Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Detroit Free Press)   Campfires should always be placed outside of your tent   ( divider line
    More: PSA  
•       •       •

6020 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Mar 2004 at 10:30 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

23 Comments     (+0 »)
2004-03-07 10:32:45 PM  
what the hall did Smokey the Bear say?
2004-03-07 10:35:17 PM  
Maybe he couldn't get a free room at the local jail like our beloved Henry Earl, so he opted for a hospital stay instead!!??!!
2004-03-07 10:35:26 PM  
What can I say... this is sound advice.
2004-03-07 10:35:36 PM  
Smokey always said, "Remember, kids, only you can help Akbar avoid traps!"
2004-03-07 10:36:42 PM  
what the hall did Smokey the Bear say?

he laughed his ass off and then went and got drunk.
2004-03-07 10:43:18 PM  
OMG OMG NO C4mp1nG U No0B! OMFG C4mp3r F4990t!!!1111111
2004-03-07 10:44:32 PM  
Nylon tent + fire inside = Seal-A-Meal
2004-03-07 10:45:04 PM  
Another drunken homeless guy lit himself on fire. Oboy.

What did Smokey the Bear say? "I surrender."
2004-03-07 10:46:30 PM  
Sounds like Bumfights II is in production!
2004-03-07 10:46:56 PM  
2004-03-07 10:47:44 PM  

/at least hopes so
//didn't rtfa
2004-03-07 10:47:54 PM  
But what if it was Henry Earl???!?
2004-03-07 10:57:20 PM  
Further investigation showed no evidence of gasoline having been used to start the fire. The flames were sparked by the homeless man himself, who, while sitting in a puddle of his own highly flammable 90 proof urine, began applying far too much friction to a small piece of wood.

The burn victim is now planning to sue a local convenience store for contributing to his accident. "If their security wasn't so f--king lax," he asserted, "I'd never have f--king been able to swipe that 'Lesbian Cheerleader Pudding Wrestlemania' magazine and now I wouldn't have a f--king burnt matchstick and two lumps of coal instead of a ----. They're a f--king embarrassment to the whole f--king Qwickie Mart industry."

Mr. Apu, owner of the Qwickie Mart in question, could not be reached for comment.
2004-03-07 11:08:51 PM  
EdgeRunner -

"...the homeless man himself, who, while sitting in a puddle of his own highly flammable 90 proof urine, began applying far too much friction to a small piece of wood."

I think I just wet myself :)
2004-03-07 11:31:58 PM  

Usually when I pitch a tent, I'm already on fire, but this is rediculous.

Satisfaction (uhu hu hu) came in the chain reaction,
(burnin') I couldn't get enough, (till I had to self-destroy)so I had to self destruct, (uhu hu hu);
The heat was on (burnin'), rising to the top, huh!
Everybody's goin' strong (uhu hu hu),
And that is when my spark got hot,
I heard a squirell say:

Burn baby burn! - Camp gear inferno!
Burn baby burn! - Burn that mama down, yoh!

2004-03-07 11:42:58 PM  
90 proof urine?
sweet jesus.

I think this guy might put good ole' Henry Earl to shame
2004-03-07 11:59:19 PM  
The man, who police said was highly intoxicated when authorities found him, had apparently been living in the tent for some time

Luckily he got put out, poor bastard would have burned for days
2004-03-08 12:18:15 AM  
What was he drinking? I use my urine to put fires _out_ not start them...
2004-03-08 12:20:44 AM  
In other news, dropping your lit crack-pipe on flammable surfaces remains a bad plan.
2004-03-08 12:24:10 AM  
Because it seems somehow necessary:

[image from too old to be available]
2004-03-08 12:38:14 AM  
2004-03-08 12:46:51 AM  
Read the article. No idea what you guys are talking about.
2004-03-08 12:50:23 AM  
Fire officials responded to a 911 call early Saturday morning from a man who said he was on fire.

i kind of feel bad for laughing as hard as i did when i read this.
Displayed 23 of 23 comments

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.