03-19 03:49:04 PM

Cygnis-X

What I find even more pathetic is people who constantly talk about their pets, as if they are their kids.

Brockway		2004-03-19 03:55:53 PM

A rare case of anti-Munchausen's-by-proxy. That kid did nothing. It was probably the dog, and they just gave credit to the carpet crawler. I predict in 16 years the world's first 1610 SAT score.

In other news, look lower in article for the beer-drinking juror:

No charges are expected to be filed against the juror.

Say what?!!!? You mean adults can now have a beer at lunch with impunity? Oh, we shall rue this day!

Urine		2004-03-19 03:56:20 PM

Speaking of which Calvin Hobbes, while my wife was out of town, I taught my dog to say "I need to drop a dog log" instead of "I have to go poo poo".

tort_feasor		2004-03-19 03:56:50 PM

Should parents that don't see a winning battery when putting them IN the farking remote be allowed to HAVE children??

ms.sin		2004-03-19 03:57:22 PM

Calvin Hobbes, my dog wants steak.

bitterati		2004-03-19 03:58:15 PM

MayoBoy always a treat to see a Meatballs reference.

I liked the story further down about the guy who claimed he had a brain tumor which is why he ran up his government-issued credit card for hookers and parts for his BMW. Comedy gold.

Caractacus Potts		2004-03-19 04:02:32 PM

I was going to do that Urine , but my dog deosn't have a nose.

Cowboy Spencer		2004-03-19 04:05:13 PM

I bet the battery was in a vibrator.

Everybody knows that's what batteries are really for anyway.

ISubmittedThisYesterdayWithAMuchFunnierHeadline		2004-03-19 04:11:31 PM

Cygnis-x

I hate people who find any exuse to talk about their kids.

I hear ya. Just the other day I was telling my daughters Maggie and Molly (adorable identical twins who do the cutest things) how much I hate it when parents do that. Molly agreed with me, but Maggie was so busy painting the most precious picture you're ever seen, I don't think she even heard me!

FNR_Thomas		2004-03-19 04:15:32 PM

I saw the title, and I saw the Fox logo, and I just assumed this was going to be another frivilous lawsuit story. I'm glad I'm wrong.

ohm		2004-03-19 04:15:50 PM

"I would have been happy with a year's worth of batteries," she told The Journal News.

With all the batteries kids toys chew up these days that just might be worth more than the 100,000.

/parent of 5 month old

rancidPlasma		2004-03-19 04:18:47 PM

"He plays with the television and winds up changing channels.

holy Christ in a KFC bucket! he changes the channels when he plays with the TV? someone throw that little beast into the phsych ward!

Korben Dallas		2004-03-19 04:25:39 PM

Where can I get some of these 100,000 dollar toddlers everyone has.

nherdboi		2004-03-19 04:27:04 PM

The King of Toast		2004-03-19 04:29:08 PM

They're doubly lucky. Standard operating procedure for a toddler finding something like that is usually to cram it as far up his ass as his little fingers can reach. Thank your lucky stars, Mom, that you didn't have to sift through the after-effects of Spaghetti-O's and animal crackers in the runt's diaper to win your 100k.

"It's true that every time you hear a bell ring, an angel gets its wings. But what they don't
tell you is that every time you hear a mouse trap snap, an Angel gets set on fire."

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