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(CNN)   Cool: Doctor treated in Atlanta for Ebola well enough to be released from hospital. FARK: "There is a slight possibility that the virus could linger for up to three months in his semen"   (cnn.com) divider line 41
    More: Followup, Ebola, isolation unit, Franklin Graham, samaritan, Nancy Writebol, Emory University Hospital  
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652 clicks; posted to Geek » on 21 Aug 2014 at 12:39 PM (39 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



41 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-08-21 12:02:19 PM  
So, no trips to the Gold Club or the Pink Pony for a while, then?
 
2014-08-21 12:12:46 PM  
Great. He jerks off, shakes hands with somebody, and we all get The Plague.
 
2014-08-21 12:15:13 PM  
So, he has to register his d*ck as a deadly weapon?
 
2014-08-21 12:16:38 PM  
Dr. Eboladick will see you now.
 
2014-08-21 12:33:39 PM  
The article linked as the source of the assertion about the semen isn't to any scientific evidence. It's a story about  another individual survivor, and just makes the same assertion without citation:

While it is safe for Abdullah to interact with others in his community, he will have to take some precautions when it comes to his bodily fluids, as the virus can remain there for at least three months. For example, he will have to use condoms to ensure that he doesn't pass the virus to his wife.

This is how casual comments get solidified into "general knowledge".
 
2014-08-21 12:41:00 PM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: Great. He jerks off, shakes hands with somebody, and we all get The Plague.


If he's a doctor, i hope he washes his hands thuroughly after he jerks off.
 
2014-08-21 12:42:27 PM  
Sounds like a SyFY movie. What will be the title?
 
2014-08-21 12:44:22 PM  
Fortunately, his wife's fetish happens to be a HazMat suit.
 
2014-08-21 12:45:21 PM  

Bermuda59: Sounds like a SyFY movie. What will be the title?


Ebolaballs
 
2014-08-21 12:47:04 PM  

Bermuda59: Sounds like a SyFY movie. What will be the title?


Ebolanado
 
2014-08-21 12:48:11 PM  
That's nice.
 
2014-08-21 12:48:15 PM  

MrBallou: The article linked as the source of the assertion about the semen isn't to any scientific evidence. It's a story about  another individual survivor, and just makes the same assertion without citation:

While it is safe for Abdullah to interact with others in his community, he will have to take some precautions when it comes to his bodily fluids, as the virus can remain there for at least three months. For example, he will have to use condoms to ensure that he doesn't pass the virus to his wife.

This is how casual comments get solidified into "general knowledge".


...and how do you want to conclusively prove this assertion?  Give some volunteers Ebola and then do serial tests of their body fluids to see how long it takes to clear the virus?  There's already a pretty good cohort reported on in 1999 (emphasis in bold mine):

"Clinical, virologic, and immunologic follow-up of convalescent Ebola hemorrhagic fever patients and their household contacts, Kikwit, Democratic Republic of the Congo. Commission de Lutte contre les Epidémies à Kikwit, by Rowe et al, J Infect Dis. 1999;179 Suppl 1:S28

A cohort of convalescent Ebola hemorrhagic fever (EHF) patients and their household contacts (HHCs) were studied prospectively to determine if convalescent body fluids contain Ebola virus and if secondary transmission occurs during convalescence. Twenty-nine EHF convalescents and 152 HHCs were monitored for up to 21 months. Blood specimens were obtained and symptom information was collected from convalescents and their HHCs; other body fluid specimens were also obtained from convalescents. Arthralgias and myalgia were reported significantly more often by convalescents than HHCs. Evidence of Ebola virus was detected by reverse transcription-polymerase chain reaction in semen specimens up to 91 days after disease onset; however, these and all other non-blood body fluids tested negative by virus isolation. Among 81 initially antibody negative HHCs, none became antibody positive. Blood specimens of 5 HHCs not identified as EHF patients were initially antibody positive. No direct evidence of convalescent-to-HHC transmission of EHF was found, although the semen of convalescents may be infectious. The existence of initially antibody-positive HHCs suggests that mild cases of Ebola virus infection occurred and that the full extent of the EHF epidemic was probably underestimated."
 
2014-08-21 12:48:20 PM  
I'll chip in an astroglide/webporn fund to help him get it out of his system in an expedited  rate, asap, stat.

Actually, I don't have PayPay, so maybe I better just send him an Amazon Gift certificate instead.

Where's his wishlist....
 
2014-08-21 12:49:23 PM  
.....no  sugar tonight, in my coffee
.....no sugar tonight in my tea.
.....ebola standing beside me.
......it'll come out where I pee...
 
2014-08-21 12:49:26 PM  

Bermuda59: Sounds like a SyFY movie. What will be the title?


Rosy Palms and the Ebola Sisters
 
2014-08-21 12:52:30 PM  

meat0918: Bermuda59: Sounds like a SyFY movie. What will be the title?

Rosy Palms and the Ebola Sisters


Ebolaejaculatenado...
 
2014-08-21 12:57:06 PM  
He was cleared by Dr. Petty, who advised him, "Don't cum around here no more."
 
2014-08-21 01:02:32 PM  

docmattic: No direct evidence of convalescent-to-HHC transmission of EHF was found, although the semen of convalescents may be infectious. The existence of initially antibody-positive HHCs suggests that mild cases of Ebola virus infection occurred


A mild case conferring immunity?  That sounds like the plot of a bad porno.

"The good news is that we've found an Ebola vaccine.   The bad news is who you'll have to do to get it"

/I can see you asking "Pornos have plots?"
 
2014-08-21 01:02:57 PM  
Good for him. Im just thankful he can continue to enjoy his life and get back to interacting with his friends family and patients as soon as possible. Im sure everything will be fine from now on. Really. Whats the worst that could happen?
 
2014-08-21 01:05:32 PM  
TALK ABOUT A VIRAL LOAD, RIGHT GUYS?


GUYS?
 
2014-08-21 01:08:05 PM  
"I have to masturbate constantly.  The doctor said so."

And at some point I'll make a joke about the article as well . . .
 
2014-08-21 01:08:43 PM  

docmattic: MrBallou: The article linked as the source of the assertion about the semen isn't to any scientific evidence. It's a story about  another individual survivor, and just makes the same assertion without citation:

While it is safe for Abdullah to interact with others in his community, he will have to take some precautions when it comes to his bodily fluids, as the virus can remain there for at least three months. For example, he will have to use condoms to ensure that he doesn't pass the virus to his wife.

This is how casual comments get solidified into "general knowledge".

...and how do you want to conclusively prove this assertion?  Give some volunteers Ebola and then do serial tests of their body fluids to see how long it takes to clear the virus?  There's already a pretty good cohort reported on in 1999 (emphasis in bold mine):

"Clinical, virologic, and immunologic follow-up of convalescent Ebola hemorrhagic fever patients and their household contacts, Kikwit, Democratic Republic of the Congo. Commission de Lutte contre les Epidémies à Kikwit, by Rowe et al, J Infect Dis. 1999;179 Suppl 1:S28

A cohort of convalescent Ebola hemorrhagic fever (EHF) patients and their household contacts (HHCs) were studied prospectively to determine if convalescent body fluids contain Ebola virus and if secondary transmission occurs during convalescence. Twenty-nine EHF convalescents and 152 HHCs were monitored for up to 21 months. Blood specimens were obtained and symptom information was collected from convalescents and their HHCs; other body fluid specimens were also obtained from convalescents. Arthralgias and myalgia were reported significantly more often by convalescents than HHCs. Evidence of Ebola virus was detected by reverse transcription-polymerase chain reaction in semen specimens up to 91 days after disease onset; however, these and all other non-blood body fluids tested negative by virus isolation. Among 81 initially antibody negative HHCs, none became antibody posit ...


Now THAT'S a citation. Thank you, good sir.

Sounds like some DNA is detectable by PCR but no viable viruses at all. Of course, you'd want to play safe, but I can see why they declare them non-contagious at that point.
 
2014-08-21 01:09:02 PM  
"Writebol said, 'To God be the glory,'"

And not to the teams of scientists and doctors who developed and administered the treatment that saved her life. How much do you want to bet that she donates more to churches than to scientific research?
 
2014-08-21 01:39:49 PM  
They told him he'd have to stop masturbating. When he asked why, they replied "Because we're trying to examine you."
 
2014-08-21 01:45:01 PM  
First time in history a gym sock could be considered a deadly weapon.
 
2014-08-21 02:28:53 PM  

Bermuda59: Sounds like a SyFY movie. What will be the title?


Spermageddon
 
2014-08-21 02:34:45 PM  
Someone needs to put a big red E on him.
 
2014-08-21 03:02:14 PM  
Purell for lub?  Owwwww.
 
2014-08-21 03:20:49 PM  
Reminds me of a line from Liquid Sky: "I'm a killer coont..."

Guess he's a Deadly Dick now.

/"Ebolaballs" = LOL
 
2014-08-21 03:45:40 PM  
No jiggy jiggy for you Mr. Ebola
 
2014-08-21 05:03:15 PM  
"What are you doing in the bathroom?"

"Saving humanity."
 
2014-08-21 05:20:23 PM  
Time to jerk off like a madman into a bowl of bleach. That should speed things up.
 
2014-08-21 05:33:44 PM  
Someone give that man a hand!  amiright?
 
2014-08-21 06:13:26 PM  
Great. Yet another excuse a woman will give not to swallow.
 
2014-08-21 07:43:08 PM  
Dr. Nobolalowjob
 
2014-08-21 07:55:16 PM  
This is the guy who is thanking God for saving him.  Not all those people who helped him while he was in Africa, or who flew him to Atlanta, or at the CDC, or the people at the company who developed ZMapp.  No, it was all God pulling their strings apparently, might as well thank the source.

Wait... so why did God make Ebola happen, or have that one healer lady spread the infection to hundreds of people who have since died?
 
2014-08-21 09:37:03 PM  

Bacontastesgood: This is the guy who is thanking God for saving him. Not all those people who helped him while he was in Africa, or who flew him to Atlanta, or at the CDC, or the people at the company who developed ZMapp. No, it was all God pulling their strings apparently, might as well thank the source.


I just RTFA, and this is kind of unfair.  It got reported in the paper because someone  heard the female missionary say that as she strolled out of a room.   It's not like they gave a press conference and announced that as their opening or closing statement.  It might even be that she just spoke it into the air as if she was addressing god thankfully that she was walking out alive.

I think she can get a pass if this is correct.

/because she can thank those other people directly instead of depending on someone noticing she was apparently talking to herself.
 
2014-08-21 11:14:26 PM  

Vlad_the_Inaner: I just RTFA, and this is kind of unfair. It got reported in the paper because someone heard the female missionary say that as she strolled out of a room. It's not like they gave a press conference and announced that as their opening or closing statement. It might even be that she just spoke it into the air as if she was addressing god thankfully that she was walking out alive.I think she can get a pass if this is correct.


Since I said 'this is the guy' and the headline for this thread is about someone's semen being ebolaed, and women don't generate semen, I thought it was clear I was referring to Dr. Kent Brantly, but I will spell the whole name out for you just to be absolutely clear.  The woman missionary you are referring to is clearly not interested in talking to the public at this stage.  The "one healer lady" I was referring to, in case that confused you, was the herbal remedy idiot in Africa who is herself dead now.

Here is what Brantly said, publicly : "Above all, I am forever thankful to God for sparing my life."  And yes, it was actually a press conference and it was his closing statement.  So.... your move.
 
2014-08-22 04:15:46 AM  
Oh oh, I know this one!

"If he finds his way home, don't fark him!"

That's the punchline, right?
 
2014-08-22 07:40:05 AM  
Now, I'm no doctor. I don't have any degrees or credentials, but I'm pretty sure this is bad and as I recall, I'm always right.
 
2014-08-22 09:47:59 AM  

Bacontastesgood: Here is what Brantly said, publicly : "Above all, I am forever thankful to God for sparing my life." And yes, it was actually a press conference and it was his closing statement. So.... your move.


But this is what TFA said

"As she walked out of her isolation room Tuesday, Brantly recalls Writebol saying, 'To God be the glory.' "

So yes, that is covered under your description of thanking god, and Brantly was QUOTING it, not saying it.

It's is also the sole reference to god in TFA.

If CNN were reporting this conference you are thinking of, they wouldn't have used the direct quote?

your move.
 
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