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(Onion AV Club)   Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins... Again   ( avclub.com) divider line
    More: Cool  
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5563 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 23 Aug 2014 at 2:21 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-08-22 10:05:12 PM  
joeadventuremagazine.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-08-22 10:52:37 PM  
Christ. No. No. No. No. No.
 
2014-08-22 11:14:16 PM  
Omg, yes. I loved that movie.

/I love a lot of really bad movies.
 
2014-08-23 12:06:06 AM  
Could be worse. They could try to do another Exorcist movie.

And it's not that bad a movie. It's Syfy grade filmography and acting was a bit weak for the mid 80s. In fact, the short novels it's based on could make a USA or CW series, although that was more my dad's favorite.
 
2014-08-23 01:27:36 AM  
In the third act it will be revealed that Mr. Gordons is really a toaster oven played by Keanu Reeves.
 
2014-08-23 02:25:33 AM  

gaslight: Christ. No. No. No. No. No.


You move like a yak with two club feet.
 
2014-08-23 02:33:23 AM  

whither_apophis: gaslight: Christ. No. No. No. No. No.

You move like a yak with two club feet.


All I remember of that movie was the insulting teacher.
 
2014-08-23 02:41:09 AM  

Alphax: whither_apophis: gaslight: Christ. No. No. No. No. No.

You move like a yak with two club feet.

All I remember of that movie was the insulting teacher.


What, you don't remember Remo hanging precariously from the scaffolding around the Statue of Liberty? Yeah, that's about all I remember myself, and I watched it again just last month.
 
2014-08-23 02:42:16 AM  
That's a pretty tasteless headline this soon after his suicide.
 
2014-08-23 02:42:44 AM  
It's totally time for a Remo Williams/Hudson Hawk double feature.
 
2014-08-23 02:44:38 AM  
Remo Williams was not a good film, but still fun because of Joel Grey (and I like Fred Ward as a supporting actor).  Its kind of a guilty pleasure of mine because I know it's not a film.
 
2014-08-23 03:10:30 AM  

slayer199: Remo Williams was not a good film, but still fun because of Joel Grey (and I like Fred Ward as a supporting actor).  Its kind of a guilty pleasure of mine because I know it's not a film.


a) you're totally wrong about the first part.  it was great, and it was the 80's so give it a friggin break.

b) you're even more wrong about Joel Grey.  that performance was almost as borderline offensive as Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany's.

// wanna try for strike 3?
 
2014-08-23 03:34:25 AM  
Oh hell yeah. Wilford Brimley! Fred Ward! And lets not forget Kate Mulgrews breakout role.  I once found one of the Destroyer novels in a used bookstore where Warren Murphy  made fun of the movie.
 
2014-08-23 03:43:29 AM  
Pitiful. I can see the deadly hamburger has done its evil work.
 
2014-08-23 03:46:10 AM  
All this reboot out of Hollywood and no cameo filled Cannonball Run remake?
 
2014-08-23 03:56:44 AM  

ThisIsntMe: All this reboot out of Hollywood and no cameo filled Cannonball Run remake?


Somebody call Seth Rogen and James Franco and tell them we need this.
 
2014-08-23 04:02:12 AM  
Used to read the Destroyer series growing up (lawn off). The movie sucked. This will likely suck too.
 
2014-08-23 04:07:13 AM  

ThisIsntMe: All this reboot out of Hollywood and no cameo filled Cannonball Run remake?


We could get a black Trans Am...
padresteve.files.wordpress.com

...nah, that's been done.


Actually, there's a rumored "Cannonball Run" remake, but it's mainly just in the idea phase, with Guy Ritchie directing.
 
2014-08-23 04:18:18 AM  

LonMead: ThisIsntMe: All this reboot out of Hollywood and no cameo filled Cannonball Run remake?

We could get a black Trans Am...
[padresteve.files.wordpress.com image 239x211]

...nah, that's been done.

Actually, there's a rumored "Cannonball Run" remake, but it's mainly just in the idea phase, with Guy Ritchie directing.


Smokey and the Bandit should never be remade. I remember making my wife and her best friend watch it for the first time, 10 years ago or so, and their reactions were hilarious. Movie still holds up. Jackie Gleason killed. "There's no way, no way that you came from my loins. Soon as I get home, first thing I'm gonna do is punch yo mamma in the mouth." farking classic.

/he only takes his hat off for one thing
//and that one thing is pounding Sally Field in the poopshoot
\\\Because they were both super foul
////BANZAI!
 
2014-08-23 04:19:26 AM  
...not to mention Remo's Korean mentor Chiun, which should make it plenty attractive to the foreign box office.

Jesus Christ, I hope they were kidding here. If not, this is quite possibly the stupidest thing I have ever read regarding a movie.

As for the movie this may be one that I wouldn't mind a remake on... It was fun, but something was missing.
 
2014-08-23 04:26:09 AM  

Mikey1969: ...not to mention Remo's Korean mentor Chiun, which should make it plenty attractive to the foreign box office.

Jesus Christ, I hope they were kidding here. If not, this is quite possibly the stupidest thing I have ever read regarding a movie.

As for the movie this may be one that I wouldn't mind a remake on... It was fun, but something was missing.


The Chinese cut of Iron Man 3 featured all kinds of footage pandering to the local crowds. There were a few people calling it out, but by most accounts, they loved it.

It's the natural evolution of the magical negro.

/also, old asian dudes are super-wise
//squish, just like grip
\\\aaah, sooo!
 
2014-08-23 04:28:48 AM  
Is nobody going to mention that the article fails to mention the (failed) TV pilot later released to cable as a "sequel"?

No matter what your opinion of the original film, it is The Godfather or  Citizen Kane compared to that abortion.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0236677/?ref_=fn_al_tt_2
 
2014-08-23 04:35:45 AM  

wildcardjack: Could be worse. They could try to do another Exorcist movie.

And it's not that bad a movie. It's Syfy grade filmography and acting was a bit weak for the mid 80s. In fact, the short novels it's based on could make a USA or CW series, although that was more my dad's favorite.


short novels? The Destroyer books are over 180 now and I think they still making new stories
 
2014-08-23 04:39:41 AM  

Lenny_da_Hog: That's a pretty tasteless headline this soon after his suicide.


I read it the same way.
 
2014-08-23 04:47:17 AM  
Recall seeing a thread about McDonald's food and someone shopped Joel Grey's Chiun commenting the carton would be better to eat. Funny, that. Wish I grabbed it.
 
2014-08-23 05:04:02 AM  
They already remade Cannonball Run.  It was called Rat Race.
 
2014-08-23 05:12:03 AM  

ThisIsntMe: All this reboot out of Hollywood and no cameo filled Cannonball Run remake?


Hollywood is probably just afraid that Burt would insist on starring.
 
2014-08-23 05:13:00 AM  
Emo Williams, I could start an adventure again, but what's the point? we're all going to die someday...
 
2014-08-23 05:18:07 AM  
just in case anyone has forgot about the quality of that movie, here is that last two minutes of it.

link
 
2014-08-23 05:41:04 AM  
Re-Remo Williams: Mo Better Mo Harder Blues -The Double Mo-ening
 
2014-08-23 05:51:37 AM  

jim90291: slayer199: Remo Williams was not a good film, but still fun because of Joel Grey (and I like Fred Ward as a supporting actor).  Its kind of a guilty pleasure of mine because I know it's not a film.

a) you're totally wrong about the first part.  it was great, and it was the 80's so give it a friggin break.

b) you're even more wrong about Joel Grey.  that performance was almost as borderline offensive as Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany's.

// wanna try for strike 3?


Hey do you know how hard it was to find an Asian actor in American in the 80s? Well not that hard but still.
 
2014-08-23 06:01:59 AM  
As long as Michael Bay isn't part of the project, I'm down.

/Michael Bay SUCKS
 
2014-08-23 06:02:58 AM  
Remo Williams: You know, Chiun, you're a real pain in the ass.

Chiun: That is because it is the fastest way to your brain.

/lots of good one-liners in that flick
 
2014-08-23 06:05:05 AM  
The books are pulp awesomeness. Shane Black is about the only guy who can pull it off.
 
2014-08-23 06:21:32 AM  
His name was Remo and he was going to be in a movie.

(I do have to wonder how much of Chiun's racism and sexism they can get away with these days)
 
2014-08-23 07:03:09 AM  

Son of Thunder: His name was Remo and he was going to be in a movie.

(I do have to wonder how much of Chiun's racism and sexism they can get away with these days)


None!

Definitely as offensive as Mickey Rooney in BaT. I know...I know...as a teenager in the 80s I loved Remo, but that type of "acting" should never be allowed again. I'm ok with them finding a Korean actor with comedic timing though.

Also...I WANT A NEW BUCKAROO BANZAI MOVIE!!
 
2014-08-23 07:03:52 AM  

jim90291: slayer199: Remo Williams was not a good film, but still fun because of Joel Grey (and I like Fred Ward as a supporting actor).  Its kind of a guilty pleasure of mine because I know it's not a film.

a) you're totally wrong about the first part.  it was great, and it was the 80's so give it a friggin break.

b) you're even more wrong about Joel Grey.  that performance was almost as borderline offensive as Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany's.

// wanna try for strike 3?


"Women should stay home and make babies. Preferably, man-child"

I think that about covers it.
 
2014-08-23 07:06:29 AM  

BubbaJones: Son of Thunder: His name was Remo and he was going to be in a movie.

(I do have to wonder how much of Chiun's racism and sexism they can get away with these days)

None!

Definitely as offensive as Mickey Rooney in BaT. I know...I know...as a teenager in the 80s I loved Remo, but that type of "acting" should never be allowed again. I'm ok with them finding a Korean actor with comedic timing though.

Also...I WANT A NEW BUCKAROO BANZAI MOVIE!!


The original had such a strange cast, I have no idea how they'd match it today.
 
2014-08-23 07:13:25 AM  

Hyatus: They already remade Cannonball Run.  It was called Rat Race.


No, Rat Race was a remake of It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World
 
2014-08-23 07:25:40 AM  

MmmmBacon: Alphax: whither_apophis: gaslight: Christ. No. No. No. No. No.

You move like a yak with two club feet.

All I remember of that movie was the insulting teacher.

What, you don't remember Remo hanging precariously from the scaffolding around the Statue of Liberty? Yeah, that's about all I remember myself, and I watched it again just last month.


There were so many good scenes.

Remo leaping on poles around the house

Teacher running on the water to meet the boat

Remo running on wet concrete to escape the baddies

The gas mask scene, including using a guy's diamond dental implant to scratch the glass.
 
2014-08-23 07:26:02 AM  
You know, you *say* you want a Cannonball Run remake, but do you really want Snooki and Farrah Abraham in a Huracan unzipping their jumpsuits to impress Officer Poncharello while David Hasslehoff honks from his Trans-Am racing by?
 
2014-08-23 07:28:39 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: You know, you *say* you want a Cannonball Run remake, but do you really want Snooki and Farrah Abraham in a Huracan unzipping their jumpsuits to impress Officer Poncharello while David Hasslehoff honks from his Trans-Am racing by?


Hmm.. sorta-want..
 
2014-08-23 07:32:57 AM  
This is just a confidence trick invented by the Swiss.
 
2014-08-23 07:36:28 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: You know, you *say* you want a Cannonball Run remake, but do you really want Snooki and Farrah Abraham in a Huracan unzipping their jumpsuits to impress Officer Poncharello while David Hasslehoff honks from his Trans-Am racing by?



Make it Jessica Alba and Kate Upton in a Zonda, but I have no problem with The Hoff in a Trans-Am
 
2014-08-23 07:51:34 AM  

Archie Goodwin: This is just a confidence trick invented by the Swiss.


With glasses, I see...more of what you did there.
 
2014-08-23 07:52:31 AM  

BubbaJones: Also...I WANT A NEW BUCKAROO BANZAI MOVIE!!


Why is there a watermelon there?
 
2014-08-23 07:57:53 AM  
i posted this in another thread the other day:

"i love the movie remo williams, and last year i found some destroyer books at a yard sale and picked them up.  i tried to read one and it was godawful.  it was offensively bad.  it was about remo and chun working as bodyguards for some chinese woman, and a quarter of the way into the book, remo williams straight up rapes her and she immediately falls in love with him after that.  reading it actually made me sick to my stomach it was so awful and misogynist."

the original movie with fred ward is pretty tame by comparison.  it has a strong female costar who doesn't act like a damsel in distress even though remo does save her life, and remo doesn't act like a misogynist asshole in the movie.  chun is still sexist but in a deliberately over-the-top kind of way, so they could probably still get away with it.

they should get jackie chan to play chun.  that might work, even though chun is supposed to be korean.  brendan gleeson with a white beard could play wilford brimley's role.  and its obvious who would play remo williams in the new movie:  jason statham.
 
2014-08-23 08:05:43 AM  

LonMead: BubbaJones: Also...I WANT A NEW BUCKAROO BANZAI MOVIE!!

Why is there a watermelon there?


I'll tell you later.
 
2014-08-23 08:06:17 AM  

enderthexenocide: i posted this in another thread the other day:

"i love the movie remo williams, and last year i found some destroyer books at a yard sale and picked them up.  i tried to read one and it was godawful.  it was offensively bad.  it was about remo and chun working as bodyguards for some chinese woman, and a quarter of the way into the book, remo williams straight up rapes her and she immediately falls in love with him after that.  reading it actually made me sick to my stomach it was so awful and misogynist."

the original movie with fred ward is pretty tame by comparison.  it has a strong female costar who doesn't act like a damsel in distress even though remo does save her life, and remo doesn't act like a misogynist asshole in the movie.  chun is still sexist but in a deliberately over-the-top kind of way, so they could probably still get away with it.

they should get jackie chan to play chun.  that might work, even though chun is supposed to be korean.  brendan gleeson with a white beard could play wilford brimley's role.  and its obvious who would play remo williams in the new movie:  jason statham.


I say cast a woman in the Chuin role ala Starbucks and turn the whole misogynistic aspect upside down. RWtAB has always been one of my favorite so bad it's good movies. Fanboy sqeeeeeeeeeeeee!
 
2014-08-23 08:21:35 AM  

MmmmBacon: Alphax: whither_apophis: gaslight: Christ. No. No. No. No. No.

You move like a yak with two club feet.

All I remember of that movie was the insulting teacher.

What, you don't remember Remo hanging precariously from the scaffolding around the Statue of Liberty? Yeah, that's about all I remember myself, and I watched it again just last month.


My favorite scene was where he uses the guy's diamond tooth to cut the glass, then when he goes to jump through it, it shatters before he hits it.
 
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