FARK.com: (868979) Al Qaeda letter indicates attack on US is 90 percent ready, distinguishes between this letter and previous 48 threatening letters. Author says he's "super duper certain," and vows to give up one of his 72 virgins if he's wrong

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		Al Qaeda letter indicates attack on US is 90 percent ready, distinguishes between this letter and previous 48 threatening letters. Author says he's "super duper certain," and vows to give up one of his 72 virgins if he's wrong (reuters.com)		459
		More: Dumbass

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17517 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Mar 2004 at 5:05 PM | Favorite | share:

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hack4good		2004-03-11 05:06:55 PM

It's panic time!

themeaningoflifeisnot		2004-03-11 05:07:17 PM

Isn't he already settling for 27 fewer virgins than he's entitled to?

Julieahni		2004-03-11 05:07:40 PM

The shiat has definitely hit the fan.

/ducks

suddenfalter		2004-03-11 05:07:42 PM

72 virgins, no way, he gave sadam up first!

Yodas Ugly Brother		2004-03-11 05:07:44 PM

Isn't this exactly the same article as the one that just went to infinity?

ItstheTRUTH		2004-03-11 05:08:08 PM

Uh oh...

/spaghetti-o's

DustyBottomz		2004-03-11 05:08:17 PM

Maybe they're pissed about McDonald's taking away the SuperSize meals. Those guys are really skinny you know. They need them fries.

gopher321		2004-03-11 05:08:18 PM

WHATDOWEDO?WHATDOWEDO?WHATDOWEDO?WHATDOWEDO?WHATDOWEDO?WHATDOWEDO?WHATDOWE...

Oh wait, I'm not American.

Never mind

coachmcguirk		2004-03-11 05:08:22 PM

the letter was probably written by Bush himself in order to scare his way back into office this fall.

doublesecretprobation		2004-03-11 05:09:07 PM

SWEET!!!!

SherKhan		2004-03-11 05:09:13 PM

Dibs!

san_mal		2004-03-11 05:09:47 PM

Well we know one of the virgins is not Britney Spears or for that matter Paris Hilton (she wide enough to accommodate a group of sherpas apparently).

snowburnt		2004-03-11 05:10:02 PM

I thought it was 72 virginians

GendoIkari		2004-03-11 05:10:05 PM

I'm sure somehow we have to work fnorgby into this thread too. Oh Wait I just did didn't I?

my_morning_jacket		2004-03-11 05:10:17 PM

yay?

ArnoldBabar		2004-03-11 05:11:04 PM

The United States blames al Qaeda for September 2001 attacks on New York on Washington that killed some 3,000 people.

They don't call it a terrorist attack. And they fail to mention that al Qaeda took responsibility. Instead, "The United States blames..."

Classic Reuters.

skinink		2004-03-11 05:11:24 PM

Well while we have a chance before the next attack, I say everyone should go to the nearest Taco Bell and buy a meal with a $2 bill ...

hotnerdychick		2004-03-11 05:11:37 PM

whoopdee frickity doo

Cthulus_Toaster		2004-03-11 05:11:49 PM

Tell America to stop fighting over gay marriage, those dang terrorists are back...

Whotookthisname		2004-03-11 05:11:51 PM

Snowburnt, very nice reference...

beeferoni		2004-03-11 05:11:52 PM

Time for...

ScottMpls		2004-03-11 05:12:11 PM

72 virgin camels? Wow ...

san_mal		2004-03-11 05:12:41 PM

Actually the formula is 2 virgins for every US State, sort of like the US Senate.

/got less than nothin'

Bonkthat_Again		2004-03-11 05:12:59 PM

Let's just hope an asteroid impacts the entire region. No more Middle East, no more war.

estream		2004-03-11 05:13:14 PM

"We bring the good news to Muslims of the world that the expected 'Winds of Black Death' strike against America is now in its final stage...90 percent (ready) and God willing near," the letter said

Shouldn't that be "Allah Willing" instead?

coachmcguirk		2004-03-11 05:13:15 PM

AAWWWW MAN! Why hasn't anyone taken my Flame bait!
Come on people. I suggested that the president himself wrote the letter!

SherKhan		2004-03-11 05:13:16 PM

So if you're a really good Mohammedan you get 72 virgins. If you're just an OK Mohammedan, do you get 70? 50? Is there a sliding scale? Maybe you get the full number just deflowered?

Insane.

uatuba		2004-03-11 05:13:29 PM

I always wondered about the virgins thing. I've studied Islam but I've never been able to ask an Imam about it because it would likely offend him. How can you spend eternity with virgins? I mean, after one hit, they're not virigins any more... Maybe 72 hours is considered eternity...

hotnerdychick		2004-03-11 05:13:36 PM

ScottMpls72 virgin camels? Wow ...

Better than 72 virgin camel toes.

BA DUM BUM!

Mikacat		2004-03-11 05:13:53 PM

Heh- I say bring it on Al Quaeda. We're all locked and loaded now just waiting for this happy itchy trigger finger to have some fun.

darkhorse23		2004-03-11 05:13:54 PM

imagine life as a muslim girl. You can't even talk to men or have sex in this life, and in the next one you have to be a sex slave to a terrorist asshole.

meanvegan		2004-03-11 05:13:56 PM

I thought it was 72 virginians

No, that was a Far Side

Cthulus_Toaster		2004-03-11 05:14:00 PM

Time to start fleeing to Mexico??

uatuba		2004-03-11 05:14:41 PM

Allah means God in Arabic estream. They just decided to translate the whole thing, evidently.

Julieahni		2004-03-11 05:14:47 PM

gopher321: Well, at least Mississauga will be spared. Yippee! :)

/lived in Toronto for a year

Colonel Angus		2004-03-11 05:15:07 PM

I heard they were going to try and elect Kerry

HotWingConspiracy		2004-03-11 05:15:13 PM

All those people that put money on a "red level" alert before the election are wringing their hands with an evil grin right now.

Rayonic		2004-03-11 05:15:15 PM

This whole "72 virgin" thing makes me wonder what Muslim women have waiting for them in "Heaven". Eternity as a sex slave with a constantly-regenerating hymen? Just fantastic.

TheOtherGuyFromWham		2004-03-11 05:15:25 PM

I don't see the incentive. I mean the virgins they're going to get will be either underage or too ugly to get laid in life.

decaf333		2004-03-11 05:15:48 PM

First Afghanistan, then Iraq... next Iran and Syria? Inevitable.
It's no fun to watch though.

Hello_Kthullu		2004-03-11 05:15:50 PM

We better give up and stop living our sinful lives.. lets all curl up into a ball and do nothing that might offend the religion of peace.

fark_tard		2004-03-11 05:15:51 PM

I say we make it well known that after the next catastrophic terror attack against the US, they will have 24 hours to evacuate Mecca and Medina before the missiles launch.

We should also include 24 hours to give them a chance to give us Osama, if he's alive and still on the run, any other Al Quaeda leaders still alive, renounce terrorism, drop plans to pursue nuclear technology in Iran and any other demands that we can think of. If we could get them to do all of this, we wouldn't need to bomb them any further. Of course, these are, from their perspective, unreasonable demands, so they will be rejected. But, the very fact of offering them the opportunity to reject them is good negotiating technique.

Then, if they don't do that, they have 24 hours to evacuate any place we decide to target.

cannotsuggestaname		2004-03-11 05:15:55 PM

gopher321 yup and those poor Spanish folks aren't American either so they were safe too... right? RIGHT?

bleh, this is a global problem, not just an issue with the US.

HoodedWanderer		2004-03-11 05:16:00 PM

Again, the forumla:

The closer to the 2004 election = > Chance of Terrorist event

Timing is a wonderful thing.

snizwilk		2004-03-11 05:16:05 PM

One thing is for certain... the stock market is really going to suck arse tomorrow.

Shani		2004-03-11 05:16:07 PM

Coachmcguirk

I would take the bait . . .
if I didn't agree with you

estream		2004-03-11 05:16:16 PM

Your search - "winds of black death" - did not match any documents.

If Google doesn't know about it - it can't be true.

coachmcguirk		2004-03-11 05:16:16 PM

I haven't seen the "Black Winds of Death" since my last trip to Taco Bell!
::Rimshot::

uatuba		2004-03-11 05:16:16 PM

constantly-regenerating hymen

So that's how it works...

RocketRod		2004-03-11 05:16:42 PM

Not having the luxury of being anti-Bush, I wonder what all these farkers railing against anti-terrorism investigations will say when another attack is committed on US soil.

'Cause if you've been anywhere outside of North America (see: Madrid), you know this stuff happens -- and it's only a matter of time before it hits here.

/all I'm saying is...

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