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(Some Guy) Audio Fun Jesus Chainsaw Massacre parody (middle of page) (possibly not safe for work)   (x1023.com) divider line 118
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7980 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Mar 2004 at 1:40 PM (10 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-03-05 02:54:31 PM  
HA! OsirisOTheDead you owe me a new soda...
 
2004-03-05 02:56:08 PM  
I must admit...

as a performance artist, I'm somewhat intrigued by the concept of "right wing performace art."

Photoshop?
 
2004-03-05 02:57:47 PM  
Man, I'm not even getting a k a second on this download.
 
2004-03-05 02:58:46 PM  
RDS
Actually it seems that the Mormons, Jehovah Witnesses, and Scientologists get beaten like step children whenever they pop into the news. I am sure the Amish would get a beating too if they stopped minding their own business and made some headlines.

It's just that there are a lot more uber-Christians of one strain or another are always doing something silly in the news.
 
2004-03-05 02:58:50 PM  
RDS

To quote The Terminator
"relax"

like Colsanders said, the joke title makes fun of the ultraviolent delivery, not of the story itself.
 
2004-03-05 03:03:04 PM  
"Biggotry comes in a lot of forms ladies and gents."

yes, "bigotry", for one.
 
2004-03-05 03:03:17 PM  
Microbe, it's just a movie. You're saying there are no sacred cows in comedy, but 'at least be funny'; but then saying that making fun of Jesus is weak (and as I read into that, inherently not funny).

So can a joke about Jesus or religion be funny? But even then, as MajorRoss said, it's making fun of the movie, not Jesus. As bloody as that movie was, 'Jesus Chainsaw Massacre' is pretty apt. If you're equating the movie with the Bible (since it's such a faithful adaptation), and reading into it that people are making fun of Christ's suffering and death (which even an atheist should acknowledge actually happened), don't. It's making fun of Mel Gibson's movie. People are looking at the movie as if it were divine, and getting extremely emotionally and spiritually attached to it (like that poor woman that had a heart attack during a screening). But that's not my fault.

 
2004-03-05 03:05:52 PM  
xianity, for another.
 
2004-03-05 03:07:40 PM  
tallguywithglasseson:

Well, not quite. As an atheist, there is no doubt in my mind that some guy named Yeshua was crucified by the Romans. Just as I'm sure the US has executed some guy named "John". However, I don't believe the Jesus of the gospels ever existed.
 
2004-03-05 03:07:48 PM  
when these xians squeal and moan about being bashed, it reveals their lack of connection with their religion.

you signed up for this when you sold your soul to jerry falwell.

but hey, at least they're not feeding you to the lions, pussy.
 
RDS
2004-03-05 03:09:29 PM  
son of secret police

Pardon the spelling mistake...finger got jumpy on the 'g'. Didn't know the spelling police would be out today.
 
2004-03-05 03:10:33 PM  
"Didn't know the spelling police would be out today."

SON OF spelling police to you, pal.
 
RDS
2004-03-05 03:13:09 PM  
son of secret police

Maybe you don't realize it, but there are ministries out there that have Jesus Christ as the head of their church, not some overblown preacher on television. Christians get it right when they get back to basics.
 
2004-03-05 03:14:31 PM  
Christians get it right when they get back to basics.

Like making women shut up in Church like Paul told the church in Corinth those arrogant little strumpets should?
 
2004-03-05 03:14:40 PM  
You guys are F.O.S. I saw that movie last night and it was dramatic, intense, and very heavy. You creeps who disrespect others' beliefs then talk about treating others with respect are the essence of hypocracy. Democrats / Liberals, I'm looking in your direction.

/agnostic
 
2004-03-05 03:15:59 PM  
"Maybe you don't realize it, but there are ministries out there that have Jesus Christ as the head of their church, not some overblown preacher on television. Christians get it right when they get back to basics."

and yet, members of those churches don't seem to bleat and cry and piss and moan about being persecuted. xians get it right when they STFU and start loving their neighbors.
 
2004-03-05 03:16:35 PM  
It's okay...Christianity seems to be the last religion you can openly bash without having an anti-defamation suit slapped on you or being labelled a bigot.

Yeah, because nobody ever cracks jokes about the Jews anymore. Especially Christians.

And for what it's worth, part of the reason that Christianity is such a target for hostility is its damned insistence on pushing itself on innocent bystanders. While not every Christian does it, there are enough people going around telling people they must "find Jesus or burn in hell" to garner resentment. Though I personally try to avoid even getting into it whenever possible, I still see enough obnoxious bumper stickers to make me somewhat sympathetic to the resentful crowd.

8 years Catholic grade school, by the way, and 4 years Jesuit high school. Along the way I decided that the J-man was pretty hip for his time, but the Church today has little to do with that - it's a political organization with its own agenda and a seriously twisted history. So many Christians fit right into that by adopting whatever moral values are convenient to their lives, and discarding the rest - something that pretty much every human does in deciding the way he or she wants to live. The infuriating part is the self-righteousness people have in taking a moral high ground on an issue when they can claim to have their religion behind them - regardless of how many of their other choices don't follow Church doctrine. One very common example - people willing to have premarital sex with birth control, but will suddenly become fervently religious if unwanted pregnancy occurs and abortion becomes an issue. In that example, if you don't like abortion, fine, but have your own reasons for it and stand by them - don't hide behind your religion to justify your personal beliefs.

Anyway, all that said, "Jesus Chainsaw Massacre" is still NOT an assault on Christianity. It's poking fun at Mel Gibson's approach to filmmaking. That's all. Quit whining.
 
2004-03-05 03:17:16 PM  
tallguywithglasseson,

I guess I'm just already sick of hearing about it. I don't plan on seeing the movie, don't care to. Jokes with Jesus in them can be funny, and making fun of this movie might be funny to some. But I am sick of it. It seems hackneyed and weak. Just like that "Jeebus" thing that was funny for about .5 seconds.

attractive and successful African-American jokes can be funny too, but they are still old and busted and inflamatory, so why tell them?
 
RDS
2004-03-05 03:22:25 PM  
and yet, members of those churches don't seem to bleat and cry and piss and moan about being persecuted. xians get it right when they STFU and start loving their neighbors.

People always pull out the 'love they neighbour' phrase and the 'turn the other cheek' phrase when it's most convenient for them.
 
2004-03-05 03:23:21 PM  
"People always pull out the 'love they neighbour' phrase and the 'turn the other cheek' phrase when it's most convenient for them."

yep. especially xians.
 
RDS
2004-03-05 03:26:02 PM  
Well, usually its people who know nothing about Christ's teachings and wish to not hear them...so they just say 'hey...you gotta love they neighbour man..so, leave me alone."

We were also charged with spreading the good news.
 
2004-03-05 03:26:18 PM  
 
2004-03-05 03:26:25 PM  
Fr._Peter_Fitznuggly

I thought you might want to see this one:
http://www.channelcincinnati.com/news/2888377/detail.html

Damn tomato throwing Amish!

Calm down, Folks, they are not going to read this.
Sheeesh.
 
2004-03-05 03:28:00 PM  
"Well, usually its people who know nothing about Christ's teachings and wish to not hear them...so they just say 'hey...you gotta love they neighbour man..so, leave me alone."

no, usually it's xians. but since i don't agree with you, i obvously know nothing about jebus' teachings.

then again, jebus freaks usually know nothing of jebus' teachings, so in a way, i guess you're right.
 
2004-03-05 03:29:22 PM  
2004-03-05 03:16:35 PM CheekyMunky
While not every Christian does it, there are enough people going around telling people they must "find Jesus or burn in hell"


Of course, one can only go on what they know from true expirence, but I believe that kind of persecution from Christians, or anyone is rare. I was born in central N. Carolina, in Jesse Helms land, and I grew up on coastal S. Carolina. Never in my life have I ever been aggressively or unwantingly been ministered to (which means never). Don't let an asshat turn you into an asshat. It's giving asshatery too much sway.

The weird part is that "your side" tends to forgive the truely dangerous folks in the world; they are given a pass.

Ann Coulter (the Al Franken of the Right...if he had a law degree and worked for the SCOTUS) said:

As I understand it, the dangerous religion is the one whose messiah instructs: "[I]f one strikes thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also" and "Love your enemies ... do good to them that hate you, and pray for them that persecute and calumniate you." The peaceful religion instructs: "Slay the enemy where you find him." (Surah 9:92).
 
RDS
2004-03-05 03:31:52 PM  
Actually, as an ordained minister...I know quite a bit about them. Non-denominational Christian church too, so Christ is the head of it. Oh...and we're a little against anyone who persecutes any human being for race, religion, sex, sexual preference, etc...before that's brought up.

We're of the 'love the sinner...hate the sin philosophy'.

I've always firmly held on to the stone in my hand as I am not fit to cast it.
 
2004-03-05 03:34:38 PM  
RDS

give it up already
I know you have an intimate relationship with jesus
but no matter what you say I, and many others will always find "the jesus Chainsaw massacre" a funny name for "the passion of the Christ"

I'm sure the movie is not offended
And jesus is dead so I'm sure he doesn't care.
RELAX
 
2004-03-05 03:34:39 PM  
"Actually, as an ordained minister...I know quite a bit about them."

not very convincing.

"Non-denominational Christian church too, so Christ is the head of it."

man, he sure does get around.

"We're of the 'love the sinner...hate the sin philosophy'."

well then, this shouldn't be so difficult for you to understand.

"I've always firmly held on to the stone in my hand as I am not fit to cast it."

oh, sorry. i thought you were the guy crying "biggot!" (sic)

never mind, then
 
2004-03-05 03:35:27 PM  
Oh...and we're a little against anyone who persecutes any human being for race, religion, sex, sexual preference, etc...before that's brought up.

Ah. So you don't follow the teachings of the Bible. That's interesting.
 
RDS
2004-03-05 03:38:00 PM  
Well, as I can tell I'm being, as you would say, 'trolled', I'm finished with this thread.

Have hope and love in your life, and God Bless.
 
2004-03-05 03:38:45 PM  
"And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men."

you too, rds. don't forget to beat your chest while you pray.
 
2004-03-05 03:39:31 PM  
troll = non-xian
 
2004-03-05 03:44:02 PM  
Making fun of Jesus is fun! Especially if you have no personal integrity, imagination, innovative thought, are completely trite, blase', cliche', and moronic.

If you do, though, have personal integrity, imagination, and innovative thought, it turns out it's still pretty fun.
 
2004-03-05 03:52:05 PM  
I don't get it...if movies come out depicting a minorities faith, people respect it. But, with "The Passion of Christ", people make fun of it and bash it. So, assholes, there are people out there who show you and your faith (or lack of it) respect...try doing the same for us
 
2004-03-05 03:53:25 PM  
"So, assholes, there are people out there who show you and your faith (or lack of it) respect...try doing the same for us"

how does calling somebody an "asshole" show respect?
 
2004-03-05 03:58:59 PM  
xian respect = "We will tell you what opinions you may hold and when you may express them"



Personally I don't adore minority faiths either. The Dali Farking Lama is a self-righteous evil asshole. See?
 
2004-03-05 04:15:44 PM  
Eh...guess i got caught up in the moment...sorry about that

If movies come out depicting a minorities faith, people respect it. But, with "The Passion of Christ", people make fun of it and bash it. So, there are people out there who show you and your faith (or lack of it) respect...try doing the same for us

mods, please delete my previous post
 
2004-03-05 04:20:50 PM  
"If movies come out depicting a minorities faith, people respect it."

like little buddha? sorry, your hypothesis is wrong.

it's like the rich white boy living in mom's house who cries about how downtrodden he is. i hear all the specious laments, but there's no substance to any of it.

sorry, rich white boy. i do not respect your religion. i do not believe you are being discriminated against. bleating and mewling will not change that. it would take something you do not have: facts.

later.
 
2004-03-05 04:25:21 PM  
Hate Christians all you want (some of them can get on your nerves), but what did Jesus ever do to any of you? None of you even knew the guy! The poor guy was tortured! Does anyone know what empathy means?
 
2004-03-05 04:27:43 PM  
Does anyone know what empathy means?
At the moment I'm using my empathy for Giordano Bruno, burned at the stake in Rome 404 years ago this month by Christian zealots.
 
2004-03-05 04:32:41 PM  
seriously you guys
my girlfreind knew this jesus guy. he was a real stand up dude. she's been in her room crying for hours because of this thread.........
 
2004-03-05 04:43:44 PM  
the entire thing is a quaint fiction

My favorite line. Quaint fiction, eh? Those historians must be completely wrong. What you fail to understand is that the crucifixion of Christ (the subject that encapsulated most of the movie) has been proven, so how can the whole think be quaint fiction?
 
2004-03-05 04:59:58 PM  
son of secret police: I honestly hope that, some time in life, you realize what a fool you are...You argue with me because of religion, but would you go up to an African American and call him a n---er? Or go up to a Mexican guy and call him a Sp-ck?
 
2004-03-05 05:04:19 PM  
At the moment I'm using my empathy for Giordano Bruno, burned at the stake in Rome 404 years ago this month by Christian zealots

Who ever said that Christains (past or present) were perfect? It is horrible what happened to Bruno, but is anybody disrespecting his death?
 
2004-03-05 05:05:47 PM  
anybody disrespecting his death?

Cardinal Sodano, the current Vatican Secretary of State.
 
2004-03-05 05:10:01 PM  
Hey all you Christians out there,

let the Godless one's be. Its their life, they are going to have to live it.

They are like kids who sh|t themselves for attention. They don't realize that it effects no one but themselves. In this life, you've only got one pair of "britches". If you soil them, you wear them.

Help yourself.
 
2004-03-05 05:12:41 PM  
I find it funny how smug some folks are when pointing out how smug other folks are.

Self hate is best served smeared all over other people.
 
2004-03-05 05:18:32 PM  
A lot of rage there, Microbe, a lot of rage.
 
2004-03-05 05:46:50 PM  
Thumbs up, uh_huh.



Never in my life have I ever been aggressively or unwantingly been ministered to (which means never).

I can understand that you've never had that happen to you. I suspect, however, that being in "Jesse Helms land" as you put it means that most people assume that they're surrounded by good Christian folks, and don't think there's a need to minister (never been there, so I don't really know - it's just a thought). Even if it's never happened to you, though, it's still true that "spreading the good word" is part of the faith, and there are plenty of people who do that.

The weird part is that "your side" tends to forgive the truely dangerous folks in the world; they are given a pass.

I didn't realize I was on a "side". I'm just one person with one set of opinions and values, and I live my life according to those. I don't presume to speak for anyone else, I was just saying that I can understand the resentment because I admittedly have felt it myself in the past. I'll reiterate though that I generally don't go out of my way to antagonize anybody based on who they are or what they believe. I leave that alone. I still think "Jesus Chainsaw Massacre" is pretty funny.

And the Ann Coulter quote doesn't fly with me. The message of Christianity and the actual behavior of its supposed disciples have diverged greatly so many times, often with horrifying consequences, and that divergence continues extensively, albeit to varying degrees, today. The devil can quote scripture to suit his own purpose.

Just occurred to me, as an afterthought: my aunt is a religion teacher, formerly a youth minister. She drinks, smokes, swears, and is all around incredibly cool and one of the people I admire most in life, because underneath it all, she has extremely strong character and capacity for understanding. She just refuses to be boring about it. She is secure in her values, and her vices have nothing to do with that. I can respect that far more than somebody who deems themself righteous because they follow the rules of behavior while spouting hatred and anger.

She would think "Jesus Chainsaw Massacre" was pretty funny too.
 
2004-03-05 06:02:43 PM  
osiris
As an atheist, there is no doubt in my mind that some guy named Yeshua was crucified by the Romans. Just as I'm sure the US has executed some guy named "John". However, I don't believe the Jesus of the gospels ever existed.

You can have any sort of theology you want, but the question of the authenticity of the Gospel accounts is a historical question, not a metaphysical one. All indications are that the Gospels are after the fact accounts with as much basis in fact as anything else written in those days. There's no question that Jesus lived and died and did at least a portion of the stuff ascribed to him in the Gospels. What that portion is, I don't know.
 
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