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(Reuters) NewsFlash Former chief of Worldcom Bernie Ebbers soon to be off to federal pound-you-in-the ass prison   ( divider line
    More: NewsFlash  
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10854 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Mar 2004 at 7:16 AM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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137 Comments     (+0 »)

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2004-03-02 12:16:57 PM  
Prison rape is teh funny.

2004-03-02 12:28:25 PM  
Big deal. Bush will pardon the guy when his term is up.
2004-03-02 12:32:19 PM  
Does anyone read a farker's comment when it's more than 3 or 4 sentences long? Just wondering.

/for the record, I don't
2004-03-02 12:40:04 PM  
Wasnt this supposed to be one of Bush's buddies? You know, the ones that, according to Liberals, was never going to prison because he was the Presidents pal.

Liberals, dont they ever get tired of being wrong.

Tinian is my hero, by the way.
2004-03-02 12:44:35 PM  
I don't know what you are, LE_Mental, but I'm glad you're an idiot. An iota of intelligence would make you a threat.

/ad hominem
2004-03-02 12:52:28 PM  
Good. Even the Ashcroft-haters have something to celebrate, besides the busting of numerous businessmen going to third world countries to have sex with preteen children...
2004-03-02 01:05:54 PM  
Watching democrats and republicans argue is like watching retarded children defend their favorite football team to each other. Neither can think for themselves. If the party adopts and idea they MUST follow along.
2004-03-02 01:10:53 PM  
"i also know (well, not know well, but i know who he is) someone who killed two people because he drove drunk. did he go to prison? no. yet, he is a murderer and deserves to."
Why? He made a horrible mistake, but does he deserve to be put in with the gangsters and ass-rapers? Is he really that big of a threat to society? Don't get me wrong, I think he should be in prison, but since you think that certain drug related crimes should not be punishable by prison terms, I would like to see your thoughts on this.

Absolutely, he should be in prison. Drug possession and drug use are crimes, but should not be regarded as serious crimes unless you compound them by making yourself a serious threat to society. Here, in the great, pussified, bleeding-heart state of Washington, you can get DUI after DUI and it is always a gross misdimeanor, whether it's the 1st offense or the 15th offense. Henry Earl could join NASCAR, and all he would have to show for it in this state would be a gross misdemeanor.

Even if you kill someone in a car accident while drunk, it is still a gross misdemeanor. Whereas, if you do so because of your own negligence, it is vehicular homicide. What exactly is the difference? How many stories do people need to hear before they'll realize this?

I just heard another one last month... A young married couple was walking on the sidewalk, pushing their new baby along in a stroller. A drunk in a jeep jumped the curb and plowed into them. The husband was killed instantly, and the baby's stroller was tangled up in the jeep's grill. It was pushed and scraped along for another mile before this asshat decided to stop; the mother running behind screaming all the while. By the grace of God, that baby only had minor injuries. Just the same, that family was destroyed. In the spirit of liberal compassion, will you tell that mother and child, who are now left to grow up without a husband and father, that they should feel sorry for the man who did this, just because it was a "horrible mistake"? The product of a chemical dependency? No!

Here's my compromise: If you're addicted to drugs or alcohol, fine. It is a disease, and it does require treatment. If you admit you need help to quit, I would gladly support helping you at every turn. But the moment your "condition" becomes a danger to those around you, it ceases to be a disease. Whatever your motivation, you are a criminal- a menace to society- and you must be stopped. The moment you get behind the wheel of a car after consuming alcohol or using any drug that would inhibit your ability to drive safely, you cease to be a "victim of your addiction" and you become a criminal - a danger to society. If you get caught drinking and driving, it should be up to a felony (depending on the circumstances, a judge could decide). Repeat offenses should automatically be felonies.

If you take someone's life while under the influence of a drug, it shouldn't be a charge of "manslaughter" or "vehicular homicide". It should be a felony murder charge with a mandatory prison sentence.
2004-03-02 01:11:47 PM  
It only gets worse. You were wrong about cable modems too: How Cable Modems Work

/smug asshole
2004-03-02 01:11:53 PM  
in honor of ass pounding, a Queen song:
"and another one down, another one down, another one bites the dust- HAH!"
2004-03-02 01:36:30 PM  
Does anyone read a farker's comment when it's more than 3 or 4 sentences long? Just wondering.

And never if they don't break it into paragraphs.
2004-03-02 01:37:42 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
" these conjugal visits, you can have sex with women?"

/obvious yet funny
2004-03-02 01:49:03 PM  
Even if he does get convicted, he'll be playing nine holes daily at the Ivan Boesky Memorial golf course in Lompoc, California. Home of the US Federal Penitentiary for the privileged prisoner.

No justice even when there is justice.
2004-03-02 01:52:10 PM  
when I think of all the people who got screwed out of their retirement funds...stock money - all the elderley people who have nothing to retire on because of these corporate greedy farks, it pisses me off to the point of twiching, and sweating.

However when I think of these former money grubbing screw-your-fellow-man-for-a-buck CEO's bent over a squeaky prison bed with 13 inches of bubba-cock crammed up their bloody poop-chutes, it makes me smile.

/low tolerance for greed
2004-03-02 02:07:02 PM  
Correct me if I'm wrong (I'm sure you will), but isn't this the company that Democratic National Committee (DNC) Chairman Terry McAuliffe sold all of his stock in shortly before they went banco? I beleive he made a large short term profit and then sold just before the bottom fellout. Is anyone aware of any Martha Stewart type investigation into his involvement in WorldCom?
2004-03-02 02:07:32 PM  
D-Liver wrote: "When I think of all the people who got screwed out of their retirement funds...stock money - all the elderley people who have nothing to retire on because of these corporate greedy farks, it pisses me off to the point of twiching, and sweating."

*Shakes a cup full of pencils under D-Liver's nose*

Neil Bush cost me my nest egg of $175,000 during the S&L Crisis. Enron got what was left. I should be retired NOW. Left free to paint and to play wargames with my friends at all the various hobby shops across town. But from the way it looks, I'm going to be working the rest of my life.
2004-03-02 02:08:53 PM  
Maybe that was Global Crossing?
2004-03-02 02:57:29 PM  
As a former CompuServe employee, I'm convinced that motherfarker is the devil. That was a really cool place to work, until he 'assimilated'. He can rot in hell.
2004-03-02 03:29:28 PM  
cant wait to see the pics of him in a dress wearing lipstick, singing "I got it bad, and that aint good" during the prison talent show to appease his white supremicist cell mate.
2004-03-02 03:30:17 PM  
as a former emplyoee of Global Crossing... fark them too.
2004-03-02 05:51:03 PM  
I used to work for MCI. After the accounting scandal I quit in disgust.

I'm familiar with Stop Prison Rape and have read the story of Donny the Punk. I think Bernie Ebbers deserves a few years of relentless ass-pounding.
2004-03-02 06:36:14 PM  
Funny that he was such an upstanding church-going guy, loved by the community.

Seems like the rule, not the exception.
2004-03-02 07:20:07 PM  
2004-03-02 07:58:41 PM  
Prison rape is only funny when done by a clown.
2004-03-02 08:09:56 PM  
Has anyone here read "The Number" by Alex Berenson? It's a great book if you like business/finance.

Anyway, it made a couple points about the Worldcom scandal that I thought I would share:

1) Worldcom's accounting, though illegal, was actually a fair representation of the company's finances. (In contrast, Enron's accounting was horribly inaccurate but entirely legal.)

2) Bernard Ebbers didn't understand enough about accounting to know that what he was doing was illegal. He just signed what they put in front of him.
2004-03-02 08:18:09 PM  
Not to rain on the rape parade, but federal prison is not that social. He'll probably spend 20 some hours in a cell all alone. He'll only get raped by himself.
2004-03-02 08:30:50 PM  
An ass pounding is too good for that greedy bastard.
2004-03-02 08:44:45 PM  
Another former WorldCom employee (UUnet) here. He's obviously not going to get justice, just like employees, former employees, customers and vendors won't. Even if he doesn't do much jail time, hopefully fines and lawyer bills will bankrupt him. He deserves at least that much.
2004-03-02 09:19:59 PM  
Democrats: Don't think for one moment that there's no corrupt corporate money flowing through your party. Democrats are kings when it comes to doing government favors for their buddies in Corporate America.

Republicans: Ditto for you folks, too. Don't think for a second that George W. Bush is some uber-moral role model. He's as corrupt as Bill Clinton, if not worse.

That is all.

/cynical, big time
2004-03-02 09:22:03 PM  
Oh yeah, Bernie. Do whatever your new cellmate, Ben Dover, tells you to do. You deserve much worse, you waste of skin and food.

/former ripped-off MCI customer
2004-03-02 09:40:39 PM  
I hope that this s.o.b rots in hell.

/one of many thousands of laid off worldcom/uunet/mci workers
2004-03-02 11:32:53 PM  
Still working at MCI here. What is jacked up is the company will still have to help pay for his legal defenses.
2004-03-03 01:30:50 AM  
Churnin Urn of Burnin Funk:
Just because our last President handed out pardons to his cronies doesn't mean that it's a trend.

It's a Republican tradition. And given Clinton's generally-rightwing positions (he implemented everything Reagan tried and failed to do, from cutting welfare to balancing the budget to sending troops to every damn nation on earth, plus DOMA, an alltime record in arresting pot criminals, and a ban on known gays in the military), Clinton was distinctly in the Republican camp.

Bush pardoned a corporate criminal just a week or two ago, though it wasn't big news in the commercial media since it was hardly a surprise. The only question is whether Bush will wait until after the election to issue the next batch of pardons.
2004-03-03 02:41:23 AM  
if hes not going to the country club, i think this guy will commit suicide. he looks like pussycat.

hes going to toss MASSIVE salads
2004-03-03 03:11:47 AM  
Can I buy some pot from you?
2004-03-03 04:55:23 AM  
I will never ever get tired of the "federal pound-you-in-the-ass" headlines...ever.

Now...where's my stapler?
2004-03-03 08:04:06 PM  
Wait, so it was Kerry that used Ken Lay's corporate jet during his last campaign, not Bush? Dang, you learn something new on Fark every day.
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