Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(TMZ)   Good news for those who like famous hot mess train wrecks, Britney Spears is back on the market   ( tmz.com) divider line
    More: Spiffy  
•       •       •

4354 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 28 Aug 2014 at 10:15 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



68 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2014-08-28 09:11:55 PM  
The gamey, second-hand, bruised, marbley, and fly swarmed meat market.
 
2014-08-28 09:29:27 PM  
She's on her meds? No problem.
 
2014-08-28 09:43:53 PM  
I bet she's a friggin' tiger in the sack.
 
2014-08-28 09:53:39 PM  
NOTE: Post has been modified according to new FARK rules.

I would take her out for a lovely steak dinner, a walk on the beach, and respectfully walk her to her door at the end of the evening.
 
2014-08-28 09:59:48 PM  
[REDACTED]
 
2014-08-28 10:17:52 PM  
Cool. I dig women who shave. wait. what?

metrouk2.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-08-28 10:17:55 PM  
Penis.
 
2014-08-28 10:20:15 PM  
She's got a show in Vegas, and hasn't had any "incidents" in quite a few years. "Former Trainwreck" is more like it.
 
2014-08-28 10:20:19 PM  
I've been with crazy, I have no doubt I will be again, but she's a little too much.
 
2014-08-28 10:22:24 PM  
Before this thread goes any further, is the phrase "you better work biatch" allowed under the new Farq Rules?
 
2014-08-28 10:24:40 PM  

LesserEvil: She's got a show in Vegas, and hasn't had any "incidents" in quite a few years. "Former Trainwreck" is more like it.


Yeah, the Britney Spears "trainwreck" label seems to be for people with no imagination, they just have to slap some kind of label on it. After the shaved head breakdown, I don't think she's made anything but 'good' headlines(Relatively speaking, of course). Hell, even in this situation, apparently it's her boyfriend.

DNRTFA, as I noticed it was on farking TMZ. Unfortunately, they still got my click, as I didn't notice that that piece of shiat website was the link before I clicked.
 
2014-08-28 10:26:42 PM  
ssl-cdn-media.tmz.com

She signed a $30 million dollar deal with Ceaser's Palace, but still kicking the mid drift at Target .  Louisianna Trailer Trash 4 Lifez
 
2014-08-28 10:30:03 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-08-28 10:30:35 PM  

djkutch: I bet she's a friggin' tiger in the sack.


Not on mental health meds, she's not.  She's probably sort of listless on a good day, and borderline zombified on a bad one.  They probably pump her full of stimulants on show days.

Now, off the meds, sure, she's probably a handful.  But there's no guarantee you'll get to keep your penis at the end.
 
2014-08-28 10:32:56 PM  
Many of us have stuck our dick in the crazy in the past, and have learned the lesson.

That there is WAAAAY too much crazy.
 
2014-08-28 10:42:10 PM  
Mikey1969:

DNRTFA, as I noticed it was on farking TMZ. Unfortunately, they still got my click, as I didn't notice that that piece of shiat website was the link before I clicked.

So you clicked the link without noticing the tag then you got to the site and were so disgusted with yourself that you had clicked a TMZ link that you couldn't bring yourself to read the page you had already clicked on, then you needed to come in here and tell us all how you are too good to read a page that you feel is below you?
You still clicked a Brittany spears link, get over yourself!
 
2014-08-28 10:43:38 PM  

InmanRoshi: [ssl-cdn-media.tmz.com image 700x452]

She signed a $30 million dollar deal with Ceaser's Palace, but still kicking the mid drift at Target .  Louisianna Trailer Trash 4 Lifez


Bullshiat. Everyone knows Trailer Trash can't afford Target.
 
2014-08-28 10:46:32 PM  

InmanRoshi: [ssl-cdn-media.tmz.com image 700x452]
She signed a $30 million dollar deal with Ceaser's Palace, but still kicking the mid drift at Target .  Louisianna Trailer Trash 4 Lifez


Midriff. Is that what you mean? I think so, but I'm high.
 
2014-08-28 10:48:11 PM  
Whothehellcares.jpg
 
2014-08-28 10:50:28 PM  

xaks: Many of us have stuck our dick in the crazy in the past, and have learned the lesson.

That there is WAAAAY too much crazy.


But it's like Chappelle s bit about Monica Lewinsky.   Every woman has a blowjob she regrets, at least her's was the most powerful man in the world.

I've had crazy, but it wasn't "Signed a $30 million dollar deal at Ceasar's Palace" crazy.   It was more like obnoxious drunk chick at the co-ed dorm crazy.
 
2014-08-28 10:51:16 PM  

Cymbal: InmanRoshi: [ssl-cdn-media.tmz.com image 700x452]

She signed a $30 million dollar deal with Ceaser's Palace, but still kicking the mid drift at Target .  Louisianna Trailer Trash 4 Lifez

Bullshiat. Everyone knows Trailer Trash can't afford Target.


Trailer trash or not, I'm pretty sure that queefer has echoes at this point, if you catch my meaning. Not worth that much crazy, regardless.
 
2014-08-28 10:53:27 PM  

LesserEvil: She's got a show in Vegas, and hasn't had any "incidents" in quite a few years. "Former Trainwreck" is more like it.


Yeah, it's great the way humans are just able to flip a switch and not be crazy or unstable anymore.
 
2014-08-28 10:58:17 PM  

chitownmike: Mikey1969:

DNRTFA, as I noticed it was on farking TMZ. Unfortunately, they still got my click, as I didn't notice that that piece of shiat website was the link before I clicked.

So you clicked the link without noticing the tag then you got to the site and were so disgusted with yourself that you had clicked a TMZ link that you couldn't bring yourself to read the page you had already clicked on, then you needed to come in here and tell us all how you are too good to read a page that you feel is below you?
You still clicked a Brittany spears link, get over yourself!


It's still a story to comment on. And actually, I came here to make the point that the poster made who I was responding to.

Namely, that this "trainwreck" label is farking stupid from someone who seems to have repaired a lot of those wrecked trains.

My issue was with TMZ and it's shiatty tabloid style garbage "reporting", NOT the fact that it was a Britney Spears story. Of course, since you seem to be special needs, you didn't notice that. I'm proud of you for getting onto the internet, your teachers must be SO excited.
 
2014-08-28 10:59:59 PM  
I got a sad when i saw that guy reppin the hokies. At least he does it consistently.

/ tech tech vpi
 
2014-08-28 11:03:57 PM  

Cymbal: InmanRoshi: [ssl-cdn-media.tmz.com image 700x452]

She signed a $30 million dollar deal with Ceaser's Palace, but still kicking the mid drift at Target .  Louisianna Trailer Trash 4 Lifez

Bullshiat. Everyone knows Trailer Trash can't afford Target.


Trailer trash love Target.  Its not for everyday items, it's for furniture and formal wear.
 
2014-08-28 11:13:05 PM  
i291.photobucket.com

i291.photobucket.com

i291.photobucket.com

I need to be reported....

/repeatedly
//fap
///zzzzzzzzzzzzz
 
2014-08-28 11:13:30 PM  

Uzzah: Not on mental health meds, she's not. She's probably sort of listless on a good day, and borderline zombified on a bad one


Not seeing a downside there...
 
2014-08-28 11:20:46 PM  

Thanks for the Meme-ries: [i291.photobucket.com image 482x800]

[i291.photobucket.com image 646x800]

[i291.photobucket.com image 551x800]

I need to be reported....

/repeatedly
//fap
///zzzzzzzzzzzzz


img2.wikia.nocookie.net

/appropriate for the day
 
2014-08-28 11:31:59 PM  

Thanks for the Meme-ries: [i291.photobucket.com image 482x800]

[i291.photobucket.com image 646x800]

[i291.photobucket.com image 551x800]

I need to be reported....

/repeatedly
//fap
///zzzzzzzzzzzzz


Sharp knees

Would not hit

Gym appointment in 29 minutes, etc., etc...
 
2014-08-28 11:38:35 PM  

Mikey1969: My issue was with TMZ and it's shiatty tabloid style garbage "reporting", NOT the fact that it was a Britney Spears story


Umm, It's TMZ.  I don't know what that stands for, but they are a tabloid devoted to celebrities aren't they?

What the hell do you expect?  An in depth analysis of her breakup?

I didn't even click on the article, not because it was TMZ but because the headline told me everything I needed to know.

I just clicked on the Fark thread to read snarky comments about her and maybe see a few pictures.  (Thanks, Thanks for the meme-eries).

/Wah - the journalistic integrity of TMZ is not up to Pulitzer standards!
 
2014-08-28 11:48:30 PM  

gfid: Mikey1969: My issue was with TMZ and it's shiatty tabloid style garbage "reporting", NOT the fact that it was a Britney Spears story

Umm, It's TMZ.  I don't know what that stands for, but they are a tabloid devoted to celebrities aren't they?

What the hell do you expect?  An in depth analysis of her breakup?

I didn't even click on the article, not because it was TMZ but because the headline told me everything I needed to know.

I just clicked on the Fark thread to read snarky comments about her and maybe see a few pictures.  (Thanks, Thanks for the meme-eries).

/Wah - the journalistic integrity of TMZ is not up to Pulitzer standards!


A: You have to have more than the headline to know who farked up here, which STILL goes with my original point. Something about her boyfriend farking around. So the headline really doesn't tell you anything.

B: I came to the thread for the reasons you mentioned, except that I am at least a little bit curious about the stories I'm posting about. If I didn't care about facts, I'd probably hang out somewhere like TMZ. While Fark is fun to putz around on, I tend to like the farkers who know their heads from a hole in the ground.

C: TMZ isn't even toilet paper level journalism. I'm sorry I seem to have hurt your feelings by insulting this noble journalistic institution, but if you don't set some standards, you're going to have trouble getting out of your mom's basement and into a place of your very own.
 
2014-08-28 11:50:38 PM  
I am reminded of a time way way back, like 2000. I was in line to sell some CDs. A boy, 16-or-so, in front of me had two Britney Spears CDs to sell. We were standing there for several minutes and finally the shame grew so great that he turned to me and said "these aren't mine."
 
2014-08-28 11:57:46 PM  
resources3.news.com.au
 
2014-08-28 11:58:32 PM  
Ya know, just for ha-has, I though to myself "When do you last look at that and think it was hot? 99? To the googles!"

So, I gis'd "Britney Spears 1999"

...
...

Holy shiat am I a dirty old man.
 
2014-08-29 12:04:06 AM  

stoli n coke: I've been with crazy, I have no doubt I will be again, but she's a little too much.


Not putting it in crazy doesn't apply to men only. My wife and I invited a 19 year old friend of her cousin's to join us for some bedroom fun. She wound up falling in love with my wife in a "Fatal Attraction" sort of way.

Ladies, be warned.
 
2014-08-29 12:06:10 AM  
I know, I know.  Show me a hot chick, and I'll show you someone who's sick of her shiat.  I know.

And yet...you'd think a "homely" lookin dude like him would be happy with what he's got, yes?
 
2014-08-29 12:14:50 AM  

Omahawg: Cool. I dig women who shave. wait. what?

[metrouk2.files.wordpress.com image 450x500]


Does the carpet...er, hardwood match the drapes?

/hard
//wood
 
2014-08-29 12:20:22 AM  

mcmnky: Omahawg: Cool. I dig women who shave. wait. what?

[metrouk2.files.wordpress.com image 450x500]

Does the carpet...er, hardwood match the drapes?

/hard
//wood


i291.photobucket.com
 
2014-08-29 12:22:33 AM  

Mikey1969: You have to have more than the headline to know who farked up here


Why should I care when it comes to celebrities?

The details are of no interest to me.  The fact that she broke up really doesn't interest me either.
 
2014-08-29 12:23:50 AM  

Uzzah: djkutch: I bet she's a friggin' tiger in the sack.

Not on mental health meds, she's not.  She's probably sort of listless on a good day, and borderline zombified on a bad one.  They probably pump her full of stimulants on show days.

Now, off the meds, sure, she's probably a handful.  But there's no guarantee you'll get to keep your penis at the end.


Not true for all meds.

I got along reeeeally well on Wellbutrin.
 
2014-08-29 12:31:44 AM  

gfid: Why should I care when it comes


img.fark.net
 
2014-08-29 12:35:22 AM  

fusillade762: [resources3.news.com.au image 650x366]


Apparently that guy is a gay porn star now.
 
2014-08-29 12:43:34 AM  

gfid: Mikey1969: You have to have more than the headline to know who farked up here

Why should I care when it comes to celebrities?

The details are of no interest to me.  The fact that she broke up really doesn't interest me either.


Well, it's a good thing you chimed in to tell us how little you care at all. There's a really good source for those pictures you want, and they are there all of the time, you don't have to wait for her to make the news like you do here. Since she's not in the news as much anymore, you might have to wait 6 months or more before she appears on Fark. Like I said though, you can use this One Weird Trick anytime....

1) In your browser, type www.google.com
2) In the search box type Britney Spears
3) Hit Enter
4) When the page loads, you will see some words along the top. One of these words is 'Images'. Click on that.
5) Enjoy pictures of Britney Spears without having to go back and forth about how you don't care why she's in the news, and don't feel like you need to explain yourself as you explain how much you don't actually care, thereby showing that you care enough to keep explaining how you don't care.

Yeah, that last part is pretty complicated. That's what happens when you care enough to argue about how little you care. Think of all of the time you're going to save now!

No need to thank me, I'm happy to provide the service.
 
2014-08-29 12:43:57 AM  

Thanks for the Meme-ries: [i291.photobucket.com image 482x800]

[i291.photobucket.com image 646x800]

[i291.photobucket.com image 551x800]

I need to be reported....

/repeatedly
//fap
///zzzzzzzzzzzzz


A nice view, but I'm not sure anyone is home.
 
2014-08-29 12:45:13 AM  

Savage Belief: stoli n coke: I've been with crazy, I have no doubt I will be again, but she's a little too much.

Not putting it in crazy doesn't apply to men only. My wife and I invited a 19 year old friend of her cousin's to join us for some bedroom fun. She wound up falling in love with my wife in a "Fatal Attraction" sort of way.

Ladies, be warned.


What did your wife stick into the 'crazy'?
 
2014-08-29 01:57:31 AM  
I think she probably smells mostly like dried cum.
 
2014-08-29 02:08:27 AM  

InmanRoshi: xaks: Many of us have stuck our dick in the crazy in the past, and have learned the lesson.

That there is WAAAAY too much crazy.

But it's like Chappelle s bit about Monica Lewinsky.   Every woman has a blowjob she regrets, at least her's was the most powerful man in the world.

I've had crazy, but it wasn't "Signed a $30 million dollar deal at Ceasar's Palace" crazy.   It was more like obnoxious drunk chick at the co-ed dorm crazy.


"Her's"?

"Ceasar's"?

Are you drunk, or just having a stroke?
 
2014-08-29 02:24:46 AM  

Savage Belief: stoli n coke: I've been with crazy, I have no doubt I will be again, but she's a little too much.

Not putting it in crazy doesn't apply to men only. My wife and I invited a 19 year old friend of her cousin's to join us for some bedroom fun. She wound up falling in love with my wife in a "Fatal Attraction" sort of way.

Ladies, be warned.


Try "a 19 year-old friend of her cousin," or "her cousin's 19 year-old friend," but not both simultaneously. Thanks.
 
2014-08-29 05:20:54 AM  

gfid: Mikey1969: My issue was with TMZ and it's shiatty tabloid style garbage "reporting", NOT the fact that it was a Britney Spears story


Umm, It's TMZ.  I don't know what that stands for, but they are a tabloid devoted to celebrities aren't they?

What the hell do you expect?  An in depth analysis of her breakup?

I didn't even click on the article, not because it was TMZ but because the headline told me everything I needed to know.

I just clicked on the Fark thread to read snarky comments about her and maybe see a few pictures.  (Thanks, Thanks for the meme-eries).

/Wah - the journalistic integrity of TMZ is not up to Pulitzer standards!


"Thirty Mile Zone".

/the more you know
 
2014-08-29 05:44:58 AM  
The girl I'm dating is hotter and is a chemical engineer.

The guy I'm dating is hotter and is a software engineer.

What should I care about this non-engineer creature that was famous fifteen years ago in a subculture not my own?
 
Displayed 50 of 68 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.

In Other Media
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report