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(Mancunian Matters)   Man wanting to stay out partying tells his girlfriend he'll be home late and not to worry about him. Just kidding, he tells her he is being held for £50 ransom. Hilarity ensues   (mancunianmatters.co.uk ) divider line 38
    More: Dumbass  
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3790 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Aug 2014 at 12:23 AM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



38 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-08-26 11:29:32 PM  
So he just needed more beer money?
 
2014-08-27 12:29:14 AM  
He was arrested and given a fixed penalty notice for wasting police time.

That's probably nothing compared to what his girlfriend is going to do to him.
 
2014-08-27 12:31:26 AM  
How low of a self image does this guy have that he goes along with his ransom being only 50 pounds?
 
2014-08-27 12:33:48 AM  
Dad?
 
2014-08-27 12:36:24 AM  

Cereal Fetish: How low of a self image does this guy have that he goes along with his ransom being only 50 pounds?


How dim is the girlfriend that she would believe that someone would kidnap a random grown man for a ransom of 50 pounds?
 
2014-08-27 12:40:00 AM  
The fat man walks alone.
The fat man walks at midnight.
 
2014-08-27 12:40:31 AM  

Foxxinnia: Cereal Fetish: How low of a self image does this guy have that he goes along with his ransom being only 50 pounds?

How dim is the girlfriend that she would believe that someone would kidnap a random grown man for a ransom of 50 pounds?


Dim and dimmerer?

/twp and twperer?
 
2014-08-27 12:42:32 AM  
sounds like these dumbasses deserve each other
 
2014-08-27 12:44:31 AM  

Foxxinnia: Cereal Fetish: How low of a self image does this guy have that he goes along with his ransom being only 50 pounds?

How dim is the girlfriend that she would believe that someone would kidnap a random grown man for a ransom of 50 pounds?


I'm having trouble with that as well.
1. If she's that dumb she's got to go.
2. She did this out of spite and she's got to go.
Either way, it's only trouble from her.
 
2014-08-27 12:45:13 AM  
Bolton? Isn't that one of those palindromes?
 
2014-08-27 12:46:39 AM  
It's not a palindrome! The palindrome of "Bolton" would be "Notlob"!! It don't work!!
 
2014-08-27 12:56:49 AM  
Well sure, man. Look at it... a young trophy boyfriend, in the parlance of our times, you know, and he, uh, uh, owes money all over town, including to known pornographers, and that's cool... that's, that's cool, I'm, I'm saying, he needs money, man. He's got to feed the monkey, I mean uh... hasn't that ever occurred to you, man?
 
2014-08-27 01:10:49 AM  

morg: Foxxinnia: Cereal Fetish: How low of a self image does this guy have that he goes along with his ransom being only 50 pounds?

How dim is the girlfriend that she would believe that someone would kidnap a random grown man for a ransom of 50 pounds?

I'm having trouble with that as well.
1. If she's that dumb she's got to go.
2. She did this out of spite and she's got to go.
Either way, it's only trouble from her.


It sounds like she's the kind of girlfriend he deserves. They're a perfect match.
 
2014-08-27 01:20:36 AM  
How the hell did this thread turn into blaming the girlfriend, who was probably too distraught to consider the improbability of a £50 ransom?
 
2014-08-27 01:23:30 AM  
An extensive police investigation was then launched as houses were searched, before a man was arrested on suspicion of kidnap.

Seriously?  It didn't occur to any of the authority figures involved that £50 couldn't possibly be a genuine ransom demand?
 
2014-08-27 01:29:32 AM  

jtown: An extensive police investigation was then launched as houses were searched, before a man was arrested on suspicion of kidnap.

Seriously?  It didn't occur to any of the authority figures involved that £50 couldn't possibly be a genuine ransom demand?


Mancunian Chav's? It's possible. Not the sharpest knives in the drawer if you know what I mean. The police had to know that and take in the possibility that someone that dumb might actually ask for such a low ransom.
 
2014-08-27 01:34:11 AM  

Norad: It's not a palindrome! The palindrome of "Bolton" would be "Notlob"!! It don't work!!


Incorrect. The palindrome of "Bolton" would not be "Notlob", because a word (or phrase) can not "have" a palindrome. It either IS or IS NOT a palindrome.

/ "Hilarity Ensues"? How long has it been since I've seen that?
// Should be "Jailarity Ensues". Dude got arrested.
 
2014-08-27 01:37:58 AM  
1) The dude needs to grow a pair.
2) If I called my GF and some unknown voice told me that...I would double check the number and then call back. Especially if I could hear some 10cc or Gang of Four playing in the background.

1) SFW
2) SFW
 
2014-08-27 01:49:06 AM  

Norad: It's not a palindrome! The palindrome of "Bolton" would be "Notlob"!! It don't work!!


i.imgur.com
 
2014-08-27 01:57:05 AM  
He's not a kidnapper, he's the bartender.

Pay your bartab and he'll let you leave, you twit.

And SHE needs to grow a sense of humor.
 
2014-08-27 02:00:37 AM  

Foxxinnia: Cereal Fetish: How low of a self image does this guy have that he goes along with his ransom being only 50 pounds?

How dim is the girlfriend that she would believe that someone would kidnap a random grown man for a ransom of 50 pounds?


She didn't believe it, you dumb twunts. She wanted to get him into trouble.
 
2014-08-27 02:08:15 AM  

Big Ramifications: Foxxinnia: Cereal Fetish: How low of a self image does this guy have that he goes along with his ransom being only 50 pounds?

How dim is the girlfriend that she would believe that someone would kidnap a random grown man for a ransom of 50 pounds?

She didn't believe it, you dumb twunts. She wanted to get him into trouble.


Chris Rock explains it well. To wit: To wit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROlWkHuU3ng
 
2014-08-27 02:08:21 AM  

Big Ramifications: Foxxinnia: Cereal Fetish: How low of a self image does this guy have that he goes along with his ransom being only 50 pounds?

How dim is the girlfriend that she would believe that someone would kidnap a random grown man for a ransom of 50 pounds?

She didn't believe it, you dumb twunts. She wanted to get him into trouble.


Well, if the police believed that then they wouldn't have looked for him or fined him.
 
2014-08-27 02:19:50 AM  

chitownmike: Big Ramifications: Foxxinnia: Cereal Fetish: How low of a self image does this guy have that he goes along with his ransom being only 50 pounds?

How dim is the girlfriend that she would believe that someone would kidnap a random grown man for a ransom of 50 pounds?

She didn't believe it, you dumb twunts. She wanted to get him into trouble.

Well, if the police believed that then they wouldn't have looked for him or fined him.


Yep. Always believe the police.

I stand corrected.
 
2014-08-27 02:21:36 AM  
PleadingInsanity:
/ "Hilarity Ensues"? How long has it been since I've seen that?
// Should be "Jailarity Ensues". Dude got arrested.


More to the point, criminal record ensues. That's gonna sting and keep on stinging.
 
2014-08-27 02:25:28 AM  

Big Ramifications: Yep. Always believe the police.

I stand corrected.


The police do have an obligation to treat every complaint as valid until they know otherwise. Even the stupid complaints because there are a lot of stupid people doing stupid things out there. Technically the girl did what she was supposed to and reported a crime as relayed to her by her boyfriend. That's why he's the one on the hook for it, not her.
 
2014-08-27 02:35:44 AM  

Radioactive Ass: Big Ramifications: Yep. Always believe the police.

I stand corrected.

The police do have an obligation to treat every complaint as valid until they know otherwise. Even the stupid complaints because there are a lot of stupid people doing stupid things out there. Technically the girl did what she was supposed to and reported a crime as relayed to her by her boyfriend. That's why he's the one on the hook for it, not her.


I'm very proud of ya, with all your police procedure knowledge. But your point is irrelevant and this "argument" is about to turn full circle.

The original question I responded to was:

Foxxinnia: Cereal Fetish: How low of a self image does this guy have that he goes along with his ransom being only 50 pounds?

How dim is the girlfriend that she would believe that someone would kidnap a random grown man for a ransom of 50 pounds?


This has got exactly zero to do with police procedure.
 
2014-08-27 02:36:02 AM  

Foxxinnia: Cereal Fetish: How low of a self image does this guy have that he goes along with his ransom being only 50 pounds?

How dim is the girlfriend that she would believe that someone would kidnap a random grown man for a ransom of 50 pounds?


Maybe he'd been marked down?
 
2014-08-27 02:51:14 AM  

Big Ramifications: I'm very proud of ya, with all your police procedure knowledge. But your point is irrelevant and this "argument" is about to turn full circle.

The original question I responded to was:

Foxxinnia: Cereal Fetish: How low of a self image does this guy have that he goes along with his ransom being only 50 pounds?

How dim is the girlfriend that she would believe that someone would kidnap a random grown man for a ransom of 50 pounds?

This has got exactly zero to do with police procedure.


Why? She relayed the report. What makes her more qualified than the police in determining if it was horseshiat? Like I said, with Mancurian Chav's a 50 pound ransom might make some sense in its own way. People have died over less money.

Not that I believe that she didn't think that it was probably horseshiat from the start but she can't get dinged for it because it wasn't her story, it was her boyfriends. At worse all she did was call him on his bluff.
 
2014-08-27 03:03:09 AM  

Foxxinnia: Cereal Fetish: How low of a self image does this guy have that he goes along with his ransom being only 50 pounds?

How dim is the girlfriend that she would believe that someone would kidnap a random grown man for a ransom of 50 pounds?


Are you implying that she had it coming, that she was somehow asking for it?

/that's misogynous
 
2014-08-27 03:14:49 AM  

Big Ramifications: chitownmike: Big Ramifications: Foxxinnia: Cereal Fetish: How low of a self image does this guy have that he goes along with his ransom being only 50 pounds?

How dim is the girlfriend that she would believe that someone would kidnap a random grown man for a ransom of 50 pounds?

She didn't believe it, you dumb twunts. She wanted to get him into trouble.

Well, if the police believed that then they wouldn't have looked for him or fined him.

Yep. Always believe the police.

I stand corrected.


maybe I am just jaded, but I think if I called in a kidnapping and told the cops that my loved one was out drinking, then gave them this story the fist thing they would say is " are you sure he/she isn't farking with you?" Followed shortly thereafter with " we'll look into it"
 
2014-08-27 03:32:54 AM  
What a sad world, when a couple can't tell each other the truth, ie "I want to go out and get s###faced, without you" or "I love you but I want some quiet time please". How much of a biatch was this control freak woman that the guy would go to such lengths to avoid her? And why could be not grow a pair and tell her he wanted to go out with some friends?
 
2014-08-27 03:40:13 AM  

PleadingInsanity: Norad: It's not a palindrome! The palindrome of "Bolton" would be "Notlob"!! It don't work!!

Incorrect. The palindrome of "Bolton" would not be "Notlob", because a word (or phrase) can not "have" a palindrome. It either IS or IS NOT a palindrome.

/ "Hilarity Ensues"? How long has it been since I've seen that?
// Should be "Jailarity Ensues". Dude got arrested.


I'll forgive your lack of Monty Python knowledge, because I know you were actually being serious, and that made it even funnier.
 
2014-08-27 04:53:37 AM  
FTFA: "He is fortunate not to have been charged, but to put together a file of evidence and put him through the court system would incur even more cost to the taxpayer.
"We feel we have wasted enough time and resources on him already and not only has he been fined, this matter will be recorded as a criminal conviction on his record."


Now, I don't pretend to be an expert on the British legal system, but how exactly do you convict of a crime someone without charging them?
 
2014-08-27 07:16:12 AM  
"We feel we have wasted enough time and resources on him already and not only has he been fined, this matter will be recorded as a criminal conviction on his record."

So now you've lessened the possibility of him getting a decent job with a criminal record.  Great job, cops.
 
2014-08-27 10:15:59 AM  
If you have to lie to anyone in order to do what you want to do, it is time to re-evaluate your life
 
2014-08-27 11:34:27 AM  

Norad: PleadingInsanity: Norad: It's not a palindrome! The palindrome of "Bolton" would be "Notlob"!! It don't work!!

Incorrect. The palindrome of "Bolton" would not be "Notlob", because a word (or phrase) can not "have" a palindrome. It either IS or IS NOT a palindrome.

/ "Hilarity Ensues"? How long has it been since I've seen that?
// Should be "Jailarity Ensues". Dude got arrested.

I'll forgive your lack of Monty Python knowledge, because I know you were actually being serious, and that made it even funnier.


Ipswich?
 
2014-08-27 01:25:30 PM  

Norad: PleadingInsanity: Norad: It's not a palindrome! The palindrome of "Bolton" would be "Notlob"!! It don't work!!

Incorrect. The palindrome of "Bolton" would not be "Notlob", because a word (or phrase) can not "have" a palindrome. It either IS or IS NOT a palindrome.

/ "Hilarity Ensues"? How long has it been since I've seen that?
// Should be "Jailarity Ensues". Dude got arrested.

I'll forgive your lack of Monty Python knowledge, because I know you were actually being serious, and that made it even funnier.


No Hail Marys or Our Fathers?
 
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