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(BBC)   Couple, who have been married for 80 years, say the secret is to "forgive and forget." Though these days it is mostly "forget"   (bbc.co.uk) divider line 59
    More: Cool, Helen Kaye, maurice, wedding anniversary, World War Two  
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2403 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Aug 2014 at 11:09 PM (2 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-08-27 07:32:47 PM
What were we talking about?
 
2014-08-27 07:43:47 PM
We just celebrated our 20th anniversary. My secret? Being estranged for over 15 years.
 
2014-08-27 09:23:45 PM
My wife forgets nothing.

/she doesn't get all the details right, but she doesn't forget anything.
 
2014-08-27 10:14:03 PM
(1 Corinthians 13:4,5) Love is patient and kind....It does not keep account of the injury.
 
2014-08-27 11:28:16 PM
My wife and I have been together for almost 20 years. I hope that we live long lives, and that some day we are the two old farts featured by someone doing a blurb about our 80 year marriage.

When they ask us what the secret is I want to blurt out: "CHEAT."


/and I don't give a fark about your biatching about the link, that's a good bit of his
 
2014-08-27 11:34:55 PM

bigpeeler: (1 Corinthians 13:4,5) Love is patient and kind....It does not keep account of the injury.


If you collect the non-crazy parts of (nearly) every religion....pardon me quoting John Lennon..."imagine all the people living life in peace"

Jesus, Buddha, Zoroaster, Moses, etc. were probably good dudes.

/I excluded Mohhamed because he totes banged and 8(ish) year old named Aisha
//citation in the Hadith, you can look it up
///8 year olds dude
 
2014-08-27 11:35:15 PM
I think the real secret of being married for 80 years is to not die for a really long time, unless they got married when they were 12.

/my Dad had to give a speech at Rotary shortly after their anniversary, thanking her for 30 wonderful years of marriage
//they've been married 40
 
2014-08-27 11:37:14 PM
They're right.
 
2014-08-27 11:38:13 PM
Someone should tell my parents that. They argue to the point where it's like "why were you even married in the first place? Or even, why the heck are you even still together?" Makes me want to be gay or something

/of course they were arranged, so
 
2014-08-27 11:39:43 PM
Just ask Scottie Pippin, the greatest Chicago Bull of all time!
 
2014-08-27 11:41:43 PM
If you think that the keys to a successful relationship are "secrets", you are probably damaged goods anyways.  Peace out.
 
2014-08-27 11:43:12 PM
Wish that coulda been me.

/stupid farkin ex wife
//loyalty and faithfulness is apparently a farce nowadays.
 
2014-08-27 11:52:32 PM

bigpeeler: (1 Corinthians 13:4,5) Love is patient and kind....It does not keep account of the injury.


So 1900 years later it's still true. My wife and I have been together 30 years. Some of them (especially the early years) weren't so good, but the main thing is to not give up on each other and remember to love each other even when it's not easy to do. I can honestly say we're closer now and more deeply in love than when we were dating.
 
2014-08-27 11:54:24 PM
My wife and I have been married for six years now. The biggest thing that both of us realized is that no one is perfect, and if you can't forgive the person you love for not being perfect, you're never going to be happy.
 
2014-08-28 12:00:24 AM
We've been together 9.5 years and I actively avoid sex because it's a touch boring these days.

80 years? Ew.
 
2014-08-28 12:05:22 AM
Man; fix car, plumbing, etc. Don't be a grump. Occasional cooking & cleaning. Work hard, earn well. Light candles, and be thoughtful in the bedroom.
Woman; blowjobs
 
2014-08-28 12:08:52 AM

Ooba Tooba: Man; fix car, plumbing, etc. Don't be a grump. Occasional cooking & cleaning. Work hard, earn well. Light candles, and be thoughtful in the bedroom.
Woman; blowjobs


Lol winner!!
 
2014-08-28 12:30:09 AM
What's that in dog years?
 
2014-08-28 12:57:14 AM

inclemency: We've been together 9.5 years and I actively avoid sex because it's a touch boring these days.


Nothing that a tub of cottage cheese, 10W40 motor oil, and a leaf blower can't fix.
 
2014-08-28 12:59:25 AM

Bondith: I think the real secret of being married for 80 years is to not die for a really long time, unless they got married when they were 12.


Considering that they are 101 and 102, and still living independently, I think you might be on to something here.

on the other hand, FTFA: "Mr Kaye said the secret to a happy marriage was always agreeing with his wife." He may also be on to something...
 
2014-08-28 01:01:19 AM
Together fifteen, married six, and all I've figured out is don't give up, at least for no reason.
 
2014-08-28 01:08:12 AM
Hey whatever works for them. Hope my folks will be together that long.
 
2014-08-28 01:11:00 AM
Don't be an arshole/byotch.
Don't do things out of spite.
Give each other a bit of space.
Have some respect for each other.
A bit of empathy goes a long way...


/26 happy, fight-free years.
 
2014-08-28 01:14:19 AM
Also, before you commit, imagine both of you old, grey, and fat. If that's the person you still want to be with, you'll be successful.
 
2014-08-28 01:22:36 AM

mongbiohazard: My wife and I have been together for almost 20 years. I hope that we live long lives, and that some day we are the two old farts featured by someone doing a blurb about our 80 year marriage.

When they ask us what the secret is I want to blurt out: "CHEAT."


/and I don't give a fark about your biatching about the link, that's a good bit of his


"Fark anything that moves!  Fark it hard and fark it deep!"

Getting that quoted on the holonet would almost be worth being old enough for someone to care about my philosophy of life.
 
2014-08-28 01:25:12 AM
Just realize after 17 years that your wife is a lazy biatch
 
2014-08-28 01:38:33 AM
Let's just admit it: marriage is a sham. A total sham.

When I see a couple who have married for 50 years or whatever, the only thing I wonder is how many mistresses there have been.  The only difference between older times and today is that people are no longer willing to tolerate cheating.
 
2014-08-28 02:03:50 AM

ornithopter: Bondith: I think the real secret of being married for 80 years is to not die for a really long time, unless they got married when they were 12.

Considering that they are 101 and 102, and still living independently, I think you might be on to something here.

on the other hand, FTFA: "Mr Kaye said the secret to a happy marriage was always agreeing with his wife." He may also be on to something...


that's what I was thinking, pick your battles
 
2014-08-28 02:07:42 AM

chitownmike: ornithopter: Bondith: I think the real secret of being married for 80 years is to not die for a really long time, unless they got married when they were 12.

Considering that they are 101 and 102, and still living independently, I think you might be on to something here.

on the other hand, FTFA: "Mr Kaye said the secret to a happy marriage was always agreeing with his wife." He may also be on to something...

that's what I was thinking, pick your battles


Going on 27 years in mine with nary an affair between us and a general feeling like we just met yesterday.  Best thing that ever happened to me.

But please don't ever get married, you seem like you may really suck at it.  Just keep on keepin' on with your bad self, marriage is definitely not for everyone.  I have several friends who never married and they were better off for it in their specific cases.
 
2014-08-28 02:08:46 AM

Wrencher: Don't be an arshole/byotch.
Don't do things out of spite.
Give each other a bit of space.
Have some respect for each other.
A bit of empathy goes a long way...


/26 happy, fight-free years.


You are either full of shiat or you two live in separate houses
 
2014-08-28 02:11:38 AM

Cepheus Crater: chitownmike: ornithopter: Bondith: I think the real secret of being married for 80 years is to not die for a really long time, unless they got married when they were 12.

Considering that they are 101 and 102, and still living independently, I think you might be on to something here.

on the other hand, FTFA: "Mr Kaye said the secret to a happy marriage was always agreeing with his wife." He may also be on to something...

that's what I was thinking, pick your battles

Going on 27 years in mine with nary an affair between us and a general feeling like we just met yesterday.  Best thing that ever happened to me.

But please don't ever get married, you seem like you may really suck at it.  Just keep on keepin' on with your bad self, marriage is definitely not for everyone.  I have several friends who never married and they were better off for it in their specific cases.


are you misquoting
 
2014-08-28 02:22:50 AM

chitownmike: Wrencher: Don't be an arshole/byotch.
Don't do things out of spite.
Give each other a bit of space.
Have some respect for each other.
A bit of empathy goes a long way...


/26 happy, fight-free years.

You are either full of shiat or you two live in separate houses


Nope. Neither. I'm not saying we never disagree, or mildly bicker, but we don't fight or yell at each other. Ever.
 
2014-08-28 02:38:38 AM

Wrencher: chitownmike: Wrencher: Don't be an arshole/byotch.
Don't do things out of spite.
Give each other a bit of space.
Have some respect for each other.
A bit of empathy goes a long way...


/26 happy, fight-free years.

You are either full of shiat or you two live in separate houses

Nope. Neither. I'm not saying we never disagree, or mildly bicker, but we don't fight or yell at each other. Ever.


This
Married 17 years and lived together 12 years before that. We don't fight. When we disagree, we look at what the options are and determine who the issue is more important to. We also keep separate finances. We respect each other and realize neither of us is perfect. Neither partner should seek to control the other. A good marriage takes some work and compromise, but you are doing it to make the person you love most in the world happy, so there is a reward there as well.  If your spouse isn't the one you love most, you have no business being married.
 
2014-08-28 04:06:16 AM
Mrs Kaye said: "You mustn't be hard on each other. And if you have to give in a little bit, you give in a little bit."

o.O  That's what SHE said!
 
2014-08-28 04:08:08 AM

Ooba Tooba: Man; fix car, plumbing, etc. Don't be a grump. Occasional cooking & cleaning. Work hard, earn well. Light candles, and be thoughtful in the bedroom.
Woman; blowjobs


Truth!
 
2014-08-28 05:24:18 AM
My wife and I have been happily married for twenty years. Everyone around us is divorced or getting divorced. You know what our secret is? Luck. Don't let anyone tell you any different: you make a choice with your heart and then hope the other is not putting on an act to trap you, an ax murderer, an abusive person, a drunk, or someone who wakes up one day five years into the marriage and decides to grow pot in Montana and play video games for the rest of their lives. We have seen it all.

We are lucky.
 
2014-08-28 05:44:26 AM
The secret to any marriage success,
Is 2 little words, NEVER CONFESS!


Married 21 years, known each other over 30, never had a fight. . . . that he won!
 
2014-08-28 06:06:58 AM
Having our 34th next month. I can see us dying hours apart from each other.
 
2014-08-28 06:43:15 AM

Deep Contact: Having our 34th next month. I can see us dying hours apart from each other.


Murder-suicide?
 
2014-08-28 06:47:40 AM

Wrencher: chitownmike: Wrencher: Don't be an arshole/byotch.
Don't do things out of spite.
Give each other a bit of space.
Have some respect for each other.
A bit of empathy goes a long way...


/26 happy, fight-free years.

You are either full of shiat or you two live in separate houses

Nope. Neither. I'm not saying we never disagree, or mildly bicker, but we don't fight or yell at each other. Ever.


Same here
10 years
 
2014-08-28 08:11:08 AM

lhclubs: Deep Contact: Having our 34th next month. I can see us dying hours apart from each other.

Murder-suicide?


Give me that remote!
 
2014-08-28 08:48:25 AM
My wife and I will have 30 in next year. Her parents made it to just short of 58 before her Dad died. Her Aunt just celebrated 71.

Just have to put up with each other.

As for this happy couple. Mozeltov.
 
2014-08-28 09:15:46 AM

August11: My wife and I have been happily married for twenty years. Everyone around us is divorced or getting divorced. You know what our secret is? Luck. Don't let anyone tell you any different: you make a choice with your heart and then hope the other is not putting on an act to trap you, an ax murderer, an abusive person, a drunk, or someone who wakes up one day five years into the marriage and decides to grow pot in Montana and play video games for the rest of their lives. We have seen it all.

We are lucky.


You actually know someone who married an axe murderer?  Or is it just the Montana pot growing thing that's from personal experience?

But yeah, a lot of it is luck.  I met my wife by internet dating... twice.  The first time she messaged me, I thought "oh this girl lives pretty far away, and she seems super outdoorsy, bad match" and forgot to reply.  A while later she messaged me again, thinking "hmm, he's still listed as single and maybe he didn't see my first message or something".  Thinking about how close a call that was still makes me feel queasy; we're not a perfect match but I figure we've got a much better chance at long lasting love than a lot of people out there.
 
2014-08-28 09:48:20 AM

Corn_Fed: Let's just admit it: marriage is a sham. A total sham.

When I see a couple who have married for 50 years or whatever, the only thing I wonder is how many mistresses there have been.  The only difference between older times and today is that people are no longer willing to tolerate cheating.


That's the "only" difference between then and now, ok. And by people I think you mean women. Unless you think back in the grand ol days men used to 'tolerate' infidelity from their wives all the time.
 
2014-08-28 09:53:27 AM

NotARocketScientist: Wrencher: chitownmike: Wrencher: Don't be an arshole/byotch.
Don't do things out of spite.
Give each other a bit of space.
Have some respect for each other.
A bit of empathy goes a long way...


/26 happy, fight-free years.

You are either full of shiat or you two live in separate houses

Nope. Neither. I'm not saying we never disagree, or mildly bicker, but we don't fight or yell at each other. Ever.

This
Married 17 years and lived together 12 years before that. We don't fight. When we disagree, we look at what the options are and determine who the issue is more important to. We also keep separate finances. We respect each other and realize neither of us is perfect. Neither partner should seek to control the other. A good marriage takes some work and compromise, but you are doing it to make the person you love most in the world happy, so there is a reward there as well.  If your spouse isn't the one you love most, you have no business being married.


12 years. There was a brief period where we fought. Came to the brink of divorce. In our worst moments shouted and swore at each other in front of our son (there was a lot of stress due to an unforeseen major life change). It was like only by fighting could we come out the other side and see that we're still ok. Fighting isn't all bad. If you use it and learn.

/haven't done that since
//we're a lot stronger now
///would take a MAJOR catastrophe to get us there again
 
2014-08-28 09:57:01 AM

Corn_Fed: Let's just admit it: marriage is a sham. A total sham.

When I see a couple who have married for 50 years or whatever, the only thing I wonder is how many mistresses there have been.  The only difference between older times and today is that people are no longer willing to tolerate cheating.


Dog pissed in your cheerios or something?

It IS true in the olden days, women couldn't escape a bad marriage ecomonically. Men, they could just take off and leave the old life in the dust.

But to broadstroke it like that is about as cynically an attitude as I have seen.
 
2014-08-28 09:58:07 AM

NotARocketScientist: If your spouse isn't the one you love most, you have no business being married.


I don't think this is a fair thing to say. Marriage is about property and stuff, ultimately. Some people agree to marry for mutual benefits or whatever and honestly I don't see what love should have to do with it. Why should those benefits extend only to those in love? Seems kind of a prick thing to do.

i.imgur.com
 
2014-08-28 10:43:02 AM

inclemency: We've been together 9.5 years and I actively avoid sex because it's a touch boring these days.

80 years? Ew.


It's only when you get older that you realise the advantage of sticking with the same partner. You remember your partner from the age you met onwards. So in your mind you are still banging that person as well as all the ages in between.
 
2014-08-28 10:51:36 AM

jamspoon: inclemency: We've been together 9.5 years and I actively avoid sex because it's a touch boring these days.

80 years? Ew.

It's only when you get older that you realise the advantage of sticking with the same partner. You remember your partner from the age you met onwards. So in your mind you are still banging that person as well as all the ages in between.


If inclemency hasn't experienced this after 9.5 years and is avoiding sex already then it may take a lot of work to get there. Transcending time through sex like you described is not just a result of aging or dementia, it's also an effect of really intense and emotional, electric sex. Not only do you see your partner at all ages but time can also stand still. They sound pretty far off from this happening and may have to wait until dementia to experience it.

/if they're still doing it by then
 
2014-08-28 11:07:29 AM
"Mr Kaye said the secret to a happy marriage was always agreeing with his wife always making a sex tape on our anniversary."

Anyone have a reel to reel projector?
 
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