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(Detroit Free Press)   The thing about "reality" television is, no matter how dumb it is, there's always a dumber concept waiting in the wings   (freep.com ) divider line
    More: Stupid  
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5055 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 26 Aug 2014 at 1:44 AM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-08-25 10:25:56 PM  
So...pr0n?  They're talking about pr0n.
 
2014-08-25 10:39:55 PM  
Couples discuss their relationship issues with a panel of experts.
Then they "retire to a camera-free, soundproof" box on set to have sex.
The first season will feature nine, one-hour episodes, slated to premiere in early 2015.


So, about the same ratio of action to airtime as an NFL game, then. With even more mindless blather from the hosts.?
 
2014-08-25 11:50:40 PM  
Can we just have The Running Man, please? Enough with the foreplay, just show people hunting down and killing each other. I know the networks can find a country that they can broadcast it from with impunity.
 
2014-08-25 11:51:40 PM  
And dumber people to watch them

/AKA Honey Boo Boo fans
 
2014-08-25 11:54:14 PM  
Dear god, I hope they never clean or replace the box after each show, so as each couple emerges, we'll get to see the increasingly horrified reactions as the season progresses.
 
2014-08-26 12:07:23 AM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: Dear god, I hope they never clean or replace the box after each show, so as each couple emerges, we'll get to see the increasingly horrified reactions as the season progresses.


Or, make it only APPARENTLY clean.  Then turn on a blacklight as they emerge.
 
2014-08-26 12:23:30 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: And dumber people to watch them

/AKA Honey Boo Boo fans


ROFL
 
2014-08-26 12:31:22 AM  

Mugato: Can we just have The Running Man, please? Enough with the foreplay, just show people hunting down and killing each other. I know the networks can find a country that they can broadcast it from with impunity.


I'm pretty sure that'd just be the uncensored version of Cops.
 
2014-08-26 12:31:36 AM  
Hmmm. I like it, but I think they should have sex in a bag. Call it Sexbag instead.
 
2014-08-26 01:03:02 AM  
33.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-08-26 02:08:43 AM  
The show itself is pretty bad in concept, don't get me wrong.  But I have to take issue with the title.  "Sex Box?"  Really, CW?  I realize that not much creativity goes into a reality show like this, but you couldn't have spent ten minutes and made at least a halfhearted attempt at wordplay?  Isn't calling a show where people having sex in a box "Sex Box" just a  little bit on the nose?
 
2014-08-26 02:10:34 AM  
Step one cut a hole in the box
 
2014-08-26 02:11:56 AM  
Can we just cut to the chase and have 'Ow My Balls' already?
 
2014-08-26 02:13:16 AM  
Sex-Box is what I call my X-box when I watch porn on it.
 
2014-08-26 02:13:41 AM  
I'm waiting for Sex Farm.  Take a sophisticated view of sex ... and put it on a farm.
 
2014-08-26 02:14:55 AM  
Jack Donaghy summed up reality TV perfectly:

"It was reality TV. It can be good, it can be terrible, it just can't be anything in between. "


JohnAnnArbor: Or, make it only APPARENTLY clean.  Then turn on a blacklight as they emerge.

37.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-08-26 02:15:10 AM  

Craw Fu: I'm waiting for Sex Farm.  Take a sophisticated view of sex ... and put it on a farm.


so...animal sex?
 
2014-08-26 02:22:10 AM  

Shadowknight: The show itself is pretty bad in concept, don't get me wrong.  But I have to take issue with the title.  "Sex Box?"  Really, CW?  I realize that not much creativity goes into a reality show like this, but you couldn't have spent ten minutes and made at least a halfhearted attempt at wordplay?  Isn't calling a show where people having sex in a box "Sex Box" just a  little bit on the nose?


They should get a pre-fab shed, or a Quonset hut. I'm sure the B-52s would be willing to do the theme song.
 
2014-08-26 02:28:15 AM  

Hector Remarkable: Hmmm. I like it, but I think they should have sex in a bag. Call it Sexbag instead.


i27.photobucket.com

Not in the bag, on the bag. Specifically, the sex should be performed upon a mattress bag full of sqeaky toys and lots of towels for padding. All broadcast network laws and ordinances regarding allowable nipple exposure should be followed.
 
2014-08-26 02:32:58 AM  
 
2014-08-26 02:43:43 AM  
i63.photobucket.com
 
2014-08-26 02:46:22 AM  
To be followed by "Sex Box Voyeurs", a TV show about real couples at home watching "Sex Box" for the first time.
 
2014-08-26 03:07:17 AM  

Shadowknight: Isn't calling a show where people having sex in a box "Sex Box" just a  little bit on the nose?


They know their audience. When you're dealing with sub-zero IQs you really shouldn't be trying anything fancy. It confuses them.

As it is a small but non-zero proportion will phone in and complain about boxes having sex on TV....
 
2014-08-26 03:28:31 AM  
http://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-reviews/sex-box-proves-massive-turn-235 0 518

Old news is old.

It came across like a flaccid penis swinging in a cold breeze.

This sexy couple was one of the first 'contestants' or whatever they're called -

http://article.wn.com/view/2014/07/21/5_Reasons_Sex_Tape_Didnt_Sell_ At _The_Box_Office/
 
2014-08-26 03:30:13 AM  
 
2014-08-26 03:32:22 AM  
Because paying writers, actors and doing it right is hard.
 
2014-08-26 03:42:03 AM  

red5ish: Because paying writers, actors and doing it right is hard.


this

I'll sell you a script tomorrow that would make you cry, laugh, feel ashamed, ponder this drama of life, and get your respective genitalia all excited.
 
2014-08-26 03:47:00 AM  

Omahawg: red5ish: Because paying writers, actors and doing it right is hard.

this

I'll sell you a script tomorrow that would make you cry, laugh, feel ashamed, ponder this drama of life, and get your respective genitalia all excited.


I laughed, I cried, I stuffed my face...
 
2014-08-26 03:47:54 AM  

Mugato: Can we just have The Running Man, please? Enough with the foreplay, just show people hunting down and killing each other. I know the networks can find a country that they can broadcast it from with impunity.


I always thought "Survivor" would be way more watchable if they took the title literally.
 
2014-08-26 03:53:37 AM  

We haven't even scratched the muthafarkin' surface...

Deodorant Stars

gw9395.files.wordpress.com

Does This Look Infected?

medical.cdn.patient.co.uk

www.ironontshirt.co.uk

Crack Hunters

media.tumblr.com

Look At This Crap!

blogmedia.designpublic.com

Trailer Park Challenge

photos1.blogger.com

I'd Hit it!

i251.photobucket.com

What Are You Lookin' At?

i223.photobucket.com

Bayou Homeskool

www.theruggedmale.com

Not With YOUR Dick

fionaharris.com

Selfies CSI

i4.bebo.com

 
2014-08-26 04:02:26 AM  
I thought it was some sort of cross between sex and boxing when I read the headline.
 
2014-08-26 04:03:03 AM  

bdub77: Mugato: Can we just have The Running Man, please? Enough with the foreplay, just show people hunting down and killing each other. I know the networks can find a country that they can broadcast it from with impunity.

I'm pretty sure that'd just be the uncensored version of Cops.


It can't be worse than the censored version of Cinemax, which is all we're getting here.
 
2014-08-26 04:11:24 AM  

Dahnkster: We haven't even scratched the muthafarkin' surface...Deodorant Stars[gw9395.files.wordpress.com image 405x282]Does This Look Infected?[medical.cdn.patient.co.uk image 442x272][www.ironontshirt.co.uk image 768x614]Crack Hunters[media.tumblr.com image 500x352]Look At This Crap![blogmedia.designpublic.com image 520x343]Trailer Park Challenge[photos1.blogger.com image 600x450]I'd Hit it![i251.photobucket.com image 600x388]What Are You Lookin' At?[i223.photobucket.com image 450x675]Bayou Homeskool[www.theruggedmale.com image 500x200]Not With YOUR Dick[fionaharris.com image 850x565]Selfies CSI[i4.bebo.com image 500x376]


Call your cable provider today and demand the Dahnkster Network.
 
2014-08-26 04:29:50 AM  

Dahnkster: We haven't even scratched the muthafarkin' surface...Deodorant Stars[gw9395.files.wordpress.com image 405x282]Does This Look Infected?[medical.cdn.patient.co.uk image 442x272][www.ironontshirt.co.uk image 768x614]Crack Hunters[media.tumblr.com image 500x352]Look At This Crap![blogmedia.designpublic.com image 520x343]Trailer Park Challenge[photos1.blogger.com image 600x450]I'd Hit it![i251.photobucket.com image 600x388]What Are You Lookin' At?[i223.photobucket.com image 450x675]Bayou Homeskool[www.theruggedmale.com image 500x200]Not With YOUR Dick[fionaharris.com image 850x565]Selfies CSI[i4.bebo.com image 500x376]


Tour de force, or "How It's Done". Awesome post.
 
2014-08-26 04:30:22 AM  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0App7QizQCU

It's already been done by The Onion.
And quite entertainingly, too.
 
2014-08-26 04:36:46 AM  
Sex Box? Not Shame Cube? I think that's a more fitting title. Then I can await the sequel Descending Bear.
 
2014-08-26 04:44:43 AM  

pedobearapproved: Sex-Box is what I call my X-box when I watch porn on it.


www.quickmeme.com
 
2014-08-26 05:45:51 AM  
Like the poster above said, I believe we are inching closer to actually living in Stephen King's dystopian vision of the future: the stories that are told in The Bachman Books. You really think we're THAT far away from The Long Walk? Does "The Network" really sound that odd at this point?

*idontwanttoliveonthisplanetanymore.jpg*
 
2014-08-26 05:45:53 AM  
Can we just start killing reality producers, at this point they are just throwing anything at the wall to see what sticks.
 
2014-08-26 05:57:26 AM  
Ass
 
2014-08-26 06:54:53 AM  
Pour water on them if they're not done in five minutes, and I think we've got a hit.
 
2014-08-26 06:58:59 AM  

Wolf892: Also, if the box is soundproof and there are no cameras, why would anyone think they'd actually have sex on command in the box? That's just stupid. They'll just go in, stare at each other and then come out saying whatever the produces have told them to say.

By jove, I think someone's figured it out.  If anything, to make the lawyers happy I'd bet they're not allowed to have sex in the box, and the rest is handled by an oppressively binding NDA.  And the target audience will be dumb enough to fall for it.  They may even "leak" the gimmick afterwards to keep people talking about the show.  Are they really having sex in there, or is this all a sham?  You'll have to watch more episodes and see for yourself!

What baffles me about reality shows isn't the inanity of the content, the stupidity of the viewers or the blatant deception by the producers.  That's all human nature -- a shameful slice of it, to be sure, but nothing we haven't seen before.  Rather, it's that they take so much effort to control what's supposedly an unscripted format.  The main benefit of reality shows is that they don't require actors or writing.  It's the bare bones of TV programming, with the absolute lowest of start-up costs -- a premise, a set, some dumb volunteers, a video editor and you're good to go.  So when you truck in an army of writers, supervisors, directors and other staff to control the footage until you get exactly the sort of show you want, you're completely defeating the purpose of "reality" TV's corner-cutting.

I've never been a fan of "reality" TV, but its present format resembles a turd that someone spent countless hours meticulously adjusting and adding chemicals and painting and hiring professionals to tweak & prod so that it looks and smells exactly like a turd.  Um, those things aren't hard to make yo; if you're willing to wait a little while I can just get a fresh one for ya.
 
2014-08-26 07:02:29 AM  
If the box is a-rockin'
Don't come a-knockin'!
 
2014-08-26 07:29:09 AM  
 
2014-08-26 07:51:12 AM  
So the problem the couples will have is the wife has a squeezebox and the husband is unable to sleep at night?
 
2014-08-26 07:51:40 AM  
So Owwwww My Balls is next season?
 
2014-08-26 08:07:27 AM  

groppet: So Owwwww My Balls is next season?


We passed Owww My Balls a long time ago.
 
2014-08-26 08:33:30 AM  

Mugato: We passed Owww My Balls a long time ago.


Precisely.

Next up is: Ass - The Series!
 
2014-08-26 08:35:36 AM  

Mugato: groppet: So Owwwww My Balls is next season?

We passed Owww My Balls a long time ago.


Yup. It's called "Wipeout."

It was preceded by a classier cousin, "American Gladiators."
 
2014-08-26 09:00:50 AM  

The_Six_Fingered_Man: Mugato: groppet: So Owwwww My Balls is next season?

We passed Owww My Balls a long time ago.

Yup. It's called "Wipeout."

It was preceded by a classier cousin, "American Gladiators."


I'd rather watch Takashi's Castle
 
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