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(Huffington Post Canada)   Man declared dead in 1986 has condition upgraded to 'alive' in 2014. Authorities suggest his total lack of movement over the past 28 years was due to him being tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk   (huffingtonpost.ca) divider line 56
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9123 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Aug 2014 at 1:12 PM (3 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-08-25 11:09:15 AM
Maybe he was just dead for tax purposes.
 
2014-08-25 11:26:36 AM
Don't attend your own funeral as a guy named Phil Shifley. Get rid of cable and switch to Direct TV.
 
2014-08-25 11:29:02 AM
He feels happy
 
2014-08-25 12:02:49 PM
I resemble that remark.
 
2014-08-25 12:51:16 PM
He got better.
 
2014-08-25 12:51:39 PM
'es stunned, Ontarians stun easy.  Remarkable people, beautiful plumage.
 
2014-08-25 01:01:36 PM
Good night Jeff-Boy.
 
2014-08-25 01:13:40 PM
Was he simply transferred to a better hospital?
 
2014-08-25 01:15:02 PM
Sources say the man has lovely plumage.
 
2014-08-25 01:16:24 PM
E was pining for the fjords.
 
2014-08-25 01:21:28 PM

Ennuipoet: 'es stunned, Ontarians stun easy.  Remarkable people, beautiful plumage.


The plumage doesn't enter into it!
 
2014-08-25 01:22:15 PM
He'll be stone dead in a moment.
 
2014-08-25 01:26:18 PM
Allo, Polly!
 
2014-08-25 01:28:44 PM
The Mounties always get their man. Sometimes it takes them forty years, but they never give up, never say die.

As a matter of fact, the waiting line for a quadruple bypass is shorter than the waiting line for a death certificate. It's wise to declare yourself dead as soon as your are born to avoid problems when you really die. If you are really thinking ahead you'll go to a Death Board and have them grant you a death certificate pre-completed with date and cause of death. I am going to die in 2065 of apoplexy over the way kids dress nowadays. Apoplexy was still a real thing when I got the death certificate. For $25 extra you can get it in colour and framed for display.
 
2014-08-25 01:28:52 PM
blog.gleanster.com
 
2014-08-25 01:33:08 PM

snowybunting: The plumage doesn't enter into it!


Look mooshie, if I 'adn't nailed that man down, he woulda muscled up 'em bar, bent 'em apart with his lil becker and VOOM!
 
2014-08-25 01:34:47 PM
Monty Python...sorta like Shakespeare in that there's an appropriate quote for just about every circumstance...
except that more people are familiar with Monty Python than with ol' Bill nowadays.
Forsooth.
 
2014-08-25 01:40:35 PM
Motive? Show me a photo of his wife.
 
2014-08-25 01:42:22 PM
I don't understand all the Parrot Sketch references here.

The parrot REALLY WAS dead!  That was the farking joke.
 
2014-08-25 01:42:33 PM

naughtyrev: Maybe he was just dead for tax purposes.


Hot Black Desiato?
 
2014-08-25 01:42:36 PM
Good thing they didn't cremate him.
 
2014-08-25 01:48:20 PM
That was some sucky reporting.  What triggered the "routine audit" of a 35+ year-old closed case?  And what did they have to connect him to his assumed identity?  And how did they know he was in U.S.?  And how did they know which of the hundreds in the U.S. using the same name to contact?

I'm guessing that the police was notified of his whereabouts by either 1.) one of his relatives or 2.) the U.S. government (through one of its citizen monitoring programs).
 
2014-08-25 01:48:23 PM

durbnpoisn: I don't understand all the Parrot Sketch references here.

The parrot REALLY WAS dead!  That was the farking joke.


I'm not understanding your banter.
 
2014-08-25 01:49:16 PM

durbnpoisn: I don't understand all the Parrot Sketch references here.

The parrot REALLY WAS dead!  That was the farking joke.


Yep, the bring out your dead sketch was clearly the better choice.
 
2014-08-25 01:50:32 PM

durbnpoisn: I don't understand all the Parrot Sketch references here.

The parrot REALLY WAS dead!  That was the farking joke.


Ok fine, here's an appropriate Pyhton reference

img.fark.net
 
2014-08-25 01:52:55 PM
Will his family have to repay any insurance benefits received over all this time?
 
2014-08-25 01:53:12 PM
Thank you.

Much better.
 
2014-08-25 02:11:03 PM

durbnpoisn: I don't understand all the Parrot Sketch references here.

The parrot REALLY WAS dead!  That was the farking joke.


Well, now we can't know, can we? The Parrot Sketch aired December 7, 1969. 28 years later.. did anyone check in 1998 whether the parrot is alive?
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-08-25 02:14:41 PM
The Parrot Sketch aired December 7, 1969. 28 years later.. did anyone check in 1998 whether the parrot is alive?

It was still dead on SNL in 1997.
 
2014-08-25 02:14:49 PM
At least he didn't run himself over, like Oliver did....
 
2014-08-25 02:15:34 PM

jbrad47128: At least he didn't run himself over, like Oliver did....


Silly Twit
 
2014-08-25 02:20:06 PM
So it says the Canadian authorities aren't pressing any charges. What about the US? I am sure living under an assumed identity for 40 years involves a few criminal activities (notably fraud).
 
2014-08-25 02:21:33 PM

Literally Addicted: Will his family have to repay any insurance benefits received over all this time?


Well there was the article on fark the other day about the dead beat dad who had been declared dead and showed back up 20 years later because he wanted to be declared alive again. Meanwhile social security is trying to get back the survivors benefits that they paid out to the kids...from the kids.
 
2014-08-25 02:21:59 PM
Once again, the Death Panels fail.
Thanks, Obama.
 
2014-08-25 02:27:38 PM

minoridiot: That was some sucky reporting.  What triggered the "routine audit" of a 35+ year-old closed case?  And what did they have to connect him to his assumed identity?  And how did they know he was in U.S.?  And how did they know which of the hundreds in the U.S. using the same name to contact?

I'm guessing that the police was notified of his whereabouts by either 1.) one of his relatives or 2.) the U.S. government (through one of its citizen monitoring programs).


Seriously. The guy forgot the most important part of the W5H. How the hell did any of this happen?
 
2014-08-25 02:29:52 PM
Ronald Stan

Obviously, they had the wrong guy.  They meant to declare Ronald Kenny dead.
 
2014-08-25 02:30:32 PM

The5thElement: durbnpoisn: I don't understand all the Parrot Sketch references here.

The parrot REALLY WAS dead!  That was the farking joke.

I'm not understanding your banter.


I believe he's looking for an argument.
This is abuse.
 
2014-08-25 02:38:11 PM
Yoda's Pen Is:

I believe he's looking for an argument.
This is abuse FARK abuse.


FTFY & FTFM

/carry on
 
2014-08-25 02:51:02 PM
No joke - I've often wondered about faking your death these days.

From what I understand, if you go missing for a while, and your body isn't found for a while, you're declared dead.  It's entirely possible for someone to rack up 300k in student loans at 8% interest and a job that pays 45k.  And bankruptcy won't do anything.

Faking a death/stealing an identity seems like an easy way to go about things.
 
2014-08-25 02:51:15 PM

Foxxinnia: minoridiot: That was some sucky reporting.  What triggered the "routine audit" of a 35+ year-old closed case?  And what did they have to connect him to his assumed identity?  And how did they know he was in U.S.?  And how did they know which of the hundreds in the U.S. using the same name to contact?

I'm guessing that the police was notified of his whereabouts by either 1.) one of his relatives or 2.) the U.S. government (through one of its citizen monitoring programs).

Seriously. The guy forgot the most important part of the W5H. How the hell did any of this happen?


They probably didn't forget, the government probably wasn't saying.

Most likely there was either something that nobody bothered to look at in the past or (more likely) the IRS or SSA was reviewing files and asked the Canadian authorities a question.
 
2014-08-25 02:51:18 PM

syzygy whizz: Monty Python...sorta like Shakespeare in that there's an appropriate quote for just about every circumstance...
except that more people are familiar with Monty Python than with ol' Bill nowadays.
Forsooth.


For you and very apropos...

"Alive again? then show me where he is:
I'll give a thousand pound to look upon him."

The Second Part of King Henry the Sixth
Act III. Scene III.
 
2014-08-25 02:59:44 PM

MBooda: Ronald Stan

Obviously, they had the wrong guy.  They meant to declare Ronald Kenny dead.


They didn't kill Kenny?
Those bastards.
 
2014-08-25 03:03:25 PM

Fark_Guy_Rob: No joke - I've often wondered about faking your death these days.

From what I understand, if you go missing for a while, and your body isn't found for a while, you're declared dead.  It's entirely possible for someone to rack up 300k in student loans at 8% interest and a job that pays 45k.  And bankruptcy won't do anything.

Faking a death/stealing an identity seems like an easy way to go about things.


Faking the death is possible.  Getting a new usable identity is harder, depending on what you want to use it for.
 
2014-08-25 03:07:01 PM

durbnpoisn: I don't understand all the Parrot Sketch references here.

The parrot REALLY WAS dead!  That was the farking joke.


Okay, but he likely does do a fair amount of kippin' on 'is back, especially nowadays.
 
2014-08-25 03:13:56 PM

Fark_Guy_Rob: No joke - I've often wondered about faking your death these days.

From what I understand, if you go missing for a while, and your body isn't found for a while, you're declared dead.  It's entirely possible for someone to rack up 300k in student loans at 8% interest and a job that pays 45k.  And bankruptcy won't do anything.

Faking a death/stealing an identity seems like an easy way to go about things.


Forty years ago it was probably fairly easy. Today, probably not so much. Modern electronic records would make it much harder to disapear and easier to be found.

And in your specific example someone will put effort into locating you before ignoring afew hundred thousand dollars debt.
 
2014-08-25 03:16:41 PM
i.chzbgr.com
 
2014-08-25 03:22:16 PM

Yoda's Pen Is: The5thElement: durbnpoisn: I don't understand all the Parrot Sketch references here.

The parrot REALLY WAS dead!  That was the farking joke.

I'm not understanding your banter.

I believe he's looking for an argument.
This is abuse.


Top-hole. Bally Jerry, pranged his kite right in the how's your father. Hairy blighter, dicky-birdied, feathered back on his Sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harper's and caught his can in the Bertie.
 
2014-08-25 03:31:59 PM

i.r.id10t: Fark_Guy_Rob: No joke - I've often wondered about faking your death these days.

From what I understand, if you go missing for a while, and your body isn't found for a while, you're declared dead.  It's entirely possible for someone to rack up 300k in student loans at 8% interest and a job that pays 45k.  And bankruptcy won't do anything.

Faking a death/stealing an identity seems like an easy way to go about things.

Faking the death is possible.  Getting a new usable identity is harder, depending on what you want to use it for.


I was thinking stay at home Mom, so it shouldn't be too bad.  I think as long as you don't look too shady and don't drive a car, it should be okay.
 
2014-08-25 04:19:43 PM

macross87: Yoda's Pen Is: The5thElement: durbnpoisn: I don't understand all the Parrot Sketch references here.

The parrot REALLY WAS dead!  That was the farking joke.

I'm not understanding your banter.

I believe he's looking for an argument.
This is abuse.

Top-hole. Bally Jerry, pranged his kite right in the how's your father. Hairy blighter, dicky-birdied, feathered back on his Sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harper's and caught his can in the Bertie.


Perhaps if you typed it slower.
 
2014-08-25 04:42:14 PM

dywed88: Fark_Guy_Rob: No joke - I've often wondered about faking your death these days.

From what I understand, if you go missing for a while, and your body isn't found for a while, you're declared dead.  It's entirely possible for someone to rack up 300k in student loans at 8% interest and a job that pays 45k.  And bankruptcy won't do anything.

Faking a death/stealing an identity seems like an easy way to go about things.

Forty years ago it was probably fairly easy. Today, probably not so much. Modern electronic records would make it much harder to disapear and easier to be found.

And in your specific example someone will put effort into locating you before ignoring afew hundred thousand dollars debt.


Comming back in the country with a new name from say canada getting a new SSN and starting over. The other pretend your Amish or FLDS and we're never in the system then get a new id and SSN. Not that I have given it any thought or anything
 
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