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(Lincolnshire Echo)   "Dear Madam, we are writing to inform you that you are dead"   (lincolnshireecho.co.uk) divider line 31
    More: Amusing  
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8270 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Aug 2014 at 8:23 AM (36 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



31 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-08-24 06:54:02 AM  
Dear madam

Are you dead yet?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
How about now?
 
2014-08-24 07:05:45 AM  
'Ere... she says she's not dead
 
2014-08-24 08:04:54 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: 'Ere... she says she's not dead


She will be soon, she's very ill!
 
2014-08-24 08:25:28 AM  
I'm getting better!
 
2014-08-24 08:27:40 AM  
They sent flowers.

Was it a wreath?
 
2014-08-24 08:29:49 AM  
In a America they would argue the point and you would have to take them to court.
 
2014-08-24 08:35:56 AM  
If this ever happened to me I'd hold the letter up for a picture, Truman-style.
 
2014-08-24 08:38:33 AM  

daffy: I'm getting better!


No, you're not -- you'll be stone dead in a moment.
 
2014-08-24 08:40:32 AM  
Don't tell Mom!
 
2014-08-24 08:46:44 AM  
It happened to a coworker of mine a few years ago. He got a letter from the CRA (Canuckian IRS) stating that since he was dead he could no longer claim his kids as dependents. What saved him from a bureaucratic nightmare is that his SIN still listed him as living.
 
2014-08-24 08:47:58 AM  
Did you tell everyone I was dead, Moss?
 
2014-08-24 08:59:01 AM  
violetonorange.com
 
2014-08-24 09:00:46 AM  
Why would you to write to someone to tell them they are dead? Then I actually RTFA and discovered that the headline was bogus.

Funny, but bogus.
 
2014-08-24 09:05:43 AM  
Well I declare.

Some people just won't take a hint.

It's about time it got spelt out for the old dear.

Can't keep the Reaper waiting now, can we?
 
2014-08-24 09:16:44 AM  
31.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-08-24 09:22:23 AM  

MassAsster: In a America they would argue the point and you would have to take them to court.


Given the number of dead people whose relatives continue to claim pension and/or Social Security checks on their behalf, that's actually not an unreasonable position.  Sucks, yeah, but whattayagonnado?
 
2014-08-24 09:24:29 AM  
Something very like that happened to my father. He was bureaucratically dead for three or four months. I suggested a lucrative crime spree on the grounds that you can't prosecute a corpse, but instead the late Mr. Dibbley Senior spent the time on the phone to various low-paid employees that his pension should be reinstated on the grounds that despite what their records said, he was in face quite alive.Did I mention this took months? And that it once it was sorted they killed him in their files again and spent three more months trying to fix it properly?
 
2014-08-24 09:30:54 AM  

Wolf892: This happens so often that you'd think there'd be a system put in place to clean up the problem of when someone alive is registered as "dead."

Speaking of "Dead" did mods delete the article about the 41 year old man leaving his wife for a 19 year old teen because it was getting too awesome for the new Farkistan rules?


It's not deleted, but it is redlit.  Dunno.
 
2014-08-24 09:31:52 AM  
Air mail?

*clicks*

Oh. She's not dead. Carry on.
 
2014-08-24 09:37:26 AM  
See. Death panels.
 
2014-08-24 09:39:45 AM  
I would love to get one of those. I could show up and collect my own life insurance.

/Look, sir, the Government said I was dead and we both know they're *NEVER* wrong, so pay up.
//Also, I'm hungry. Do you have any extra brains lying around?
 
2014-08-24 10:17:01 AM  
Abe V?  Is that you?
 
2014-08-24 11:10:57 AM  
CSB
My landlord bought our current house in an estate sale. After 2 years, I'm still getting mail addressed to the people who used to live here, informing me that their records now show them as deceased. Except for Chase. Who keeps sending an account balance every month of over 60K.
 
2014-08-24 01:41:03 PM  

jayphat: CSB
My landlord bought our current house in an estate sale. After 2 years, I'm still getting mail addressed to the people who used to live here, informing me that their records now show them as deceased. Except for Chase. Who keeps sending an account balance every month of over 60K.


Time for you to cash out!
 
2014-08-24 01:44:51 PM  
ts1.mm.bing.net
Now tell her something she doesn't know.
 
2014-08-24 04:26:14 PM  

macross87: jayphat: CSB
My landlord bought our current house in an estate sale. After 2 years, I'm still getting mail addressed to the people who used to live here, informing me that their records now show them as deceased. Except for Chase. Who keeps sending an account balance every month of over 60K.

Time for you to cash out!


I'm just curious if whoever managed their estate knew that money was there.
 
2014-08-24 06:39:35 PM  
Was is the Salmon Mousse?
 
2014-08-24 07:58:38 PM  
This happened to an older cow-orker of mine.
He retired, and went down to the Social Security Office to file the paperwork.
The idiot listed him as 'deceased', not 'retired', never noticed it, and put the paperwork through.
So, he goes home, thinking everything is good.
Two months later, he gets a letter stating that since he is dead, his SS payments are now null and void.
Instead of getting mad, he goes and tries to explain to them that he is, in fact, still alive.
No deal. "The system says that you are deceased. Have a good day."
He decides to camp out in the office, everyday, for a week.
They call the cops, saying he's trespassing.
He shows the cops the letter from them, and says "If I'm dead, then arrest me. I want this to go to court."
Suddenly, the computer records get sorted out.
I don't know if anything changed since then, but you never know...
 
2014-08-24 08:33:10 PM  

Wolf892: Relatively Obscure: Wolf892: This happens so often that you'd think there'd be a system put in place to clean up the problem of when someone alive is registered as "dead."

Speaking of "Dead" did mods delete the article about the 41 year old man leaving his wife for a 19 year old teen because it was getting too awesome for the new Farkistan rules?

It's not deleted, but it is redlit.  Dunno.

What the heck is redlit?? That's like taking something away that was previously given to someone... There's a name for that!


Yeah, I came back looking for that, wtf
 
2014-08-24 09:12:11 PM  

MassAsster: Wolf892: Relatively Obscure: Wolf892: This happens so often that you'd think there'd be a system put in place to clean up the problem of when someone alive is registered as "dead."

Speaking of "Dead" did mods delete the article about the 41 year old man leaving his wife for a 19 year old teen because it was getting too awesome for the new Farkistan rules?

It's not deleted, but it is redlit.  Dunno.

What the heck is redlit?? That's like taking something away that was previously given to someone... There's a name for that!

Yeah, I came back looking for that, wtf


Back in my day, we'd call that being an Indian giver. These days though, as soon as I'd post that, someone would post that little kid saying...

24.media.tumblr.com

So I'll save someone the trouble and post it myself.

/you're welcome.
 
2014-08-25 01:06:10 PM  

Duane Dibbley: Something very like that happened to my father. He was bureaucratically dead for three or four months. I suggested a lucrative crime spree on the grounds that you can't prosecute a corpse, but instead the late Mr. Dibbley Senior spent the time on the phone to various low-paid employees that his pension should be reinstated on the grounds that despite what their records said, he was in face quite alive.Did I mention this took months? And that it once it was sorted they killed him in their files again and spent three more months trying to fix it properly?


THIS. The lady in the article was lucky she didn't have to spend months proving she is actually alive.
 
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