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(Guardian)   Read the lost chapter from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory   (theguardian.com ) divider line
    More: Cool  
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3542 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 30 Aug 2014 at 11:16 PM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-08-30 09:10:37 PM  
subby's always trying to tell me what to do at every turn. "Read Lost Chapter From Charlie and the Chocolate Factory", "Photoshop This Clever Cat", "Don't Take Your Dick Out At The Chuck E Cheese"...it never ends.
 
2014-08-30 11:28:20 PM  
Interesting, but I can see why he cut it -- it sounds like there were eight kids in the draft instead of five, and the two who get lost at the fudge mountain are basically like Veruca Salt (headstrong, spoiled, won't listen) but without being as entertaining, plus the fudge thing was already done with Augustus Gloop (or Pottle). It reminds me of the Wasp In A Wig chapter from Alice in Wonderland -- not a bad read in itself, but compare it to what was published and you can see why it was cut.

/recently found my mother's childhood copy of Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, in which the Oompa-Loompas came from Africa instead of Loompaland. A little startling, especially the illustrations -- just as well Dahl edited that part as well.
 
2014-08-30 11:32:47 PM  
Yet not a word about the Vanilla Fudge and the mud shark incident at the Edgewater Inn.......
 
2014-08-30 11:56:45 PM  
Its more like a paragraph than a chapter.
 
2014-08-31 12:04:23 AM  

BalugaJoe: Its more like a paragraph than a chapter.


Cheer up, Charlie.
 
2014-08-31 12:23:56 AM  
CSB: I did a community theater production of "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory". I helped build the set and was the biggest damn oompa-loompah in the bunch. After the final performance, a little kid ran up to me and gave me a sweaty pink jelly bean she had been keeping in her hand. She told me I was her favorite oompah-loompah. The feels....
 
2014-08-31 12:50:27 AM  
Dammit. If this chapter had been published, my Fark username might have been Fudge Mountain!
 
2014-08-31 01:21:10 AM  

Bathysphere: CSB: I did a community theater production of "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory". I helped build the set and was the biggest damn oompa-loompah in the bunch. After the final performance, a little kid ran up to me and gave me a sweaty pink jelly bean she had been keeping in her hand. She told me I was her favorite oompah-loompah. The feels....


Awwwwwwwwwwwwww That is just too precious.

So what did you do with the jelly bean?
 
2014-08-31 01:33:23 AM  
Is this the chapter that explains that Wonka was a serial killer who harvested the organs of the kids who "disappeared" in his factory for creating new candies?
 
2014-08-31 01:49:12 AM  

RenownedCurator: it sounds like there were eight kids in the draft instead of five


Ten, more likely; Augustus had already met his fate at this point in the story, as had another child named Miranda Grope.

My guess would be that Dahl (or his editors) later decided there wasn't much of a point to introducing so many characters, only to dispatch the children two-by-two, and so they were whittled down to the classic Gloop/Salt/Beuregarde/Teavee/Bucket quadrumvirate.
 
2014-08-31 01:56:53 AM  
They finally get their due.

www.glidemagazine.com
 
2014-08-31 02:02:27 AM  

nimawai: Bathysphere: CSB: I did a community theater production of "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory". I helped build the set and was the biggest damn oompa-loompah in the bunch. After the final performance, a little kid ran up to me and gave me a sweaty pink jelly bean she had been keeping in her hand. She told me I was her favorite oompah-loompah. The feels....

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww That is just too precious.

So what did you do with the jelly bean?


I definitely did not eat it, that's for sure.
 
2014-08-31 03:29:17 AM  

Mugato: subby's always trying to tell me what to do at every turn. "Read Lost Chapter From Charlie and the Chocolate Factory", "Photoshop This Clever Cat", "Don't Take Your Dick Out At The Chuck E Cheese"...it never ends.


24.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-08-31 05:26:06 AM  
Big Mountain Fudgecake?
i.ytimg.com
 
2014-08-31 05:38:01 AM  

Bathysphere: nimawai: Bathysphere: CSB: I did a community theater production of "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory". I helped build the set and was the biggest damn oompa-loompah in the bunch. After the final performance, a little kid ran up to me and gave me a sweaty pink jelly bean she had been keeping in her hand. She told me I was her favorite oompah-loompah. The feels....

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww That is just too precious.

So what did you do with the jelly bean?

I definitely did not eat it, that's for sure.


Well I would hope not. lol
 
2014-08-31 05:47:08 AM  

RenownedCurator: Interesting, but I can see why he cut it -- it sounds like there were eight kids in the draft instead of five, and the two who get lost at the fudge mountain are basically like Veruca Salt (headstrong, spoiled, won't listen) but without being as entertaining, plus the fudge thing was already done with Augustus Gloop (or Pottle). It reminds me of the Wasp In A Wig chapter from Alice in Wonderland -- not a bad read in itself, but compare it to what was published and you can see why it was cut.

/recently found my mother's childhood copy of Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, in which the Oompa-Loompas came from Africa instead of Loompaland. A little startling, especially the illustrations -- just as well Dahl edited that part as well.


I had no idea his estate had made changes for sensitive folk, though it isn't surprising, I wonder if many of his short stories have similarly been made more palatable for the easily offended. I've got everything he ever published, all either first or second editions. Dude had a crazy, very unfortunate life.
 
2014-08-31 06:13:56 AM  
Did the chapter have schnozberries in it?

/dnrtfa
 
2014-08-31 06:41:12 AM  
Charlie and the MURDER factory.
 
2014-08-31 07:47:07 AM  
Fudge Room?

There's always room for more fudge.

Well there WAS always room for more fudge until they caned that notion out of me at Fat Camp.
 
2014-08-31 08:01:24 AM  
Grandpa Joe better get murdered and fed to the oompa loompas. He's a free-loading assclown. Fark that guy.
 
2014-08-31 08:41:49 AM  

poot_rootbeer: the classic Gloop/Salt/Beuregarde/Teavee/Bucket quadrumvirate.


1...2...3...4...?
 
2014-08-31 10:08:45 AM  
Is it the chapter where Wonka shows his final solution for kosher chocolate?
 
2014-08-31 10:17:02 AM  

Bathysphere: CSB: I did a community theater production of "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory". I helped build the set and was the biggest damn oompa-loompah in the bunch. After the final performance, a little kid ran up to me and gave me a sweaty pink jelly bean she had been keeping in her hand. She told me I was her favorite oompah-loompah. The feels....


Had you been offering her candy prior to that?
 
2014-08-31 01:14:21 PM  

robohobo: RenownedCurator: Interesting, but I can see why he cut it -- it sounds like there were eight kids in the draft instead of five, and the two who get lost at the fudge mountain are basically like Veruca Salt (headstrong, spoiled, won't listen) but without being as entertaining, plus the fudge thing was already done with Augustus Gloop (or Pottle). It reminds me of the Wasp In A Wig chapter from Alice in Wonderland -- not a bad read in itself, but compare it to what was published and you can see why it was cut.

/recently found my mother's childhood copy of Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, in which the Oompa-Loompas came from Africa instead of Loompaland. A little startling, especially the illustrations -- just as well Dahl edited that part as well.

I had no idea his estate had made changes for sensitive folk, though it isn't surprising, I wonder if many of his short stories have similarly been made more palatable for the easily offended. I've got everything he ever published, all either first or second editions. Dude had a crazy, very unfortunate life.


The scene in Boy where he describe having his adenoids taken out sticks with me to this day.
 
2014-08-31 02:22:39 PM  

nimawai: Bathysphere: nimawai: Bathysphere: CSB: I did a community theater production of "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory". I helped build the set and was the biggest damn oompa-loompah in the bunch. After the final performance, a little kid ran up to me and gave me a sweaty pink jelly bean she had been keeping in her hand. She told me I was her favorite oompah-loompah. The feels....

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww That is just too precious.

So what did you do with the jelly bean?

I definitely did not eat it, that's for sure.

Well I would hope not. lol


Did you, perhaps, insert it into your urethra?
 
2014-08-31 05:24:14 PM  

Optimal_Illusion: Big Mountain Fudgecake?
[i.ytimg.com image 480x360]


Sexual Chocolate

static.squarespace.com
 
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