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(Uproxx)   Subby has never seen "The Notebook," but I'm sure as hell that it wouldn't inspire me to have sex with my half sister after watching it. In a parking lot. For the third time   (uproxx.com) divider line 176
    More: Sick, Cersei, semi-trailer trucks, Game of Thrones  
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11888 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Aug 2014 at 6:45 AM (21 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



176 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-08-28 11:40:31 PM  
If you can't keep it in your pants, at least keep it in the family.
 
2014-08-28 11:42:22 PM  
How did the police even know they were siblings? Oh Georgia.
 
2014-08-28 11:43:01 PM  
That's messed up.

Who watches the Notebook?
 
2014-08-28 11:45:26 PM  
Don't jump to conclusions subby.
 
2014-08-28 11:49:41 PM  
i.qkme.me
 
2014-08-28 11:51:00 PM  
The Lannisters send their regards.
 
2014-08-28 11:58:17 PM  
The next family reunion is going to be really awkward...or gross...
 
2014-08-29 12:03:38 AM  
Wait.. the girl is named Christopher?
 
2014-08-29 12:10:54 AM  
More proof that Nicholas Sparks should be banned from writing any more books.
 
2014-08-29 12:20:17 AM  

farkingismybusiness: Wait.. the girl is named Christopher?


Kind of clues you in on how messed up the family was before all this.
 
2014-08-29 12:52:09 AM  
CSB at least one time over:

I double-majored in college. In order to graduate on time I took a semester of summer classes on-campus. There was a rather unattractive girl (nice girl, just...no (built like a barrel but hardly any tits*)) who tried to talk me into seeing "The Notebook" while it was in theaters.

I was already dating approximately 1.7 girls at the time, round up to 2, depending on how you splice ZIP codes, and she really wasn't worth adding to the mess.

/* weird but CSB: she kept talking about her boyfriend who apparently had been on the shortlist for the 2004 Olympic rowing team but had been cut, and wasn't talking to her, and woe was she, and wouldn't I love to go see this movie? Um, no.
 
2014-08-29 01:26:16 AM  

Ambivalence: farkingismybusiness: Wait.. the girl is named Christopher?

Kind of clues you in on how messed up the family was before all this.


I had a girlfriend named Christopher once. I still remember her quite fondly.
 
2014-08-29 02:05:31 AM  
That's the funny thing about being adopted into a family and not knowing your bio family.  The only "safe" people are your family. Maybe.
 
2014-08-29 02:37:37 AM  
Subby, after sitting through that film three times in a parking lot, there are probably a lot of things I would do to avoid watching it a fourth time.

Farking my sister isn't on MY list, but I'm not gonna judge on that one.
 
2014-08-29 02:43:08 AM  
Perhaps the bigger question, subby, is whether or not it would inspire any of us to have sex with your half-sister after watching it. In a parking lot. For the third time. 

Also, why are we watching it in a parking lot?
 
2014-08-29 04:43:07 AM  
If she's only his half-sister, is it relevant which half of her he did?
 
2014-08-29 06:30:45 AM  
FTFA:

Both have been charged with incest, aggravated sodomy, and prowling.

Since they're brother and sister, now I definitely see them in the backseat with him poking at her anus with his dick, saying "I'm not farking you, I'm not farking you, I'm not farking you".
 
2014-08-29 06:50:11 AM  
Siblings banging in a semi truck in the parking lot of a Baptist church in Georgia?

Do stories get any more redneck than this?
 
2014-08-29 06:51:22 AM  
incest, aggravated sodomy, and prowling

In fairness, I don't care about two of those as a member of the public, isolated incidents of inbreeding actually don't do much to the overall gene pool even if they are dumb enough to fail at protection.  So... first two are their business, I guess.

Assuming 'prowling' means the public sex part, though, that's a lot of "enjoy your jail time, since you were clearly trying to get arrested".  While  technically it doesn't hurt anyone else directly it's not exactly an unreasonable request that you find somewhere private to fark in accordance with fairly universal modern custom.
 
2014-08-29 06:53:42 AM  
Funny, she doesn't look like Magenta.

But he could pass for Riff Raff.
 
2014-08-29 06:54:08 AM  
Aggravated sodomy is the best kind of sodomy.
 
2014-08-29 07:09:22 AM  

SmackLT: Siblings banging in a semi truck in the parking lot of a Baptist church in Georgia?

Do stories get any more redneck than this?


Mama and the Hound Dog are watching from a prison train?
 
2014-08-29 07:09:28 AM  

propasaurus: Ambivalence: farkingismybusiness: Wait.. the girl is named Christopher?


You know how I know you didn't read the article?
 
2014-08-29 07:09:36 AM  

SilentStrider: The Lannisters send their regards.


Unfortunately, TFA scooped you on that one with the smarmiest write-up ever.
 
2014-08-29 07:09:44 AM  

SmackLT: Siblings banging in a semi truck in the parking lot of a Baptist church in Georgia?

Do stories get any more redneck than this?


When does the country music song come out?
 
2014-08-29 07:12:55 AM  
When you reduce a family tree to a family bush, you just can't hide as much beneath it.
 
2014-08-29 07:14:14 AM  

Sid_6.7: CSB at least one time over:

I double-majored in college. In order to graduate on time I took a semester of summer classes on-campus. There was a rather unattractive girl (nice girl, just...no (built like a barrel but hardly any tits*)) who tried to talk me into seeing "The Notebook" while it was in theaters.

I was already dating approximately 1.7 girls at the time, round up to 2, depending on how you splice ZIP codes, and she really wasn't worth adding to the mess.

/* weird but CSB: she kept talking about her boyfriend who apparently had been on the shortlist for the 2004 Olympic rowing team but had been cut, and wasn't talking to her, and woe was she, and wouldn't I love to go see this movie? Um, no.


Respectfully, i hope one of those majors wasn't creative writing...or math
 
2014-08-29 07:19:59 AM  
Subby has never seen "The Notebook", but I'm sure as hell that it wouldn't inspire me to have sex with my half sister after watching it. In a parking lot. For the third time

Why? Is your half sister unattractive?  Or is it the location that is the problem?
 
2014-08-29 07:20:54 AM  

UNC_Samurai: When you reduce a family tree to a family bush, you just can't hide as much beneath it.


I think he hid in the family bush quite well.
 
2014-08-29 07:25:04 AM  

doglover: If you can't keep it in your pants, at least keep it in the family.


If you can't got across the street, go across the hall!
 
2014-08-29 07:29:02 AM  
At first I was like...

s7.pikabu.ru

but then *clicks article link*:

t.qkme.me
 
2014-08-29 07:33:02 AM  
Farking siblings in a church parking lot. Is that kosher?
 
2014-08-29 07:33:58 AM  

hasty ambush: Subby has never seen "The Notebook", but I'm sure as hell that it wouldn't inspire me to have sex with my half sister after watching it. In a parking lot. For the third time

Why? Is your half sister unattractive?  Or is it the location that is the problem?


-- I thought he meant twice was enough,
 
2014-08-29 07:36:30 AM  
How are police still allowed to charge people with sodomy after Lawrence v. Texas?? I don't care how aggravating the blow job was, it shouldn't be a crime!
 
2014-08-29 07:38:31 AM  

hasty ambush: Subby has never seen "The Notebook", but I'm sure as hell that it wouldn't inspire me to have sex with my half sister after watching it. In a parking lot. For the third time

Why? Is your half sister unattractive?  Or is it the location that is the problem?


He just can't go three times.
 
2014-08-29 07:39:08 AM  

RobSeace: How are police still allowed to charge people with sodomy after Lawrence v. Texas?? I don't care how aggravating the blow job was, it shouldn't be a crime!


But she had braces, and was a scraper!
 
2014-08-29 07:46:37 AM  
Forbidden vagina has a certain allure that meth can really enhance.
 
2014-08-29 07:46:49 AM  
Why is sex between consenting adults a problem?

/dnrtfa
 
2014-08-29 07:48:13 AM  
TFA: Both have been charged with incest, aggravated sodomy, and prowling

Here is the relevant Georgian law:

16-6-2. Sodomy; aggravated sodomy.
(a) A person commits the offense of sodomy when he performs or submits to any sexual act involving the sex organs of one person and the mouth or anus of another. A person commits the offense of aggravated sodomy when he commits sodomy with force and against the will of the other person.

So he was probably getting oral. But why aggravated ff they were both charged? They can't both be forcing the other.
 
2014-08-29 07:48:53 AM  
i199.photobucket.com
 
2014-08-29 07:49:12 AM  
Having been forced to watch The Notebook, I think I'd rather watch through the truck window while these two sea beasts paw at each other.  I'll bet the stains and smells render that truck unsellable...
 
2014-08-29 07:54:47 AM  

RobSeace: How are police still allowed to charge people with sodomy after Lawrence v. Texas?? I don't care how aggravating the blow job was, it shouldn't be a crime!


What's the definition of a good friend?

Well, a good friend will go out, get two blowjobs, come back and give you one.

And that shouldn't be a crime.
 
2014-08-29 07:57:47 AM  
At least he got laid.
 
2014-08-29 07:59:40 AM  

propasaurus: Ambivalence: farkingismybusiness: Wait.. the girl is named Christopher?

Kind of clues you in on how messed up the family was before all this.

I had a girlfriend named Christopher once. I still remember her quite fondly.


Visual assistance for another Christopher:

images.tvrage.com
 
2014-08-29 08:01:32 AM  
I bet the parents are so proud.
 
2014-08-29 08:03:27 AM  

Land_of_the_Magic_Dragon: I bet the parents are so proud.


Uncle Dad must be beaming.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-08-29 08:06:34 AM  
My half sister is hotter.
 
2014-08-29 08:09:03 AM  

ZAZ: My half sister is hotter.


Pictures please
 
2014-08-29 08:11:33 AM  
Doesn't matter had sex.
 
2014-08-29 08:14:52 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: Land_of_the_Magic_Dragon: I bet the parents are so proud.

Uncle Dad must be beaming.


The only way he would happier if was filmed for Cops.
 
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