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(Vice)   Finally a music list everyone can agree on   (noisey.vice.com ) divider line
    More: Unlikely, Justin Timberlake, Smashing Pumpkins, Patti Smith, Bruce Springsteen, Rod Stewart, humans, Sonic Youth, Slayer  
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4565 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 27 Aug 2014 at 3:59 PM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



101 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2014-08-27 02:58:14 PM  
This guy is a farking idiot.
 
2014-08-27 03:18:25 PM  
Covers of John Cage's 4'33"?
 
2014-08-27 03:41:56 PM  

farkingismybusiness: This guy is a farking idiot.


Lighten up Francis.

Funny list is funny.
 
2014-08-27 04:02:29 PM  
Alright, at first I thought they were just trolling, but while they try too hard they do have some good lines:

Beck: The sonic equivalent to a fedora.

Foo Fighters are the Mitt Romney of rock music.

Jimi Hendrix: This guy could only play one instrument.

"OoooOOOOhhhWaaaauUUUuuuGGgggHHHHHeeeeEEEEEaaaaaMMMmmmmUUUUuuNn." There, you now have a thorough knowledge of Pearl Jam.
 
2014-08-27 04:03:29 PM  
I especially liked this one:


Bob Dylan is possibly the most self-absorbed, self-mythologising piece of shiat to ever pick up a guitar. By writing inscrutable songs that pretend to elevate the byzantine dramas of his whiny, privileged life to some sort of self-construed poetry, Bob Dylan paved the way for our current vapid culture of appreciating personal expression over any form of talent. He couldn't sing, he made a bunch of terrible gospel albums, and he sold out his core folk fan base and its laudable values of anti-commercialism by going electric. Although he was seen as a voice of change, he demonstrated himself to be selfish at every turn of his career. And worst of all, he has two first names.
 
2014-08-27 04:03:38 PM  
Give me my 3 seconds back.
 
2014-08-27 04:04:17 PM  

mcmnky: farkingismybusiness: This guy is a farking idiot.

Lighten up Francis.

Funny list is funny.


It's not funny, and not because of whether or not I agree with the content, it's simply lacking in humor.  It's an entire list of "Stop liking what I don't like!"
 
2014-08-27 04:05:33 PM  

mcmnky: farkingismybusiness: This guy is a farking idiot.

Lighten up Francis.

Funny list is funny.


Took me a minute, but I lol'ed a few times.

ELTON JOHN: This is just Mike Myers playing the piano.

RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE: Rage is a band for the dude who just took a poli-sci class at the University of Phoenix Online.

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN:  Mumble-mouth anthem king Bruce Springsteen is the most talented person to ever come out of New Jersey, which is like being the skinniest person to ever come out of a Cheesecake Factory.

YES: No.

And just for maximum trolling:

KANYE WEST: He's okay, but he's really a better producer than a rapper.
 
2014-08-27 04:05:44 PM  
That's snark, right?  You're snarking us, subby.
 
2014-08-27 04:06:22 PM  

mcmnky: Funny list is funny.

trying too hard, but... ehhh, at least everyone got slagged.


/FTFY
 
2014-08-27 04:07:06 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-08-27 04:09:09 PM  
I'm glad that I've never heard of his favorite bands.

At least now we know what happened to one clerk after his record store closed.
 
2014-08-27 04:12:28 PM  
hilarious
 
2014-08-27 04:13:36 PM  
BECK
The sonic equivalent to a fedora.

Well.......
 
2014-08-27 04:14:01 PM  
What has more brains than Kurt Cobain? The wall behind him!
 
2014-08-27 04:14:59 PM  
VICE used to be hilarious. What happened?

Now everything they write sound like some bitter and unfunny
 
2014-08-27 04:18:07 PM  
Snore.   I'm sorry I even gave this guy a page view.
 
2014-08-27 04:18:38 PM  
Vice has been doing this for years.

All they do is troll.

/I personally can't comment, having never heard of any of those bands
 
2014-08-27 04:18:50 PM  

timujin: mcmnky: farkingismybusiness: This guy is a farking idiot.

Lighten up Francis.

Funny list is funny.

It's not funny, and not because of whether or not I agree with the content, it's simply lacking in humor.  It's an entire list of "Stop liking what I don't like!"


If you think it's not funny, fine. But any "stop liking what I don't like" you found, you bright in with you.

"FUGAZI
You know why Fugazi never charged more than $7 for a show? Because if they charged $8, no one would've come. The band of choice for Minor Threat fans who can't do a push-up.

MARVIN GAYE
How big of an asshole do you have to be to have your dad shoot you?"

Plus the springsteen line above (and I'm from NJ and I like the Cheesecake Factory)
 
2014-08-27 04:21:27 PM  

whidbey: Covers of John Cage's 4'33"?


Link
 
2014-08-27 04:22:18 PM  
FRANK ZAPPA
Honestly, this list just needed a "Z," and this person probably sucks.

Fark you.

Actually, I larfed a couple of times.
 
2014-08-27 04:22:45 PM  
Wow, Blondie, AC/DC, Fiona Apple, Black Sabbath, David Bowie.

I think this is the mushmouth dude in the music video down on the 'Videos' tab. While I like all of the artists I named, and I understand that some others may not, I would not classify ANY of them as "worst" at all.

Hell, there's something worse than even the most lazy and overplayed song by any of the performers I listed playing right now here at work.
 
2014-08-27 04:23:01 PM  
I admit, i did chuckle at "Rush is the soundtrack to being a dork."
 
2014-08-27 04:24:17 PM  
Trolltastic list fails without Jimmy Page - That guy sucked so bad he needed a double guitar just to play a single note.
 
2014-08-27 04:27:03 PM  

farkingismybusiness: This guy is a farking idiot.


I think that's subby's part about us "all agreeing".

This made me laugh...

THE CURE
This band just made music about crying, which makes sense considering their lead singer looks like a fat, wet baby.

But only because back in the day, either on The Ben Stiller Show, or In Living Color, they had a skit that was 'The Robert Smith Suicide Hotline', and it was funny as fark to see Mr Mopey trying to talk down depressed people, and of course getting more and more morose with every second. Hell, I like The Cure, and that is still one of the funniest farking comedy bits I've ever seen. Unfortunately, I can't ever find the skit.
 
2014-08-27 04:27:06 PM  

Mikey1969: Wow, Blondie, AC/DC, Fiona Apple, Black Sabbath, David Bowie.

I think this is the mushmouth dude in the music video down on the 'Videos' tab. While I like all of the artists I named, and I understand that some others may not, I would not classify ANY of them as "worst" at all.

Hell, there's something worse than even the most lazy and overplayed song by any of the performers I listed playing right now here at work.


It's a joke.  Why aren't people understanding this?
 
2014-08-27 04:27:20 PM  
This one made me LOL....

MARVIN GAYE
How big of an asshole do you have to be to have your dad shoot you?
 
2014-08-27 04:31:01 PM  
I'm fine with the moron writer not liking what I like, but to think that that in and of itself makes a particular artist bad just shows he's a self-absorbed asshole.

For example, however much of an ass gene Simmons is, I enjoy old Kiss. They were never very good musicians, and their lyrics are juvenile, but it's fun stuff. On the other hand, I detest opera, but opera singers have loads of talent. I just don't have the taste for it.

So when for example the pinhead writer slags Black Sabbath, I know that he doesn't like them, but I also know that he knows jack shiat about music, because those farkers can play, like them or not.

I read about a dozen entries and decided the writer was too big of an ignorant asshole to waste my time on. Any inbred halfwit can make fun of things they don't understand. That doesn't make them either funny or worth listening to.
 
2014-08-27 04:35:52 PM  
So, was that supposed to be funny?
 
2014-08-27 04:36:54 PM  

mcmnky: farkingismybusiness: This guy is a farking idiot.

Lighten up Francis.

Funny list is funny.


I love alot of these bands, but I've been in tears reading this list. The Phish entry broke my insides.
 
2014-08-27 04:37:50 PM  
KANYE SAMPLED APHEX

I frickin lost it.  I want to be in on the joke but I just can't.
 
2014-08-27 04:38:16 PM  

apotheosis27: Mikey1969: Wow, Blondie, AC/DC, Fiona Apple, Black Sabbath, David Bowie.

I think this is the mushmouth dude in the music video down on the 'Videos' tab. While I like all of the artists I named, and I understand that some others may not, I would not classify ANY of them as "worst" at all.

Hell, there's something worse than even the most lazy and overplayed song by any of the performers I listed playing right now here at work.

It's a joke.  Why aren't people understanding this?


Because the way it's written comes off as unfunny.  While there are some amusing bits, as pointed out, mostly it's poor writing, simply lacking in humor.
 
2014-08-27 04:41:50 PM  

LewDux: whidbey: Covers of John Cage's 4'33"?

Link


I wish we could all agree on that. Still I predict it would show a top percentile.
 
2014-08-27 04:43:17 PM  
Well.. I agree with a lot of those.. but at some point, it's just started to feel like..

"what the hell is left?"

I am now wondering what the hell this person listens to...(and likes)
 
2014-08-27 04:44:21 PM  

timujin: Because the way it's written comes off as unfunny. While there are some amusing bits, as pointed out, mostly it's poor writing, simply lacking in humor.


Well, the BeyonceTM write-up is accurate and funny at the same time.
 
2014-08-27 04:44:42 PM  

apotheosis27: Mikey1969: Wow, Blondie, AC/DC, Fiona Apple, Black Sabbath, David Bowie.

I think this is the mushmouth dude in the music video down on the 'Videos' tab. While I like all of the artists I named, and I understand that some others may not, I would not classify ANY of them as "worst" at all.

Hell, there's something worse than even the most lazy and overplayed song by any of the performers I listed playing right now here at work.

It's a joke.  Why aren't people understanding this?


Because it's not a very good one. This handy graphic may help:

media.mlive.com

Sure, they're "jokes", but it's a lame gimmick that lost it's charm long ago.
 
2014-08-27 04:44:57 PM  

medanzig: KANYE SAMPLED APHEX

I frickin lost it.  I want to be in on the joke but I just can't.


On Kanye:  Drukqs' "Avril 14th" on  My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy's "Blame Game": "Is it a sample? I actually don't know what it ended up being in the end, I'm so slack. I know that he tried to farking rip me off and claim that he'd written it, and they tried to get away with not paying. I was really helpful, and when they first sent it to me, I was like, 'Oh, I can re-do that for you, if you like,' because they'd sampled it really badly and time-stretched it and there was loads of artifacts. I was like, 'I'll just replay it for you at that speed if you want.' And they totally didn't even say 'hello' or 'thanks,' they just replied with, 'It's not yours, it's ours, and we're not even asking you any more.'" [laughs]
 
2014-08-27 04:46:41 PM  

timujin: mcmnky: farkingismybusiness: This guy is a farking idiot.

Lighten up Francis.

Funny list is funny.

It's not funny, and not because of whether or not I agree with the content, it's simply lacking in humor.  It's an entire list of "Stop liking what I don't like!"


the point being that this guy hates everything.

/that's the joke.
 
2014-08-27 04:48:36 PM  
List is like a Henny Youngman routine: The first few "zingers" are amusing but the shtick wears thin pretty fast.
 
2014-08-27 04:50:46 PM  

Glitchwerks: medanzig: KANYE SAMPLED APHEX

I frickin lost it.  I want to be in on the joke but I just can't.

On Kanye:  Drukqs' "Avril 14th" on  My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy's "Blame Game": "Is it a sample? I actually don't know what it ended up being in the end, I'm so slack. I know that he tried to farking rip me off and claim that he'd written it, and they tried to get away with not paying. I was really helpful, and when they first sent it to me, I was like, 'Oh, I can re-do that for you, if you like,' because they'd sampled it really badly and time-stretched it and there was loads of artifacts. I was like, 'I'll just replay it for you at that speed if you want.' And they totally didn't even say 'hello' or 'thanks,' they just replied with, 'It's not yours, it's ours, and we're not even asking you any more.'" [laughs]


http://www.whosampled.com/sample/65829/Kanye-West-John-Legend-Chris- Ro ck-Blame-Game-Aphex-Twin-Avril-14th/
 
2014-08-27 04:51:56 PM  
Anyone who works in Statler and Waldorf is fine by me
 
2014-08-27 04:53:11 PM  

medanzig: http://www.whosampled.com/sample/65829/Kanye-West-John-Legend-Chris- Ro ck-Blame-Game-Aphex-Twin-Avril-14th/


I probably should have attributed who I quoted.  It was Richard D. James.
 
2014-08-27 04:54:52 PM  
JOY DIVISION
Despite the fact that there are about two million Joy Division shirts out there, there are maybe two listenable Joy Division songs. That's a ratio of one million shirts per listenable song, which is a pretty terrible ratio. But hey, cool shirt, bro!

I lol'd.
 
2014-08-27 04:56:30 PM  

Tyrosine: List is like a Henny Youngman routine: The first few "zingers" are amusing but the shtick wears thin pretty fast.


Yep.  There was no need to go to 123.  Take your best 40 and make those work.
 
2014-08-27 04:56:49 PM  

Glitchwerks: medanzig: http://www.whosampled.com/sample/65829/Kanye-West-John-Legend-Chris- Ro ck-Blame-Game-Aphex-Twin-Avril-14th/

I probably should have attributed who I quoted.  It was Richard D. James.


I saw the interview.  He is credited on Kanye's album so it seems he did get paid and yes Kanye sampled him.

I posted that for the lazy
 
2014-08-27 04:57:28 PM  
forums.riftgame.com
 
2014-08-27 05:02:15 PM  
FTA: "MADONNA. Poor Madonna."

Ok, that made me laugh.
 
2014-08-27 05:02:39 PM  
It would help if he actually started out from some truth. Like the Marvin Gaye thing, his dad was a raging lunatic.
 
2014-08-27 05:10:36 PM  

Glitchwerks: medanzig: KANYE SAMPLED APHEX

I frickin lost it.  I want to be in on the joke but I just can't.

On Kanye:  Drukqs' "Avril 14th" on  My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy's "Blame Game": "Is it a sample? I actually don't know what it ended up being in the end, I'm so slack. I know that he tried to farking rip me off and claim that he'd written it, and they tried to get away with not paying. I was really helpful, and when they first sent it to me, I was like, 'Oh, I can re-do that for you, if you like,' because they'd sampled it really badly and time-stretched it and there was loads of artifacts. I was like, 'I'll just replay it for you at that speed if you want.' And they totally didn't even say 'hello' or 'thanks,' they just replied with, 'It's not yours, it's ours, and we're not even asking you any more.'" [laughs]


1995: "you're doing it wrong. Yours, Stockenhausen"
2014: "you're doing it wrong. Yours, Aphex Twin"
 
2014-08-27 05:10:40 PM  
Oh God, I am in tears - Slayer:

A lot of music sounds like shiat, but Slayer's guitars literally sound like a cluster bomb of diarrhea hitting the sides of the toilet bowl, and the vocals literally sound like the sighs of a 300-pound man voiding his bowels.
 
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