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(BBC-US)   Family shocked when their cactus hits puberty, has a growth spurt and tears up the house   (bbc.com ) divider line
    More: Interesting, cactus, Mrs Sumner-Wilson, greenhouses, succulents, Agave salmiana, Mink Sumner-Wilson, agaves, agave nectar  
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7709 clicks; posted to Geek » on 26 Aug 2014 at 7:41 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



44 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-08-26 07:11:42 PM  
My father had a tall cactus. When it reached the ceiling, he cut it in half. Then he had two tall and growing cactuses.
 
2014-08-26 07:52:21 PM  
Cactus thread!
cactus.spacebison.com cactus.spacebison.com
 
2014-08-26 08:02:49 PM  
*clicks article*

It's a farking mezcal agave.
In bloom.
 
2014-08-26 08:15:14 PM  
Agaves are cool looking. I've always though Dr. Seuss must have spent time around some. No idea why anyone would think they were cacti though.
 
2014-08-26 08:17:50 PM  
I had an aloe go nuts like that, though not *quite* as spectacularly, no structural damage. Not content with spreading out to about 6' across, every few years it would send up a flowering stalk that would hit the ceiling and start spiraling out from there.

I broke it in half, and within a year I had TWO 6' wide aloes. I think it's real name was Audrey II.
 
2014-08-26 08:26:54 PM  
I am Groot.
 
2014-08-26 08:34:20 PM  
Repeat of a repeat I bet.

*checks link*

Ayup.
 
2014-08-26 08:38:10 PM  
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2615759/Has-day-Triffids-final ly-come-Giant-monster-cactus-shoots-roof-greenhouse-25ft-growth-spurt- tiny-Agave-plant-bought-1968.html

story the first from the daily fail in April
 
2014-08-26 08:43:39 PM  

mesmer242: Agaves are cool looking. I've always though Dr. Seuss must have spent time around some. No idea why anyone would think they were cacti though.


Actually, he did.  Even more influential, however, was something called the boojum tree:


images.metmuseum.org
 
2014-08-26 08:45:53 PM  

doofusgumby: Repeat of a repeat I bet.

*checks link*

Ayup.


Sort of,  The first story was when it broke through the greenhouse ceiling.  Now it's grown another few meters and is in full bloom.
 
2014-08-26 08:54:27 PM  
Mrs Sumner-Wilson, now 70, met her husband Tim through the Lincoln Cactus Society when she was 15.

How sweet and positively British.
 
2014-08-26 09:04:32 PM  

northguineahills: doofusgumby: Repeat of a repeat I bet.

*checks link*

Ayup.

Sort of,  The first story was when it broke through the greenhouse ceiling.  Now it's grown another few meters and is in full bloom.


At least the BBC didn't go all day of trifids.
 
2014-08-26 09:06:05 PM  
That's a farking succulent.

Every cactus is a succulent, but not every succulent is a cactus.
 
2014-08-26 09:21:31 PM  

doofusgumby: northguineahills: doofusgumby: Repeat of a repeat I bet.

*checks link*

Ayup.

Sort of,  The first story was when it broke through the greenhouse ceiling.  Now it's grown another few meters and is in full bloom.

At least the BBC didn't go all day of trifids.


Feeeeed me, Seymour!
 
2014-08-26 09:42:53 PM  
Its having its last orgy before it dies, godspeed you tequila giving beautiful bastard.


This year after a unseasonably amount of rain in the spring/summer of Austin we had Agave's all over town having one big orgy. It was pretty epic.
 
2014-08-26 10:05:06 PM  
I don't think that's a cactus

encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2014-08-26 10:31:39 PM  
The Day Of The Agave
 
2014-08-26 10:50:40 PM  

doofusgumby: northguineahills: doofusgumby: Repeat of a repeat I bet.

*checks link*

Ayup.

Sort of,  The first story was when it broke through the greenhouse ceiling.  Now it's grown another few meters and is in full bloom.

At least the BBC didn't go all day of trifids.


Ok, that's funny!
 
2014-08-26 11:01:55 PM  
I have a couple of these. The stalks shoot up in a matter of days, and after they bloom, the bees go insane for them. Mine do this every five years or so, not a hundred; succulents love my climate.
 
2014-08-26 11:09:38 PM  
static4.fjcdn.com
 
2014-08-26 11:21:12 PM  
that's not a cacti, it's an agave
 
2014-08-26 11:36:02 PM  
movies.mxdwn.com
 
2014-08-26 11:49:33 PM  
FTFAIt looks similar to a cactus but is a species of succulent plant

Agave don't look anything like a cactus. What is going on in this article? What do the English think cacti look like exactly?
 
2014-08-26 11:52:05 PM  

Gneisskate: mesmer242: Agaves are cool looking. I've always though Dr. Seuss must have spent time around some. No idea why anyone would think they were cacti though.

Actually, he did.  Even more influential, however, was something called the boojum tree:


[images.metmuseum.org image 534x687]


I went to click like for your comment and then remembered I wasn't on facebook. Anyway. Cool tree, bro.
 
2014-08-27 12:31:49 AM  
"You have it all this time and then it pegs it"

Kinky.
 
2014-08-27 02:32:51 AM  
what a prick
 
2014-08-27 03:04:22 AM  
Poor succulents. Spending all the energy growing thorns in an low resource environment to fend off herbivorous that died off millions of years ago.
 
2014-08-27 04:39:06 AM  
FTFA: the plant, which has become like a member of the family.

That must be one boring as shiat family.
 
2014-08-27 06:19:32 AM  

AMonkey'sUncle: That's a farking succulent.

Every cactus is a succulent, but not every succulent is a cactus.


Did you just copy and paste that from the article?
 
2014-08-27 07:15:41 AM  

maxheck: I had an aloe go nuts like that, though not *quite* as spectacularly, no structural damage. Not content with spreading out to about 6' across, every few years it would send up a flowering stalk that would hit the ceiling and start spiraling out from there.


That would be amazing to see.  I didn't know aloes could get that big at all.
 
2014-08-27 07:39:47 AM  

xria: AMonkey'sUncle: That's a farking succulent.

Every cactus is a succulent, but not every succulent is a cactus.

Did you just copy and paste that from the article?


No. DRTFA. Just saw the flower and the headline.

/Guess I was superfluous, then.
 
2014-08-27 08:03:01 AM  
fc01.deviantart.net

"How YOU doin'?"
 
2014-08-27 08:24:22 AM  

Prophet of Loss: Poor succulents. Spending all the energy growing thorns in an low resource environment to fend off herbivorous that died off millions of years ago.


They're the most interesting family of plants when you consider all their various forms.  Some are so odd that they seem to be from an alien world.

/Use to have lithops aka "living stones".
 
2014-08-27 08:28:35 AM  

doofusgumby: northguineahills: doofusgumby: Repeat of a repeat I bet.

*checks link*

Ayup.

Sort of,  The first story was when it broke through the greenhouse ceiling.  Now it's grown another few meters and is in full bloom.

At least the BBC didn't go all day of trifids.


Triffids aren't the problem...

2.bp.blogspot.com

If you see Jeremy Clarkson run.  He isn't a pod person but you should run anyway.
 
2014-08-27 08:33:59 AM  

bingo the psych-o: doofusgumby: northguineahills: doofusgumby: Repeat of a repeat I bet.

*checks link*

Ayup.

Sort of,  The first story was when it broke through the greenhouse ceiling.  Now it's grown another few meters and is in full bloom.

At least the BBC didn't go all day of trifids.

Triffids aren't the problem...

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 450x677]

If you see Jeremy Clarkson run.  He isn't a pod person but you should run anyway.


Clarkson, run? He's been taken
 
2014-08-27 08:47:27 AM  
We have about 6 of those damn things in a cluster in the front lawn. My Dad's doing. I absolutely despise them.

The other posters are right, they almost grow a foot overnight.


/kill it! Kill it with fire!
 
2014-08-27 10:41:01 AM  
ReverendJasen:

maxheck: I had an aloe go nuts like that, though not *quite* as spectacularly, no structural damage. Not content with spreading out to about 6' across, every few years it would send up a flowering stalk that would hit the ceiling and start spiraling out from there.

That would be amazing to see. I didn't know aloes could get that big at all.


Neither did I, but evidently if you give them enough room and sun.... What's even funnier is the one I spoke of started out as a pinky-sized cutting a friend gave my G/F because "I just can't get this plant to grow at all."
 
2014-08-27 11:08:30 AM  

doofusgumby: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2615759/Has-day-Triffids-fina l ly-come-Giant-monster-cactus-shoots-roof-greenhouse-25ft-growth-spurt- tiny-Agave-plant-bought-1968.html

story the first from the daily fail in April


... and I'm pretty sure some of you will remember this:

i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2014-08-27 11:13:55 AM  
Just as an FYI for anyone with an aloe... Not long after I gave away two gigantic plants when I moved, I learned that people will pay hundreds of dollars apiece for gigantic aloes.

Dammit, I could have been an aloe rancher. The slowest of ranchers.
 
2014-08-27 12:06:32 PM  

maxheck: Just as an FYI for anyone with an aloe... Not long after I gave away two gigantic plants when I moved, I learned that people will pay hundreds of dollars apiece for gigantic aloes.

Dammit, I could have been an aloe rancher. The slowest of ranchers.


Meanwhile, down at the ranch...
www.silverthornranch.com
"Yup, just had a roundup yesterday. These little fellers were out on the range since spring, and it's time to bring pen them and fatten them up. They'll be busting out the roof by the year 3000, and then we'll put saddles on them."
 
2014-08-27 12:08:32 PM  
winetimes.co
 
2014-08-27 12:35:49 PM  
WelldeadLink:

maxheck: Just as an FYI for anyone with an aloe... Not long after I gave away two gigantic plants when I moved, I learned that people will pay hundreds of dollars apiece for gigantic aloes.

Dammit, I could have been an aloe rancher. The slowest of ranchers.

Meanwhile, down at the ranch...
www.silverthornranch.com
"Yup, just had a roundup yesterday. These little fellers were out on the range since spring, and it's time to bring pen them and fatten them up. They'll be busting out the roof by the year 3000, and then we'll put saddles on them."


Got a chuckle out of that, thanks.

I actually offended my boss once because of one of the monster aloes. I was working from home and the boss called... I'm puttering around on the cordless phone talking to him. I noticed one of the aloes needed water, so I fill the teakettle.

As I'm pouring it out, the boss asks "are you peeing?"

No! I'm watering the plant! Wait....

To this day I doubt he believes me.
 
2014-08-28 02:10:55 AM  
My dad has a cactus garden. Some of the plants were procured illicitly, but they grow beautifully.

A question for succulent afficianadi: I bought three small ones a couple of months ago and in our very hot, very sunny summer they've been growing beautifully. The cactus seems to have new nodes every time I look at it. I've been giving them water fairly frequently (2X a week.) But I noticed that the article said they need drought in the winter. Should I stop watering them when the weather turns cool?

They're indoor plants, if that makes a difference. Will post a pic in a little while.
 
2014-08-28 02:40:13 AM  
img.fark.net

Yeah, these little buggers have about doubled in size since I got them a couple of months ago. They grow up so fast...
 
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