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(Yahoo)   Jesus Chainsaw Massacre claims its first victim   ( divider line
    More: Ironic  
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47778 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Feb 2004 at 9:00 AM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

932 Comments     (+0 »)

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2004-02-26 01:21:47 AM  
She should have known something was up when the ticket taker annointed his hands in holy coconut oil.
2004-02-26 01:23:44 AM  
Hot DAMN that sounds like a sweet movie!
2004-02-26 01:28:55 AM  
Everything this movie touches involves controversy, lightning, or myocardial infarction.

I'm avoiding that entire section of Blockbuster when this gets to DVD
2004-02-26 01:31:47 AM  
I wish they'd have stuck to the original script and let Asterix save Jesus from the Romans. He sure knew how to stick it to them Romans in Gaul!
2004-02-26 01:41:33 AM  
The power of Christ compelled her.
2004-02-26 01:43:03 AM  
My friend said it was to die for...
2004-02-26 02:02:42 AM  
I guess she experienced. . . the Passion. . .
2004-02-26 02:30:09 AM  
So, I've heard the movie is delightfully mediocre. Anybody seen it yet?
2004-02-26 03:07:28 AM  
Can you imagine if that happened to someone you knew? I'd be a little cross.
2004-02-26 03:08:11 AM  
I hear that they left Larry Christ out of the movie completely.
2004-02-26 04:26:46 AM  
Because she only thought of Jesus the moments before she died, she expected eternity in Heaven.

But she didn't make it. God busted her for checking out Jesus's package.
2004-02-26 07:15:42 AM  
I hope God smites your loved ones on a regular basis.
2004-02-26 07:57:34 AM  
If she'd died at any other time, in fact if she'd been watching pretty much any other film, this would have been tragic. Dying in the middle of The Passion of The Christ = a sign from God. Does anyone know how to interpret this omen?

(If God smites my loved ones, I hope someone, somewhere gets a laugh out of it.)
2004-02-26 08:29:38 AM  
Incorrect apostrophe usage claims another headline. Proper grammar surrenders.

The word is "its," people.
2004-02-26 09:05:24 AM  
LIES, it wasn't the movie. IT was the jews, they did it obviously.
2004-02-26 09:06:55 AM  
This may have an affect on the ultra-religious people out there. I mean, the same ones that are prone to things like stigmata will probably be greatly moved (or killed) when viewing this movie. Maybe this will be the first movie in history that actually kills audience members.
2004-02-26 09:06:57 AM  
The Jews get you at the refreshment stand.
2004-02-26 09:07:32 AM  
I bet she was on the Atkins diet.
2004-02-26 09:07:44 AM  
I'm not gonna see it until I can bootleg it. Not gonna have my money wind up in Gibson's pockets. I bet the old gal won't be the last one to die over this film either.
2004-02-26 09:08:50 AM  
2004-02-26 07:15:42 AM SchlingFo
I hope God smites your loved ones on a regular basis


OK thread's over. Move along, nothing to see here.
2004-02-26 09:09:15 AM  
Maybe she died of boredom?
/haven't seen it yet
2004-02-26 09:09:36 AM  
"Jesus Chainsaw Massacre claims it is first victim"?

How can a movie talk, much less claim first victimhood?

Oh, if you want to be be possessive, it's just "I-T-S"...
2004-02-26 09:10:06 AM  
Alright, i'm starting an over/under of 6 on this. Any takers?
2004-02-26 09:10:12 AM  
Its funny reading the news reports on how people coming out of theatre crying, hugging and stuff. Its amazing what a 2000 year old fairy tale can do to sheep.
2004-02-26 09:10:17 AM  
She has advance tickets for the weekend.
2004-02-26 09:10:25 AM  
Next. Crucifixion?
Good. Out of the door. Line on the left. One cross each. Next. Crucifixion?
Good. Out of the door. Line on the left. One cross each. Next. Crucifixion?
Ah, no. Freedom.
Eh, freedom for me. They said I hadn't done anything, so I could go free and live on an island somewhere.
Oh. Oh, well, that's jolly good. Well, off you go, then.
Naa, I'm only pulling your leg. It's crucifixion, really.
Oh, ho ho.
Heh heh heh hehh.
I see. Uh, very good. Very good. Well, out of the door. One--
Yeah. I know the way. Out of the door.
Line on--
One cross each. Line on the left.

- Life of Brian
2004-02-26 09:10:38 AM  
Bring on the lawsuites!!
2004-02-26 09:10:46 AM  
"Its" is very difficult to get right, being three letters and all.
2004-02-26 09:10:51 AM  
[image from too old to be available]Fifty-six-year-old Peggy Law (pictured, left)

Ugly biatch weren't she?
2004-02-26 09:10:54 AM  

So then this could be an example of "Darwinism" taking effect on a film that has its roots in "Creationism"??

Anything that thins the herd is alright by me...........

/My handbasket is personalized and waiting already.... how 'bout yours?
2004-02-26 09:11:38 AM  
"Most Extreme Primate" almost had the same effect on me.
2004-02-26 09:11:41 AM  
I think it was just 2 hours of watching Jesus being beaten and spit on and listening to the Aramaic jibberish just overwhelmed her.

Mel Gibson - keeping the proud tradition of making money in the name of Jesus alive.

Dog bless him.
2004-02-26 09:12:08 AM  
She obviously had a back stage pass.
2004-02-26 09:12:09 AM  
How terribly sad. . . . to die before finding out how the movie ends.
2004-02-26 09:13:35 AM  
Andonbray's comment reminds me of a short story that I started in '96 but never finished about Morty Christ... He was Jesus's (or is that Jesus'??) younger brother who developed a following of his own, it just lacked the impact of his brother's. For example, when he needed to feed his followers, he had half a bagel and a couple Swedish Fish, he once accidentally turned water to Clamato, etc... Maybe I should try and finish that one some day.
2004-02-26 09:13:51 AM  
For those of you who could never imagine how someone could be so overcome at the death of someone else, or have that kind of faith in anything...time for an emotional baggage and general cynicism check.

2004-02-26 09:13:56 AM  
"but you can't take away her FREEDOM!!!!"

/got nothing.....
2004-02-26 09:14:03 AM  
Interesting. I'd say there's a whole lot of weirdness happening with this movie all told.

I'm avoiding it.
2004-02-26 09:14:32 AM  
It's too bad someone didn't quickly shuttle her into "The Butterfly Effect" playing in the next room.
2004-02-26 09:14:39 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

Is that her on the left side of the theatre row?
2004-02-26 09:14:40 AM  
That is so freakin funny. Let the words fly.

ZAZ [TotalFark]
2004-02-26 09:15:01 AM  
Uh, shouldn't we wait three days to make sure?
2004-02-26 09:15:07 AM  
Evil Doers Beware! This movie will kill any unannointed, sick, leperous, or otherwise unworthy (James Worthy even) heathen scum.

/nuttin' really
2004-02-26 09:16:50 AM  
She must have died during the 5-way penetration scene on the cross.

/Well, "The Passion of Christ" sounds like porno movie anyway.
2004-02-26 09:17:04 AM  
I'm shocked at this movie. I've watched enough Mel Gibson movies and have learned that the BRITISH are the only real bad guys.
2004-02-26 09:17:31 AM  
I'm glad smart people keep telling me not to blame the Jews because of this movie. Because I would, in an instant. I mean if it's in a movie based on something that happened two thousand years ago, I'm obviously going to take it out on the next Jew I see.

Good thing they don't make the same announcement concerning Romans, because I'm going find one and beat him up for his part in the murder.

/Didn't even want to see it until some people started complaining they were the only ones who could distinguish a movie from reality. Idiots, all of them.
2004-02-26 09:18:07 AM  
Once again. This is NOT irony.

micke is out
2004-02-26 09:18:36 AM  
The Passin' of the Moviegoer
2004-02-26 09:19:00 AM  

The British AND Mr. Joshua.
2004-02-26 09:19:04 AM  
The wife and I saw THe Passion last night. And lets just say that when the Romans wanted to scourge and crucify a person, they really meant it. The film is an unedited depiction of what the Bible sys Jesus endured. It is graphic and intense and anyoen with a weak constitution might want to skip this one and watch "The Robe" or "Ben Hur."

And I don't see the movie blaming Jews for Jesus' death. Rather, it was the hate that exists in all human beings. The people who choose to hate Jews because of this film are embracing the same hate that tortured and killed Jesus.
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