As the world nervously heads into the year 2000, arent we all looking for a sign from above?

We're still approaching 2000?

Looking at the URL, I'd say this is from 1996.

Obviously they didn't read the billboards all over the place.

"Don't make me come down there"- God

"Ive never asked people for money," he says.

Well that pretty much proves he's not affiliated with an organized religion.

I heard that God almost got arrested for using a $2 bill

The 68-year-old Cuban immigrant, who was born Enrique Silberg, stripped while waiting in line for service so that women could have some type of awareness of God,

like in "the ladies man" where he pulls his schlong out and the aura of God shines down upon his member and angels sing.

All this hoopla over a sky pixie and his glorified cult leader "son".

OOOOH IM SOOOO SCARED!

Next

Holy shiat, may be the OLDEST news ever posted on Fark!

God uses the one million dollar bill. AND IT'S GOOD GOD DAMMIT!!
Whoops.

But the L.A. God says he leads a quiet life. The Times article describes him as living in a small apartment, one floor above his mother

There lies his problem.

Well, now that God has shown himself, can someone ask him why his Official Website is so lame ? At the least, I thought he would explain his reasons behind the platypus ...

Then did he raise on high the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, saying, "Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the people did rejoice and did feast upon the lambs and toads and tree-sloths and fruit-bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals ... Now did the Lord say, "First thou pullest the Holy Pin. Then thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the number of the counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade in the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.



//cut n paste biatches.... :-P

KenH

It has a 2004 copyright on the bottom.
Maybe this is the guy's 96 article and he meant going into the 21st century?

I kinda always knew God was a woman. And that she's a total biatch.

I want my 2 minutes back.

Oh yeah, sure. Now that he's got a hit movie he gets all uppity.

That proves it. There is a God, and whomever disbelieves will die... someday.

well, it's not from 1996. you can tell by changing that number in the address bar. i'm not in the mood to do the math, but that one was the 96th one, and the most recent one is the 295. it is a weekly article. soo i guess it might be 1996. if i was willing to do the math....

Keep taking my name in vain and I'll make rush hour longer.
-God

snowburnt: fnorgby is God?

You know, What if god was one of us?


/deep

As the world nervously heads into the year 2000, arent we all looking for a sign from above? Something to reassure us that we are not alone?



Of course, now that time is going backwards, we are all shiatting our pants and need some sort of reassurance.

Ah yes, another idiot to slowly beat to death...

I'd better write Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny about this. Quick! To the Bat Cave!

please create a dipshiat tag.

TIA.

smite them, smite them all......

Kenh
Looking at the URL, I'd say this is from 1996.

Its not news, It's old as Fark.com

minoridiot

When I posted this I picked Amusing. I am guessing my mouse wheel must have scrolled before clicking submit.

TheStoss
You know how these things happen, one guy tells two friends and they tell two friends and they tell two friends and so on and so on

What? God is on earth in a human body? Quick! Kill God while he's vulnerable!

mishratron

SECOND BROTHER: And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu--
MAYNARD: Skip a bit, Brother.
SECOND BROTHER: And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'

/more better C/P
//has file with Holy Grail script

Would you STFU about fnorgby allready. Jesus f'ing christ. You people really know how to beat a dead horse........I only come to FARK like 2-3 times daily, and read maybe 3 threads a day. Everyone I've read this past week has had some mention of fnorgby in it somewhere. Are you people too stupid to realize that he probably got another SN and he will never write back to you under his old one, no matter how many times you make fun of him??

That's article is as bad as that crap churches put on their marqees to lure suckers in. Goddamn churches!!!

ProgrammerCat

So then a renegade demon can give two fallen angels an idea to prove God wrong and end all existence unless a decendant of Jesus stops them along with two prophets and the 13th apostle?!? Quick, someone call the Pope!

Wait a second....I've heard this somewhere before...

/had to do it, sorry.
//this guy need some real Old Testament smiting. Then we'll see who's God.

For the 99% of people who are misinformed about the phrase, "taking the Lord's name in vain" has nothing to do with using "God" as an interjection, such as "God damn it" or "Jumping Jesus H. Christ on a farking pogostick". The commandment was set as a warning not to make false oaths using God's name. In other words, when you "swear to God", you'd better be telling the truth. So the next time you yell "Jesus!" and someone says you shouldn't take the Lord's name in vain, you can tell them to mind their own God damn business with impunity.

>RyanC829
All this hoopla over a sky pixie and his glorified cult leader "son".

Oh yeah, that's really original. Have some more cheetohs.

Hey "God"?! I met God, I worked with God. God's a friend of mine. You, sir, are no God.

For recreation, he has a coin-operated Asteroids video arcade game in his bedroom.

I always preferred Asteroids to Skee-Ball also.

LostProphetR63

So then a renegade demon can give two fallen angels an idea to prove God wrong and end all existence unless a decendant of Jesus stops them along with two prophets and the 13th apostle?!? Quick, someone call the Pope!

Wait a second....I've heard this somewhere before...

Yeah, so have I. Pretty good movie, though it would have been better with a lesbian scene. :)

Well there goes the name I had picked out for my next kid.

What a 'tard, if his name is really G.O.D then wouldn't his first name really be Guh?

when the fark was this written? he mentions y2k in it...

Fark! I'll have to change my user name! Apparently there is a God.