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(NASCAR)   Racing under the lights, Smoke's return and Happy Harvick on the pole will combine to make a very interesting race. It's the Oral-B USA 500 from Atlanta (7:30 PM ET, ESPN)   (nascar.com) divider line 860
    More: Cool  
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151 clicks; posted to Sports » on 31 Aug 2014 at 6:30 PM (35 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-08-31 12:38:04 AM  

Are you not sports entertained?



d262ilb51hltx0.cloudfront.net

Pay attention, folks, its time once again for...

Your weekly NASFARK checklist! Ever changing and updated on the fly, just like the NASCAR rulebook.


(Created by    DanZero &     bluorangefyre, with contributions from Professor Farksworth, QueenMamaBee, Mzltplx,and a bunch of other Fark racing fans!)


1) Every 25th post is "DANICA," every 500th post is "CHECKERED FLAG!," hardcore gredunzas count, and every 1,100th post is, "Screw the gredunza, I just did the double!"
2) While we were away!
3) Somebody comes in with a humorous "left/right turn/going in circles" comment
4) BOOGITY in some form when race starts
5) Idols/Buddhas/Transformers/Reactors being fired up
6) Complaints about LOLTNT & FUESPN race coverage (or if in LOLTNT/FUESPN coverage, how bad it is and how we pine for FOX again) ONLY VALID FOR 2014!
7) Green flag pit stops
8) The inevitable race commentator foul up
9)  ESPN constantly bringing up the Tony Stewart incident and/or showing the video
10) Phantom cautions
11) "Austin Dillon driving car number three... the number made famous by the late/great Dale Earnhardt."
12) Pony deployment ONLY in the following instances: sad Rainbow Dash when Princess Crumplefenders (AKA Danica) inevitably wrecks, charging Rainbow Dash if she's in the top 10, Nightmare Moon or Trixie (thanks girls!) if we need some extra mojo to help the idols and Buddhas defeat car #48
13) Complaints and such if Jimmie Johnson wins again and celebrations from his fan(s)
14) Race is official when Kvapil, Reutimann, Wise, or any BK Racing driver bring out the caution (can be more than one)
15) BONUS OFFICIAL RACE: Mikey brings out the yellow
16) Something to do with potato salad and/or sugar free gummi bears
17) SPECIAL BONUS: One of us is actually at the track
18) Something not meant to catch fire does
19) We are reminded about how a track is famous for The Big One/Darlington Stripe/Eating tires/Fuel Mileage races.
20) "Because #3 car"
21) Race is boring... what are you drinking?
22) "Lord baby Jesus, smite Logano's engine!"
23) Somebody asking why they don't run in the rain followed by a quick explaination why its not a good idea
24) Idol collateral damage warning
25) DanZero's commercial/side-by-side recap from last week and mid-race report
26) The Bestest with the current Chase seeding after the race
27) DamnitKyle(n)!
 
2014-08-31 12:40:49 AM  
NASFARK TWITTER LIST!(Updated 8/17/2014)

bluorangefyre - @bluorangefyre
QueenMamaBee - @KyJockeyLuvr
Mztlplx - @tinfoil_fedora
Professor Farksworth - @DrueBernardi
Foaming - @EvanOlson
Gonz - @Ben_Deckos
radiofreewill - @insert_funny
bionicjoe - @bionicjoe
anniesmom - @GlammaSandyto2

Follow us and add your name to this list!  Also, seek thee out NASFARK on the Book of Faces post haste for other racing news and other general goodness/weirdness!
 
2014-08-31 12:59:07 AM  
NASCOMMERCIAL
 
2014-08-31 09:46:22 AM  
Forgot who did this but this was from a few days ago

img.photobucket.com
 
2014-08-31 09:47:22 AM  
@NASCAR_Wonka

Joey Logano had this put up in the hauler.

pbs.twimg.com
 
2014-08-31 10:28:10 AM  

DanZero: Forgot who did this but this was from a few days ago

[img.photobucket.com image 600x399]


Also, they will remove channels people enjoy watching and replace them with three more Fox News Channels.
 
2014-08-31 11:13:10 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-08-31 11:36:14 AM  
I will probably be watching this and the truck race on DVR. Working an Aston Martin track day. The trucks will be great. Mo-Sport is the second best race of the year.
 
2014-08-31 02:27:26 PM  
For some reason, I feel like the Oral B USA 500 is going to leave a bad taste in my mouth.

Better put some Fireball in the KyBu Idol tonight
 
2014-08-31 04:27:00 PM  

Cup Check: For some reason, I feel like the Oral B USA 500 is going to leave a bad taste in my mouth.

Better put some Fireball in the KyBu Idol tonight


I forget what section of the idol accords its in, but all idols are supposed to be tuned to HWSNBN, and once he's eliminated, THEN changed around.
 
2014-08-31 06:34:46 PM  
Let's go, Smoke! Get in the Chase!
 
2014-08-31 06:40:48 PM  

bluorangefyre: Are you not sports entertained?

[d262ilb51hltx0.cloudfront.net image 640x310]Pay attention, folks, its time once again for...

Your weekly NASFARK checklist! Ever changing and updated on the fly, just like the NASCAR rulebook.
(Created by    DanZero &     bluorangefyre, with contributions from Professor Farksworth, QueenMamaBee, Mzltplx,and a bunch of other Fark racing fans!)
...blah, blah, blah...


farkin eh, Drew.  If you don't want anyone talking about this race, why do you even bother posting a thread?
 
2014-08-31 06:44:02 PM  

bluorangefyre: Cup Check: For some reason, I feel like the Oral B USA 500 is going to leave a bad taste in my mouth.

Better put some Fireball in the KyBu Idol tonight

I forget what section of the idol accords its in, but all idols are supposed to be tuned to HWSNBN, and once he's eliminated, THEN changed around.


Somebody keeps on sneaking in and re-targets the idol on KyBu, and they NEED TO STOP THAT SHIAT UNTIL THE 48 IS TOAST! Hear me? Take out the 48 first, *then* re-target! Priority after the 48 is Logano, Evil Opie, whichever Busch is being the biggest dick that race, Austin Dillion, then at least one random Chase driver, IN THAT ORDER!
 
2014-08-31 06:46:26 PM  
Will probably be alternating between being at laptop and lying on the couch asleep... Been having some weird exhaustion/stomach problems since last night. Stomach acting a bit bubbly, like it wants to throw up. :/ I just got home from work though so maybe that'll help my body to behave.

Go Jeff! Help out QMB ~
 
2014-08-31 06:49:40 PM  
I'd like to see a first time winner today. Larson if I have to pick, but mainly no one who has won this year.
 
2014-08-31 06:49:54 PM  
It's the Oral-B USA 500 from Atlanta

www.outsidethebeltway.com

/ low hangin' fruit
 
2014-08-31 06:53:56 PM  

veedeevadeevoodee: It's the Oral-B USA 500 from Atlanta

[www.outsidethebeltway.com image 300x217]

/ low hangin' fruit


Ugh, I'd give that an Oral-D or an Oral-F.
 
2014-08-31 06:54:53 PM  
Watching trucks now. (Was able to cut out from my race duties early). This shiat is funny. Truck road racing is not normal.
 
2014-08-31 06:56:58 PM  

crotchgrabber: I'd like to see a first time winner today. Larson if I have to pick, but mainly no one who has won this year.


DANICA!!!

/yeah, I know. Chubby chance of that. But I sure would like to see her run that car like she did at Kansas and Charlotte earlier this season
 
2014-08-31 06:58:12 PM  

ClavellBCMI: bluorangefyre: Cup Check: For some reason, I feel like the Oral B USA 500 is going to leave a bad taste in my mouth.

Better put some Fireball in the KyBu Idol tonight

I forget what section of the idol accords its in, but all idols are supposed to be tuned to HWSNBN, and once he's eliminated, THEN changed around.

Somebody keeps on sneaking in and re-targets the idol on KyBu, and they NEED TO STOP THAT SHIAT UNTIL THE 48 IS TOAST! Hear me? Take out the 48 first, *then* re-target! Priority after the 48 is Logano, Evil Opie, whichever Busch is being the biggest dick that race, Austin Dillion, then at least one random Chase driver, IN THAT ORDER!


Speaking of He Who Should Not Drive #3, I wonder what trickery Helton/France will pull to ensure he's in the Chase because #3 car?
 
2014-08-31 06:58:12 PM  

crotchgrabber: Watching trucks now. (Was able to cut out from my race duties early). This shiat is funny. Truck road racing is not normal.


I caught the last 10 laps.

Stick around for that finish - that's all I'm saying.
 
2014-08-31 06:59:03 PM  
So the official tweet gives refers to the start as "green flag" and not "boogities." Dafuq is wrong with those people???
 
2014-08-31 07:01:34 PM  

bluorangefyre: ClavellBCMI: bluorangefyre: Cup Check: For some reason, I feel like the Oral B USA 500 is going to leave a bad taste in my mouth.

Better put some Fireball in the KyBu Idol tonight

I forget what section of the idol accords its in, but all idols are supposed to be tuned to HWSNBN, and once he's eliminated, THEN changed around.

Somebody keeps on sneaking in and re-targets the idol on KyBu, and they NEED TO STOP THAT SHIAT UNTIL THE 48 IS TOAST! Hear me? Take out the 48 first, *then* re-target! Priority after the 48 is Logano, Evil Opie, whichever Busch is being the biggest dick that race, Austin Dillion, then at least one random Chase driver, IN THAT ORDER!

Speaking of He Who Should Not Drive #3, I wonder what trickery Helton/France will pull to ensure he's in the Chase because #3 car?


Isn't the other Dillon racing tonight? I'm pretty sure they said that last night, however I was on a large quantity of cold and allergy meds, so it could have been a hallucination.

Also, I'm having a hard time remembering which Dillon is the douchebag and which is the "special" one.
 
2014-08-31 07:01:40 PM  
Well thankfully ESPN didn't show a still of the incident itself, but the incident which caused the incident.
 
2014-08-31 07:01:41 PM  
Welp, as soon as we turned to ESPN, they're talking about Tony Stewart and the incident. Pathetic. :/
 
2014-08-31 07:02:46 PM  

SeikaArashi: Welp, as soon as we turned to ESPN, they're talking about Tony Stewart and the incident. Pathetic. :/


Glad I'm still drying my hair and not to the tv yet.
 
2014-08-31 07:06:33 PM  
lacomercia.com
 
2014-08-31 07:07:08 PM  

QueenMamaBee: SeikaArashi: Welp, as soon as we turned to ESPN, they're talking about Tony Stewart and the incident. Pathetic. :/

Glad I'm still drying my hair and not to the tv yet.


Only thing I'm glad is that they showed the entirety of Stewart's statement. I haven't been able to see it because of data overage on my internet and phone, but man, that was heartbreaking to listen to him. :(

I'm so glad that he is back though.
 
2014-08-31 07:07:52 PM  
I bet all the drivers stay in their cars tonight.
 
2014-08-31 07:08:08 PM  
Dogecoin cap.  Much placement.  Kinda tacky.
 
2014-08-31 07:09:11 PM  
END IT OR I WILL!!!
www.wwe.com
 
2014-08-31 07:09:20 PM  
Not to interrupt from the conspiracy theories, but if you haven't seen the Truck race yet, make sure you do, or at least the last few laps.  Some real good racing there.
 
2014-08-31 07:09:25 PM  

Clutch2013: crotchgrabber: Watching trucks now. (Was able to cut out from my race duties early). This shiat is funny. Truck road racing is not normal.

I caught the last 10 laps.

Stick around for that finish - that's all I'm saying.


Dude! That was farking awesome. I've been saying it for a while, Quiroga is one to watch for the future.
 
2014-08-31 07:10:27 PM  

QueenMamaBee: bluorangefyre: ClavellBCMI: bluorangefyre: Cup Check: For some reason, I feel like the Oral B USA 500 is going to leave a bad taste in my mouth.

Better put some Fireball in the KyBu Idol tonight

I forget what section of the idol accords its in, but all idols are supposed to be tuned to HWSNBN, and once he's eliminated, THEN changed around.

Somebody keeps on sneaking in and re-targets the idol on KyBu, and they NEED TO STOP THAT SHIAT UNTIL THE 48 IS TOAST! Hear me? Take out the 48 first, *then* re-target! Priority after the 48 is Logano, Evil Opie, whichever Busch is being the biggest dick that race, Austin Dillion, then at least one random Chase driver, IN THAT ORDER!

Speaking of He Who Should Not Drive #3, I wonder what trickery Helton/France will pull to ensure he's in the Chase because #3 car?

Isn't the other Dillon racing tonight? I'm pretty sure they said that last night, however I was on a large quantity of cold and allergy meds, so it could have been a hallucination.

Also, I'm having a hard time remembering which Dillon is the douchebag and which is the "special" one.


Ty is the one that still gets crayons for his birthday.
 
2014-08-31 07:11:37 PM  
Wow that's a hell of an ovation. I don't think I even heard any boos.
 
2014-08-31 07:12:19 PM  
Well the crowd responded quite well to Smoke.  Either that, or ESPN asked WWE to send in the cheers they pipe in for John Cena.
 
2014-08-31 07:13:23 PM  

Professor Farksworth: Wow that's a hell of an ovation. I don't think I even heard any boos.


I heard a couple, but for the most part, that was an ovation. And a farking awesome one at that.
 
2014-08-31 07:15:41 PM  
We should still try to get a FARK car next year. Maybe get Haribo Sugarfree Gummies as a sponsor.
 
2014-08-31 07:15:50 PM  
Um, has ANYTHING else happened in NASCAR this week?  I mean, at all?  Did they have qualifying?
 
2014-08-31 07:16:09 PM  
Tonight we drink every time we hear "Tony Stewart"
 
2014-08-31 07:16:10 PM  

crotchgrabber: QueenMamaBee: bluorangefyre: ClavellBCMI: bluorangefyre: Cup Check: For some reason, I feel like the Oral B USA 500 is going to leave a bad taste in my mouth.

Better put some Fireball in the KyBu Idol tonight

I forget what section of the idol accords its in, but all idols are supposed to be tuned to HWSNBN, and once he's eliminated, THEN changed around.

Somebody keeps on sneaking in and re-targets the idol on KyBu, and they NEED TO STOP THAT SHIAT UNTIL THE 48 IS TOAST! Hear me? Take out the 48 first, *then* re-target! Priority after the 48 is Logano, Evil Opie, whichever Busch is being the biggest dick that race, Austin Dillion, then at least one random Chase driver, IN THAT ORDER!

Speaking of He Who Should Not Drive #3, I wonder what trickery Helton/France will pull to ensure he's in the Chase because #3 car?

Isn't the other Dillon racing tonight? I'm pretty sure they said that last night, however I was on a large quantity of cold and allergy meds, so it could have been a hallucination.

Also, I'm having a hard time remembering which Dillon is the douchebag and which is the "special" one.

Ty is the one that still gets crayons for his birthday.


That's beautiful. I've spent a good five minutes giggling
 
2014-08-31 07:16:47 PM  

The Bestest: We should still try to get a FARK car next year. Maybe get Haribo Sugarfree Gummies as a sponsor.


Can we put Buddha on it?  Or beyond that, an idol?
 
2014-08-31 07:17:30 PM  

Obscene_CNN: Tonight we drink every time we hear "Tony Stewart"


We're gonna be drunk before the green flag drops, near comatose by lap 3, and dead from alcohol poisoning by lap 10!
 
2014-08-31 07:17:38 PM  

Obscene_CNN: Tonight we drink every time we hear "Tony Stewart"


Might as well get us all on the liver transplant list
 
2014-08-31 07:19:01 PM  

bluorangefyre: Obscene_CNN: Tonight we drink every time we hear "Tony Stewart"

We're gonna be drunk before the green flag drops, near comatose by lap 3, and dead from alcohol poisoning by lap 10!


This is FARK after all
 
2014-08-31 07:19:38 PM  
EIGHTEEN MINUTES ESPN!!!  Was it necessary to drive it home for most of NASCAR Countdown?
 
2014-08-31 07:21:07 PM  
Which one of you Farkers is always talking about Lucas electric components? I've got a great pic, but I'm mobile right now.
 
2014-08-31 07:24:35 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-08-31 07:27:37 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-08-31 07:31:35 PM  
www.turnerscottmotorsports.com
 
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