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(BBC)   South African millionaire wants to build Titanic II, this time with more Titanicness   ( divider line
    More: Unlikely  
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7594 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Feb 2004 at 10:56 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2004-02-29 09:10:31 PM  
another asshat with more money than brains. can we make sure he's on the maiden voyage, and that he goes down with the ship?
2004-02-29 09:21:08 PM  
And in 20 years DiCapio can play the old lady.
2004-02-29 10:16:03 PM  
...Cruising is the last resort of the millionaire in the 21st century,...

*proletariat ups iceberg production*
2004-02-29 10:58:41 PM  
Nigerian scam joke in four....three....two....
2004-02-29 11:01:23 PM  
Damn you Chariset I had already typed:

"Dear White Star Lines,

My name is Mobuto....
2004-02-29 11:04:59 PM  
Don't any of these multi-millionaire types watch any movies? I mean seriously, this ship is doomed to sink. Just by even considering naming it Titanic.
2004-02-29 11:05:41 PM  
I think I already saw this episode of Futurama

"We'll simply set a new course in that empty region of space over there, near that blackish holeish thing."
2004-02-29 11:05:50 PM  
lol, I had the Nigerian joke composed and ready to go. Damn, maybe next time.

2004-02-29 11:07:12 PM  
Looks like all the good comments were taken already.
2004-02-29 11:08:46 PM  
well...everyone knows that there just aren't enough luxury liners around at the moment (and being built).
More like Industry crash in 5,4,3,.......
Can't wait till they come up with a plan for the Hindenburg II.
2004-02-29 11:09:11 PM  
I wonder if they'll bill this one as being unsinkable. You know, just to really, really tempt fate.
2004-02-29 11:09:56 PM  
Just rock the boat...
Rock the boat baby
2004-02-29 11:10:10 PM  
Nigerian scam joke in four....three....two....

Sarel Gous is a white guy:

[image from too old to be available]
2004-02-29 11:10:19 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2004-02-29 11:11:19 PM  
Maybe he could also build a replica of the iceburg that sank the original and set them on a collision course.

We could then put all the ridiculous asshats who were addicted to the movie on the ship and watch them fight over lifeboats.

That would be quality entertainment :)
2004-02-29 11:11:42 PM  
Hopefully they will also include those life boat things.
2004-02-29 11:13:41 PM  
Looking forward to the Corvair II, Gigli II, and New Pepsi.
2004-02-29 11:14:20 PM  
2004-02-29 11:14:47 PM  
I surely hope he uses a better grade of steel this time.
2004-02-29 11:20:01 PM  
yep yep yep good idea.
2004-02-29 11:20:29 PM  
When is Challenger II set to go into orbit?
2004-02-29 11:20:36 PM  
Starship Titanic

The legendary and gigantic Starship Titanic was a majestic and luxurious cruise liner launched from the great shipbuilding asteroid complexes of Artifactovol. It was sensationally beautiful, staggeringly huge and more pleasantly equipped than any ship in history, but it had the misfortune to be built in the very earliest days of Improbability Physics, long before this difficult and cussed branch of knowledge was fully, or at all, understood.

The designers and engineers decided, in their innocence, to build a prototype Improbability Field into it, which was meant, supposedly, to ensure that it was Infinitely Improbable that anything would ever go wrong with any part of the ship.

They did not realize that because of the quasi-reciprocal and circular nature of all Improbability calculations, anything that was Infinitely Improbable was very likely to happen almost immediately.

The Starship Titanic was a monstrously pretty sight as it lay beached like a silver Arcturan Megavoidwhale among the laser-lit tracery of its construction gantries, a brilliant cloud of pins and needles of light against the deep interstellar blackness; but when it launched, it did not even manage to complete its very first radio message an SOS before undergoing a sudden and gratuitous total existence failure.

2004-02-29 11:21:25 PM  
Do people even take ocean liners anymore?

I thought that whole fad went out with typewriters, trees, and rotary telephones.

I could see a cruise ship, but an ocean liner? When did it become 1900 again?
2004-02-29 11:21:41 PM  
I surely hope he uses a better grade of steel this time

And makes sure the water tight compartments are actually watertight, and trains the lookout not to say "right" unless he actually means "right".

Purser: Maam, God Himself couldn't sink this ship.
God: Oh yeah?
2004-02-29 11:22:07 PM  
2004-02-29 11:22:39 PM  
I think the word you're looking for is "Titanicity."
2004-02-29 11:23:00 PM  
I think we have a great idea for a reality TV show.

The contestants build it and the final 10 take a trip on the finished ship. When it sinks, they have to play for various items like life vests, boats, etc.

Then the final five who make it to a boat have to play games to see who is eaten.
2004-02-29 11:23:09 PM  
Actually, yotta,

The Titanic was built of iron that still contained impurities, which caused it to be rigid, and therefore significantly more breakable than normal. The hole would not have been as bad if the material was of better quality, but haste makes waste...

/hate that dumb phrase
2004-02-29 11:23:51 PM  
If he's looking to really make the biggest, grandest ship in the world, I don't think he knows what he's getting into.

He'd have to make it bigger than the Queen Mary II, for example, which is a good three times larger and a time and half faster than the Titanic. Bigger than that, the oil supertanker Jahre Viking (of course, the JV isn't built for luxury, it's a cargo ship!). He needs to read: before declaring that he's going to make the biggest ship in the world.

As far as the name goes...I dunno. Maybe it's because I'm not rich. To me, however, the name "Titanic", when combined with a cruise ship, is synonymous with "spectacular screwup driven by excessive ego".
2004-02-29 11:24:51 PM  
re: therefore significantly more breakable than normal

sorry but the "shatter" theory has not been proven.
2004-02-29 11:25:32 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2004-02-29 11:25:41 PM  
yeah, why would anyone want to take a ship across the ocean when being a millionare you can get there in 8 hours and in luxury if you want. i can't wait till i form a band, im gonna call it lynyrd skynyrd 2 and we're gonna fly all around the country.
2004-02-29 11:25:41 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2004-02-29 11:26:50 PM  
re: When is Challenger II set to go into orbit?

as soon as your momma gets it out of her bum.
2004-02-29 11:26:54 PM  
w00t! First link submitted, first link accepted! [image from too old to be available]
2004-02-29 11:27:43 PM  
...this time it's not Titanicesque I.
2004-02-29 11:28:55 PM  
Futurama references aside, I wouldn't mind seeing an exact or near exact replica being built as a floating museum. I'd go for that. But a semi-replica built to sail the Ocean? Meh, that'd kind of creep the hell out of me to sail on it.

By the way, I think this same guy or some South African company was going to build a Titanic II a few years ago to be ready for 2002 (90th Anniversary). There were alot of "Titanic II" and other such rumors floating around during the 1997 Titanic movie buzz.
2004-02-29 11:29:16 PM  
And makes sure the water tight compartments are actually watertight,

they were watertight... that was one of the problems... if they hadn't secured the watertight doors shut, the ship would have more evenly flooded, thus helping to better stabilize the ship. It still woulda sunk, but at a slower rate.

trains the lookout not to say "right" unless he actually means "right".

there were something like 9 possible choices the officer of the deck could have made when told about the iceberg... he picked the worst one. as far as right/left, when the OOD wanted to go right, he'd tell the helmsman "left" on the rudder and vice versa when he wanted to go left.
2004-02-29 11:29:34 PM  
The spokesman said: "Perhaps marketing it as built in Belfast by Harland and Wolff rather than anywhere else would help because of the historical associations."

However, Mr Gous said the Titanic II would be based on the old ship but would be much bigger, in fact the biggest liner in the world...

Because that worked so well the first time.
2004-02-29 11:33:40 PM  
Maybe they could go the other way. Instead of saying that it was unsinkable, they could market it as "very, very sinkable" to cater to the macho/adventure-seeker crowd.
2004-02-29 11:33:52 PM  
I think we should all help pay for this farking boondoggle. Especially if those asshats James Cameron and Leonard Dicaprio are made to stay on board. Then we should scuttle it. The sight of those two going down would almost make up for that cliche ridden excuse for a movie. WORST MOVIE EVER MADE! What would make the rest of it up for me is when I get to hit Kate Winslet a few times.
2004-02-29 11:35:25 PM  

Do you mean hit as in smack, or hit as in the "I'd Hit It" sense of the word. Either way, that's badong.
2004-02-29 11:35:27 PM  
GoddessPrime: LMAO
2004-02-29 11:36:42 PM  
they were watertight... that was one of the problems...

My attempt at sarcasm obscured what I was trying to say. The watertight partitions between compartments only went halfway through the ship. The ship could survive having five compartments breach. The 'berg tore through six. As they filled up, the ship tilted downwards and the water spilled over to the next compartment, and so on. Methinks the designers should have spent more time pondering the question "What could possibly breach six compartments?"

as far as right/left, when the OOD wanted to go right, he'd tell the helmsman "left" on the rudder and vice versa when he wanted to go left.

As I understand it, when Ned Fleet said "Iceberg, right ahead!" the OOD assumed he meant ahead and to the right, so he ordered the helmsman to steer the ship to the left, away from where he thought the berg was. However, Ned meant it was dead ahead, so instead of ramming it head on (and crumpling one or two compartments), the ship struck it a glancing blow and the berg gashed open six.
2004-02-29 11:37:10 PM  
A millionaire gonna build another Titanic. Try billionaire. I believe it would be about $400,000,000 in today's money.
2004-02-29 11:37:47 PM  
This article is 4 years old.
2004-02-29 11:38:36 PM  
yeah it is... 4 years... how the hell did someone find this?
2004-02-29 11:38:45 PM  
Titanic ship construction misinformation in 5..4.. oops too late!
2004-02-29 11:39:33 PM  
in addition to actually reading the articles before you submit them with some misleading headline, you should also make sure that it is current news if it pertains to a news story
2004-02-29 11:40:29 PM  
And no, I dont actually read the articles
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