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(Canoe)   Skiers: Wheeee! Bears: Shaddap!   (cnews.canoe.ca) divider line 61
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14474 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Feb 2004 at 10:37 AM (10 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-02-24 10:38:56 AM
Somebody better bring the bears some coffee, if they're anything like me.
 
2004-02-24 10:39:26 AM
More like... Bears: KILL.

Seriously... don't fark with bears.
 
2004-02-24 10:40:58 AM
Bears?

Did someone say citrusfruitparty.org ?
 
2004-02-24 10:41:51 AM
Seen boarders lately? How can they tell which is which?
 
2004-02-24 10:41:58 AM
Does a bear shiat in the woods?

/eternal question
 
2004-02-24 10:42:00 AM

"Of course grizzly bears have a reputation of being big, tough, ferocious animals," he said.
"We know these grizzly bears intimately and we know they're not that," said Macquisten."

True statement or famous last words. I remember someone recently said something similar ...


"We know these white tigers intimately and we know they're not that (ferocious)," said Roy Horn.

 
2004-02-24 10:42:18 AM
After all that hibernating, they were probably just hungry for a pic-i-nic basket.
 
2004-02-24 10:42:21 AM
"We know these grizzly bears intimately and we know they're not that, said Macquisten."

Whatever floats your boat I guess.
 
2004-02-24 10:42:23 AM
 
2004-02-24 10:42:49 AM
so the bears, y'know...they stopped hibernating. And they did it early! And they had to close the slope for a few hours! And it was so funny!
 
2004-02-24 10:44:04 AM
Reminds me of a 'Far Side' cartoon...you know the one....
 
2004-02-24 10:44:16 AM
"Of course grizzly bears have a reputation of being big, tough, ferocious animals," he said.

"We know these grizzly bears intimately and we know they're not that," said Macquisten

you all beat me to it, but...

asshat

when will they ever learn?
 
2004-02-24 10:44:53 AM
cokemonkey

At least the headline writer didn't claim that hilarity ensued.
 
2004-02-24 10:45:11 AM
DAMN, skinink - beat me to it by a mile. Though I was thinking of that "bear scientist" guy in Alaska last year...
 
2004-02-24 10:45:54 AM
Nobody beat me to this:

"At the same time we have to make sure we do everything possible to make sure there is a zero chance nothing is going to happen."

So, these guys are doing everything in their power to ensure that there's an incident?

"We've been starving the bears and leaving human corpses around, and actually we tossed 'em a baby once. Should get 'em torqued up good for when we cut the hole in their fence on open-ski-day."
 
2004-02-24 10:48:08 AM


/food
 
2004-02-24 10:49:19 AM
2004-02-24 10:40:58 AM the_marq
Bears?
Did someone say citrusfruitparty.org?

If youre thinking of posting the same shiat that was going around a while ago...dont. Just dont.
 
2004-02-24 10:49:25 AM
Hey Boo-Boo.... why don't we run down a get some pic-i-ic baskets!


I don't think the rangers gona like it Yoogi!
 
2004-02-24 10:49:26 AM
 
2004-02-24 10:49:27 AM
Haha, go Grinder and Coola!

The park people have a webcam on them, here. Except not anymore because they've been moved.
 
2004-02-24 10:52:43 AM
The Grinder and Coola cam is under maintance!

I say starving bears took it out....any bets?
 
2004-02-24 10:53:37 AM
2004-02-24 10:49:26 AM nytmare


Oh look, an eagle!

One of the best commercials ever!
 
2004-02-24 10:54:08 AM
Could be. I think their "tough-cam" (heh) would be able to withstand that, though. The probably just took it offline if they moved the bears.
 
2004-02-24 10:54:23 AM
An electric fence that keeps the bears within their designated refuge area when they aren't hibernating hadn't been set up yet

Translation: they were sitting on their collective asses.

"Of course grizzly bears have a reputation of being big, tough, ferocious animals...We know these grizzly bears intimately and we know they're not that"

How many times do we have to listen to this defense? "But these were playful, loving dogs. They'd never have mauled that toddler unless provoked!"
 
2004-02-24 10:55:05 AM
maintenance that is
 
2004-02-24 10:56:42 AM
What ever happend to "Wheeee"?
 
2004-02-24 11:00:15 AM
You spend your life taking care of the enviroment and animals. But you fark one bear.
 
2004-02-24 11:04:53 AM
Not cool. I clipped a deer on my snowbard once. Nobody was happy. I hurt for days. Don't know about the deer, she took off for the woodline and was never heard from again. I can't imagine a run in with a grizzly on a slope. Things would go badly indeed.
 
2004-02-24 11:06:00 AM
"At the same time we have to make sure we do everything possible to make sure there is a zero chance nothing is going to happen."

yes, with the double negative, this means they are doing everything possible to make sure there is a 100% chance something will happen, since that is the same thing as a zero chance nothing will happen

/grammar nazi
 
2004-02-24 11:15:13 AM
Christ, I have enough trouble avoiding trees on the ski slopes, let alone having to worry about Yogi and Boo Boo making me their next snack.
 
2004-02-24 11:16:23 AM

Horny Monkey?
 
2004-02-24 11:17:37 AM
Ahhhhh, it's weeeee, not wheeee

Weeee
(NSFW due to MF and flying penises, errr penii)
 
2004-02-24 11:18:48 AM
Isn't Canoe a brand name for cologne? Are the website and cologne companies related? Why do I care?
 
2004-02-24 11:22:15 AM
A bear and a bunny are making poopy in the forest. The bear asks the rabbit, "Does s*** stick to your fur?"
"No," says the rabbit.

So the bear wipes his arse with the rabbit.

Clearly, there were no rabbits sealed into the den with them.
 
2004-02-24 11:22:20 AM
I seriously doubt the bears could catch me on ski's, unless they had a snowmobile.
 
2004-02-24 11:22:38 AM
The scary part about this is the mountain is pretty popular. It's only a good 15 minutes away from downtown Vancouver if you've got good traffic. People go after school/work, for night skiing, on the weekends... there would have been a fair amount of people there when the bears got loose.
 
2004-02-24 11:22:57 AM
We had a (wild) black bear up a tree in the middle of our
beginner area three years ago - everyone was gathering around for a look- patrol cleared everyone out and shut down the beginner lifts- once everyone cleared out, so did Mr. bear. the whole thing took like 10 minutes.
I guess there's something to be said for not carrying your ham sandwich in your fanny pack while in grizzly country...
 
2004-02-24 11:27:37 AM
Can't a guy get up to take a leak without everyone getting all over his shiat?
 
2004-02-24 11:47:52 AM
Said the Ranger to the skiers "If you are going to be in the woods with bears, tie little bells on your shoes. The noise scares off the bears. Also take along some pepper spray in just in case you come across a bear that doesn't mind the noise. Of course these tricks don't work on Grizzly bears."

One skier asked "How can you tell if their are Grizzly bears around".

Replied the Ranger "Piles of bear crap that smell like pepper and have little bells in them".

/bad joke mode
 
2004-02-24 12:00:46 PM
TheSkiBum69:

I don't know how snow could hinder them, but on clear ground a full grown Grizzly can sprint at 60 m.p.h.

good luck
 
2004-02-24 12:03:34 PM
quite sorry,

30 mph
 
2004-02-24 12:16:09 PM
Pretty scary stuff. I have no patience for grizzlies. Remember the movie Jeremiah Johnson where the mountain man brought a fresh 'bar' back for him to skin? Alive? Into the cabin. Still one of the funniest moments in movie history. Even beats the flatulence campfire brigade in the Mel Brooks movie.
 
2004-02-24 12:17:17 PM
I can't be the only one that's getting tired of the headline template of "Party one: Statement. Party two: Other statement.", can I?
 
2004-02-24 12:20:51 PM
Immigants! I knew it was them! Even when it was the bears, I knew it was them.

/obligatory Simpsons quote mode
 
2004-02-24 12:24:58 PM
I'd rather see the bears eat mountain bikers in the summer anyways.
 
2004-02-24 12:31:57 PM
Headline = funny. Thanks for a laugh.
 
2004-02-24 12:38:08 PM
"We know these grizzly bears intimately "

eww
 
2004-02-24 12:38:41 PM
This is much cooler than groundhog day. If the bear wakes up and sees his shadow, he eats the handler and there's six more weeks of winter. If he wakes up and doesn't see his shadow, he eats the handler and it's an early spring.
 
2004-02-24 12:40:25 PM
2004-02-24 12:24:58 PM laid back w/bud light
I'd rather see the bears eat mountain bikers in the summer anyways.


Isn't that the job of the mountain lions?
 
2004-02-24 12:55:18 PM
dredogg
Isn't that the job of the mountain lions?

Yea, bears just eat the tourists who stop on the side of the road, cover their kids arms with honey, and try to feed Yogi.
 
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