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(Daily Express)   Hungry Hungry Hippos doesn't work out so well in real life   (express.co.uk ) divider line
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7832 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Aug 2014 at 2:57 PM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-08-28 11:12:00 AM  
If a tennis ball can kill you, you're probably too stupid to be alive anyway.

/Darwin applies equally to all animals
 
2014-08-28 11:20:47 AM  
We're Hungry Hungry Hippos, We're Hungry Hungry Hippos.
 
2014-08-28 11:56:20 AM  
He took what he was served.  Now that's love, ace.
 
2014-08-28 02:23:38 PM  
I expected a story more like this one.
 
2014-08-28 02:38:44 PM  
img686.imageshack.us
 
2014-08-28 03:01:33 PM  
That is not what he meant by "rug marbles", you dick.
 
2014-08-28 03:02:08 PM  
If only George Costanza had been there. He would have removed the blockage from the giant reptile's blowhole.

blogs.scientificamerican.com
 
2014-08-28 03:02:26 PM  
They should make a movie about 4 of his hippo buddies out for revenge
cdnf.imhonet.ru
 
2014-08-28 03:03:15 PM  

unyon: I expected a story more like this one.


That is pretty terrifying to read
 
2014-08-28 03:03:48 PM  
www.moviemuser.co.uk
 
2014-08-28 03:03:48 PM  
Hope they are able to track down the loser who did this and feed him to the lions.
 
2014-08-28 03:04:15 PM  

unyon: I expected a story more like this one.


Me, too.  Had this all ready to go.

www.quickmeme.com
 
2014-08-28 03:05:58 PM  
If the poor hippo was in agony and they knew it as they say they did, why the fark didn't they give it some giant sized painkillers? Morphine, biatches!
 
2014-08-28 03:06:05 PM  

nekom: If a tennis ball can kill you, you're probably too stupid to be alive anyway.

/Darwin applies equally to all animals
I don't understand natural selection beyond its misapplication as a generic meme

 
2014-08-28 03:09:24 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-08-28 03:10:26 PM  

nekom: If a tennis ball can kill you, you're probably too stupid to be alive anyway.

/Darwin applies equally to all animals


How's our evolutionary resistance to bullets coming along?
 
2014-08-28 03:10:29 PM  

patrick767: If the poor hippo was in agony and they knew it as they say they did, why the fark didn't they give it some giant sized painkillers? Morphine, biatches!


They didn't know.
 
2014-08-28 03:11:56 PM  

MythDragon: They should make a movie about 4 of his hippo buddies out for revenge
[cdnf.imhonet.ru image 400x300]


As long as it includes Sam Jackson yelling, "NO YOU DON'T GET IT, MR. PRESIDENT. THESE MUTHAFARKIN HIPPOS ARE HONGRY!," I'm in.

It might be the movie Michael Bay was born to make.
 
2014-08-28 03:15:28 PM  

hillary: I remember back in the 70s, some idiot killed a hippo at the Detroit Zoo with a tennis ball. Farking idiots don't deserve to have the arms to throw a ball.

nekom: If a tennis ball can kill you, you're probably too stupid to be alive anyway.

You are one of the prime reasons I gave up TotalFark. I see you are still a colossal jerk. Yeah, think I'll just keep my $5 in my pocket. Now go away, twerp.


Hillary, use the ignore button.  Poof! its gone.
 
2014-08-28 03:22:11 PM  

nekom: If a tennis ball can kill you, you're probably too stupid to be alive anyway.

/Darwin applies equally to all animals


This is one of the stupidest thing I've seen in a long time. Maybe you should reevaluate your worthiness to continue living.
 
2014-08-28 03:24:10 PM  
I actually am a teensy bit surprised that the digestive tract of something as enormous as a hippo can't accommodate a tennis ball, but I admittedly know nothing about hippo anatomy.
 
2014-08-28 03:24:43 PM  
It's not an autopsy when it's an animal, it's a necropsy. TFA got it wrong.
 
2014-08-28 03:25:01 PM  
Dead hippos aren't much fun

They don't come when you call
They don't chase squirrels at all
Dead hippos aren't much fun

My hippo died late last fall
He's still rotting in the hall
Dead hippos aren't much fun, no no no
Mom says hippo's days are through
She's going to throw him in the stew
Dead hippos aren't much fun
 
2014-08-28 03:26:29 PM  
Yeah, this seems strange to me.  I'd think hippos in the wild occasionally eat something non digestible and tennis ball sized.
 
2014-08-28 03:34:13 PM  

topcon: Yeah, this seems strange to me.  I'd think hippos in the wild occasionally eat something non digestible and tennis ball sized.


Sure.  Then they die from a blockage.  Just because something can happen "in the wild" doesn't mean it isn't potentially fatal.
 
2014-08-28 03:35:51 PM  
If they don't know who did it, how do they know it was an intentional cruel prank and not a stupid child?
 
2014-08-28 03:42:33 PM  
That is actually pretty sad and farked up. Odds are the twit with the tennis ball didn't intend that to happen, but for the hippo to die in agony just sucks.
 
2014-08-28 03:45:06 PM  
beingpeterpan.com
/Oblig
 
2014-08-28 03:54:14 PM  
God damn, I just wish someone would throw that ass-wipe into a Hippo enclosure and let him swim around for a while.
 
2014-08-28 04:10:30 PM  

China White Tea: I actually am a teensy bit surprised that the digestive tract of something as enormous as a hippo can't accommodate a tennis ball, but I admittedly know nothing about hippo anatomy.


This.  The ball-tosser is still an asshat, but might just be ignorant, rather than actively evil.

/sad story is sad
 
2014-08-28 04:12:42 PM  

perilsensitive: patrick767: If the poor hippo was in agony and they knew it as they say they did, why the fark didn't they give it some giant sized painkillers? Morphine, biatches!

They didn't know.


Yeah, it said they couldn't do an ultrasound or anything. They just knew he was out of sorts and then dropped dead -- they didn't figure out what had happened until the necropsy (thx Nestchick).
 
2014-08-28 04:16:48 PM  
I'd always been told Hippos where extremely aggressive and dangerous and would kill you the first chance they got without provocation.  The hippo is responsible for more human fatalities in Africa than any other large animal.

So on one hand it's sad that the hippo died this way, but on the other it's not like the hippo has any sympathy for us.

/respect is a two-way street.
 
2014-08-28 04:21:06 PM  

PunGent: China White Tea: I actually am a teensy bit surprised that the digestive tract of something as enormous as a hippo can't accommodate a tennis ball, but I admittedly know nothing about hippo anatomy.

This.  The ball-tosser is still an asshat, but might just be ignorant, rather than actively evil.

/sad story is sad



You said ball-tosser.
 
2014-08-28 04:29:51 PM  
hillary:
You are one of the prime reasons I gave up TotalFark. I see you are still a colossal jerk.

That's nice.  I don't remember you or why you dislike me nor do I care.  If an offhand remark about a hippo gets you that bent out of shape, you're the one with a problem.

Favorited: "Hates me for some reason"
 
2014-08-28 04:42:29 PM  

nekom: If a tennis ball can kill you, you're probably too stupid to be alive anyway.

/Darwin applies equally to all animals


Tennis ball trees are not native to the hippos natural habitat.
 
2014-08-28 04:53:50 PM  

nekom: If a tennis ball can kill you, you're probably too stupid to be alive anyway.


So you can swallow one? You must be very popular in certain circles.
 
2014-08-28 04:59:37 PM  

stoli n coke: MythDragon: They should make a movie about 4 of his hippo buddies out for revenge
[cdnf.imhonet.ru image 400x300]

As long as it includes Sam Jackson yelling, "NO YOU DON'T GET IT, MR. PRESIDENT. THESE MUTHAFARKIN HIPPOS ARE HONGRY!," I'm in.

It might be the movie Michael Bay was born to make.


Hongry. Lol
 
2014-08-28 05:16:09 PM  
Hip, hip-hop?
Hip hop anonymous?
 
2014-08-28 06:14:00 PM  
nekom: nhillary:  You are one of the prime reasons I gave up TotalFark. I see you are still a colossal jerk.

That's nice.  I don't remember you or why you dislike me nor do I care.  If an offhand remark about a hippo gets you that bent out of shape, you're the one with a problem.


Nah, she's right.  You're a jerk.
 
2014-08-28 06:18:34 PM  

helpdeskguy: nekom: nhillary:  You are one of the prime reasons I gave up TotalFark. I see you are still a colossal jerk.

That's nice.  I don't remember you or why you dislike me nor do I care.  If an offhand remark about a hippo gets you that bent out of shape, you're the one with a problem.

Nah, she's right.  You're a jerk.


Thirded.
 
2014-08-28 06:36:30 PM  
"Because the zoo was concerned for the health of the other hippos a full autopsy was ordered on Maikel at the Hessian State Pathology Laboratory - usually reserved for human victims of crime."

Which, thanks to the increase in American tourism, was properly equipped for the endeavor...
 
2014-08-28 07:38:51 PM  
Hmm, should held held on to the hippo line I used over in the Florida Crocodile thread.
 
2014-08-28 07:46:03 PM  
If I had just carried a tennis ball when I was in Africa, I'd have been safe to leave the safety of our vehicle!

/books next flight to Tanzania
//steals tennis ball from dog
 
2014-08-28 08:08:48 PM  
I don't like hippos very much, but I'd be perfectly happy to shove tennis balls down the throat of whomever did this.

/I support the death penalty for animal abusers
 
2014-08-28 08:41:52 PM  

nekom: If a tennis ball can kill you, you're probably too stupid to be alive anyway.

/Darwin applies equally to all animals


Interesting, someone killed a hippo at the Sacramento zoo this way when I was a kid. I remember it being a red rubber kickball though. Before that they used to let you toss fruit into their maws.
 
2014-08-28 08:43:17 PM  

MythDragon: They should make a movie about 4 of his hippo buddies out for revenge
[cdnf.imhonet.ru image 400x300]


What version is that? I've never seen that one before.
 
2014-08-28 08:45:56 PM  

patrick767: If the poor hippo was in agony and they knew it as they say they did, why the fark didn't they give it some giant sized painkillers? Morphine, biatches!


Given the bodyweight of a hippo, I have to wonder if there would even be enough painkillers in the whole city to be effective.
 
2014-08-28 08:48:49 PM  

Dragonflew: If they don't know who did it, how do they know it was an intentional cruel prank and not a stupid child?


WhyNotBoth.jpg
 
2014-08-28 09:16:58 PM  

HalfOffOffer: PunGent: China White Tea: I actually am a teensy bit surprised that the digestive tract of something as enormous as a hippo can't accommodate a tennis ball, but I admittedly know nothing about hippo anatomy.

This.  The ball-tosser is still an asshat, but might just be ignorant, rather than actively evil.

/sad story is sad


You said ball-tosser.


You have a dirty mind :)
 
2014-08-28 10:01:40 PM  

Medic Zero: MythDragon: They should make a movie about 4 of his hippo buddies out for revenge
[cdnf.imhonet.ru image 400x300]

What version is that? I've never seen that one before.


Robot chicken
 
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