If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Daily Mail)   Attorney from the law firm of Romero, Romero, and Romero fears his triple-murderer client's horns and '666' tattoo might work against him in court   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 70
    More: Obvious  
•       •       •

6588 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Aug 2014 at 10:06 PM (4 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



70 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-08-22 09:36:41 PM
www.troll.me
 
2014-08-22 10:04:26 PM
So... The identifying markings could bias a jury because he's positively identified in this case.

If you're going to commit crimes it helps to be non-descript. A real run-of-thre-mill look, as vague as a psychic prediction.
 
2014-08-22 10:07:56 PM
He should ask for trial by fiddle.
 
2014-08-22 10:11:36 PM

Yea because when you look like this, you should pretty much assume that this is an innocent guy:


ww1.hdnux.com

 
2014-08-22 10:14:48 PM

skinink: Yea because when you look like this, you should pretty much assume that this is an innocent guy:
[ww1.hdnux.com image 784x877]


I imagine it probably has more to do with the material witness descriptions being  really, really easy to verify as a positive ID.  Unless they can prove that there are other people in the same area running about with the same ink.
 
2014-08-22 10:17:30 PM
Wolfram and Hart would be unfazed by these developments.
 
2014-08-22 10:18:15 PM
at least he shaved
 
2014-08-22 10:23:17 PM
Suddenly I have a headache
 
2014-08-22 10:25:15 PM
Wow. Subtle!
 
2014-08-22 10:26:21 PM
 I couldn't be on the jury. I'd spend the whole trial pointing at him, laughing, all WTF is THAT??????
 
2014-08-22 10:27:06 PM
Yet another person that has spent more money on body alterations than education.
 
2014-08-22 10:30:57 PM
There's probably no worse look than "Satan with facial tats" when going before a jury.  Maybe add a half-eaten baby hanging out of your mouth if you want an even faster trial.
 
2014-08-22 10:33:51 PM
Cute.  Any word on if he had any hits on his e-Harmony profile?
 
TWX
2014-08-22 10:34:35 PM
*blink*

*blink*

Wow. It's bad enough when someone dresses to fit in with thug culture, but if they haven't tattooed themelves like crazy they can usually be made to look normal. There is nothing to be done here.

I really feel for the lawyer. He has no chance in hell.

/never have I said those words before!
 
2014-08-22 10:35:21 PM
Sure, persecute the guy for his religion. After all, that's how we do things today in Obama's America.
 
TWX
2014-08-22 10:37:08 PM

with great power comes great insanity: Sure, persecute the guy for his religion. After all, that's how we do things today in Obama's America.


Hey, it's not society's fault that the jury deliberation time will be a negative number...
 
2014-08-22 10:37:21 PM

Prey4reign: Cute.  Any word on if he had any hits on his e-Harmony profile?


Oh crap what a genius idea.

I'm so spending tomorrow on OKCupid building a profile around this guy's pic.
 
2014-08-22 10:37:56 PM

lordjupiter: There's probably no worse look than "Satan with facial tats" when going before a jury.  Maybe add a half-eaten baby hanging out of your mouth if you want an even faster trial.


Foreman: "We, the jury, do hereby find the defendant guilty"

Judge: "Can you at least let the prosecutor finish his opening remarks please?"
 
2014-08-22 10:44:06 PM

Pribar: lordjupiter: There's probably no worse look than "Satan with facial tats" when going before a jury.  Maybe add a half-eaten baby hanging out of your mouth if you want an even faster trial.

Foreman: "We, the jury, do hereby find the defendant guilty"

Judge: "Can you at least let the prosecutor finish his opening remarks please?"


They have to impanel the jury first.

"Do you have anything against people who, say, worship Satan and have horns?"
 
2014-08-22 10:46:45 PM

with great power comes great insanity: Sure, persecute the guy for his religion. After all, that's how we do things today in Obama's America.


On the contrary.

The Yazidi people Obama is protecting Iraq are reputed devil worshipers. That's why ISIS is trying to wipe them out.

Isn't this guy in the UK though?
 
2014-08-22 10:47:23 PM

with great power comes great insanity: Prey4reign: Cute.  Any word on if he had any hits on his e-Harmony profile?

Oh crap what a genius idea.

I'm so spending tomorrow on OKCupid building a profile around this guy's pic.


Pre-vampire name is Roy Gulfinski Jr..
 
2014-08-22 10:52:54 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-08-22 10:54:29 PM
It does make the "mistaken identity" defense difficult to sell.
 
2014-08-22 10:57:36 PM
Those look less like horns and more like someone used his forehead to play "symphony for a ball peen hammer"
 
2014-08-22 10:58:08 PM

with great power comes great insanity: Prey4reign: Cute.  Any word on if he had any hits on his e-Harmony profile?

Oh crap what a genius idea.

I'm so spending tomorrow on OKCupid building a profile around this guy's pic.


PoF would be a better choice, because the responses would totally deserve their own Fark thread.

Either way, you have to share.
 
2014-08-22 10:58:37 PM
Won't he just spontaneously combust when they make him put his hand on the bible?
 
2014-08-22 11:00:02 PM

Pribar: Those look less like horns and more like someone used his forehead to play "symphony for a ball peen hammer"


What do you suppose goes on in a guy's head when he decides looking like that is a really terrific idea?
 
2014-08-22 11:00:56 PM

Brian_of_Nazareth: with great power comes great insanity: Prey4reign: Cute.  Any word on if he had any hits on his e-Harmony profile?

Oh crap what a genius idea.

I'm so spending tomorrow on OKCupid building a profile around this guy's pic.

PoF would be a better choice, because the responses would totally deserve their own Fark thread.

Either way, you have to share.


I would, but it would never get greened here.
 
2014-08-22 11:04:36 PM

Brian_of_Nazareth: with great power comes great insanity: Prey4reign: Cute.  Any word on if he had any hits on his e-Harmony profile?

Oh crap what a genius idea.

I'm so spending tomorrow on OKCupid building a profile around this guy's pic.

PoF would be a better choice, because the responses would totally deserve their own Fark thread.

Either way, you have to share.


Plus his beard just isn't bushy enough for okcupid.
 
2014-08-22 11:04:43 PM

Baz744: Pribar: Those look less like horns and more like someone used his forehead to play "symphony for a ball peen hammer"

What do you suppose goes on in a guy's head when he decides looking like that is a really terrific idea?


If there was anything going on in his head he wouldn't be sitting there on trial for murder with lumps on his noggin and a bone through his nose...
 
2014-08-22 11:04:54 PM

audiblesmile: Won't he just spontaneously combust when they make him put his hand on the bible?


Maybe. But if he's powerful enough, the Bible will instead.
 
2014-08-22 11:05:54 PM

Baz744: with great power comes great insanity: Sure, persecute the guy for his religion. After all, that's how we do things today in Obama's America.

On the contrary.

The Yazidi people Obama is protecting Iraq are reputed devil worshipers. That's why ISIS is trying to wipe them out.

Isn't this guy in the UK though?


They actually have an interesting syncretic religion. "Shaitan" to them is like an archangel loved by God. It raises interesting questions about the biblical story of the devil.

Then again they're the ones who stone their own daughters to death for talking to anyone not of their religion.
 
2014-08-22 11:09:31 PM

Baz744: audiblesmile: Won't he just spontaneously combust when they make him put his hand on the bible?

Maybe. But if he's powerful enough, the Bible will instead.


He will probably request a copy of A. Crowleys The Book of the Law, just to keep in theme
 
2014-08-22 11:15:26 PM
i57.tinypic.com

i57.tinypic.com

i60.tinypic.com

i57.tinypic.com
"I'm not."
 
2014-08-22 11:19:42 PM

Pribar: Baz744: audiblesmile: Won't he just spontaneously combust when they make him put his hand on the bible?

Maybe. But if he's powerful enough, the Bible will instead.

He will probably request a copy of A. Crowleys The Book of the Law, just to keep in theme


I'd have to award him some style points for that.
 
2014-08-22 11:21:53 PM

Pribar: Baz744: audiblesmile: Won't he just spontaneously combust when they make him put his hand on the bible?

Maybe. But if he's powerful enough, the Bible will instead.

He will probably request a copy of A. Crowleys The Book of the Law, just to keep in theme


Nah, my bet is a copy of Motorhead's "Ace of Spades".
 
2014-08-22 11:23:40 PM

with great power comes great insanity: . It raises interesting questions about the biblical story of the devil.


What kinds of questions?
 
2014-08-22 11:31:58 PM

Baz744: with great power comes great insanity: . It raises interesting questions about the biblical story of the devil.

What kinds of questions?

Four Lumps or Five?


www.chadfrye.com
 
2014-08-22 11:46:14 PM
"Horns? Oh no, your honor, this is just Phase One of my transformation into a Klingon. Those? Those aren't sixes, they're marking where the next set of forehead ridges will go. So you see, I'm actually totally normal."
 
2014-08-22 11:46:50 PM

Baz744: with great power comes great insanity: . It raises interesting questions about the biblical story of the devil.

What kinds of questions?


Well, going by Wikipedia, the Yezidi story says Shaitan was an angel created by God out of his own essence, and God told Shaitan to never bow to anyone but Him.

Then when God created man, he told the angels to bow, and Shaitan didn't. God asked why, and Shaitan said "because you made that crap out of clay and me out of your own essence. You told me to only bow to you, so I refuse to bow to man."

Then God congratulates Shaitan for being the only angel with any smarts and makes him ruler of Earth.

Or something like that. Look it up if you want more.

The question is: was this the original story? Is the biblical narrative that Christians know actually a later corrupted version? If so, why did the Jews feel the need to change the story?
 
2014-08-22 11:59:15 PM
You wanted to like a psychotic ax murderer? Well you got your wish. Deal with it.
 
2014-08-23 12:01:48 AM
They'll need a bigger Jury box to accommodate 12 seeing eye dogs.
 
2014-08-23 12:02:03 AM

with great power comes great insanity: Baz744: with great power comes great insanity: . It raises interesting questions about the biblical story of the devil.

What kinds of questions?

Well, going by Wikipedia, the Yezidi story says Shaitan was an angel created by God out of his own essence, and God told Shaitan to never bow to anyone but Him.

Then when God created man, he told the angels to bow, and Shaitan didn't. God asked why, and Shaitan said "because you made that crap out of clay and me out of your own essence. You told me to only bow to you, so I refuse to bow to man."

Then God congratulates Shaitan for being the only angel with any smarts and makes him ruler of Earth.

Or something like that. Look it up if you want more.

The question is: was this the original story? Is the biblical narrative that Christians know actually a later corrupted version? If so, why did the Jews feel the need to change the story?


Well, first of all, folklorically, the Jewish tale (Genesis) came first, so the real question would be, is the Yazidi story based on an older myth (Mesopotamian? Akkadian?)? The Christian version is next, and then the Muslim variant (since the Koran was only written down  in about 700 AD).

As to why, all religions adjust older religious tales to make their own gods superior over the ones they replace; that's why so many feature gods and demigods having to slay dragons/monsters to claim some birthright or holy spot. (Best example is how Apollo took over the shrine at Delphi) So we can assume that the Yazidi myth was based on an older version of a polytheistic religion where the father-god created "shaitan" who was the wisest demigod and ruled the earth, until he/she was overthrown by whatever god was worshipped by the proto-Hebrews.

Then when the Judaic religion was more fully established, "Satan" became an adversarial figure who persecuted humans (no longer the wise ruler, but a wise punisher as in Job); and eventually an evil deceiver in the New Testament. Yet another good reason why the Bible should never be read as anything but a collection of mythologies.
 
2014-08-23 12:08:09 AM
That personal ad for him should really go on christianmingle.com.
 
2014-08-23 12:13:52 AM
Actually, I could do this jury duty without a problem.

I have no tattoos, no piercings, and certainly no implants.

But I have a friend who has probably a pound of metal in his face.  He's a really nice guy, wouldn't ever hurt anyone.  I'm not going to hold a few bits of implanted weird against anybody.
 
2014-08-23 12:18:07 AM

Keys dude: That personal ad for him should really go on christianmingle.com.


That's just trolling.

Okcupid is where you find the most people whose weight, psychological difficulties and/or physical problems would make them likely to give a guy with that face a try.
 
2014-08-23 12:18:19 AM
Attorney from the law firm of Romero, Romero, and Romero fears his triple-murderer client's horns and '666' tattoo might work against him in court

Actually it will work for him.  Just not in the way he would hope.
 
2014-08-23 12:18:39 AM
That man is not going to have an easy time of it in prison.
 
2014-08-23 12:21:20 AM

insertsnarkyusername: That man is not going to have an easy time of it in prison.


if the skinheads reject him he will convert to Islam.  Seems to be the thing to do for those needing protection these days.
 
2014-08-23 12:41:51 AM

Keys dude: That personal ad for him should really go on christianmingle.com.


I was thinking farmersonly.com.

/+1 for the trolling idea, that could be fun.
 
Displayed 50 of 70 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report