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(Juneau Empire)   A Lightsaber: an elegant weapon for a more civilized age. Or a suspicious object on the side of the road that draws the bomb squad, either way   ( juneauempire.com) divider line
    More: Stupid, lightsabers, Mendenhall Valley  
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2924 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Aug 2014 at 4:49 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



20 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-08-22 01:55:07 PM  
Keep farking that America, Chickens.
 
2014-08-22 02:14:45 PM  
So uncivilized ...
 
2014-08-22 04:14:42 PM  
The only proper reaction to anything unknown is pants-wetting fear

/home of the brave, indeed
 
2014-08-22 04:18:36 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2014-08-22 04:56:44 PM  

vudukungfu: Keep farking that America, Chickens.

Kalwara noted the person who reported the device did not call 911 - he or she used the JPD business line.


I would say that it was a measured call, and response to a non-situation.
 
2014-08-22 05:03:36 PM  
refriedscreens.comView Full Size

weknowmemes.comView Full Size

That should cover it...
 
2014-08-22 05:06:32 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2014-08-22 05:08:12 PM  
I'm missing the pants-wetting part.

was the area evacuated?  were local businesses closed?  did nearby schools go into lockdown?

answer key: no, no, and no

(full disclosure -- Juneau resident)
 
2014-08-22 05:12:43 PM  
In the future people won't need an electric knife to carve the turkey.

beawesomeinstead.comView Full Size
 
2014-08-22 05:16:14 PM  
To be fair, it has been done...

http://swfanon.wikia.com/wiki/Lightsaber_bomb
 
2014-08-22 05:19:16 PM  
Alaska trifecta in play...
 
2014-08-22 05:36:11 PM  
Light sabers look nothing like pipe bombs.  For one thing the bright, 3 foot blade of light should really be a tip off.
 
2014-08-22 05:38:21 PM  
FTA: The confusion may have been in part because the plastic, expandable lightsaber was taped to a stick and found in the closed position, she said.

Some poor child has lost their light saber polearm?
 
2014-08-22 05:42:49 PM  
Somewhere in Alaska an amateur big foot proctologist is missing his tools.
 
2014-08-22 05:45:59 PM  

skyotter: I'm missing the pants-wetting part.

was the area evacuated?  were local businesses closed?  did nearby schools go into lockdown?

answer key: no, no, and no

(full disclosure -- Juneau resident)


I did over-generalize in my disgust of what our society has come to, and for that I apologize

/but there was still no real reason to report it at all IMO
 
2014-08-22 06:08:53 PM  
FTA:  "In the person's defense, lightsabers are a dangerous weapon. Just ask Luke."

The Juneau Empire strikes back.
 
2014-08-22 06:12:54 PM  
ShapeShift3r
To be fair, it has been done...
http://swfanon.wikia.com/wiki/Lightsaber_bomb


Now the NSA will be tracking you as a Jedi of interest.
 
2014-08-22 06:54:11 PM  

zulius: [refriedscreens.com image 300x261]
[weknowmemes.com image 300x202]
That should cover it...


i291.photobucket.comView Full Size
 
2014-08-22 10:20:19 PM  
FARK: draws the bomb squad
FTA: dispatched an officer who specializes in Explosive Ordnance Disposal

It's Juneau, AK.  Population: 32,556.  To put in perspective the NYPD has 34k uniformed officers.  New York City has more cops than Juneau has people.

Thus they don't so much have a 'Bomb Squad' as an ex-military EOD guy who's a cop most of the time, but called in whenever there's something suspicious.
 
2014-08-22 11:21:56 PM  
Wanted for questioning.
s13.postimg.orgView Full Size


Thanks Obama!
s10.postimg.orgView Full Size
 
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