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(The Hollywood Reporter)   Lois Lane to become heroine for a new series of young adult novels designed to teach teens the finer points of scheming to try to get a husband, how to recognize people wearing glasses   (hollywoodreporter.com) divider line 45
    More: Interesting  
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1702 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Aug 2014 at 12:30 PM (48 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



45 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2014-08-27 11:39:12 AM  
Fails the Bechdel Test right out of the gate.
 
2014-08-27 12:29:40 PM  
Hey, Rick Perry seems to think a chunky pair of glasses will disguise him, so it must work.
 
2014-08-27 12:32:31 PM  
Shouldn't that headline be reported?
 
2014-08-27 12:34:12 PM  
"So you're the young lady that the whole universe knows as the girl who has trouble recognizing Superman."
 
2014-08-27 12:36:03 PM  

wildcardjack: Hey, Rick Perry seems to think a chunky pair of glasses will disguise him, so it must work.


'This looks like a job for Super Derp!'
 
2014-08-27 12:37:40 PM  
It's not that hard.  All you need is a hypnosis ray and a time machine

goodcomics.comicbookresources.com
 
2014-08-27 12:40:25 PM  

Lois Lane has issues...


3.bp.blogspot.com

static.comicvine.com

 
2014-08-27 12:44:43 PM  

tothekor: Shouldn't that headline be reported?


Off-topic comment: Reported!

Screw people that weae glasses.

/wears glasses
 
2014-08-27 12:51:14 PM  
Well, it is an effort to reach a different audience than their usual publications, so good for them.
 
2014-08-27 12:52:23 PM  
My theory is that super-heroes exude a protective gas which makes people in their vicinity stupid.

In fact, that may explain why Superman wastes his time with petty criminals when he could be going after the real criminals of the One Percent, politics, and religion.

Sitcom characters exude a similar gas that makes their neighbours wacky and their wives, servants and children wise-cracking. I call it jokereen, with a small "j" to avoid copyright problems. The Joker from the Batman comics may have access to jokereen which he can use to dumb Batman & Robin down to a fourth grade level, but did not invent it. Unfortunately for super-villains, evil hencymen love to huff jokereen and are frequently all but useless despite heavy armament and infallible plots.
 
2014-08-27 12:54:20 PM  
Superman was feeling bored after a long streak of crime fighting and wanted to go out and party, so he called Batman to ask if he wanted to go to a club and pick up some girls.

Batman said Robin was ill and he had to look after him.

A little disappointed, Superman called Spiderman to see if he fancied a few beers. Spiderman told him he had a date with Cat Woman.

As a last resort, Superman flew over to Lois Lane's apartment to see if she was free. As he landed on her balcony, he saw Lois Lane naked on the bed with her legs wide open.

Superman thought to himself: "I'm faster than a speeding bullet, I could be in there, have sex, and be out again before she knew what was happening."

So Superman did his super thing in a split second and flew off happily.

Meanwhile on the bed, Lois Lane
  said: "Did you hear something?"

"No!" said the Invisible Man, "But my ass sure hurts like hell!"


/adjusted just for this thread.
 
2014-08-27 01:12:18 PM  
supermantv.net

What about proper hat fashion?  Shouldn't they be learning about that, too?
 
2014-08-27 01:12:49 PM  
Meh.
Lana Lang was hotter.
 
2014-08-27 01:15:17 PM  
Coming soon to the WB
 
2014-08-27 01:15:29 PM  
So, the part about the glasses being a disguise, that's the most unrealistic thing?
 
2014-08-27 01:16:29 PM  
I get the idea of pulling in a different demographic, but wouldn't you be better off with a female lead that can do something besides "fall from great heights"?
 
2014-08-27 01:19:53 PM  
She really IS just about the worst role model possible.
 
2014-08-27 01:19:54 PM  
shiat, Jean Grey has the YA love triangle already built in. Slap some werewolves and a censorship happy authoritarian government in there and call it a day.
 
2014-08-27 01:22:15 PM  
www.i-mockery.com
Yes.  This happened.
 
2014-08-27 01:26:45 PM  

StrikitRich: [supermantv.net image 850x536]

What about proper hat fashion?  Shouldn't they be learning about that, too?


Even as a kid I knew that this woman was no better than a 5, and I asked myself, "What would Superman see in her?"  She didn't even have a good personality, as she came off as a major pain in the ass.
 
2014-08-27 01:28:18 PM  

fireclown: [www.i-mockery.com image 298x440]
Yes.  This happened.


Stay classy, DC.
 
2014-08-27 01:32:35 PM  
We can't use that word "Husband" in here subby. It's inherently misogynistic and a shackle of the patriarchy. The approved term is "Walking ATM", although you can also use "Designated earner" or "Secondary source of income" if you want.
 
2014-08-27 01:34:08 PM  
Sure, Lois will spin it like she dumped Superman to liberate herself and act all feminist. Truth is, Superman left her for her brother, Louis Lane.

/Dude needs to come out of the closet already.
 
2014-08-27 01:35:53 PM  

washington-babylon: We can't use that word "Husband" in here subby. It's inherently misogynistic and a shackle of the patriarchy. The approved term is "Walking ATM", although you can also use "Designated earner" or "Secondary source of income" if you want.


MISOGYNIST!  A woman is capable of earning her own money, and not be dependent on a smelly, sexy man.
REPORTED!
 
2014-08-27 01:40:32 PM  

fireclown: washington-babylon: We can't use that word "Husband" in here subby. It's inherently misogynistic and a shackle of the patriarchy. The approved term is "Walking ATM", although you can also use "Designated earner" or "Secondary source of income" if you want.

MISOGYNIST!  A woman is capable of earning her own money, and not be dependent on a smelly, sexy man.
REPORTED!


Hence the "Secondary source of income" at the end.
 
2014-08-27 01:50:47 PM  

brantgoose: In fact, that may explain why Superman wastes his time with petty criminals when he could be going after the real criminals of the One Percent, politics, and religion.


Originally, he did go after those types of criminals, then the Comic Code became a thing and they couldn't portray 'authority figures' in a negative light...the code's pretty much irrelevant these days, but the changes stuck
 
2014-08-27 01:55:56 PM  

Brainsick: brantgoose: In fact, that may explain why Superman wastes his time with petty criminals when he could be going after the real criminals of the One Percent, politics, and religion.

Originally, he did go after those types of criminals, then the Comic Code became a thing and they couldn't portray 'authority figures' in a negative light...the code's pretty much irrelevant these days, but the changes stuck


images.sequart.org
That'shiatler and Mussolini in the picture, I think this is from 1937ish.     We will never see him do this to Putin, in a publication.
 
2014-08-27 01:59:01 PM  

ph0rk: fireclown: [www.i-mockery.com image 298x440]
Yes.  This happened.

Stay classy, DC.


Ya, stories like that are only proper in novel form. If I were to write it, perhaps the title would be hey I'm a black guy now, or for brevity, black like me >.>
 
2014-08-27 01:59:50 PM  

Rhypskallion: Brainsick: brantgoose: In fact, that may explain why Superman wastes his time with petty criminals when he could be going after the real criminals of the One Percent, politics, and religion.

Originally, he did go after those types of criminals, then the Comic Code became a thing and they couldn't portray 'authority figures' in a negative light...the code's pretty much irrelevant these days, but the changes stuck

[images.sequart.org image 280x180]
That'shiatler and Mussolini in the picture, I think this is from 1937ish.     We will never see him do this to Putin, in a publication.


But we do have black president superman, so there's that.
 
2014-08-27 02:01:39 PM  

Rhypskallion: Brainsick: brantgoose: In fact, that may explain why Superman wastes his time with petty criminals when he could be going after the real criminals of the One Percent, politics, and religion.

Originally, he did go after those types of criminals, then the Comic Code became a thing and they couldn't portray 'authority figures' in a negative light...the code's pretty much irrelevant these days, but the changes stuck

[images.sequart.org image 280x180]
That'shiatler and Mussolini in the picture, I think this is from 1937ish.     We will never see him do this to Putin, in a publication.


February 1940, two page story in Look Magazine.

http://sequart.org/magazine/23691/on-how-superman-would-win-the-war/
 
2014-08-27 02:31:36 PM  
According to Philip Jose Farmer Lois Lane's sister is Margo Lane The Shadow's girlfriend. Any man would pick Margo over Lois because Margo puts out. In the radio series Lamont Cranston and Margo went on vacation together and several episodes opened with them sitting down to breakfast!  In the  novels she sometimes stripped to her underwear.

  In fact some Ned Flanders types of the thirties wanted the Shadow banned because of the obvious sexual relationship between Lamont and Margo.

   In the descriptions of Margo she looks a lot like Lois, slim beautiful brunette about five foot five and 110 pounds. Margo was also NOT an airhead she knew that Lamont was the Shadow and was often his companion in fighting crime. Lois is a dimwitted screamer. Give me Margo any day!
 
2014-08-27 02:38:31 PM  

fireclown: washington-babylon: We can't use that word "Husband" in here subby. It's inherently misogynistic and a shackle of the patriarchy. The approved term is "Walking ATM", although you can also use "Designated earner" or "Secondary source of income" if you want.

MISOGYNIST!  A woman is capable of earning her own money, and not be dependent on a smelly, sexy man.
REPORTED!


We're still doing this? Huh.
 
2014-08-27 02:52:08 PM  

Noticeably F.A.T.: fireclown: washington-babylon: We can't use that word "Husband" in here subby. It's inherently misogynistic and a shackle of the patriarchy. The approved term is "Walking ATM", although you can also use "Designated earner" or "Secondary source of income" if you want.

MISOGYNIST!  A woman is capable of earning her own money, and not be dependent on a smelly, sexy man.
REPORTED!

We're still doing this? Huh.


Because running gags get old fast on Fark?     Mamaicular modification of comment positioning, etc.
 
2014-08-27 02:52:24 PM  
Here's my list on how to get a man to fall in love with you:

- Show interest in him and his life (and be sincere about).  Ask questions and engage in conversation about said things.  Keep progressing how personal the questions get until you reach a deep level of intimacy with the questions (obviously this might not happen in one sitting).
- Find common interests and have fun together.  Find things that make you both laugh.
- Be an eager lover.  Make him feel like he is extremely desired.
- Do nice things for him regularly and for no reason.  Being thoughtful goes a long way.  Even if it's simply making him his favorite food or remembering to buy his favorite beer.  Men like pleasant surprises (I guess who doesn't).
- Don't make it all about you.  You have to give a little to get a little.  It's amazing how when you treat someone well, they will want to treat you well.

Obviously it won't work on everyone (there has to be a connection and an attraction).  However, it's amazing how guys will become more attracted to a girl who does these things.  Meh, I could be wrong, but it's worked for me quite a bit even without the sex part of it.

What do farkers think?
 
2014-08-27 03:35:21 PM  

fireclown: [www.i-mockery.com image 298x440]
Yes.  This happened.


I bought that issue new when it came out.
I actually remember taking a ruler (it's a measuring device we used to use in the last century) to check out if her thighs really were bigger when she stepped out black or if it was an optical illusion.

Then I went into my bunk.
 
2014-08-27 03:36:07 PM  

Rhypskallion: We will never see him do this to Putin, in a publication.


Or Dick Cheney.
 
2014-08-27 03:50:29 PM  
i.imgur.com

i.imgur.com
 
2014-08-27 04:01:19 PM  

Vlad_the_Inaner: Because running gags get old fast on Fark?


This one just seems a little more petulant than most. I could be reading it wrong.
 
2014-08-27 04:01:26 PM  

Noticeably F.A.T.: fireclown: washington-babylon: We can't use that word "Husband" in here subby. It's inherently misogynistic and a shackle of the patriarchy. The approved term is "Walking ATM", although you can also use "Designated earner" or "Secondary source of income" if you want.

MISOGYNIST!  A woman is capable of earning her own money, and not be dependent on a smelly, sexy man.
REPORTED!

We're still doing this? Huh.


Only the dorkiest dorks. They're the same people that go around quoting the Soup Nazi and thinking it's just heeee-freaking-larious.
 
2014-08-27 04:16:16 PM  

Noticeably F.A.T.: Vlad_the_Inaner: Because running gags get old fast on Fark?

This one just seems a little more petulant than most. I could be reading it wrong.


Well, one possibility is that the 'new rules' are just to stir the pot, ergo stuff roiling to the surface was a goal, and such posters are just cooperating with the owners.

When https://www.google.com/search?q=jane+shirt+site%3Ashop.fark.com  returns a link to a 404, then I'll discard that possibility.  It's been 10 days.
 
2014-08-27 05:04:24 PM  
Huh. I Poked a presumably abandoned hornet nest with a stick, and discovered it was VERY occupied.
 
2014-08-27 05:08:26 PM  

washington-babylon: Huh. I Poked a presumably abandoned hornet nest with a stick, and discovered it was VERY occupied.

img.fark.net
 
2014-08-28 08:17:55 AM  

PillsHere: Here's my list on how to get a man to fall in love with you:

- Show interest in him and his life (and be sincere about).  Ask questions and engage in conversation about said things.  Keep progressing how personal the questions get until you reach a deep level of intimacy with the questions (obviously this might not happen in one sitting).
- Find common interests and have fun together.  Find things that make you both laugh.
- Be an eager lover.  Make him feel like he is extremely desired.
- Do nice things for him regularly and for no reason.  Being thoughtful goes a long way.  Even if it's simply making him his favorite food or remembering to buy his favorite beer.  Men like pleasant surprises (I guess who doesn't).
- Don't make it all about you.  You have to give a little to get a little.  It's amazing how when you treat someone well, they will want to treat you well.

Obviously it won't work on everyone (there has to be a connection and an attraction).  However, it's amazing how guys will become more attracted to a girl who does these things.  Meh, I could be wrong, but it's worked for me quite a bit even without the sex part of it.

What do farkers think?


I agree with the poster above. Time travel and hypnosis machines.
 
2014-08-28 08:24:25 AM  

vudukungfu: Meh.
Lana Lang was hotter.


Hmm....
Lana Lang:
img3.wikia.nocookie.net

Lois Lane

i243.photobucket.com

The answer, of course, is Annette O'Toole:

www.smallvilleph.com
 
2014-08-28 01:46:56 PM  
Back in 1987, every available Saturday-morning TV character was cast in a special titled "Cartoon
All-Stars to the Rescue".  It was one of Nancy Reagan's "just-say-no" brainchildren....but what had to
be rescued the most was the audience from outright boredom.   I think Ms. Lane had better hightail it
out of Metropolis, or she'll be drafted into the next similar craptacular.
 
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