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(Phoenix New Times)   Arizona Congresional candidate takes campaigning to maximum troll level by mailing condoms to pro-life voters   (blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing, James Woods, East Valley, sanctity of life, New Times  
•       •       •

2245 clicks; posted to Politics » on 21 Aug 2014 at 8:44 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



115 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2014-08-21 12:40:51 AM  
Pro-tip.  Don't staple them to the letterhead.
 
2014-08-21 12:49:23 AM  
Classy. There's gonna be some heads asploding in AZ.
 
2014-08-21 12:58:19 AM  
Ooh, piece of candy. Ooh, piece of candy. Ooh, piece of candy.
 
2014-08-21 02:11:43 AM  
Yeah, no Democrat is going to take Salmon's seat, but that was a brilliant response. And it got publicity.
 
2014-08-21 02:34:07 AM  
LOL!  that is a very nice bit of trolling right there.
 
2014-08-21 08:44:55 AM  
Classy and unambiguous.
 
2014-08-21 08:46:43 AM  
If they were ribbed for her pleasure it would have totally confounded them.
 
2014-08-21 08:50:06 AM  
Do they know what they are used for?
I fear we will see a lot of school lunches wrapped in those things.
 
2014-08-21 08:50:25 AM  

mcmnky: Ooh, piece of candy. Ooh, piece of candy. Ooh, piece of candy.


"Why did this demmy-crat mail me chewing gum?"
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-08-21 08:52:18 AM  
Dick move...I like it.
 
2014-08-21 08:53:43 AM  
If "pro life" people actually wanted to prevent abortion, they'd pomote contraception, oral and anal sex.
 
2014-08-21 08:55:32 AM  
Why is this mysoginist telling women how to have sex?
 
2014-08-21 08:55:49 AM  

mrshowrules: Pro-tip.  Don't staple them to the letterhead.



No, please do. I may force them to engage in even more hypocrisy.
 
2014-08-21 08:57:40 AM  
My politco Father in law has a pack of Viagra signed by Bob Dole. I'm going to see if I can get a campaign condom signed for a Christmas gift.
 
2014-08-21 09:01:47 AM  
Hero tag unavailable?

That's awesome!
 
hej
2014-08-21 09:03:27 AM  

give me doughnuts: mrshowrules: Pro-tip.  Don't staple them to the letterhead.


No, please do. I may force them to engage in even more hypocrisy.


There's no such thing as having too many kids as far as religious conservatives are concerned.
 
2014-08-21 09:07:18 AM  

hej: give me doughnuts: mrshowrules: Pro-tip.  Don't staple them to the letterhead.


No, please do. I may force them to engage in even more hypocrisy.

There's no such thing as having too many kids as far as religious conservatives are concerned.


'Be fruitful and multiply!'  'God wasn't talking to you!'
 
2014-08-21 09:08:08 AM  
Ha
 
2014-08-21 09:08:39 AM  
Apparently he is not familiar with the "every sperm is scared" stance of the fundies.

//God be striking thee down with lightning for spilled seed.
 
hej
2014-08-21 09:09:06 AM  
James Woods, Blind, Atheist Congressional Candidate

I kinda want to mail this guy money, even though I don't live in Arizona and he's got a snowballs chance in hell of getting elected.
 
2014-08-21 09:09:11 AM  
 
2014-08-21 09:10:23 AM  
Given the hypocrisy rating of most fundies who actually attempt to live in the real world, I'm guessing the primary reaction will be, "Yay, free condoms!" At which point the rubbers will be stolen by said fundies' daughters when the parents aren't looking.
 
2014-08-21 09:14:23 AM  

monoski: Apparently he is not familiar with the "every sperm is scared" stance of the fundies.

//God be striking thee down with lightning for spilled seed.


Yes, but these fundies are Protestant.  In fact, they could go down the road any time they want and walk into Harry's and hold their heads up high, and say in a loud steady voice: 'Harry I want you to sell me a condom. In fact, today I think I'll have a French Tickler, for I am a Protestant.'
 
2014-08-21 09:21:22 AM  

mcmnky: Ooh, piece of candy. Ooh, piece of candy. Ooh, piece of candy.


This gum is flavorless and very chewy.
 
2014-08-21 09:21:51 AM  

monoski: Apparently he is not familiar with the "every sperm is scared" stance of the fundies.

//God be striking thee down with lightning for spilled seed.


I was going to fix that for you then I thought, meh?

What a scary sperm looks like...


i.imgur.com
 
2014-08-21 09:22:27 AM  
Next up: Door-to-door adoptions.

"Hi, I'm James Woods, I'm running for District 5. As a Christian, would you be interested in helping this fatherless black child? He's very eager to have his feet anointed with oil."
 
2014-08-21 09:25:13 AM  

farkbot42: monoski: Apparently he is not familiar with the "every sperm is scared" stance of the fundies.

//God be striking thee down with lightning for spilled seed.

I was going to fix that for you then I thought, meh?

What a scary sperm looks like...


[i.imgur.com image 500x277]


You, sir, owe me a new keyboard and a cup of coffee.
But that is okay, because you just won the Internet.
 
2014-08-21 09:26:31 AM  

jayhawk88: Next up: Door-to-door adoptions.

"Hi, I'm James Woods, I'm running for District 5. As a Christian, would you be interested in helping this fatherless black child? He's very eager to have his feet anointed with oil."

img.fark.net

"Dad, can I anoint the sores on his feet?"

 
2014-08-21 09:30:25 AM  

Laobaojun: farkbot42: monoski: Apparently he is not familiar with the "every sperm is scared" stance of the fundies.

//God be striking thee down with lightning for spilled seed.

I was going to fix that for you then I thought, meh?

What a scary sperm looks like...


[i.imgur.com image 500x277]

You, sir, owe me a new keyboard and a cup of coffee.
But that is okay, because you just won the Internet.


You probably needed a new keyboard anyway. Yay, stimulus-spending! Someone has to. :D

PS I nearly snotted my soda when I found that .gif. ;)
 
2014-08-21 09:31:48 AM  

farkbot42: monoski: Apparently he is not familiar with the "every sperm is scared" stance of the fundies.

//God be striking thee down with lightning for spilled seed.

I was going to fix that for you then I thought, meh?

What a scary sperm looks like...


[i.imgur.com image 500x277]


What is that from?
 
2014-08-21 09:33:43 AM  

Karac: farkbot42: monoski: Apparently he is not familiar with the "every sperm is scared" stance of the fundies.

//God be striking thee down with lightning for spilled seed.

I was going to fix that for you then I thought, meh?

What a scary sperm looks like...


[i.imgur.com image 500x277]

What is that from?


http://i.imgur.com/jeNH3sE.gif
 
2014-08-21 09:35:45 AM  
Wait, what?

Blind atheist Democrat actually named James Woods mails condoms to Pro-Life crowd after filling out one of their purity test forms completely against their platform?

*pinches self*

Sweet.

Not a dream.

Who's awesome? This guy's awesome.

Whar HERO tag, WHAR?!121!
 
2014-08-21 09:37:19 AM  

Karac: farkbot42: monoski: Apparently he is not familiar with the "every sperm is scared" stance of the fundies.

//God be striking thee down with lightning for spilled seed.

I was going to fix that for you then I thought, meh?

What a scary sperm looks like...


[i.imgur.com image 500x277]

What is that from?


http://imgur.com/gallery/jeNH3sE <--- gallery link.
 
2014-08-21 09:38:02 AM  

farkbot42: monoski: Apparently he is not familiar with the "every sperm is scared" stance of the fundies.

//God be striking thee down with lightning for spilled seed.

I was going to fix that for you then I thought, meh?

What a scary sperm looks like...

[i.imgur.com image 500x277]


So. Much. WIN!

Ta for link. That one goes in the WTF gif file.
 
2014-08-21 09:38:17 AM  

quatchi: Wait, what?

Blind atheist Democrat actually named James Woods mails condoms to Pro-Life crowd after filling out one of their purity test forms completely against their platform?

*pinches self*

Sweet.

Not a dream.

Who's awesome? This guy's awesome.

Whar HERO tag, WHAR?!121!


If he was a sword fighter it would make the circle of awesome complete.
 
2014-08-21 09:42:06 AM  

Tyrone Slothrop: If "pro life" people actually wanted to prevent abortion, they'd pomote contraception, oral and anal sex.


Here's the funny thing, they unintentionally are. See the term Saddlebacking .

From Urban Dictionary:
Saddlebacking - the term for the phenomenon of Christian teens engaging in unprotected anal sex in order to preserve their virginity. Named after Saddleback Churh, home of the Reverend Rick Warren, who is a proponent of abstinence education, the "sex ed" that has convinced so many Christian girls and boys that buttfarking isn't actually sex.

Saddlebacking - After attending the Purity Ball, Heather and Bill saddlebacked all night because she's saving herself for marriage.
 
2014-08-21 09:42:24 AM  
If "pro life" people actually wanted to prevent abortion, they'd pomote contraception, oral and anal sex.

I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
 
2014-08-21 09:43:03 AM  

Tyrone Slothrop: If "pro life" people actually wanted to prevent abortion, they'd pomote contraception, oral and anal sex.


They don't so much want to prevent abortion as they do want to punish women for having sex.
 
2014-08-21 09:44:15 AM  
If only there was some cheap item that could be used when sex happens to reduce the number of unplanned pregnancies that could result in abortions. Something rubbery perhaps.
 
2014-08-21 09:44:20 AM  

quatchi: Wait, what?

Blind atheist Democrat actually named James Woods mails condoms to Pro-Life crowd after filling out one of their purity test forms completely against their platform?

*pinches self*

Sweet.

Not a dream.

Who's awesome? This guy's awesome.

Whar HERO tag, WHAR?!121!


I know, right?
 
2014-08-21 09:46:02 AM  
Win.
 
2014-08-21 09:47:05 AM  

Gaddiel: Tyrone Slothrop: If "pro life" people actually wanted to prevent abortion, they'd pomote contraception, oral and anal sex.

Here's the funny thing, they unintentionally are. See the term Saddlebacking .

From Urban Dictionary:
Saddlebacking - the term for the phenomenon of Christian teens engaging in unprotected anal sex in order to preserve their virginity. Named after Saddleback Churh, home of the Reverend Rick Warren, who is a proponent of abstinence education, the "sex ed" that has convinced so many Christian girls and boys that buttfarking isn't actually sex.

Saddlebacking - After attending the Purity Ball, Heather and Bill saddlebacked all night because she's saving herself for marriage.


So sodomy is kind-a OK to Christians then?
Gays, take notes!
 
2014-08-21 09:47:44 AM  
Too bad someone didn't mail James Woods' dad a condom all those years ago.
 
2014-08-21 09:49:20 AM  
I posted the article on my Facebook page...

/evilly rubs hands...

//have lots of "pro-life" friends.

///gonna be awesome!
 
2014-08-21 09:54:53 AM  

Pharque-it: Gaddiel: Tyrone Slothrop: If "pro life" people actually wanted to prevent abortion, they'd pomote contraception, oral and anal sex.

Here's the funny thing, they unintentionally are. See the term Saddlebacking .

From Urban Dictionary:
Saddlebacking - the term for the phenomenon of Christian teens engaging in unprotected anal sex in order to preserve their virginity. Named after Saddleback Churh, home of the Reverend Rick Warren, who is a proponent of abstinence education, the "sex ed" that has convinced so many Christian girls and boys that buttfarking isn't actually sex.

Saddlebacking - After attending the Purity Ball, Heather and Bill saddlebacked all night because she's saving herself for marriage.

So sodomy is kind-a OK to Christians then?
Gays, take notes!


Oh we are. If fundie girls who've only ever taken it in the ass are still virgins, that means quite a few gay men, including a whole lot in porn are as well.

Also this:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQ36S3d1CaU
 
2014-08-21 10:00:34 AM  
Well, that's spectacular. I love it.
 
2014-08-21 10:03:02 AM  
Fundie wedding night:

M: "Are you a real virgin, or have you been taking it in the ass...?"
W: "Of course I have!"
M: "How many? 10-100-100?"

Long silence....

W: "Can it be 1000......?"
 
2014-08-21 10:05:16 AM  

Gaddiel: Pharque-it: Gaddiel: Tyrone Slothrop: If "pro life" people actually wanted to prevent abortion, they'd pomote contraception, oral and anal sex.

Here's the funny thing, they unintentionally are. See the term Saddlebacking .

From Urban Dictionary:
Saddlebacking - the term for the phenomenon of Christian teens engaging in unprotected anal sex in order to preserve their virginity. Named after Saddleback Churh, home of the Reverend Rick Warren, who is a proponent of abstinence education, the "sex ed" that has convinced so many Christian girls and boys that buttfarking isn't actually sex.

Saddlebacking - After attending the Purity Ball, Heather and Bill saddlebacked all night because she's saving herself for marriage.

So sodomy is kind-a OK to Christians then?
Gays, take notes!

Oh we are. If fundie girls who've only ever taken it in the ass are still virgins, that means quite a few gay men, including a whole lot in porn are as well.

Also this:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQ36S3d1CaU


Kate gives me the weirdest boner! Love her!
 
hej
2014-08-21 10:06:52 AM  

karnal: Too bad someone didn't mail James Woods' dad a condom all those years ago.


Is his dad pro life?
 
2014-08-21 10:07:23 AM  

Pharque-it: Fundie wedding night:

M: "Are you a real virgin, or have you been taking it in the ass...?"
W: "Of course I have!"
M: "How many? 10-100-100?"

Long silence....

W: "Can it be 1000......?"


M: how about BJ's?
W: Yep, gave my last one about 2 weeks ago.
 
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