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(Reuters)   Al Qaeda letter indicates attack on US is 90 percent ready, distinguishes between this letter and previous 48 threatening letters. Author says he's "super duper certain," and vows to give up one of his 72 virgins if he's wrong   (reuters.com) divider line 459
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17522 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Mar 2004 at 5:05 PM (10 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-03-11 05:16:48 PM
Reuters is also now reporting that the letter was
signed "Karallah Rovallah"
 
2004-03-11 05:16:48 PM
Hell, there are more than 72 virgins on Fark alone.
 
2004-03-11 05:17:10 PM
Hell the virgins won't have a clue as to what to do. You'll have to tell them what to do, how to do it, and that stuff is so annoying that it takes the fun out of banging the chick. It kinda proves the whole terrorists are morons hypothesis
 
2004-03-11 05:17:41 PM
According to John F-ing Kerry the UN should protect America. And really we would have alot fewer problems if we were nicer to the terrorists. And the Cold War is over, time to get rid of that pesky CIA, just sitting around scaring people.

Flames, flames!
 
2004-03-11 05:17:47 PM
I, for one, welcome our aspiring terrorist overlords...with a bazooka that is!
 
2004-03-11 05:18:09 PM
RocketRod,
Bush seems to be the one against anti-terrorism investigations. The anti-Bush people seem to be very interested in the current investigation.
 
2004-03-11 05:18:16 PM
This whole "72 virgin" thing makes me wonder what Muslim women have waiting for them in "Heaven".

Well what woman would want 72 male virgins?! I want the more experienced guys, thanks.
 
2004-03-11 05:18:33 PM
Bonkthat_Again

Let's just hope an asteroid impacts the entire region. No more Middle East, no more war.


Hey, that would make a great weapon.
Let's find a decent size asteroid, attach rockets to it, move it into orbit and then if anybody messes with us, we just drop this huge frickin' rock on them.
And best of all, no radiation like nukes.
 
2004-03-11 05:19:15 PM
Why even bother giving 24 hours notice?
 
2004-03-11 05:19:25 PM
Not having the luxury of being anti-Bush, I wonder what all these farkers railing against anti-terrorism investigations...

Apparently the luxury of false premisses is still affordable.
 
2004-03-11 05:19:27 PM
No just the tidal waves and volcanos
 
2004-03-11 05:19:35 PM
And so close to election time....

1. Terrorist attack on homeland/capture Osama B.
2. ???????
3. Profit!
 
2004-03-11 05:19:38 PM
"We bring the good news to Muslims of the world that the expected 'Winds of Black Death' strike against America is now in its final stage...90 percent (ready) and God willing near," the letter said.

In related news, the CIA and FBI are now monitoring Taco Bells throughout the United States.
 
2004-03-11 05:19:48 PM
I got the Plague Wind Fever! Or was it Black Wind Fever? I got the Fever for the Flavor of a Pringles...ah, nevermind.
 
2004-03-11 05:19:54 PM
Winds of Black Death, Death trains..

Are they having a contest? Like which one come with the best death metal band name?
 
2004-03-11 05:20:23 PM
too bad that their 72 virgins are going to be a bunch of dudes in the middle of a dungeons and dragons game in line for the new star wars movie.

'Winds of Black Death'... sounds like what was going on in my bathroom this morning.
 
2004-03-11 05:20:46 PM
I dunno about you, but I think I've found sex much more enjoyable with someone who knows what in the hell they are doing.

72 virgins just seems like it would be far to much explanation, directing, correcting, and the like. Not exactly my idea of how to spend eternity.

Now, 72 nubile 28 year olds, who don't have to be told what to do? Sign me up.
 
2004-03-11 05:20:50 PM
So does this 72 virgin "thing" account for inflation or competition from other religions? For example, if some Christian group offers 80 virgins, can the Muslims match that, or will they just work with the guys who don't get other offers?
 
2004-03-11 05:21:11 PM
Of course, this terrorist attack is totally Bush related. John Kerry wouldn't have anything to gain from an attack on the U.S. near election time, especially when we've had a perfect record on U.S. soil after 9/11.
 
2004-03-11 05:21:16 PM
I wish the world would just end already and get it over with.
 
2004-03-11 05:21:16 PM
ArnoldBabar-I don't think Al Queda ever took responsibility for 9/11. They praised the attacks, etc., but I don't think they ever out-and-out said they did it. In fact, early on, they specifically said they DIDN'T do it.
 
2004-03-11 05:21:35 PM
Nah, we should just find small asteroids, not a big one that'd make the entire Middle East a crater, and just 'let' them impact areas they hold sacred.

/3/4ths kidding
 
2004-03-11 05:21:39 PM
According to CNN the claim was discounted by intelligence officials.
 
2004-03-11 05:21:53 PM
have I missed karls and a coffee+liberals comment yet ?
 
2004-03-11 05:22:07 PM
Terrorists don't understand Math very well.

Lets see, you kill 2,000+ of us.

We kill 200,000+ of you......

That's about right.
 
2004-03-11 05:22:22 PM
ah... I'm reminded of pintoboy's famous comment:


2003-08-08 02:56:04 PM pintoboy
About the 70 virgins the terrorists were supposed to receive. Are these one time use virgins. Use up your 70 and you just have 70 women who are no longer virgins. Or do they just stay virgins no matter how many times you bang them?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------ --
2003-08-08 03:03:55 PM St.Alfonzo
Now we're getting into the subtle complexities of islamic theology.


Now Rayonic has solved the mystery.
 
2004-03-11 05:22:38 PM
Oh great!

the expected 'Winds of Black Death' strike against America

Sounds like airborne plague bacteria.

JAMA says this would be messy:
http://jama.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/full/285/1/30
 
2004-03-11 05:23:19 PM
I predict fake Fark marriages will skyrocket.
 
2004-03-11 05:23:34 PM
one MILLION dollars!
 
2004-03-11 05:23:35 PM
Now, 72 nubile 28 year olds, who don't have to be told what to do? Sign me up.

Right, I signed you up, That's 28 72 year olds ready and waiting.
 
2004-03-11 05:23:37 PM
What the mullahs never mention is that the 72 virgins must STAY virgins. No bonkies in the afterlife, they all just sit around playing jenga.
 
2004-03-11 05:23:50 PM
Trust us, we wouldn't lie to you, would we?

 
2004-03-11 05:24:04 PM
the winds of black death...wasn't that a slayer song?

/got a little, but not enough.
 
2004-03-11 05:24:07 PM
Geotpf,

In subsequent tapes OBL has explicitly taken on responsibility for Al Qaeda masterminding 9/11.
 
2004-03-11 05:24:09 PM
"We bring the good news to Muslims of the world that the expected 'Winds of Black Death' strike against America is now in its final stage...90 percent (ready) and God willing near," the letter said.

Hmm..."black death" is an old name for bubonic plague. Perhaps a biological warfare attack, spreading plague germs via aircraft?

Either that, or they've been watching too many bad kung fu movies.
 
2004-03-11 05:24:11 PM
nubile 72 yr olds ???
 
2004-03-11 05:24:28 PM
So the fact I'm not American doesn't necessarily mean I'm safe?

OHMYGODWHATDOWEDO?WHATDOWEDO?WHATDOWEDO?WHATDOWEDO?WHATDOWEDO?WHATDOWEDO?...

/ad infinitum
 
2004-03-11 05:24:31 PM
The 72 Virginians thing is the Muslim hell.

Trust me, I was in Wal-Mart over there the other day. That's anyone's version of hell.
 
2004-03-11 05:24:43 PM
Geof
They praised the attacks, etc., but I don't think they ever out-and-out said they did it. In fact, early on, they specifically said they DIDN'T do it.

Oh...My...God...

Are you kidding me? They most certainly did claim responsibility for the attacks. As a matter of fact, there is a video of UBL talking with the al-Quaeda "brass" in which he says that the plan went much better than expected and that he was surprised that the towers actually fell. To me, that sounds like taking responsibility.
 
2004-03-11 05:25:08 PM
OH GOD

it appears that our Ms. Cleo intelligence guessed right.

Oh wait, nevermind, the letters are just to bs us.

It Just ain't in da cards, honey girl!
 
2004-03-11 05:26:44 PM
Islam is a pretty kooky religion at times.

I think it is just still trying to grow up. It's a pretty young religion. The Catholics had their "indulgences" thing, and don't get me started on the Mormons.

After their childish phase they settle down and start being pedophiles.
 
2004-03-11 05:27:08 PM
The whole 72 virgin thing is nowhere to be found in the Quran.
Either it's a purely cultural idea, or it's completely made up by the U.S. as part of war propaganda.
It has nothing to do with Islam.
 
2004-03-11 05:27:13 PM
Geotpf

From CNN on April 16, 2002:

An Arabic-language television network has aired a previously unseen videotape of Osama bin Laden showing the accused terrorist mastermind sitting with a top deputy who claims credit for the September 11 attacks in the United States.
 
2004-03-11 05:27:27 PM
I seriously doubt that AQ is going to start warning of actual pending attacks. This is just another 'grab yer duct tape' deal.


"Hmm? What hon? I am typing some stuff on the computer."

"Oh the kids and the dog are in the 'undisclosed location'?

Great...I'll be right there - just grabbing your father's civil war musket collection and the Level 4 Bio Suits!"

/gotta go
 
2004-03-11 05:27:46 PM
No bonkies in the afterlife, they all just sit around playing jenga.

Damn, that sound just like my first two years of college in the dorms.
 
cgs
2004-03-11 05:27:58 PM
Hey, Mikacat, fark off. Easy for you to say "bring it on" -- you probably live in the middle of Bumblefark, Iowa. I live in New York, so when they "bring it on", they're likely to bring it right onto my arse. I can assure you that it is of absoutely no comfort to me that if I'm killed, you will have your "trigger finger" ready. Won't do me an ounce of good.
 
2004-03-11 05:28:00 PM
Does that mean I should be 90% worried?

I love nuclear asshat's formula.
 
2004-03-11 05:28:07 PM
I think Geoff was talking about the Spain attack ...right ?
 
2004-03-11 05:29:37 PM
Geotpf
ArnoldBabar-I don't think Al Queda ever took responsibility for 9/11. They praised the attacks, etc., but I don't think they ever out-and-out said they did it. In fact, early on, they specifically said they DIDN'T do it.

Oh... they said they didn't do it. Well then, we should open our borders up then. Because if they say they didn't do it...

Ya know, i'll bet it was that old man Higgins. He's always eyeing me funny. With his hairy eyebrows and and.. yard gnomes.

Or Bush, because I'm cool if i blame Bush right?
 
2004-03-11 05:29:39 PM
ah, now I understand gopher321 you just want to be the asshat/troll of the thread. Good luck with that :)
 
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