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(ESPN)   The Seachickens are already #1. Let's cancel the season and play the Super Bowl tomorrow (Week 1 Power Rankings)   (espn.go.com ) divider line
    More: Unlikely, Logan Mankins, ESPN Power Panel, Nick Foles, DeMarcus Ware, rushing yards, Keenan Allen, Von Miller, Colin Kaepernick  
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2393 clicks; posted to Sports » on 02 Sep 2014 at 5:43 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



213 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2014-09-02 02:13:23 PM  
Starting the 2014 NFL season as a respectable #2...

THE DENVER BRONCOS!!! :D

i1182.photobucket.com
 
2014-09-02 02:26:20 PM  
You mentioned the Superb Owl without cutting a check to Roger Goodell. Prepare to be sued into oblivion, subby.
 
2014-09-02 02:27:49 PM  
Can't argue with that. Although we do have to play Derek Carr again this season. I guess chalk that one up as a loss and my 13-3 prediction becomes 12-4 and the Saints get #1.
 
2014-09-02 02:59:17 PM  
Are we gonna stick with ESPN rankings this year? Because we have to decide RIGHT THIS SECOND!


Captain Steroid: Starting the 2014 NFL season as a respectable #2...

THE DENVER BRONCOS!!! :D

[i1182.photobucket.com image 712x395]


Yeah, they're number two alright.
 
2014-09-02 03:03:23 PM  
The Seahawks definitely deserve to be at #1. They are the defending Super Bowl champs, they didn't lose any major pieces in the offseason, their coaching staff is intact, and they made it through the preseason without any significant injuries or domestic violence or other legal troubles (Hi, Niners!). Only a bunch of morons would not rank a team number one under those same circumstances.
 
2014-09-02 03:12:43 PM  

Di Atribe: Are we gonna stick with ESPN rankings this year? Because we have to decide RIGHT THIS SECOND!


Captain Steroid: Starting the 2014 NFL season as a respectable #2...

THE DENVER BRONCOS!!! :D

[i1182.photobucket.com image 712x395]

Yeah, they're number two alright.


Espn is just as full of sh*t as everyone else. I see no reason to switch.
 
2014-09-02 03:21:18 PM  
Ugh. Steelers were considered a lot more favorably until they stunk up the preseason.
 
2014-09-02 03:38:57 PM  
Stick with ESPN.  They get their rankings out on Tuesday, and they are pretty clueless so the inconsistency gives us something to mock.
 
2014-09-02 03:43:13 PM  

Gecko Gingrich: Shame Us: Espn is just as full of sh*t as everyone else. I see no reason to switch.

Because grafs.


Well, because grafs is why we need to decide now. It just seems like every year, we get about halfway through the season & people are like, "ESPN sucks, we should use blahblahsprots.com instead." Howerver....

FuManchu7: Stick with ESPN.  They get their rankings out on Tuesday, and they are pretty clueless so the inconsistency gives us something to mock.


This is the real reason we stay. Not for the quality, but for the lulz. Let's all remember this as we plunge into this season. I'll go get started on the GRAF (nothing to see until next week anyway).

FOOTBALL THREADS ARE BACK WHOOOOOOOOOO
 
2014-09-02 03:59:43 PM  
1.  Football is back!  WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

2.  WHO DAT!

3.  Some team needs to pick up Michael Sam.  Living in MO, we get to see every MU game on regional TV, and that kid really is good, imo.  He's at least good enough for a practice squad, ffs.

4.  I really hope Rich Sherman cuts a WWE style promo before Thursday's game

5.  ____ is best pony
 
2014-09-02 03:59:58 PM  
Are the Bears #10 simply because the offense is that good, or is this just a reflection on the quality of Buffalo as an opponent?

/the offense is good for 11 wins this year
//D/ST is good for three losses
 
2014-09-02 04:07:17 PM  

Grand_Moff_Joseph: 3. Some team needs to pick up Michael Sam. Living in MO, we get to see every MU game on regional TV, and that kid really is good, imo. He's at least good enough for a practice squad, ffs.


I'd love to have him come play in Dallas. Have you seen our defense?

No really, it seems to be missing. If found, please deliver to Valley Ranch, Irving TX 75063

img.fark.net
 
2014-09-02 04:09:37 PM  

Di Atribe: Grand_Moff_Joseph: 3. Some team needs to pick up Michael Sam. Living in MO, we get to see every MU game on regional TV, and that kid really is good, imo. He's at least good enough for a practice squad, ffs.

I'd love to have him come play in Dallas. Have you seen our defense?

No really, it seems to be missing. If found, please deliver to Valley Ranch, Irving TX 75063

[img.fark.net image 450x450]


As much as I rag on the Cowboys, even I'd be okay with this.  Sam has def. earned a legit shot out there, imo... regardless of the team.  :)

And D does need some defense for sure.
 
2014-09-02 04:17:13 PM  

Di Atribe: Captain Steroid: Starting the 2014 NFL season as a respectable #2...

THE DENVER BRONCOS!!! :D

[i1182.photobucket.com image 712x395]


Yeah, they're number two alright.


sportsblogs.star-telegram.com
 
2014-09-02 04:21:01 PM  

Di Atribe: Grand_Moff_Joseph: 3. Some team needs to pick up Michael Sam. Living in MO, we get to see every MU game on regional TV, and that kid really is good, imo. He's at least good enough for a practice squad, ffs.

I'd love to have him come play in Dallas. Have you seen our defense?

No really, it seems to be missing. If found, please deliver to Valley Ranch, Irving TX 75063

[img.fark.net image 450x450]


You guys snagged Korey Toomer from us. Great athlete, super speedy. If he can stay healthy you might have a diamond in the rough at LB. Of course, the reason he was cut is because he's been through 3 preseasons with us and been injured in each one.
 
2014-09-02 04:25:58 PM  

Shame Us: You guys snagged Korey Toomer from us. Great athlete, super speedy. If he can stay healthy you might have a diamond in the rough at LB. Of course, the reason he was cut is because he's been through 3 preseasons with us and been injured in each one.


Yeah, all anyone has focused on is who we've lost (Ware, Lee, Hatcher). I think we've made some decent additions. We shall see where that gets us. I'm optimistic, yet not really holding my breath.
 
2014-09-02 04:44:34 PM  

Di Atribe: Grand_Moff_Joseph: 3. Some team needs to pick up Michael Sam. Living in MO, we get to see every MU game on regional TV, and that kid really is good, imo. He's at least good enough for a practice squad, ffs.

I'd love to have him come play in Dallas. Have you seen our defense?

No really, it seems to be missing. If found, please deliver to Valley Ranch, Irving TX 75063

[img.fark.net image 450x450]


Sure Di, just what Jerry and Jason need.  Another undersized, average speed DE to go with the other schlubs we have up there.
 
2014-09-02 04:56:12 PM  
Starting at #16, the very definition of mediocre... your KANSAS CITY CHIEFS

img.fark.net

Di Atribe: into this season. I'll go get started on the GRAF (nothing to see until next week anyway).

FOOTBALL THREADS ARE BACK WHOOOOOOOOOO


\m/

I missed y'all

/Sorry, my country comes out when I get all 'motional and shiat.
 
2014-09-02 05:01:08 PM  
Uh..... actually.... breaking news just coming across my cellular device here....

The Cowboys have signed Michael Sam to the practice squad.
 
2014-09-02 05:01:44 PM  
Giants are way too high. :(
 
2014-09-02 05:06:54 PM  

Di Atribe: Uh..... actually.... breaking news just coming across my cellular device here....

The Cowboys have signed Michael Sam to the practice squad.


It might be tough for him to break through to the varsity with the totally stacked defense the Cowboys have fielded this year.

In all seriousness, I never understood the people who acted like him not making the Rams was the end of the line. He's proven himself a capable football player. He might not have size or speed, but he might be able to make up for it with guile. It's not like he'd be the first ever player cut in camp to find his way to the NFL via a practice squad.
 
2014-09-02 05:10:46 PM  

JerseyTim: It might be tough for him to break through to the varsity with the totally stacked defense the Cowboys have fielded this year.

In all seriousness

.....

True real outside of my face laughter. :)
 
2014-09-02 05:13:47 PM  
WHAR GRAF WH-- oh, nevermind, she's on it.

/what plot points whar
 
2014-09-02 05:15:41 PM  

Quasar: Ugh. Steelers were considered a lot more favorably until they stunk up the preseason.


But hey, they actually WON a preseason game this year!

That means we'll be 3-5 in our first 8 games!

/beat browns week 1 then go under for a bit
 
2014-09-02 05:23:00 PM  

Di Atribe: Uh..... actually.... breaking news just coming across my cellular device here....

The Cowboys have signed Michael Sam to the practice squad.


So, do we both get a wizard hat for this one?  lol

/good luck to Sam, seriously  :)
 
2014-09-02 05:26:02 PM  

Shame Us: Espn is just as full of sh*t as everyone else. I see no reason to switch.


Hey, my rankings are legit because they use, like, math 'n stuff. Speaking of which, I have to finish setting up the spreadsheet for this season.
 
2014-09-02 05:28:09 PM  

nmrsnr: Shame Us: Espn is just as full of sh*t as everyone else. I see no reason to switch.

Hey, my rankings are legit because they use, like, math 'n stuff. Speaking of which, I have to finish setting up the spreadsheet for this season.


As long as the Delhomme Meter stays intact, we're all good.  :)
 
2014-09-02 05:28:45 PM  

nmrsnr: Shame Us: Espn is just as full of sh*t as everyone else. I see no reason to switch.

Hey, my rankings are legit because they use, like, math 'n stuff. Speaking of which, I have to finish setting up the spreadsheet for this season.


Just remember - Seahawks go on top.
 
2014-09-02 05:33:07 PM  
The Vikings are ranked too damn high. I would rank them 30th. And the Lions are ranked a little high as well (I'd drop them into 23rd place, mainly because no secondary in a pass-happy division). Ratibirds and Stealers are also ranked too high (they should be at 17th and 18th). And the Jests? WAY too damn high (they should be down at 28th).
 
2014-09-02 05:34:04 PM  

Shame Us: Just remember - Seahawks go on top.


I'm now tempted to post my rankings this season with the Seahawks first regardless of their position. Like:

9. Seahawks
1. Colts
2....
 
2014-09-02 05:35:12 PM  

Grand_Moff_Joseph: nmrsnr: Shame Us: Espn is just as full of sh*t as everyone else. I see no reason to switch.

Hey, my rankings are legit because they use, like, math 'n stuff. Speaking of which, I have to finish setting up the spreadsheet for this season.

As long as the Delhomme Meter stays intact, we're all good.  :)


Hear hear! And I'm calling it now: We *will* see someone go Full Jake this year, possibly before the half-way point.
 
2014-09-02 05:39:58 PM  
FALCONS WEEK

i2.photobucket.com
 
2014-09-02 05:41:39 PM  

Incorrigible Astronaut: I missed y'all


DanZero: WHAR GRAF WH-- oh, nevermind, she's on it.


I missed you guys so much. :)


Grand_Moff_Joseph: So, do we both get a wizard hat for this one? lol


The GIS for "two-headed wizard hat" got weird, so I made my own crappy MSPaint picture:

img.fark.net

And even though I swore to myself I wouldn't read the comments on the local news's fb page, I snuck a peek and so far, mostly good. Fingers crossed that the ol' Texas "do what you want as long as it doesn't affect me" attitude sticks with this one.
 
2014-09-02 05:44:30 PM  

nmrsnr: I'm now tempted to post my rankings this season with the Seahawks first regardless of their position. Like:

9. Seahawks
1. Colts
2....


I vote in favor of this.
 
2014-09-02 05:44:36 PM  
Yah a green!

I guess I should get around to getting TF one of these days so I can be in the discussion.

/ 8 greens in only 11 years
 
2014-09-02 05:45:21 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: You mentioned the Superb Owl without cutting a check to Roger Goodell. Prepare to be sued into oblivion, subby.


Great. So that's the price of fame.
 
2014-09-02 05:46:47 PM  

Nabb1: The Seahawks definitely deserve to be at #1. They are the defending Super Bowl champs, they didn't lose any major pieces in the offseason, their coaching staff is intact, and they made it through the preseason without any significant injuries or domestic violence or other legal troubles (Hi, Niners!). Only a bunch of morons would not rank a team number one under those same circumstances.


Oh I totally agree. I just wanted to go for the most inflammatory headline I could think of :)
 
2014-09-02 05:48:29 PM  

Di Atribe: The GIS for "two-headed wizard hat" got weird, so I made my own crappy MSPaint picture:


That's still 100% better paint skills than I have, lol!  Nice!  :D
 
2014-09-02 05:51:07 PM  

cfreak: Nabb1: The Seahawks definitely deserve to be at #1. They are the defending Super Bowl champs, they didn't lose any major pieces in the offseason, their coaching staff is intact, and they made it through the preseason without any significant injuries or domestic violence or other legal troubles (Hi, Niners!). Only a bunch of morons would not rank a team number one under those same circumstances.

Oh I totally agree. I just wanted to go for the most inflammatory headline I could think of :)


nah, if you really wanted an inflammatory headline, you should have gone with:

"ESPN gives Trollhawks the top ranking as a professional courtesy before replacing them with the Browns in week two, per memo from Tebow"

xD
 
2014-09-02 05:51:46 PM  
Muh Raiders, lulz.

I have a feeling this season will be entertaining no matter how bad it is.
 
2014-09-02 05:51:47 PM  

cfreak: Nabb1: The Seahawks definitely deserve to be at #1. They are the defending Super Bowl champs, they didn't lose any major pieces in the offseason, their coaching staff is intact, and they made it through the preseason without any significant injuries or domestic violence or other legal troubles (Hi, Niners!). Only a bunch of morons would not rank a team number one under those same circumstances.

Oh I totally agree. I just wanted to go for the most inflammatory headline I could think of :)


Sorry, I wasn't knocking your headline. I like the headline just fine. After the Saints won the Super Bowl, ESPN ranked the Steelers #1 in the preseason power poll, so I always take a little dig at them every year in the first poll when they put the defending champ #1.
 
2014-09-02 05:52:09 PM  

Di Atribe: Are we gonna stick with ESPN rankings this year? Because we have to decide RIGHT THIS SECOND!


I'm late to this party but I prefer ESPN to anything else. None of them are great.
 
2014-09-02 05:53:23 PM  
We're number 32!  We're number 32!!!
 
2014-09-02 05:55:22 PM  

Lt. Cheese Weasel: Di Atribe: Grand_Moff_Joseph: 3. Some team needs to pick up Michael Sam. Living in MO, we get to see every MU game on regional TV, and that kid really is good, imo. He's at least good enough for a practice squad, ffs.

I'd love to have him come play in Dallas. Have you seen our defense?

No really, it seems to be missing. If found, please deliver to Valley Ranch, Irving TX 75063

[img.fark.net image 450x450]

Sure Di, just what Jerry and Jason need.  Another undersized, average speed DE to go with the other schlubs we have up there.


Cry, and then Cry moar.
 
2014-09-02 05:55:52 PM  
Saltchickens you farking knave
 
2014-09-02 05:57:54 PM  
Ok really.  How is San Fran 4?
They are going to be a train wreck with all of their off the field issues, suspensions, and their obvious coach vs GM situtation.

Oh, and Frank Gore is 523-years old in NFL years.

/Outrage.
 
2014-09-02 05:58:17 PM  
If the Cardinals go 10-6, I will give Bill Bidwill, Sr. a handy at the 50 yard line during the National Anthem.
 
2014-09-02 05:59:06 PM  
Number 7

d13s5ta1qg2cax.cloudfront.net
 
2014-09-02 05:59:34 PM  

Jiro Dreams Of McRibs: If the Cardinals go 10-6, I will give Bill Bidwill, Sr. a handy at the 50 yard line during the National Anthem.


I would not be able to avert my eyes from that, but I wouldn't enjoy watching.
 
2014-09-02 06:01:28 PM  

cfreak: Yah a green!

I guess I should get around to getting TF one of these days so I can be in the discussion.

/ 8 greens in only 11 years


Awww. Thanks DiI'll never be able to leave will I?
 
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