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(Reuters)   Because we needed another sports drink, get ready for ESPN: The Beverage   ( divider line
    More: Spiffy  
•       •       •

6405 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Feb 2004 at 12:33 AM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

64 Comments     (+0 »)

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2004-02-26 09:53:35 PM  
ESPN = Entirely Stupid Promotional Novelties

Now it's your turn.
2004-02-26 10:11:10 PM  
ESPN = Ethnicly Specialized Persons Network

/I suck at this.
2004-02-26 10:36:39 PM  
ESPN = Espend Sploding Pocketchange Now

/also sucks at this
2004-02-26 11:24:10 PM  
In my mind it would taste like a mixture of Chris Berman's ball sweat and Dan Patrick's hairspray. So I will not try it.

Don't ask me why I thought of this. It was 10 years ago, but I did. It was not a fun night.

I refuse to answer anymore questions.
2004-02-27 12:05:46 AM  
YAYYY! I'm drink and I will ahbe the EsPN drunk-fessionals?

/haben't been drunk sin e the birth of my son four months ago
2004-02-27 12:07:28 AM  
RandyJohnson, that's exactly why I was was going to try it. But I'm a very sick man.
2004-02-27 12:09:53 AM  
ESPN = Exceptionally Sweet Penile Nectar
2004-02-27 12:28:43 AM  
ESPN = Essentially Sweat, Performance(enhancing drugs) and Nutspit.
2004-02-27 12:36:09 AM  
Does it make me feel like Hank Aaron? Feel's like it's a trap!
2004-02-27 12:36:24 AM  
ESPN: The Beer
ESPN: The Condom
ESPN: The Car
ESPN: The Wheelchair
ESPN: The Cookie

...and I'm spent
2004-02-27 12:37:44 AM  
ESPN = Endless Soft-drink Promotions by Nimrods
2004-02-27 12:38:05 AM  

When I read your post, I saw...

ESPN: The Wookie.
2004-02-27 12:38:28 AM  
Gatorade ESPN - now you can drink what the athletes drink:

Ephedra, Steroids and Proteins and Niacin!
2004-02-27 12:39:11 AM  
El Chinchilla del Sur

Strangely enough, when I previewed it, so did I.
2004-02-27 12:41:51 AM  
Eat Some Pineapples Nude
2004-02-27 12:43:17 AM  
Wow, what a coincidence! Just the other day I was watching ESPN and said to myself, "Hmmm. I wonder what this would taste like."
2004-02-27 12:49:12 AM  
magic600 strange? or weird.
2004-02-27 12:49:29 AM  
I for one think this at least makes more sense than Donald Trump marketing his new brand of spring water...Trump Water? Because everyone likes to look at a bad combover while drinking.

What were they thinking...
2004-02-27 12:52:56 AM  

2004-02-27 12:57:02 AM  
A drink by ESPN ? Sweet sassy molassy, get the enema bag out of the closet and fill 'er up !
2004-02-27 12:58:11 AM  
2004-02-27 01:00:51 AM  
ESPN = Enhanced Super Powered N*****s
2004-02-27 01:01:02 AM  
ESPN =Entrepreneurial Suckers Posing Nude

2004-02-27 01:05:27 AM  
ESPN = Elevated SPirits Negligible

wow, I better get some sleep
2004-02-27 01:07:35 AM  
My wife's immediate reaction:

"EEwwwwwww! It will taste like sweat!"

Yeah, that's gross. *shivercringe*
2004-02-27 01:08:48 AM  
Drink ESPN! It's good until page 3.
2004-02-27 01:08:49 AM  
ESPN=Bent Wookie

SportsNight is more on the pulse of society, and it was cancelled four years ago.

ESPN=Faking White Guys Sports.
2004-02-27 01:13:03 AM  
Everyone's Sick Pedophile Neighbor
2004-02-27 01:13:41 AM  
Sports Night was the worst show that has ever....ever.....EVER... been put on TV. It is not sublimely funny, just a plodding piece of drek that takes precious time away from Duckman and Reno 911 on Comedy Central. (Yes, I know it was on another network pre-rerun, I just don't care).

SportsCenter is the visual equivalent to Muzak. I can watch an episode three times without realizing it is exactly the same as it was last hour. Most the time when I watch it repeatedly, I'm masturbating, so that might be why I'm not remembering it.
2004-02-27 01:33:07 AM  
Every Soldier Purchases Noodles
2004-02-27 01:34:09 AM  
Even Santa Praises Nato
2004-02-27 01:38:11 AM  
ESPN will probably taste like a Hot Cocoa Sample Box
2004-02-27 01:38:14 AM  
It's official: I hate ESPN, you hate ESPN, we all hate ESPN.

Reason # 537: in the highlights, they now tell you which monents are "Top 10 Nominees". That is, it MIGHT be in the end-of-show top 10.

What exactly is the value to the viewer of telling us which clips you CONSIDERED for the best-of? Couldn't I just decide if I enjoy the clip or not myself?

btw, I like how on Fox SPorts Radio they sometimes refer to ESPN as "The Four-Letter Network".
2004-02-27 01:38:26 AM  
Spiffy? No.
Asinine? Much better.
2004-02-27 01:39:30 AM  
Why is this "spiffy"? ESPN has descended to being the MTV of sports networks. Very few associated with the network have anything intelligent to say about what they cover (people like Peter Gammons and John Buccigross being the exceptions), SportsCenter has become a show where the one-liners are more important than the highlights, and...did anyone SEE "Playmakers"? Yikes.
2004-02-27 01:43:20 AM  
Am I the only one who thought of this?

[image from too old to be available]
2004-02-27 01:44:11 AM  
Excited Super Puffy Nuts!
2004-02-27 01:53:33 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

It tastes like my sweat!
2004-02-27 02:16:35 AM  
Haha. Lars is a lightweight biatch. I hate people that can't handle their liquor and act like girls when they get a little buzz. I would never drink with him.
2004-02-27 03:06:04 AM  
ESPN the Flamethrower!

/the kids love that one
2004-02-27 03:07:24 AM  
Actually, if you've ever seen the poser cesspit that is the ESPN message board area, "ESPN the Flamethrower" isn't too far off the mark.

You ever seen a seedy dive sports bar around 1 AM right before the nightly brawl breaks out? That's about the pulse of the readership.
2004-02-27 03:35:20 AM  
Exacerbate Sportsman's Pissing Needs
2004-02-27 03:45:18 AM  
The only sports drink you'll ever need:

[image from too old to be available]
2004-02-27 03:54:48 AM  
Excitement Starved Pariah's Nip
Enthusiasticly Swigged Prescribed Narcotic
2004-02-27 06:37:09 AM  
I believe Gatorade is already test marketing the ESPN drink in Japan:

[image from too old to be available]
2004-02-27 08:13:23 AM  
I love my sports viewing. I watch hockey, football, baseball and occasionally other things like basketball and shooting. I've been a beer-drinkin', pretzel-gobbling yelling-at-the-TV kind of guy for a long time.

I have never once watched Sports Center or any other sports recap show. I'm sorry but if I care I already know the score and don't want to hear the analysis of a bunch of guys in suits and ties. Suits and ties! Ceeripes! Here we are picking pizza off our shirts and clearing the coffee table of beer cans and two guys in suits are talking about how the Yankees plan to buy the planet. If one were to listen to the national media there would be only two sports teams at all in the world -- the Dallas Cowboys and the New York Yankees.
2004-02-27 08:39:46 AM  
I was in Home Depot yesterday, and at the checkout counter, they had Home Depot Mints.

Home Depot Mints?
2004-02-27 09:01:21 AM  



2004-02-27 09:34:35 AM  
No worse than:

[image from too old to be available]
2004-02-27 10:30:29 AM  
needs a stupid tag

spiffy? wtf?
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