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(AP) NewsFlash Martha Stewart found guilty of obstructing justice and lying to the government. Residency in federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison thought not to be a good thing   ( divider line
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19277 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Mar 2004 at 3:06 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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464 Comments     (+0 »)

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2004-03-05 03:48:46 PM  
2004-03-05 03:47:19 PM Testicleus
Martha probably realizes by now that she won't have access to razor blades and

Gotta give it to Testicleus for keeping his priorities straight...
= )
2004-03-05 03:48:51 PM  
vw1972bug: She will not do time people!!!!

She has to do time. She's in the Federal Sentencing Guidelines grid now, and not getting time isn't one of the options for where she fits in the grid.
2004-03-05 03:48:57 PM  
I bet she goes to a minimum security federal prison/golf course. Man I wish OZ was still on HBO. I would love to see a "ripped from the headlines" episode about this.
2004-03-05 03:49:24 PM  
wont SOMEONE come up with a witty joke about her decorating things in jail cells? please? anybody? that would be really funny. kthx.
2004-03-05 03:49:42 PM  
You don't have to be an insider to be charged with trading on inside information.

VERY hard to prove. No evidence she knew anything about FDA. Knowing Sam W. was dumping his shares is not inside info., though the broker could be censured by NASD.

She will likely be barred from a position with a public company and fined.
2004-03-05 03:49:51 PM  
Ladies & Gentlemen, sanity has left the building.
2004-03-05 03:49:57 PM  
Lying to the government is a crime...

Lying to the people is a presidency...
2004-03-05 03:50:10 PM  
i think there was a little issue of tampering with evidence they just couldnt overlook
2004-03-05 03:50:21 PM  
2004-03-05 03:35:01 PM

And until a half hour ago, the biggest topic of discussion in corporate America was about how Omarosa got canned last night.

Yeah... the past 24 hours really haven't been good for uptight biatches. At least Martha's an uptight biatch with talent and a hardworking attitude, though.

/was so, so happy to see Omarosa go. hoping Heidi wins. or Kwame
2004-03-05 03:50:24 PM  
Many of you act like it's a given she'll serve time. Not likely. And if she doesn't get off through appeal, or get it reduced to near-nothingness, what few months she serves will be in a place nicer than most motels the average Farker stays in. Her chances of encountering Big Bertha as her cellie are zero. Whoop-de-freakin-doo.
2004-03-05 03:50:32 PM  
According to

"The charges carry up to 20 years in prison, but under federal sentencing guidelines, Stewart will probably get much less than that. Sentencing is set for June 17."
2004-03-05 03:50:33 PM  
Thanks cokemonkey - as I get ready for an Economics final exam - I am reading FARK - them's some priorities!
2004-03-05 03:50:35 PM  
2004-03-05 03:49:24 PM punkennedys
wont SOMEONE come up with a witty joke about her decorating things in jail cells? please? anybody? that would be really funny. kthx.

Ill do you one better:
Id hit it!
/I feels your pain
2004-03-05 03:50:38 PM  
punkennedys: you need to read the thread - it's there.
2004-03-05 03:50:39 PM  
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2004-03-05 03:50:43 PM  
I don't feel sorry for anyone who commits a crime, which she did. I do agree that there is a certain amount of scapegoating taking place, but who didn't expect that?
Look, using the "everyone does it" plea doesn't make it right. Otherwise Adolph Eichmann would be walking around...
Everyone does it is a rationalization, not a mitigation. Does she deserve the verdict? Probably. Is she a villain? Probably not. But that isn't the basis of judgement.

If I steal bread because I'm hungry, I'm still stealing. If I trade 100 shares of stock because I get some insider tips, then I'm engaging in some kind of conspiracy. If I get caught and try to hide the evidence and lie, then I'm even MORE guilty.

I don't care who else is doing it, I don't care if she's a nice person (she's not, by the way), I don't care what anyone thinks about her being a scapegoat. She committed a crime. Pure and simple. Case closed...well, open under appeal, but that's a lost cause.
2004-03-05 03:50:44 PM  

I see. So, for example, I trade on the stock market. How was I harmed? I didn't see my portfolio decline, except in the areas where the outlook of companies is dropping because of the expectation of excessive corporate governance laws.

Okay, I'm 100% with you on the excessive laws. You're dead-on accurate with that. But while your personal portfolio might not have been directly hurt, your potential earnings were hurt by the fact that you don't have inside knowledge. Hypothetical scenario: I'm Bill Gates. I decide that Microsoft is going to buy Consolidated Wombat's new wombat-auditing software next week. I call a billionaire friend of mine and tell him to put a few hundred million in CW. Maybe it's his money and I want a percentage, maybe I give him the money via back channels and let him place the trade for me. The next week the news gets out, CW's stock soars, my friend and I make a hefty profit. Then six months later, my friend shorts a few zillion shares, then I announce that we can't make CW software work, so we're selling off the company. The stock tanks and profit ensues again.

In those cases, Joe Stockholder's portfolio might be whipsawed because of the changes, so he loses directly. But everyone else is denied the ability to make that kind of money, which makes Gates even stronger in terms of both market control and sheer assets, which makes it less likely that anybody else will make those kinds of gains, which hurts everybody.
2004-03-05 03:50:46 PM  
Martha Stewart was found guilty of being a Democrat.

KennyBoy Lay stole more $$$, but benefits from being connected to dictator Bush and his gang of criminals.

Don't worry...we'll address all these problems in the upcoming civil war.

/Bring it on.
2004-03-05 03:50:51 PM  

just watch L&O: SVU. same thing, what with Dean Winters, BD Wong, Christopher Meloni (albeit slightly less gay), etc.
2004-03-05 03:51:02 PM  
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2004-03-05 03:51:34 PM  
DrToast: You were probably one of the people saying she wouldn't get convicted. Get a grip, dude.

Actually I could care less if she goes to jail or not.
I just don't think she will, because of her celebrity.
I will be geniunely surprised if she does indeed go to prison, and will buy you a beverage of your choice if she does. :P
2004-03-05 03:51:43 PM  
believe that if it's a law, you need to follow it. If you don't, then you face the consequences.

So you'd follow the laws in 1850 America about returning escaped slaves? You'd follow the laws in 1939 Germany? You'd follow the laws in the USSR? You'd follow the laws about how to treat women in Saudi Arabia?
2004-03-05 03:52:37 PM  
5 to 10 years...Its a good thing.
2004-03-05 03:52:45 PM  
She's planning to appeal, but analysts are saying that her counts of false statements and obstruction of justice are likely to deny her that appeal.

And her stock is down $2.73 last I looked.
2004-03-05 03:52:46 PM  
They should turn her prison sentence into a reality show. That would roxor.
2004-03-05 03:54:11 PM  
perfect!!! funny!!! love it!!!
2004-03-05 03:54:23 PM  
Can a female be 'pounded in the ass'? I mean in a gay sort of way. Because, thats the implication.

I suppose the equivalent would be being forced to eat out some fat chick who doesn't bathe and wipes the wrong way.
2004-03-05 03:54:32 PM  
For those of you who are interested, the U.S. Attorney who originally brought these charges is a guy named James Comey. He is now the Deputy Attorney General of the United States, Ashcroft's #2.

And so, today, with Ashcroft's pancreas trying to pass a stone, Mr. Comey is in charge of the DOJ.

Remember his name, because he is a quickly rising star in the GOP. Very possible to be a candidate for NY governor or U.S. Senator from NY in the next 4 years.

[image from too old to be available]
2004-03-05 03:54:49 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2004-03-05 03:54:51 PM  
Even if she doesn't get jailtime -- which I find hard to believe, seeing as she was a board member on the NYSE and a former stockbroker herself - I don't think she'll ever be allowed to head up a public corporation.

Current realtime quote:
2004-03-05 03:55:17 PM  
Im glad I shorted the stock, er um if I had money I would have done that
2004-03-05 03:55:21 PM  
>>I agree with you. I think this is ridiculous. This kind of crap happens every day. She's an easy target because she's a successful business woman. I don't get why people hate her so much.

So in your world the people with inside sources can rape the system [the market] and the rest of us just earn our salaries and squeak by?
2004-03-05 03:55:31 PM  
"I don't get why people hate her so much" about because she's a lying, skeeving biatch. Or are we to believe she had a preexisting arrangement to sell her stock at a certain price. That argument seems kinda like sayin "It wasn't me, it was someone who looked like me." Fortunatley, the jury wasn't that gullible.
2004-03-05 03:55:32 PM  
2004-03-05 03:50:38 PM chickaboom

punkennedys: you need to read the thread - it's there.

hey, welcome to Sarcasm.
2004-03-05 03:55:39 PM  
Dammit, Fark doesn't like https urls
2004-03-05 03:55:49 PM  
I wonder if she'll try the oral sex defense during her appeal?
2004-03-05 03:55:52 PM  
iollow---I suppose the equivalent would be being forced to eat out some fat chick who doesn't bathe and wipes the wrong way.

So she'll be shacked up with Rosie O'Fattle then?
2004-03-05 03:55:53 PM  
Does anybody else find it funny that the same people who rail against the unfairness of lowering taxes for the rich often defend people like Martha Stewart when they do things like this?

It's like if someone is rich, NOT famous, and not a criminal then they are evil money-grubbing bastards who don't deserve to live... But if they are rich, famous, AND a criminal, then they are wonderful people who made a minor mistake and should be forgiven. WTF?
2004-03-05 03:56:08 PM  
Victimless crime. This is a miscarriage of justice.
2004-03-05 03:56:16 PM  

I agree with you. I think this is ridiculous. This kind of crap happens every day. She's an easy target because she's a successful business woman. I don't get why people hate her so much.

As somebody else pointed out, Martha Stewart is a self-made woman. She earned every dime she has by selling an image many people want to attain and selling the means to attain that image. That is why a lot of people hate her, because they envy her.

As for the prosecutor, I remember that asshat claiming that he originally charged Stewart with obstruction chargers because she maintained that she was not guilty of insider trading. So, even though American jurispendence has operated on a presumption of innocence (innocent until proven guilty), claiming in public that you are innocent can get you charged with perjury and obstruction.

Dr. Tibor R. Machan has written a better and more eloquent defense of Martha Stewart than I have time to compose at the moment.
2004-03-05 03:57:49 PM  
She deserves what is coming to her.
2004-03-05 03:58:54 PM  
Somebody said: "She got nailed for pretty much the same thing they let ol' crazy Bill get away with a few years back."

Not quite. She was convicted of making a false statement in an investigation, not while under oath. Bill was charged with perjury - lying under oath. Much more serious.
2004-03-05 03:59:53 PM  
Was this case overblown? Absolutely. It was about 4,000 shares of stock. Nothing remotely close Ken Lay & Co. did.

But, Martha decided to make her career a high profile one. She could have just been a private caterer in Connecticut, but she wanted to be in the public eye constantly (TV, print, etc.) You choose to be that public, you're going to get people who want to make an example of you.
2004-03-05 03:59:55 PM  
Finaly her stocks are starting to TANK FAST!!!!

2004-03-05 04:00:38 PM  
Strangely, I too feel that this might be unjust. Then again, if anybody was in a good position to cheat the system and get away with it (due to her knowledge, connections and resources), it was her. So on second thought, no mercy.
2004-03-05 04:00:39 PM  
I'm tired of this "it's because she's a woman" argument too. What about Ken Lay, what about that guy who gave himself up the other day from Worldcom. She's guilty. Sex has nothing to do with it.
2004-03-05 04:00:42 PM  
Can she show me how to make a useful and attractive doilie from used dental floss?
2004-03-05 04:01:03 PM  
MSO closed at 10.87, down 3.16 for the day. Not bad, considering.
2004-03-05 04:01:16 PM  
Kudos aerosoul.
2004-03-05 04:01:22 PM  
You know what's better than Conjugal visit sex? FUGITIVE SEX!

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