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(Computerworld)   Fifteen of the most breathtakingly stupid predictions made about Apple since 1984   (blogs.computerworld.com) divider line 109
    More: Amusing, Apple, Apple Death Knewll Counter, Jonny Evans, operating environment, disruptive technology, Mac OS, freelance journalist, predictions  
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4833 clicks; posted to Geek » on 26 Aug 2014 at 8:55 AM (30 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



109 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-08-26 07:51:12 AM  
#16 I can cure cancer with a special diet
-Steve Jobs
 
2014-08-26 08:49:27 AM  
Made BY Apple, or Made ABOUT Apple?

Get it right Subby.
 
2014-08-26 08:59:28 AM  
in before "but, but, Micro$oft!"
 
2014-08-26 09:01:08 AM  
The most bizarrely inaccurate statement ABOUT Apple that I've ever heard is that iOS has "the most intuitive operating system and GUI that have ever been created."  No.  Really.  Somebody said that to me one time.
 
2014-08-26 09:01:24 AM  
rlv.zcache.com
 
2014-08-26 09:02:39 AM  
FTFA: "There's no chance that the iPhone is going to get any significant market share."

Steve Ballmer in 1997. He's into sports now. I hope he's not a betting man
.

Frankly, if Steve Ballmer knew the iPhone was coming in 1997 and had 10 years to prepare, he sucks even more than we previously thought!
 
2014-08-26 09:09:07 AM  
As far as I'm concerned, anything that anybody's ever said about anything is wrong.
 
2014-08-26 09:10:25 AM  
FTA: "I use both iOS and Android, and it's getting hard to say which provides the better experience."

How is this one insanely stupid?
 
2014-08-26 09:20:31 AM  
Jonny Evans is an independent journalist/blogger who first got online in 1993 and began writing about Apple in 1999. He's author of Computerworld's AppleHolic blog and writes on numerous tech topics here in the US and UK.


Ah. I get it now.
 
2014-08-26 09:24:11 AM  
"Under Tim Cook, Apple is trying to squeeze as much profit as it can out of the products that Apple created under Steve Jobs."

I'm really trying to figure out how this is insanely stupid.
 
2014-08-26 09:25:13 AM  
Greatest hits FTFA:

the iMac is clean, elegant, floppy-free-and doomed.

Umm, the iMac WAS doomed....they were shiatty PCs.

Is Android Linux?

Um, why yes, yes it is.

"I use both iOS and Android, and it's getting hard to say which provides the better experience."

I fail to see why this is a "stupid prediction" - it's neither stupid, nor a prediction.

"Under Tim Cook, Apple is trying to squeeze as much profit as it can out of the products that Apple created under Steve Jobs."

Again, neither stupid nor a prediction....just an objective statement.

"There's no chance that the iPhone is going to get any significant market share.", Steve Ballmer 1997

As  miscreantsaid before me - did Ballmer have a time machine?


In short; your article was bad and you should feel bad.  If you're gonna regurgitate a "top 15" craplist and pass it off as a noteworthy article, you should at least try a little bit.  I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul.
 
2014-08-26 09:26:58 AM  
"Wrong" does not necessarily equal "stupid".
 
2014-08-26 09:31:40 AM  
uh, subtard, these are predictions made ABOUT apple, not BY apple.
 
2014-08-26 09:39:47 AM  

archnem: Umm, the iMac WAS doomed....they were shiatty PCs.


Of course. That's why they comprised a third of the total number of all one-unit PCs sold as recently as 2012, despite having about an 8% market share. That's why they were the number 1 selling computer, period, for years in the 90s, on the backs of tech-illiterates and schools.

No, they weren't high horsepower graphics editing workstations- but for someone to play Oregon Trail 2, Kid Pix, and other basic WP/learning software, the simplicity of setup and the price have made them one of the best selling PCs of all time.
 
2014-08-26 09:44:48 AM  

archnem: Umm, the iMac WAS doomed....they were shiatty PCs.


Maybe your definition of doomed is different than mine. The iMac was the number 1 selling PC for years after it was introduced, and it still exists today. For something to be "doomed," I think it has to eventually experience doom. And I don't recall them being particularly better or worse than Windows PCs that were out at that time (except for the mouse, which sucked).
 
2014-08-26 09:53:32 AM  

jso2897: As far as I'm concerned, anything that anybody's ever said about anything is wrong.


You couldn't be wronger.
 
2014-08-26 09:54:14 AM  
Yah, ok, I stand corrected.  I was thinking of the "Performa" line of Macs.

/iMac mouse still sucked tho
//slashies
 
2014-08-26 09:56:45 AM  
Spot the Mac Fanboy. It's like spot the vegan, but easier!
 
2014-08-26 09:58:53 AM  
If you hear any expert making any prediction . . . Bet against it.
 
2014-08-26 10:05:43 AM  

archnem: Yah, ok, I stand corrected.  I was thinking of the "Performa" line of Macs.


Oh yeah, definitely. I had a Performa in 1991. They were Apple's "budget" Macs, and they were pretty bad. I think Apple was basically selling Mac's from previous years as if they were new for a discount under the "Performa" brand.

I like to tell the youngsters about computers from back then, and how bad they were. This was the time when computers were finally starting make it into the common household, but they still weren't very good yet.

My Performa had a 33 Mhz processor that could not do floating point operations, and 8 MB of ram. 350 MB hard drive. But it had a 2x CD drive, so that was cool.

/End Threadjack
 
2014-08-26 10:06:54 AM  
Fifteen stupid predictions does not matter if the one payday prediction is true.

"Gullible people will line up for days for a product if you market it as a status symbol"

They got paid.  That is all that matters in the end.
 
2014-08-26 10:10:17 AM  
"There's no chance that the iPhone is going to get any significant market share."


Steve Ballmer in 1997.



wat
 
2014-08-26 10:18:11 AM  

sxacho: "There's no chance that the iPhone is going to get any significant market share."


Steve Ballmer in 1997.


wat


Maybe Steve was taking about Linksys.
 
2014-08-26 10:21:53 AM  

Nova81426: archnem: Yah, ok, I stand corrected.  I was thinking of the "Performa" line of Macs.

Oh yeah, definitely. I had a Performa in 1991. They were Apple's "budget" Macs, and they were pretty bad. I think Apple was basically selling Mac's from previous years as if they were new for a discount under the "Performa" brand.

I like to tell the youngsters about computers from back then, and how bad they were. This was the time when computers were finally starting make it into the common household, but they still weren't very good yet.

My Performa had a 33 Mhz processor that could not do floating point operations, and 8 MB of ram. 350 MB hard drive. But it had a 2x CD drive, so that was cool.

/End Threadjack


Performa 450, by any chance? Sounds like the same specs mine had. I have a much more nostalgic view of it than you, though; with a 33.6 modem and Netscape Navigator, it was responsible for my early love of the WWW.
 
2014-08-26 10:29:00 AM  

bbqsandwich: Performa 450, by any chance? Sounds like the same specs mine had. I have a much more nostalgic view of it than you, though; with a 33.6 modem and Netscape Navigator, it was responsible for my early love of the WWW.


It was a 638CD actually. And as I'm thinking about it, it was probably around 1993 or 1994 when I had that one. I really did like it. I upgraded the processor to a 68040 and maxed out the ram at 36 MB. It had a TV tuner, and I used it for video editing and gaming, which sounds ridiculous when I say it out loud. Mine didn't have a modem though. I don't think I got on the Internet until I got a Power Mac G3 in 1998. I was kind of a late bloomer on the Internet.
 
2014-08-26 10:31:55 AM  

archnem: Yah, ok, I stand corrected.  I was thinking of the "Performa" line of Macs.

/iMac mouse still sucked tho
//slashies


yes, the original one-button "hockey puck" mouse was pretty shiatty.

then again, the magic mouse is awesome and has been around for a long time now.
 
2014-08-26 10:45:29 AM  
Looks like most of these are about the Mac division, which is garbage that should have died years ago.  Apple should have switched to consumer products around 2010.
 
2014-08-26 11:01:18 AM  

ArkPanda: Looks like most of these are about the Mac division, which is garbage that should have died years ago.  Apple should have switched to consumer products around 2010.


#16
 
2014-08-26 11:02:36 AM  

Gecko Gingrich: sxacho: "There's no chance that the iPhone is going to get any significant market share."


Steve Ballmer in 1997.


wat

Maybe Steve was taking about Linksys.


Good catch.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Linksys_iPhone

If that what the quote was referencing, he was right.
 
2014-08-26 11:10:30 AM  
Ctrl F "Flash"---- Zero results.

What about "Flash will be dead when HTML5 is adopted"

petenowak2000.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-08-26 11:11:48 AM  
Stupid headline is stupid those weren't made by Apple those were predictions about Apple.
 
2014-08-26 11:11:51 AM  
Note that many of those quotes were from the very late 90s/very early 00s. Apple WAS in major trouble then. The Mac OS was lagging pretty badly compared to Windows. The PowerPC chips weren't scaling anywhere near the original expectations (I went to a launch event when the PowerMacs came out... they had all kinds of promises about what they'd do). The "budget" PPC chip (the 603) turned out to be a real dog- sufficient power (barely) but really iffy compatibility on a lot of things.

Apple was selling very expensive computers that had very limited software portfolios (that was the day when Mac software was disappearing from store shelves), and they weren't selling all that well. Windows machines were dropping in price, making them more attractive to most people, and Windows 98SE was a pretty decent OS... better than OS8 at the time.

So yeah, at the time, those predictions made sense. Then Apple came out with the iPod, then the iPhone. Take those away and there's no Apple today. That's what bankrolled them back into a position of strength and they were able to parley those gains in the consumer electronics space into higher sales of their computers... one of Apple's strengths has always been a walled garden making for great integration of things. That allowed them to combine the mobile and desktop spaces into a total computing environment that is convenient and easy to use... something Microsoft was late to the party doing and Google still hasn't really done (Android is a good mobile OS, but integration is all through Google's own products and not built into the desktop OS). Ten years ago AMD was also eating Intel's lunch with the Athlon 64 vs. Pentium 4 and look at how that has reversed since then.

There's probably predictions being made today that will look insanely stupid in a few years.
 
2014-08-26 11:17:26 AM  
Alpha children wear grey. They work much harder than we do, because they're so frightfully clever. I'm awfully glad I'm a Beta, because I don't work so hard. And then we are much better than the Gammas and Deltas. Gammas are stupid. They all wear green, and Delta children wear khaki. Oh no, I don't want to play with Delta children. And Epsilons are still worse. They're too stupid to be able to read or write. Besides they wear black, which is such a beastly colour. I'm so glad I'm a Beta.

31.media.tumblr.com

i.imgur.com
 
2014-08-26 11:18:52 AM  

archnem: Yah, ok, I stand corrected.  I was thinking of the "Performa" line of Macs.

/iMac mouse still sucked tho
//slashies


There were a (very) few decent PPC Performa's, the 6360, 6400 and 6500 were good for the time. They were the last of the performa line. Any 4 digit Performa under model # 6360 was utter trash. The three digit Performas were Moto 68xxx series processors and they varied in quality but never got above 'barely adequate'.
 
2014-08-26 11:31:06 AM  
Those were predictions made by others about Apple, not made by Apple about itself.
 
2014-08-26 11:39:21 AM  
Only thing breathtakingly stupid here is subby.

\oh, and Apple users, of course
 
2014-08-26 11:42:06 AM  
I'll make a prediction: at least one of Fark's three iFanatics will be along shortly to insult everyone.  Well, two will insult everyone and one will post charts.
 
2014-08-26 11:43:26 AM  

tillerman35: The most bizarrely inaccurate statement ABOUT Apple that I've ever heard is that iOS has "the most intuitive operating system and GUI that have ever been created."  No.  Really.  Somebody said that to me one time.


Go on and tell us how Microsoft hit it out of the park with Windows 8 and how it doesn't really suck, just no one gave it a chance.
 
2014-08-26 11:45:26 AM  

akula: Note that many of those quotes were from the very late 90s/very early 00s. Apple WAS in major trouble then. The Mac OS was lagging pretty badly compared to Windows. The PowerPC chips weren't scaling anywhere near the original expectations (I went to a launch event when the PowerMacs came out... they had all kinds of promises about what they'd do). The "budget" PPC chip (the 603) turned out to be a real dog- sufficient power (barely) but really iffy compatibility on a lot of things.

Apple was selling very expensive computers that had very limited software portfolios (that was the day when Mac software was disappearing from store shelves), and they weren't selling all that well. Windows machines were dropping in price, making them more attractive to most people, and Windows 98SE was a pretty decent OS... better than OS8 at the time.

So yeah, at the time, those predictions made sense. Then Apple came out with the iPod, then the iPhone. Take those away and there's no Apple today. That's what bankrolled them back into a position of strength and they were able to parley those gains in the consumer electronics space into higher sales of their computers... one of Apple's strengths has always been a walled garden making for great integration of things. That allowed them to combine the mobile and desktop spaces into a total computing environment that is convenient and easy to use... something Microsoft was late to the party doing and Google still hasn't really done (Android is a good mobile OS, but integration is all through Google's own products and not built into the desktop OS). Ten years ago AMD was also eating Intel's lunch with the Athlon 64 vs. Pentium 4 and look at how that has reversed since then.

There's probably predictions being made today that will look insanely stupid in a few years.


This is a huge factor. The author of the original article has "conveniently" forgotten how bad of a place Apple was in. If it was not for microsoft loaning them money they would not exist at all. Microsoft did not do this out of benevolence, they did it out of the need for a competitor (or they were going to be broken apart by the DoJ).
 
2014-08-26 11:46:22 AM  

TNel: Ctrl F "Flash"---- Zero results.

What about "Flash will be dead when HTML5 is adopted"

[petenowak2000.files.wordpress.com image 586x459]


LOL.
 
2014-08-26 11:48:51 AM  

grinding_journalist: archnem: Umm, the iMac WAS doomed....they were shiatty PCs.

Of course. That's why they comprised a third of the total number of all one-unit PCs sold as recently as 2012, despite having about an 8% market share. That's why they were the number 1 selling computer, period, for years in the 90s, on the backs of tech-illiterates and schools.


Popularity does not equal quality. Look at McDonalds and Nickelback.

What were the all-in-one computers that comprised the other 2 thirds? Did they really have that many to compete with when the iMac came out? I bet they cornered the market on orange and blue computers as well.

Regarding the schools, were they given free to schools or provided at a greatly reduced cost?

When I was in school (an arts school) there were iMac labs and PC labs. I hated working in the iMac labs because those computers were underpowered dogs.
 
2014-08-26 11:55:06 AM  
My Apple CSB: I made good money on their stock by buying at $9/share. And selling out at $14/share.

/sob
 
2014-08-26 11:58:49 AM  

grumpfuff: Spot the Mac Fanboy. It's like spot the vegan, but easier!


How can Apple fanboys also be hipsters?

I thought hipsters weren't supposed to have the same crap as everyone else, yet, they do.
 
2014-08-26 11:59:54 AM  

akula: So yeah, at the time, those predictions made sense. Then Apple came out with the iPod, then the iPhone. Take those away and there's no Apple today


This.
 
2014-08-26 12:02:06 PM  

Dragonflew: I'll make a prediction: at least one of Fark's three iFanatics will be along shortly to insult everyone.  Well, two will insult everyone and one will post charts.


I'll make a prediction: the number of iFanatics will be *far* outnumbered by the folks deriding iFanatics and the straight up Apple haters.
 
2014-08-26 12:06:28 PM  

FlashHarry: then again, the magic mouse is awesome and has been around for a long time now.


I can't stand the magic mouse.  It's just too small.  I much prefer the wireless touchpad, but I wish it could be hooked onto the wireless keyboard to use it sitting on the couch.
 
2014-08-26 12:10:02 PM  

impaler: akula: So yeah, at the time, those predictions made sense. Then Apple came out with the iPod, then the iPhone. Take those away and there's no Apple today

This.


And a huge influx of funds from Bill Gates investment
 
2014-08-26 12:26:57 PM  

Majick Thise: archnem: Yah, ok, I stand corrected.  I was thinking of the "Performa" line of Macs.

/iMac mouse still sucked tho
//slashies

There were a (very) few decent PPC Performa's, the 6360, 6400 and 6500 were good for the time. They were the last of the performa line. Any 4 digit Performa under model # 6360 was utter trash. The three digit Performas were Moto 68xxx series processors and they varied in quality but never got above 'barely adequate'.


I had a Performa 5215CD in college. The 5xxx series were the same as the 6xxx series, just with an integrated monitor (I was in college, it made it easier to move it around). 75MHz PPC 603, 1GB HD, 4x CD-ROM drive. Not bad, but honestly, it was still kind of a dog... even after I upgraded the memory to 8MB from the stock 4MB. I did note several issues with compatibility with the 603... my brother had a 601 powered PowerMac and could run things I couldn't, even if overall CPU performance was generally similar.

The later 603s had some useful speed boosts but never got away from some of the compatibility issues (but I think programmers got better at working around them).

They were ok machines for home and student use. Not much more though. The Intel machines were really taking off in terms of performance about this time but the PPC lineage just ran out of steam relatively quickly. With an aging Mac OS that was itself having issues, it was a very bad time to like Macs. While the 68040 was a good and powerful chip in its day and the PPC 601 and 604 weren't bad, they just couldn't keep up as time went on.
 
2014-08-26 12:34:15 PM  
"I use both iOS and Android, and it's getting hard to say which provides the better experience."

If that was a statement that is wrong because iOS is clearly inferior, then yeah.
Please name me one single concept or procedure performed on iOS that is more efficient or intuitive.
 
2014-08-26 12:42:07 PM  

Joe Peanut: Alpha children wear grey. They work much harder than we do, because they're so frightfully clever. I'm awfully glad I'm a Beta, because I don't work so hard. And then we are much better than the Gammas and Deltas. Gammas are stupid. They all wear green, and Delta children wear khaki. Oh no, I don't want to play with Delta children. And Epsilons are still worse. They're too stupid to be able to read or write. Besides they wear black, which is such a beastly colour. I'm so glad I'm a Beta.

[31.media.tumblr.com image 500x345]

[i.imgur.com image 500x241]


so if you had $50,000 to invest, where would you put it?
 
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