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(The Smoking Gun)   Meet the One-Million-Dollar-Bill Woman, courtesy of TSG   (thesmokinggun.com) divider line 242
    More: Obvious  
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65079 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Mar 2004 at 9:09 PM (10 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-03-09 01:34:42 PM
Dear God...

I want to vomit on my shoes.

However, I suppose I'm not terribly surprised. Are they sure this is a chick?
 
2004-03-09 01:38:36 PM
Nice mullet.
 
2004-03-09 01:42:23 PM
Whoa, I know a cop that looks just like him...erm, her.....it?!?
 
2004-03-09 01:45:34 PM
When the cops arrested here and took down to the station, do you suppose they let her leave her Camaro in the parking lot, or did she have to pay to have it towed back to her trailer park?
 
2004-03-09 01:48:57 PM
Wal-Mart scares me sometimes.
 
2004-03-09 01:50:26 PM
$1671 ? Damn, that's a lot of Pabst.
 
2004-03-09 01:58:16 PM
Brooke Shields' lesser known ugly twin
 
2004-03-09 01:58:23 PM
Nice eyebrows.

If Groucho Marx and Brooke Shields had a kid, it'd look a lot like her.
 
2004-03-09 01:59:18 PM
I KNEW I shouldn't have looked up the spelling on Brooke's name.

Good call Petra Fyed.
 
2004-03-09 02:00:20 PM
Lucky for her she has that second million $ bill. Now she can afford bail.
 
2004-03-09 02:00:58 PM
It's those wicked unkempt brows! Thanks ElCorridor!
 
2004-03-09 02:13:49 PM
I'm shocked...shocked to see that she has a mullet.
 
2004-03-09 02:22:53 PM
Straight from the meth lab to you ...
 
2004-03-09 02:29:04 PM
Hurrah for mullets!
 
2004-03-09 02:45:42 PM
Good looks and brains, too! What more could you ask for?
 
2004-03-09 02:53:14 PM
The last time I saw eyebrows like that, Annette Benning was farking them, yelling "You're the King!"
 
2004-03-09 02:53:19 PM
Everyone is making fun of her, but it's nice to see that money hasn't gone to her head with fancy clothes or hairstyles.
 
2004-03-09 02:55:26 PM
I can't believe the grammar police haven't lashed out at the submitter yet.
 
2004-03-09 03:08:01 PM
I just wish the husband that gave her the bill was my other SmokingGun favorite The Head.

These two geniuses were made for each other.
 
2004-03-09 03:13:48 PM
yuck.
 
2004-03-09 03:17:13 PM
Alright, so, here's the question: I've met people dumb enough to think she could really pass off a $1 million bill, but someone dumb enough to think they had $998,000 in cash for her change? Wow. That's stunningly stupid.
 
2004-03-09 03:19:53 PM
I dunno which is funnier -- the million dollar bill, or the perfectly legal $2 bill I almost got arrested for spending at a Taco Bell about ten years ago. They called mall security on me, he handcuffed me & called the cops. There were about 30 people standing around, and I was the *only* one who knew the $2 bill was legit -- until the cop showed up.

He was like "WTF?"
They: "This guy just tried to buy food with this..."
Cop: "So?"
They: "It's a TWO DOLLAR bill!"
Cop: "Yeah, I can see that. What's the problem?"
They: "Well, um, it's a TWO DOLLAR bill. There's no such thing as a two dollar bill."
Cop: "What in the hell are you talking about? It's perfectly legal. It's a two dollar bill."
They: "There's no two dollar bill!"
Cop: etc...

I got a free burrito, and one of the best laughs of my life.
 
2004-03-09 03:26:52 PM
fnorgby
That story sounds familiar. Have you ever told it in a different thread?
 
2004-03-09 03:32:36 PM
I'd hit it...with a bat. After seeing the picture I no longer doubt that she thought this would actually work.
 
2004-03-09 03:40:29 PM
Holy shiat I hope she had make-up in that cart.

That's a man!
 
2004-03-09 04:09:56 PM
Yeah, fnorgby, sounds familiar to me too.

And sweet jeebus that woman is scary looking!
 
2004-03-09 04:14:24 PM
The world has truely become a horrible place.
 
2004-03-09 04:26:07 PM
I seem to recall that fnorgby told that story in a thread about... hmm... setting off theft alarms in stores maybe?
 
2004-03-09 04:28:27 PM
Looks like a typical Wal-Mart shopper.

WTF is she smiling about?
 
2004-03-09 05:11:03 PM
She's having her picture taken, silly. Didn't your momma raise you to smile for the camera? And she's queen for a day! Probably the most attention she's every gotten in her life, poor thing.
 
2004-03-09 05:49:42 PM
she's smiling because "they'll never find out about the one I stuck up my ass"
 
2004-03-09 06:29:15 PM
Thanks for the imagery, colomboy. Now I'm not hungry for dinner.
 
2004-03-09 07:34:22 PM
I first saw the Taco Bell $2 bill story several years ago on rec.humor.funny. 1996 from the looks of the URL.
http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/96q1/2bill.html

fnorgby?
 
2004-03-09 07:41:00 PM
it's kinda bullshiat that they're charging her with forgery.. I mean you can buy $1 million bills at joke shops and stuff. Did they resize it or something?
 
2004-03-09 09:13:31 PM
Yeah she has that millionaire look to her
 
2004-03-09 09:16:09 PM
Somehow, I have this sickening feeling that this lady and her travelin hubby are going to make a few bucks off this stunt - maybe a story in the Sun or ? Just a sickening feeling, ok?
 
2004-03-09 09:16:50 PM
Gotta love white trash.....
 
2004-03-09 09:16:50 PM
I think I just threw up in my mouth. How did I know she was gonna have a femullet? Now, if somebody could get a list of items she purchased that would be comedy, guaranteed.
 
2004-03-09 09:17:30 PM
Mom???
 
2004-03-09 09:18:19 PM
Dad???
 
2004-03-09 09:18:33 PM
She really bushed it with that economic sense.
 
2004-03-09 09:18:40 PM
Got to love the what-me-worry-ness of that smile.
 
2004-03-09 09:18:57 PM
Okay, she tried to use a fake one-million dollar bill. At Wal-Mart. The idea of thinking you could pass off a $1 million dollar bill as real is silly enough, but to expect someone else to buy that you would cash that in at Wal-Mart makes you the dumbest person alive.
 
2004-03-09 09:19:28 PM
She looks like one of the chicks my husband's best friend
'picks up' when he goes 'hoggin'

And yes...I'm aware that the concept is frightening. Very, very frightening.
 
2004-03-09 09:19:46 PM
I hope she was trying to buy $1671 worth of lip-waxing kits.

And a paper bag.
 
2004-03-09 09:21:01 PM
She's got a mullette.

I'd hit it, though. With a nine-iron.
 
2004-03-09 09:22:01 PM
Yup. Very much typical of the people I see when I bravely and stupidly venture into Wal-Mart.
 
2004-03-09 09:22:39 PM
I always love hearing about these sort of things.
The local flavor of this one make me smile even more, just in a different, sadder way.
 
2004-03-09 09:24:27 PM
This woman is a complete tard. And that's giving tards a bad name. I almost believe she (subconciously?) wanted to get arrested. That's just plain stupid. She's dumb as a post, or taking WAY too many drugs...I almost want to call "shenanigans" on this one...


fugly too
 
2004-03-09 09:25:06 PM
fnorgby

That's such an old story that has been retold many atime. Why lie on fark threads to impress people?
 
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