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(Telegraph)   France's military is so weak the country could hardly defend itself if attacked.   ( divider line
    More: Obvious  
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6123 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Dec 2001 at 3:52 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

164 Comments     (+0 »)

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2001-12-17 04:26:34 PM  
France has its own nuclear-powered aircraft carrier? Who knew?
2001-12-17 04:27:57 PM  
12-17-01 04:18:37 PM Slippy
Remember the stupid wall between France and Germany

Eh. You mean the Maginot Line, and it wasn't really a "wall" - it was a network of defensive positions, highly advanced and very powerful set up to deflect a direct German assault. It stretched roughly from the Ardennes to Switzerland and from the Alps to the Mediterranean, with focal points of strength and periodic outposts.

Unfortunately, the forest of the Ardennes was not quite as impassable as the French had believed, and Hitler simply pulled the old switcheroo and went around the line.

And, for political reasons, France could not extend the lina along the Belgian border, while, again for political reasons, Belgium would not allow French and British troops into the country to defend them.
2001-12-17 04:28:17 PM  
2001-12-17 04:28:27 PM  
Did someone ask for an FAQ on the French nuclear arsenal? No?

Oh well:

I work with French people and have worked with loads of other nationalities. I can say with confidence that French people aren't the worst. Also, they're easy to pick on if you're bored or drunk.
2001-12-17 04:28:33 PM  
Hey, at least they have lots of happy, friendly people!
2001-12-17 04:29:22 PM  
Isn't it nice, in these times of strife and petty bickering between nations, cultures, and schools of thought, that there is someting that brings us all together--

Hatred of the French.

...and a love of c&b torture.
2001-12-17 04:29:43 PM  
I thought this was one of the best parts:
"Of course only 12 planes are on standby to fly as part of the air defence mission. No country has all its entire air force on red alert 24 hours a day, 365 days a year," a spokesman said.

However, Pierre Dabezies, a military expert and adviser to Jean-Pierre Chevenement, the former interior minister, said that at the military air base at Metz "half the planes aren't able to fly".

So they have about 500 planes total, 200 on order, and 6 that they can fly to defend...

2001-12-17 04:29:45 PM  
I wish he had the luxury of spending zero national tax dollars on a military and be able to depend on protection for the world's nastiest military.....
Think of how nice our school's would be..
Free college...
We coiuld live like Saudi kings
2001-12-17 04:30:05 PM  
Quebec surrenders.....
2001-12-17 04:30:49 PM  
Demo and Beav the Fark filter will not let you do rotten dot com, everyone simply take out the _ and put in the "."

BTW its not really worth seeing ;)
2001-12-17 04:31:57 PM  
There should be an OXYMORON tag - French Military? HAHAHAHAHA!
2001-12-17 04:35:11 PM  
torture de robinet et de boule
2001-12-17 04:38:27 PM  
France now has within in its grasp technology that allows it to execute a superhyper-surrender. One powered by the miracle of nuclear fusion. They can, quiet literally, surrender at the speed of light.
2001-12-17 04:39:45 PM  
Sounds like they are ripe for the picking! Farkistan declares war on France!
2001-12-17 04:39:51 PM  
Rabbito: LOL I'm gonna start using cock and ball torture in conversation now
2001-12-17 04:41:22 PM  
I'm reminded now of a quote from the great Mayor Quimby "I stand by my ethnic slur, do your worst you pretentious frenchmen!"
2001-12-17 04:42:28 PM  
Bush said that any country that harbors terrorists or aids terrorists must be considered terrorist. France harbors terrorists, and is the most vocal opponent of the US attempting to give the death penalty to the first terrorist we have taken into custody for the 9-11 attacks (he was from france of course). They want him to be tried in France. (even though he was arrested for things in the US, not in france. stupid frogs)Therefore the only logical conclusion is that we bomb the shiat out of France.
Ignorant little surrender monkeys.

btw-they still have not paid back a penny of their debts to us from WWII. Denmark is the only country to pay us back in full.
2001-12-17 04:42:30 PM  
If that's the way you like it Rosalea.
2001-12-17 04:42:47 PM  
"Just once, do yo think you could keep the snails off the food!?"
2001-12-17 04:43:46 PM  
rabbito: Just have to say, who had their a$$es handed to them on a platter?

PUCK the french!
2001-12-17 04:45:26 PM  
Rosalea: I fell in love with that phrase the second I read it, use it often and proudly my friend

2001-12-17 04:46:24 PM  
cork and bowl torch you're
2001-12-17 04:46:49 PM  
Teriaki: I was waiting for you to turn up somewhere and as sad as it is, I stopped watching after the 2nd period, props to the Sharks

2001-12-17 04:47:00 PM  
If defence experts are saying it, it must be true.
2001-12-17 04:47:07 PM  
Rabbito: yeah I was rather taken with it too. Just took you saying it many times to convince me it could indeed be used in conversation
2001-12-17 04:47:23 PM  
Are they sure they don't mean the Canadian military? God, I hope I never have to deal with those guys ever again. The only military in the world to openly support their own traitors.
2001-12-17 04:48:08 PM  
France's military is so weak the country could hardly defend itself if attacked

Could hardly? It can't at all! It's proved that on several occasions.

This is what happens when you let left-wing socialists run a country.
2001-12-17 04:48:30 PM  
Rabb Kudos to you for the gracious props. I actually felt kinda bad that we dominated so amazingly....maybe next time

2001-12-17 04:49:38 PM  
Rosalea: Great, I love influencing others!

2001-12-17 04:49:50 PM  
Denmark surrendered after 9 hours in ww2, must be a record of some sort.
Proving once again that it's the thought that counts.

Also, Denmark of course is where Lars Ulrich is from.
2001-12-17 04:51:02 PM  
Actually, it's a pretty well known fact that The Onion originally came up with "France Surrenders". The question of who posted it second-hand is moot.
2001-12-17 04:51:31 PM  
I'm free next weekend, how about you guys?
2001-12-17 04:53:12 PM  
Rabbito: you're a trend setter. Cock and Ball torture is going to end up a popular phrase. The center for profanity is going to write a paper on the harmful affects
2001-12-17 04:55:07 PM  
Rosalea: I dunno about trend setter, more like a jackass with random acts of irresistable genius. As far as a popular phrase, we will only be certain when it is filtered.

2001-12-17 04:58:20 PM  
This just in: Upon release of this report, France surrendered.
2001-12-17 04:58:32 PM  
This is even funnier:
[image from wtf.rotten_com too old to be available]
2001-12-17 04:59:02 PM  
Damnit, here's the link:
Boy with Jeebus
2001-12-17 04:59:41 PM  
Rabb: yeah filtering is the only way to know when its popular. I'll make it one of my personal quests to help get it filtered now *grins*
2001-12-17 05:00:45 PM  
Rosalea: I appreciate it and gladly join you in the effort

2001-12-17 05:02:56 PM  
Speaking of France, and how the country sucks, and how the Germans periodically go and kick frog ass... and the phrase of the day:

I present to you, review of Cock and Ball Torture's 1998 CD, "Cocktales. Yes, CBT is a German band, natch. Hooray for Google!
2001-12-17 05:03:03 PM  
What France needs is to set up a Secret Weapon X program like Canada did. Who needs a navy or air force when you have farking wolverine and sabertooth?
2001-12-17 05:03:20 PM  
Rabb:thought I was joining you in the effort. not the other way around
2001-12-17 05:04:09 PM  
wait a minute.. don't they still have the Maginot line?
2001-12-17 05:04:21 PM  
As World Citizen, I hate no nation of people--except the French. Oh, sure some governments of the world suck, but usually the people living in those nations are good people--except the French. Damn rude bastards. Mind you, I'm not the most nationalistic American around, but it's sad that the only source of French pride seems to be "standing up" to the US and always voting against us and getting in our way. Oh yeah, and also making laws so that their language won't be corrupted by English. So basically, they are admitting that their language needs LAWS to protect it--sad.
2001-12-17 05:05:28 PM  

Perhaps we could have England take over France, absorb the GIGN (perhaps the only respectable part of the French "military") into the SAS, and then use what used to be France as some giant training ground for US SOCOM, SAS, and GSG-9 forces in a real-life Rainbow Six.

Ummm nevermind...I think I've been playing too many computer games lately.

*puts down the crack pipe now*
2001-12-17 05:05:45 PM  
Rose: well, I am very worthless and weak, plus you are far easier to look at than I no doubt...we can just be co-founders if you wish

2001-12-17 05:08:23 PM  
ahh the cock and ball torture trend is already taking off, check out the latest post

2001-12-17 05:09:19 PM  
Anyone remember the link to that "ways to attack France" website from this summer?
2001-12-17 05:11:19 PM  
wait a minute.. don't they still have the Maginot line?

Yes, but it's not what it used to be.

[image from too old to be available]
2001-12-17 05:12:42 PM  
JOHNDX: Hey it was humorous, and fark mods are adding the "_"

daz: Jeebus is funny
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