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(National Review)   Everyone's favorite troll, movie critric Armond White, takes down 20 popular films in an essay about film culture broken by rampant liberalism   ( nationalreview.com) divider line
    More: Stupid  
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3526 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 29 Aug 2014 at 2:36 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



95 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2014-08-29 11:27:19 AM  
It must suck having to go through life viewing everything through some political prism.  Lighten up dude, sheesh.

Seems appropriate:

i.imgur.com
 
2014-08-29 11:36:59 AM  

WalkingCarpet: It must suck having to go through life viewing everything through some political prism.  Lighten up dude, sheesh.


You don't understand!  It's so HARD being smarter than everyone else.  It's such a burden....
 
2014-08-29 11:36:59 AM  
lh6.googleusercontent.com
 
2014-08-29 11:42:10 AM  

Chariset: WalkingCarpet: It must suck having to go through life viewing everything through some political prism.  Lighten up dude, sheesh.

You don't understand!  It's so HARD being smarter than everyone else.  It's such a burden....


lh6.googleusercontent.com

Of course, these folks don't have that particular burden, but stoopid can certainly be just as taxing...
 
2014-08-29 11:43:45 AM  
"Here's 20 films that I don't like", and that's literally the whole damned article.

So of course he's now working for NRO.
 
2014-08-29 11:45:51 AM  
WTF is he babbling about?
 
2014-08-29 11:50:47 AM  
Yeah...when someone tries to pretend that the "Ocean's" movies are anything more than just caper flicks/A-list star vehicles, I get the distinctly uncomfortable feeling that I'm watching someone masturbating in front of me.
 
2014-08-29 11:54:10 AM  
5) Wall-E (2008) - Nihilism made cute for children of all ages who know nothing about cultural history or how to sustain it.


That doesn't make any sense at all. None whatsoever.
 
2014-08-29 12:06:35 PM  
The Dark Knight (2008) used the Batman myth to undermine heroism, overturn social mores, and embrace anarchy.

Um...you know there was another one after that, right?  Like, that's not the end of the story.

And you got some balls disparaging Batman's good name.

i595.photobucket.com
 
2014-08-29 12:17:26 PM  
Good lord that was whiny.
 
2014-08-29 12:34:53 PM  
I always thought this guy was trolling for trolling's sake.  Turns out he really is just an asshole.
 
2014-08-29 12:35:37 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-08-29 12:39:13 PM  

unyon: I always thought this guy was trolling for trolling's sake.  Turns out he really is just an asshole.


It's usually the simplest answer.
 
2014-08-29 02:12:55 PM  
This is the guy who thinks The Godfather insists on itself, right?
 
2014-08-29 02:46:11 PM  
Speaking of living on the planet of the pudding brains.....
 
2014-08-29 02:49:39 PM  
From his wiki page

after his positive review of the film Jack and Jill...

That's all I need to know about him.
 
2014-08-29 02:54:16 PM  
Sometimes, it's quite illuminating to know how the other half of the nation thinks.
 
2014-08-29 02:55:58 PM  

unyon: I always thought this guy was trolling for trolling's sake.  Turns out he really is just an asshole.


Nobody puts Armand in a corner! He can EASILY be both!
 
2014-08-29 02:56:58 PM  
Maybe he would have interesting points about those movies, but instead he gives one odd, pithy sentence per film which doesn't really explain anything and just raises more questions. Mr. and Mrs. Smith? What?
 
2014-08-29 03:01:55 PM  
I thought Wall-E was more about stalker/date rape gone horrible right than anything else. It's a very very VERY creepy movie if you made it about say a teen age crush on a girl next door.
 
2014-08-29 03:03:53 PM  

5) Wall-E (2008) - Nihilism made cute for children of all ages who know nothing about cultural history or how to sustain it.

www.reactionface.info

 
2014-08-29 03:04:30 PM  
NRO and Armond White?

www.thenerdpocalypse.com
 
2014-08-29 03:07:15 PM  
Well he does take the approach that film itself is a culture. So he's the nerd nerds beat up.
 
2014-08-29 03:08:21 PM  
Here's a one-liner for you Mr. White:

You like to play the Devil's Advocate so much, that I bet you liked Keanu in it too.
 
2014-08-29 03:08:48 PM  
Is it wrong that I agree with his assessment of The Social Network?
 
2014-08-29 03:12:29 PM  

WalkingCarpet: It must suck having to go through life viewing everything through some political prism.


So, FARK?
 
2014-08-29 03:14:44 PM  
There are so many little treasure boxes of crazy here that I'm just dying to open. I think my favorite, though is that he picked Knocked Up, of all movies, as the one to use as the "Movies weren't like that in my day!" example.
 
2014-08-29 03:14:48 PM  
He's the biggest LOG in Log Cabin Republicans
 
2014-08-29 03:16:20 PM  
Ooh this one is fun too:

13) Slumdog Millionaire (2008) - an Oscar-winning tale of game-show greed as an answer to systemic poverty.

Whereas your solution to systemic poverty, presumably, is "Get a job loser".
 
2014-08-29 03:16:25 PM  

Secret Agent X23: I get the distinctly uncomfortable feeling that I'm watching someone masturbating in front of me.


then stop turning around...I'll let you know when I am done.
 
2014-08-29 03:16:33 PM  

Foxxinnia: Maybe he would have interesting points about those movies, but instead he gives one odd, pithy sentence per film which doesn't really explain anything and just raises more questions. Mr. and Mrs. Smith? What?


To be fair, one sentence is usually the limit before a "libslibslibs" type becomes incomprehensible. Maybe his short-windedness was for the best.

/there has to be several Farkers in TFA comments, beautiful
 
2014-08-29 03:18:25 PM  
This read like a rejected Onion/ClickHole article/list.
 
2014-08-29 03:22:24 PM  
I have no idea why, but I imagine the writer of that thing is the guy who pokes himself in the brain with a q-tip on the commercial.

Maybe because he seems about as cognizant of his surroundings, I don't know.

/maybe he'll poke his own eyes out putting his contacts in
 
2014-08-29 03:24:10 PM  

Blues_X: 5) Wall-E (2008) - Nihilism made cute for children of all ages who know nothing about cultural history or how to sustain it.
That doesn't make any sense at all. None whatsoever.


At least he's consistent.
 
2014-08-29 03:29:31 PM  
crayfisher.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-08-29 03:31:00 PM  
I wish White would have busted out a 300-word mini-essay to accompany each film in order to maximize the bizarro madness and seem like he actually has a point
 
2014-08-29 03:37:13 PM  
Is it good or bad if a bad person dislikes something you also dislike but for the wrong reason?

Frost/Nixon was unadulterated historical trash and any list denigrating bad movies ought to have that one at or near the top - even if the list was written by a schizophrenic moron troll.
 
2014-08-29 03:46:43 PM  

Secret Agent X23: Yeah...when someone tries to pretend that the "Ocean's" movies are anything more than just caper flicks/A-list star vehicles, I get the distinctly uncomfortable feeling that I'm watching someone masturbating in front of me.


How about pretending that the Rat Pack was anything other than a drunken, racist boozefest and cult of Sinatra? I mean seriously, he acts like the first Oceans film was high art, what a douche.
 
2014-08-29 03:56:50 PM  

deadsanta: Secret Agent X23: Yeah...when someone tries to pretend that the "Ocean's" movies are anything more than just caper flicks/A-list star vehicles, I get the distinctly uncomfortable feeling that I'm watching someone masturbating in front of me.

How about pretending that the Rat Pack was anything other than a drunken, racist boozefest and cult of Sinatra? I mean seriously, he acts like the first Oceans film was high art, what a douche.


Frank, Dean, Joey, Peter, et al. certainly were arrogant, drunken, sexist jerks, but they weren't racist.
 
2014-08-29 04:12:28 PM  
That wasn't a take down, that was a barely coherent ramble that lost a struggle to connect the movies on the list to whatever point he was attempting to make.
 
2014-08-29 04:15:13 PM  
Asking me about who my favorite troll is, is like asking me what my favorite bout of explosive diarrhea was like.
 
2014-08-29 04:22:31 PM  
This sounds like it'd be f*cking hilarious to read, but I ain't givin' NRO no clicks so I'll just giggle at the implied stupid and carry on with life.
 
2014-08-29 04:25:36 PM  

SirDigbyChickenCaesar: Secret Agent X23: I get the distinctly uncomfortable feeling that I'm watching someone masturbating in front of me.

then stop turning around...I'll let you know when I am done.


C'mon buddy, it's been over an hour already. Are you sure you're doing it right?
 
2014-08-29 04:31:57 PM  

Five Tails of Fury: This sounds like it'd be f*cking hilarious to read, but I ain't givin' NRO no clicks so I'll just giggle at the implied stupid and carry on with life.



1)  Good Night and Good Luck (2005) - George Clooney, president of the corrupt canon, directed and acted in a dishonest fantasy biopic of TV-news icon Edward R. Murrow to revive blacklist lore as part of a liberal agenda.

2)  The Dark Knight (2008) used the Batman myth to undermine heroism, overturn social mores, and embrace anarchy.

3)  Ocean's Twelve (2004) - Steven Soderbergh salutes land of the greedy and home of the depraved in a reboot franchise sequel, scoffing at the post-War conviction of Sinatra's Rat Pack original.

4)  12 Years a Slave(2013) distorted the history of slavery while encouraging and continuing Hollywood's malign neglect of slavery's contemporary impact.

5)  Wall-E(2008) - Nihilism made cute for children of all ages who know nothing about cultural history or how to sustain it.

6)  Manderlay (2005) - Lars Von Trier's  Dogville sequel sold American self-hatred back to us, and critics fawned.

7)  United 93(2006) reduced the pain and tragedy of 9/11 to the inanity of a disaster movie.

8)  Frost/Nixon (2008) - Political vengeance disguised as a dual biopic that prized showbiz egotism over conflicted public service.

9)  Knocked Up (2007) - Judd Apatow's comedy of bad manners attacked maturity and propriety.

10)  The Social Network (2010) - David Fincher's new Horatio Alger tale glorified technocrat Mark Zuckerberg with chic, digital-era arrogance.

11) Precious (2009) coincided with Obama's first year in office to revive racial condescension with the audacity of nope.

12) The Hangover(2009) infantilized privileged adulthood, a celebration of chaos and irresponsibility.

13)  Slumdog Millionaire(2008) - an Oscar-winning tale of game-show greed as an answer to systemic poverty.

14)  A History of Violence(2005) - David Cronenberg's new take on Ugly Americans blamed patriotic sadism.

15) Inglourious Basterds(2009) - Quentin Tarantino's answer to Abu Ghraib, a cruel, jokey, ahistorical revision of WWII.

16) The Bourne Ultimatum (2007) - Ass-kicking espionage disparaged American foreign policy while making money off it.

17)  Mr. and Mrs. Smith(2005) -Sarcastic violence is the new marriage equality, says Brangelina, Hollywood's POTUS and FLOTUS.

18)  Che(2008) - Steven Soderbergh gives Hipster Hollywood its own four-hour rebuttal to Oliver Stone's  JFK.

19)  There Will Be Blood (2007) - Paul Thomas Anderson's pseudo-epic of the American soul cooked up an anti-Christian, weirdly misogynist history lesson.

20)  Lincoln(2012) - Spielberg succumbs to Tony Kushner's limousine-liberal cynicism valorize Obama-era political chicanery.
 
2014-08-29 04:33:05 PM  
"I am forced to conclude that White is, as charged, a troll. A smart and knowing one, but a troll."

http://www.rogerebert.com/rogers-journal/not-in-defense-of-armond-wh it e
 
2014-08-29 04:44:56 PM  
The Dark Knight (2008) used the Batman myth to undermine heroism, overturn social mores, and embrace anarchy.

WTF is he talking about?
 
2014-08-29 04:47:08 PM  
Well damnit, he didn't weigh in on the new Expendables movie. How ever will I know if I should go see it or not?
 
2014-08-29 04:53:34 PM  
FTA: 12) The Hangover(2009) infantilized privileged adulthood, a celebration of chaos and irresponsibility.

And lots of boobs.  Don't forget the boobs.
 
2014-08-29 04:56:03 PM  
From the article: "4) 12 Years a Slave (2013) distorted the history of slavery while encouraging and continuing Hollywood's malign neglect of slavery's contemporary impact."

To the first point: How, exactly? It's based on a memoir. Presumably Samuel Northrop's experience was not 100% representative of average slave conditions, but that's not really the point.

To the second point: I agree that Hollywood often ignores contemporary issues in black America (mostly because Hollywood is full of white people) but it's a film set in a specific historical period. What did White want them to do? Flash forward 200 years and show Northrop's descendants get denied access to jobs, social services, etc?
 
2014-08-29 05:00:07 PM  
4) 12 Years a Slave(2013) distorted the history of slavery while encouraging and continuing Hollywood's malign neglect of slavery's contemporary impact.

20) Lincoln(2012) - Spielberg succumbs to Tony Kushner's limousine-liberal cynicism valorize Obama-era political chicanery.


Does this guy even English?

Also, he's upset Inglorious Basterds wasn't historically accurate?

God this guy just gets worse and worse. How did NRO ever let him write for them? Have they never seen a picture of him?
 
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