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(Some Guy)   Lonely Russian makes love to a padlock. Hilarity ensues   (anorak.co.uk) divider line 98
    More: Strange  
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17524 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Mar 2004 at 9:48 PM (10 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-03-12 10:27:56 PM
TwistedTenacity, Mrmustard11, ROFLOL! Shame this thread dosn't have voting enabled!

Man descended from apes? More likely descended from dolphins would be my theory after reading this article. Dolphins are well known for being promiscuious.

/gets popcorn ready for no real good reason
 
2004-03-12 10:28:27 PM
What I'm really curious about is the poll on the right-hand border. How could people possibly find Jamie Oliver offensive, even in jest? He's probably the most affable, least pretentious chef on television today. Except, of course, Alton Brown, though he might not technically be a chef.
 
2004-03-12 10:31:32 PM
I'm guessing about 13 farkers have gone off to find lube, a lock, and wire cutters in case of emergency (to cut their throat in case something goes wrong)

/nothing
 
2004-03-12 10:35:04 PM
 
2004-03-12 10:38:15 PM
Stop 'em with a Schlage, not your schlong, man!
 
2004-03-12 10:46:28 PM
 
2004-03-12 10:49:20 PM
[Dana, possessed by "The Gatekeeper," answers the door.]
Dana Barrett: Are you the Keymaster?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Not that I know of.
[She slams the door in his face. Venkman knocks again.]
Dana Barrett: Are you the Keymaster?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Yes. Actually I'm a friend of his, he asked me to meet him here.
 
2004-03-12 10:49:28 PM
ronaski- I have a copy of that album SIGNED by Sammy.


/fourbucks
 
2004-03-12 10:50:37 PM
Why settle for one when you can have a threesome?

 
2004-03-12 10:50:50 PM
 
2004-03-12 10:55:09 PM
The one safe for work result for the GIS "cock bending"...

 
2004-03-12 10:58:15 PM
Sidi
"The one safe for work result for the GIS "cock bending"..."

why the hell would you put "cock bending" in google image search, you know what you are going to see.
 
2004-03-12 10:58:56 PM
armature
 
2004-03-12 10:59:05 PM
 
2004-03-12 10:59:58 PM
When that article about the woman wearing a chastity belt in Greece was up a couple weeks ago, someone posted a link to a site that included a padlock-based chastity belt.

I think they basically just welded some metal rings to the padlock...

Can't find the site now.

/what a shame.
 
2004-03-12 11:03:42 PM
He discovered that they don't make padlocks like they used to.
 
2004-03-12 11:04:28 PM
you sexy sexxy padlock, let me see you here up close
 
2004-03-12 11:04:33 PM
CAPTAIN HOOK!
 
2004-03-12 11:06:33 PM
 
2004-03-12 11:06:46 PM
vzleon because pretty much all of the results involved women...

*drool*
 
2004-03-12 11:09:33 PM
Vagina dentata...what a wonderful phrase!
Vagina dentata...ain't no passing craze!
It means no weener, for the rest of your days
It's our penis free....philosophy!
Vagina dentata!

(with props and apologies to Aerie and Queen of Wands)
 
2004-03-12 11:14:38 PM
Look, if you can think of something *else* to do with a padlock, I'd like to hear about it.
 
2004-03-12 11:17:45 PM
sidi
you cant trick me you evil bastard!
 
2004-03-12 11:22:13 PM
Girl, please let me stick my key in your ignition, babe
So I can get this thing started and get rollin', babe
See, I'll be doin' about 80 on your freeway
Girl, I won't stop until I drive you crazy

/r. kelly
 
2004-03-12 11:27:35 PM
You know she wanted it. She wanted it bad.
 
2004-03-12 11:44:57 PM
What is his Fark name?
 
2004-03-12 11:49:37 PM
verbatum.

shandling to mulder.
"so are you to the right or to the left, becuase everyone knows a guy isnt right in the middle"
 
2004-03-13 12:05:29 AM
Keeping tabs on the tabloids eh?
 
2004-03-13 12:13:17 AM


How my wife let's me go to strip clubs.
 
2004-03-13 12:25:47 AM
damn... why doesn't "S0VIET RASSIA" shows up?

Cliche filter?
 
2004-03-13 12:43:34 AM
scubatuck
Right handers bend to the right, left handers bend to the left, switch hitter have straight cacks.

Not so. I am completely ambidextrous with respect to this, i alternate hands strictly, and yet it still crooks to the left about 10 degrees.

/wish i had a straight one. at least its above average size, from what i hear. :-/
 
2004-03-13 12:45:27 AM
Stutz where the hell are your balls supposed to fit??
 
2004-03-13 12:50:36 AM
Hmm, I'm right handed and I bend to the left.
When I read this article, I instantly thought of Quagmire from Family Guy heh

"Hello 911"
"Yeah its Quagmire, its in the window this time"
(Quagmire gets his cock slammed in the window)

As far as the use of bolt cutters, I can't imagine that guy let them use them, I shivered when I read that.
 
2004-03-13 12:56:02 AM
stumblemonkey.... they just get squished.

assurance I'll come home early.
 
2004-03-13 01:56:19 AM
Good lordie Stutz...how are you supposed to take a dump in that thing with a 1 inch hole??
 
2004-03-13 02:23:25 AM
I'd hit it.
 
2004-03-13 02:36:22 AM
how are you supposed to take a dump in that thing with a 1 inch hole??
Havent you seen one of those Playdoh machines where you push down the handle and it makes long streams of PlayDoh in different shapes? You get the picture, just consider it Brown PlayDoh.
 
2004-03-13 03:15:02 AM
"Sir, do you dress to the left or to the right??"
 
2004-03-13 03:24:13 AM
That being said, just the thought of a set of bolt cutters anywhere near ManLand would be enuff to close the park.

"POP!!! Nevermind!!! It came off!!! You can put the large, goes through cold steel like a hot knife through butter slip of the wrist I'm emasculated tool back!!! Thanks anyway!!!"
 
2004-03-13 03:46:50 AM
The things people will go through for a quick tumble. He was blinded by those platinum locks. I guess now he will be forced to wedlock.
 
2004-03-13 05:46:10 AM
Christ, no one has made the "whole new meaning to getting your dick bent" joke yet? People are NOT on the ball over spring break.
 
2004-03-13 07:10:50 AM
*wonders why the guy didn't just unlock the padlock?*
 
2004-03-13 09:00:47 AM
"....that damn lock was acting sexy"

/Fark deja vu....
 
2004-03-13 09:29:45 AM
Don't knock it 'til you've tried it, gentlemen.
 
2004-03-13 11:20:31 AM
Don't knock it till you've knocked it?
 
2004-03-13 12:17:52 PM
Half-Cocked

Hilarious header to this article.
 
2004-03-13 02:45:26 PM
too bad the guy aint named. i hav a lonely russain freind who is gay
 
OBB
2004-03-13 08:35:42 PM
Alexander Pope surrenders...

(and I bet no-one will get this reference)
 
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